It'll Be Your Name on My Last Breath

Throughout the week, Calyn and I have been hanging out a lot. I know she’s going to be heading to Colorado soon and I just wanted to get in more time with her before she left. She’s been… putting bugs in my ear though. It’s… mainly about Wil. I haven’t seen him since our blow out a few weeks ago. She says this could prove that he’s an unfit parent, but… I really didn’t want to cause any more waves in our relationship than there needed to be. That could all change today though.

“I… need you to talk to Wil,” Jake spoke as he came in and sat on the couch with me. Liam was off in his room, playing. Ever since we got it complete, he’s loved it.

“Why?” I shot a look at him.

“I think it’s time that we really give this whole custody/adoption thing a push,” he explained.

“Then you can talk to Wil. You’re the one that wants to adopt his son,” I was quick to reply.

“But… you’re the baby momma…” he snickered, making me roll my eyes. I just really didn’t want to talk to Wil!

“We haven’t even talked to Liam about it,” I huffed.

“LIAM!” Jake called out to my son.

“Not now! I’m not prepared,” I quickly shot at him.

He just grinned at me innocently as the soft pitter-patter of my little boy’s feet filled the house. He stopped just at the end of the stairs, looking between Jake and I.

“Come here,” Jake encouraged.

He did what he was told and walked right into Jake’s arms to be pulled onto his lap.

“Mommy wants to ask you something,” he started.

“I do not!” He wasn’t getting out of this.

“What?” the little boy was getting testy now.

I kept glaring at Jake, but he was just smiling at me. He wasn’t going to say one word. Ass! Knowing this, I decided to… try to ease into this.

“Mommy and Jake were talking and…” I paused to try and find the right words. Is he… too young for this? I don’t even know! “We were wondering if you would like… Jake to be your daddy,” I put out there.

He seemed to let my words sink in. He looked at me for the longest time before looking up at Jake. Slowly, Jake’s smile came over him, causing Liam’s to follow too.

“Yeah,” he spoke softly.

“Yeah, what?” I wanted him to say it before I even thought about speaking to Wil.

“I want him to be my daddy,” he smiled brightly.

On the inside, I was really hoping that he would say that. Jake’s… been his dad ever since he’s moved out here. He’s always been there for him. It wasn’t just… legal. After the excitement wore off, Jake pulled Liam in close to give his forehead a soft kiss. The boy went on to wiggle his way out of Jake’s arms and trotted back off into his room.

“Time to talk to Wil,” Jake snickered.

“Why can’t you do it? He’ll yell at me,” I whined and curled up to him more.

“Then you come back and tell me, and I’ll kick his ass,” he replied.

“No, no fighting,” I huffed.

He tired to bicker with me, but… I was trying to work myself up to go talk to Wil about this. I felt like… I should do it now. It’s fresh in my mind and maybe he’ll think about it and realize it’s the best thing for Liam. But I was so nervous!

When I pulled into the driveway of his house, I sat there for a few long minutes, trying to think of how to approach this. We haven’t talked since the race that we went off on each other. This isn’t going to end well at all. I can just tell! While I was still sitting here, something tapped on my window. It scared the hell out of me! I looked over and saw Wil behind the tinted glass. He saw my expression and laughed. Asshole!

“God damn it, Wilbur,” I huffed as I opened the door.

“What are you doing?” he chuckled still.

“I came to talk to you, but apparently you rather scare the hell out of me,” I muttered, still trying to catch my breath.

“Everything… ok?” he changed his tone.

“It’s uh… Maybe we should… go inside and sit down?” I suggested.

He looked at me for a few unsure seconds. Eventually, he agreed and led me into his house, stopping at the living room. He sat down on the couch and patted the spot next to him. I took it, only to sit down and let out a sigh.

“What’s up?” he seemed to be afraid to ask.

“I know… you’re not going to like what I’m going to bring up. But I want you to think it over and make your decision based off of what would be best… for Liam,” I started, feeling my heart start to pound now.

“Ky,” he sighed and put his head in his hands.

“You know Jake and I are getting married…”

“Ky…” he repeated, most likely knowing what I was going to say and didn’t want me to go on. But… I had to.

“Jake’s been talking about… adopting Liam. And we would need your consent to do that,” I put out there, plain and simple.

Silence fell over the two of us. That’s all I needed to say. I honestly wanted to leave and let him think over things. I expected him to get upset and say no right away. But… it’s what’s best for Liam!

“That’s… my son,” he spoke softly.

“And I don’t want to change that, but…”

“But you just want to give him to Jake,” he cut me off.

“That’s not what that means,” I countered.

“What else is it? I sign over my rights and then he never sees me again?”

“You can still see him, Jake would just…”

“Be daddy,” he wouldn’t let me finish again.

All I could do was press my lips tightly together. That… was right. And it sounded so bad coming out of his mouth, but… he hasn’t made much effort lately! What am I supposed to think?

“Obviously, this is all up to you. I just… wanted you to know that it’s… been discussed,” I told him.

“Thanks,” he replied, but there was a bit of attitude in his voice.

And with that, I left. I wasn’t going to stick around so that we could get into another heated argument. It wasn’t anything personal against him. I just want what’s best for my son. And right now, I feel like the best thing for my son is… Jake. I just hope… Wil can decide and it doesn’t start an all out war between anyone.