Mad World

I knew what I was doing now. I knew what I wanted to say. I knew what I had to do.
If I wanted to lift this weight off my shoulders and tell him.

Oh my, God, I was going to tell him.
The feeling of longing hadn't passed.
Might as well admit it and get it over with.
I'm sick, so sick of living in fear.

"Hey!" someone called. I was the only one in the deserted hall, so I turned. A muscled male and his lanky jock friends were strutting in my direction. "Are you friends with that fucking fairy?"

I narrowed my eyes at the leader and snarled in a low, dangerous voice, "Don't call him that."

The leader raised his brows. "Oh, you a faggot fairy, too?"

I looked at him and all his followers in the eyes and nodded timidly.

"Well, look here, boy, we don't take to kindly to fags and vandalism of our women's vehicles. And I've got a little message for you to pass on to your little boyfriend, fairy boy."

Without me registering what he meant, he lunged toward me, knocking me to the ground. I banged my head pretty hard on the floor. No matter how carpeted it was, the concrete underneath knocked me unconscious. Before everything went black, I heard the leader demand to his followers "Help me get him in my truck."

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I don't know how long it was before I was conscious again, but when I awoke, a headache hit me like a train. Then I remembered what had happened before I fell unconscious and panicked. I then realized I was tied to a metal beam.

"Where are we?" I whispered to the leader and stood before me. "If you do anything to me, I'll tell the authorities."

"Oh, no you won't." he growled, slapping a hand over my mouth and getting in my face. The force made my head fly back and knock against the metal column I was tightly strapped to. "Your precious little lips won't say one damn thing to no one."

There was a burning sensation in my neck and I freaked. I began to bawl, screaming and moaning and snorting.

I wasn't ready to die.
I didn't want to die.
I had to tell him...
I haven't told him yet.
Oh, god, this is it!

"Shut the fuck up, fairy boy!" the leader warned. "I ain't gonna kill ya."

"Why'd you bring me here? What do you want?" I screamed. i was scared out of my wits, even though he said he wouldn't kill me.

"Just to scare ya. Your boyfriend's next."

I still didn't deny he wasn't my boyfriend.

"What are you going to do to Gerard? Where is he?" I was panicking again.

"Gerard is still safely at school. Probably waiting for you. Anyway, let's make this quick. I don't wanna miss class." Ring leader got in my face and said very slowly and menacingly, "Tell your little butt-buddy that if he ever hurts Stacy again, he's got some serious hell to pay."

Stacy? This was about Stacy?

"He hurt Stacy? Let's not forget, she broke his heart to be with you and then you broke her heart because you got her pregnant. what changed all of a sudden?"

"She's getting an abortion, dick weed. After tonight, there will be no baby to get in the way of our dreams."

He sounded like a huge douche bag. How could Stacy be in love with that?

"You're a heartless man, Kaleb." I said abruptly. "You think killing your own seed will help your relationship? You and Stacy are sick people!"

"It's what's best for the both of us. We have reputations to keep."

"Her being Half-dressed Virgin Mary and you being Captain Crotch-dog?" I question sarcastically.

Okay, I sort of deserved the back-hand Kaleb gave me, but I had to admit, I was getting better at come-backs. I'd never spoken up for myself in years. My fear was subsiding.

I spit out blood and half-smiled. What had gotten into me? I was all of a sudden some badass movie character, being held captive by the enemy. What would be my badass escape plan?

"Don't make me tell everyone at school about you and your boyfriend!" Kaleb threatened. "Like I said, we don't take to kindly to fags. Not at St. Frances Chastain."

"I don't care." WHAT WAS I SAYING?! Shut up, Frank! Of course you care!

"Oh, you don't?" he taunted, looking back at his followers.

Of course I do...

"Boys, untie fairy boy." Kaleb ordered, jerking his head toward me.

As his minions untied me, I stared at him, burning holes in the back of his head with my eyes. The jock boys took turns pushing me around and punching me. I didn't bother fighting back. Once I was on the ground, coughing and moaning in pain, holding my sides, they retreated to Kaleb's truck outside the abandoned warehouse and drove off, leaving me stranded.

I slowly got to my feet, brushing off the dirt and dust. I limped out of the warehouse, taking in my surroundings. I couldn't be more than two blocks away from the school. I pass by this warehouse everyday when I drive to school.

So, I limped my way back to school, proud of myself. I'd stood up for myself and Gerard, even though he wasn't here to see my courageous act. I would just have to tell him about it. I smiled to myself.

I was a new Frank Iero.
I'd stood up to Kaleb.
I was going to tell Gerard I had a crush on him.
I was going to tell my parent's I was gay.
I wasn't going to let myself live in fear anymore.
I would never have to be afraid again.