It'll Be Your Name on My Last Breath

“Feeling it tonight, babe?” I got excited as the main drew nearer.

“Oh, yeah!” he smiled through his stretching.

“You’re going to do awesome!” I grinned and reached up to give his lips a quick peck.

“PDA!” someone shouted at us. I glanced over and saw Ryan sending us his cheeky grin.

“Go kiss on your wifey!” I gave him a playful shove.

“Na, I’ll pick on you guys a little more,” he snickered.

“We have to get going though,” Jake countered.

“Calyn probably already left to watch the 250s then…” I huffed.

“Aw, go find your bestie,” Jake cooed teasingly.

I glared at him, only making him chuckle and reach down to kiss me once more.

“Love you,” I told him as we parted.

“Love you too,” he smiled.

“Be careful!” I pointed at him.

“Always,” he grinned.

And with that, I left Ryan and Jake to do more of their pre-race thing and tried to find Calyn. I wasn’t going to waste my time and try and spot her. I got my phone out and shot off a text. I got a reply rather quickly. She told me where she was and that’s exactly where I went. Even though Eli was far away from her, when I spotted her, she was still staring at him. Oh this girl…

“Does ass look any better the more you look at it?” I asked once I stepped towards her.

“Mhm,” she sighed with a dreamy tone to her.

“Oh, girly,” I giggled and took a seat next to her.

Up until the race started, she went on about this man. I let her go. I’m sure I do this about Jake and don’t realize it too much. And then even when the race got underway, she was screaming for Eli. I swear by the time it was over, she didn’t have a voice. He had won. She wasn’t sticking around after he crossed the finish line. She was crutching away, trying to make it to the podium so she could catch him.

I stayed behind. She would stay there for the whole ceremony and then go off with him back to his hauler. I needed to stay here and watch Jake. The way he was acting tonight made me hopeful for this race. If he can pull off something, it would be so incredible… and make me forget about all of this drama I my life right now.

He started great! He got the holeshot! Yes! Jake Weimer, actually got a holeshot! He even led for about three laps. I was so happy for him. That was awesome… would have been even better if had held on to it, but… He ended up fifth again. But he road so well. He has to be happy with that. He got to go to the podium though! He got his little holeshot check and got to say a few words. Aw, my Jakey!

After he stepped down, I was right there, sending him a big grin. When he saw it, his came over him. Before he could get away, I wrapped my arms around him tightly and kissed his sweaty cheek.

“Proud of you!” I beamed.

“Thanks, hon,” he just smiled so brightly.

It may not have been a win or a podium, but that was such a big deal. That’s progress! And the fact that he’s smiling right now. He had a few interviews before we got back to his pit. He was in such a better mood. It made me so happy which is such a contrast from this whole week.

“We driving home?” he asked once he was changed and ready to leave.

“If you want. I got to see what Calyn’s doing. She drove down with me,” I replied.

He nodded his head and then slung his backpack over his shoulders. As we started walking, he reached down and laced his fingers tightly with me. This simple action brought a smile across my face.

“Aw, look at you two,” Eli poked as he saw us approaching.

“So cute,” Calyn joined him.

“Anyway… Are you driving back with me or staying with Eli?” I asked her.

“I’m going to stay with my winner,” she smiled at her.

“Well, we’re going to head out, so… later,” I waved at them as Jake and I got to walking again.

“Have fun you two,” Eli taunted.

We just kept walking. I was ready to get home. And from the pace that Jake was walking, he did too. Once we got to my truck, Jake said he’d drive. I let him. It meant I could just relax and let him do everything. Fine by me. But a few minutes into our drive, he started talking.

“So, I talked to Wil earlier today,” he started.

“Oh?” was the only thing I said even though I was nervous as hell right now.

“Yeah, he said he talked to you the other day.”

“We met up for coffee,” I was honest…

“He kept kind of going on about you guys from back when.”

I stayed silent. He so told him! That asshole! Why would he do that?

“He said that… you guys stopped talking when each of you… turn pro,” he kept going.

“Yeah…” I didn’t think you were that smart! Please don’t put this together.

“And you said that the guy that got you pregnant bailed on you after he turned pro…”

“Well, yeah, but that doesn’t… mean that… it’s Wil’s,” I stumbled over my words.

“I never said that it was,” he countered.

“Right,” I was getting ahead of myself. God damn it!

“But you would… tell me if that was the case right?”

“Would you… freak out?” I couldn’t hold my tongue.

“I would be a little upset, but that was before we met, so why would I freak out?”

“Because you seem so cool about everything, but there has to be something that just pushes you over that ledge and I think it just might be telling you that your best friend I the father of my child,” I just let it go.

“What you guys had… is what you had. That doesn’t change things between us,” he replied, seeming unbothered by it all.

I just nodded my head. I didn’t want to make anything worse. I was worked up and didn’t want to be. Silence filled the truck the rest of our journey home. When he pulled into my driveway, I tried to hurry out. Jake caught up to me though. His arms quickly hooked around my middle and pulled me against his chest.

“I love you,” he spoke and pressed his lips to my forehead, “and nothing’s going to change that.”

I wanted to cry right now. I’m pretty sure I’m the most difficult girlfriend ever. And Jake… just loves me. Is he crazy?! But he’s just… so amazing. Granted he doesn’t know too many details about Wil and I just yet, but… I need to stop doubting his reaction to things. All I want is to be happy. And right now, Jake’s that one that does all of this for me no matter what he finds out about me.