It'll Be Your Name on My Last Breath

“What the hell happened between you two?!” Calyn shot at me after I had read the card that was tucked into the flowers.

“… Nothing,” I tried to shrug it off.

“It’s a whole lot of something. Now tell!” she got huffy.

“But… it’s a long story,” I didn’t want to tell her like this!

“I got time,” she leaned against the countered as she spoke.

“You can’t… be mad at me.” I started.

“Why would I be mad at you?” she crinkled her nose up.

“Because what I’m about to tell you is… a big deal. Only a handful of people know,” I confessed.

“Just tell me!” she was growing impatient.

I didn’t know how to start it. Do I just… blurt it out? Get right to the point? Explain everything from the beginning? Ah! This is so bad! It was easier when I told Jake! Why is telling my best friend so much harder?

“Ok, so… Wil and I… were kind of… a thing back when we were teens,” I started.

“Well, obviously!” she all but chuckled.

“And it got to the point where… things were pretty hot and heavy…”

“Ok, so he was the first? That’s what you’re hiding?” she butted in again.

“I got… pregnant…”

She looked back at me and her jaw dropped. That wasn’t the reaction I wanted! It was… kind of what I expected from her though. She’s my best friend. I should have told her this a long time ago, but… it wasn’t something I was really proud of.

“I kept it,” I went on, knowing this wasn’t going to get any better for her, “but my parents have custody of him until I think I’m able to live with him out here,” I explained.

Silence filled the room still. It was unsettling. There wasn’t much else to say! It was up to her now. And from the way she was looking, she didn’t know what to say.

“You… have a child?” came out first.

“A son… Liam,” I answered.

“And you… you never told me?” she was getting a little more wordy.

“I didn’t what anyone to think I was this bad, irresponsible person,” was my reply.

“But… me? Of all people?”

“I’m sorry. I never told anyone… except Jake last week,” I tried to soothe.

“And Wil…”

“Doesn’t know!” I felt my eyes grow wide, unable to control them.

“You’re kidding me! How old is he?” she was just firing them at me now.

“Almost… four,” I cringed.

“Kylee!”

“We both had just turned pro! I didn’t want to ruin anything for him! And even if he knew, he wouldn’t be around anyway,” I bickered with her.

“Oh my gosh,” she put her head in her hands and rubbed her forehead, “And Jake knows this?”

“Well… he doesn’t know about Wil, but…”

“Ky,” she shook her head.

“I know. I messed up, but… I didn’t know what else to do at the time. And I know if I tell Jake, it’ll make things weird between him and Wil and they have one of the greatest friendships I’ve ever seen,” I went on.

“How does this even happen? Good god, woman!” I knew she was trying to come across as teasing, but… it didn’t make it feel much better.

I hung my head and leaned against the counter too. This didn’t go as… I planned, but… at least she knows? And hopefully doesn’t tell anyone!

“Does he… look like Wil?” she asked softly.

Without moving my gaze from the wooded floor, I nodded my head. He might as well be a spitting image of Wil. I could just imagine the look on her face. I hated this! I hated that I hid it from everyone. I hated that Wil doesn’t know that he has an incredible four-year-old son. And I hated that… he’s not here with me right now.

“Do you… still have feelings for Wil?” she was much more tender than before.

I actually thought about this for a moment. I haven’t ever thought about it before. Obviously when I was pregnant, there was this hope that he’d come back and we’d be this cute little family, but as I was the one home with the baby more and more, that thought quickly flew out the window. But now…

“I don’t know,” I huffed.

“Aw, Ky,” she softened and opened her arms, telling me she wanted to give me a hug.

I took it. I was holding back tears. I didn’t know what to do now. More people know. The more people that know, the more people that they’ll and then Wil or Jake will find out the truth and… it may not be pretty. I just wanted to do the right thing, but apparently… I chose the most difficult way to handle that situation.