Purified

"Isn't he wonderful?" Sienna smiled as she and Gianna rode in the elevator up to Sienna's apartment. Sienna leaned up against the back wall of the elevator, holding her drunken weight up.

"He's something else, that's for sure," Gianna laughed, holding onto Sienna's forearm as she pulled her towards the apartment.

"Do you know how badly I want to put my hands all over that body?" Sienna giggled as she stumbled towards her front door.

"Then why don't you?" Gianna asked, helping Sienna find her key. "You guys are glued at the mouth. What's stopping you?"

"I'm just not ready, you know?" Sienna replied, unlocking her front door with astounding ease. Sienna stumbled into the apartment and walked right to her bedroom, taking off her clothes and putting on one of James' shirts.

Gianna shut the door behind her, and locked it. She followed Sienna to her bedroom, laughing as she watched her friend struggle to put her clothes on.

"He is a good guy, Sienna." Gianna nodded at her friend once she settled into bed. "He really does adore you."

"You think so?" Sienna smiled, rubbing her belly.

"I do," Gianna replied. "He looks at you in this way that I can't even describe. It's like how every girl wants to be looked at. He looks at you like you're heaven, he really does."

"Stop," Sienna laughed, reaching into her bedside table and pulling out a bag of chips.

"You don't have a bag of Dill pickle chips beside your bed," Gianna laughed, shaking her head at her friend. "You haven't been this drunk in a really long time."

"I know," Sienna nodded, shovelling chips into her mouth. "Was I stupid around James?"

"Not at all," Gianna smiled knowingly.

"I don't want him to stop liking me because I'm a mess of a person when I'm drunk," Sienna replied. "I feel so out of control right now and like I was just an embarrassment around him."

"Trust me when I say that his mind won't change about you," Gianna stated firmly. She didn't want to tell Sienna what James told her. That would be ridiculous and would put a lot of stress on Sienna and James' relationship, but it was also hard to keep something like that from your friend.

....

James had an early practice the next morning. He pulled his tired body out of bed and shuffled to grab something quick to eat before heading to the arena. James walked in from his parking spot, meeting up with Sid.

"Late start, Cap?" James asked as he walked with his Captain.

"I couldn't sleep for some reason last night," Sid replied with a small yawn. "I didn't even drink that much, just had one beer and that was it. But couldn't sleep. You?"

"I had to deal with some crisis with Sienna's friend Gianna,"

"You had to?" Sid asked, opening the door for James and following him into the building.

"I didn't have to, but I wanted to. Sienna's my girl, and she loves Gianna like a sister," James replied, yawning himself. He couldn't believe how tired he was, and he wasn't even out that late. He had just been up all night worrying himself into a frenzy after he accidentally told Gianna he loved Sienna.

"Is Gianna the blonde you said would eat me alive?" Sid laughed as they walked into the locker room.

"She is," James laughed, nodding. "But last night when we picked her up from this really shitty date she had it made me think that maybe, just maybe, she might be just tame enough for you."

"Nice,"

James laughed and went to his locker, sitting down and getting ready for skate. He was so tired and all he wanted to do was lay down on his couch for the rest of the day, but he knew he couldn't do that. He couldn't let anyone know that he was tired or they would run him into the ground and make him work extra hard.

James thought about the "I love you" he didn't get to say to Sienna and immediately felt heavy with anxiety. He was afraid Gianna would say something to Sienna and that Sienna would be mad at him. James hadn't been in love a girl in a long time. He'd loved a lot of women, but he hadn't been in love for a long time.

Practice seemed to drag on since he was so tired, but he couldn't have been happier when it finally ended. James decided to head to Sienna's and see how hungover his girlfriend was. James pulled into the visitor's parking lot of her apartment building and buzzed her room.

"Hello,"

"Sienna, it's me," He smiled, his hands in his pockets.

"James!" She squealed and the line went dead. James pulled on the door, but it was still locked. He buzzed her apartment again, but it kept ringing. "Babe?"

The front door opened and a small woman came running at him, squealing his name.

"Thanks for telling me what you were doing," James laughed, picking Sienna up and smiling as she wrapped her legs around his waist. "Here i am thinking you had a heart attack or something."

"I'm fine," Sienna laughed, kissing his lips softly. "Hungover, but good."

"You were pretty drunk last night," James laughed, walking them to the elevator, putting her back on her feet again.

"I was," Sienna nodded. "Thank you for taking care of me, and thank you so much for caring for Gia. It honestly means the world to me that you are willing to love my friend and take care of her."

James just nodded softly. The word "love" cutting a hole in him. He wanted to tell her so badly, but he couldn't. The words swelled up on his tongue and made him feel like he was having an allergic reaction.
They got up to Sienna's apartment and James felt hot, like he was sweating his clothes right off of him. He felt full of anxiety and felt like he couldn't breathe.

"James?" Sienna asked, pulling him from his trance. James found himself sitting on Sienna's couch, unable to remember how they got there. He remembered coming into the apartment, but he didn't remember sitting down.

"Hey," She stated softly, straddling his lap. "Are you okay?"

James closed his eyes as she ran her fingertips through his hair. It was calming for him to have her run her hands through his hair.

"I love your hands," James stated softly with his eyes still closed. He put his hands on her thighs softly, just to keep her steady on him.

Sienna smiled and continued to gently massage his scalp. It was so nice to feel taken care of like that. It was the smallest of gestures that made James feel completely loved by her. She didn't have to say, though he was afraid that she didn't feel the same about him. He'd never been the one to tell a girl he loved her first. It just never happened that way, but the words were bubbling up in him. Those three words were gnawing at his stomach, clawing their way up into his throat. It was terrifying for him.

"I-"

"What's going on with you today?" Sienna asked, her hands on his shoulder. She gently touched his face, running her fingertips through his facial hair. "You seem off."

"I do?" He asked, trying to act as though he wasn't in the clutches of a panic attack.

"Yeah," Sienna nodded. "You seem like there's something on your mind. You're really deep in thought. I lost you for a good five minutes when you first got here. You know you can tell me anything."

"I do know that," James nodded, opening his eyes and looking at his girlfriend. "You're so beautiful, Sienna."

"Thank you," Sienna blushed. "So are you."

James felt his body getting hot. He felt as though the words were literally going to explode out of his chest. He wasn't ready. Or maybe he was and he was just afraid of what she would say to him. He had never felt this vulnerable in front of a woman before. This was new territory. He had never loved a woman he hadn't had sex with before.

But here he was. Sitting on a couch with the girl he loved, her fingers in his hair and her smile directed at him. He was so happy, and he hadn't even really stopped to recognize this newfound happiness. It was easy to be with her. It was fun and she was so caring. He wondered if he was good enough for her. He felt inadequate in that moment. He looked at her and immediately felt like she could do better. He felt like all he had was money, and she had all of these beautiful qualities.

"James, you're making me nervous," Sienna stated, touching his face gently. "Are you okay?"

"I love you, Sienna."