Sequel: Until the End of Everything ›
Life, Love, and My Chemical Romance
Cows Are Nice.
I hate silence. It is the voice of emptiness, nothingness, hollowness. It was nothing. My walk home with Gerard was just that. Silent and useless. Uneventful and awkward.
And it was all my fault.
I wanted to talk to him, I wanted to scream at him. It was a feeling I had never felt towards him before. It was anger.
It was because he was ready to do it and I wasn't. I wasn't ready to do those things that songs are written about, that people dream about, that symbolizes true love.
Honestly, I love Gerard with all of my heart. I love him more than life itself, but I'm just not ready.
And that angered me. I couldn't talk to him because my heart was not filled with happiness, but it was filled with envy, anger, and sorrow. I needed to talk to someone I could trust.
So when Gerard kissed me goodnight and the fireworks didn't go off in my head, I decided Nicole was my last hope. She was the only one who could help me now. She's had a boyfriend for years, she has definitely been tempted to do it before.
I pulled my keys with the Misfits Fiend Club keychain out of my pocket and unlocked my front door. I didn't even turn to wave at Gerard. I couldn't look at him, I was still horror stricken. I kicked off my converse and turned to run upstairs, but I couldn't because my mother was standing in front of the steps, looking like she wanted to tell me something. Oh, please don't be my grandmother
"Hey, Mom." I said calmly.
"Sweetie," she said. She only called me that when she wanted to tell me something important, "I need to talk to you."
"About what?" I asked her. My mom was pretty cool with most things I did. She was young, well, thirty-five and understood that I wanted my privacy and didn't mind me dressing the way I did and listening to the music I liked.
"Well, it's about you and Gerard." For some reason, it bothered me when he said his name. Not because I was angry at him, I still got that wierd feeling in my stomach when I hear his voice or his name, but because I knew that I wouldn't like what she was going to say next.
"What about him?"
"Have a seat and I'll talk to you." I followed her up the stairs and sat on our boring beige leather couches. I hated our couches. Not because they were ugly, because they were, but because they were leather. I like cows. They're nice.
"Okay." I said motioning my mom to start talking."
"Sweetie, you and Gerard have been together for a few months now," she said. I knew where this was going and did not want to hear the rest of it, "and I just wanted to know if you had had sex yet."
"No." I said automatically. I hated talking about this stuff, especially to my mother.
"Well, Marilyn, I just want you to know, that if you want to do it, go ahead," my mouth was hanging open at this point, "But use protection."
"Uhh..." I started. I realy did not know what to say, "Okay." that was it. I got up and walked to the stairs and then sprinted to my room. And I thought that walk home was awkward.
I flew onto my bed, grabbed my cell phone, and dialed Nicole's number.
And it was all my fault.
I wanted to talk to him, I wanted to scream at him. It was a feeling I had never felt towards him before. It was anger.
It was because he was ready to do it and I wasn't. I wasn't ready to do those things that songs are written about, that people dream about, that symbolizes true love.
Honestly, I love Gerard with all of my heart. I love him more than life itself, but I'm just not ready.
And that angered me. I couldn't talk to him because my heart was not filled with happiness, but it was filled with envy, anger, and sorrow. I needed to talk to someone I could trust.
So when Gerard kissed me goodnight and the fireworks didn't go off in my head, I decided Nicole was my last hope. She was the only one who could help me now. She's had a boyfriend for years, she has definitely been tempted to do it before.
I pulled my keys with the Misfits Fiend Club keychain out of my pocket and unlocked my front door. I didn't even turn to wave at Gerard. I couldn't look at him, I was still horror stricken. I kicked off my converse and turned to run upstairs, but I couldn't because my mother was standing in front of the steps, looking like she wanted to tell me something. Oh, please don't be my grandmother
"Hey, Mom." I said calmly.
"Sweetie," she said. She only called me that when she wanted to tell me something important, "I need to talk to you."
"About what?" I asked her. My mom was pretty cool with most things I did. She was young, well, thirty-five and understood that I wanted my privacy and didn't mind me dressing the way I did and listening to the music I liked.
"Well, it's about you and Gerard." For some reason, it bothered me when he said his name. Not because I was angry at him, I still got that wierd feeling in my stomach when I hear his voice or his name, but because I knew that I wouldn't like what she was going to say next.
"What about him?"
"Have a seat and I'll talk to you." I followed her up the stairs and sat on our boring beige leather couches. I hated our couches. Not because they were ugly, because they were, but because they were leather. I like cows. They're nice.
"Okay." I said motioning my mom to start talking."
"Sweetie, you and Gerard have been together for a few months now," she said. I knew where this was going and did not want to hear the rest of it, "and I just wanted to know if you had had sex yet."
"No." I said automatically. I hated talking about this stuff, especially to my mother.
"Well, Marilyn, I just want you to know, that if you want to do it, go ahead," my mouth was hanging open at this point, "But use protection."
"Uhh..." I started. I realy did not know what to say, "Okay." that was it. I got up and walked to the stairs and then sprinted to my room. And I thought that walk home was awkward.
I flew onto my bed, grabbed my cell phone, and dialed Nicole's number.