내 곁에 있어줘

Students flooded the halls eagerly, chatting in loud, excited tones as I shoved the thick history textbook into my locker. I heard my name spoken somewhere a few feet away and chose to ignore it, but I couldn't ignore the memories that came with it. People spoke my name a lot in the past three years. In middle school, it had just been a name, but after high school, it had become a cuss word, an insult, and a curse. It meant many things: bitch, liar, slut. I was used to it by now, but it didn't change the heavy feeling in my heart. I swallowed my emotions and shut the locker, heading toward my next class.

"Emiko!" a voice called from behind me. I turned. It was one of the boys from ESL- Gerard. "Where you going?"

"French class," I told him with a smile. "What's up?"

"Sorry to ask, but I need help with homework. English is too hard." He looked embarrassed asking for help. "A lot of other students need help too. We all come together to your help."

"Really?" I said, surprised. "But it's not even the end of the semester yet."

He looked at the floor. "I know. We aren't good."

"Don't be embarrassed. I'll help you guys." I thought of my schedule that day. I didn't have any clubs after school on Tuesdays, so it wouldn't be a problem to meet up with everyone after school. "What time do you want me to help tutor you?"

"I ask them and tell you after," he said, nodding quickly. "Thanks you."

"Don't worry about it." He walked me the rest of the way to class, and we parted at the door. He continued up the stairs, and I ducked into the French room. The flamboyant teacher greeted me happily, and handed me a white board that we were doing grammar exercises on. I sat down in the nearest chair and began the exercise on the projector.

***

When I pushed open the door to the lecture hall, I found almost all of the ESL class waiting for me. I remembered only a few names, but I moved to the front of the room anyway. Gerard was sitting in the middle of the group, talking to another boy from the Philippines. I noticed that everyone else was also talking to others from their native countries, except Jinyoung, who sat quietly by himself, looking down at a small English textbook.

"Hi, everyone," I projected, setting down the curriculum booklet that the secretary had given me. "If you remember, my name is Emiko. I'm here to help tutor you in English. What did you learn in class today?"

Karim raised his hand. "We learn causative verb."

"Okay. Did all of you understand the lesson today?" I asked, scanning each face. No one said anything, which told me that they didn't. Letting out a breath, I turned away from the group to write on the white board. My teacher asked me to do my homework. I turned back to the class. "How can I use a causative verb to change this sentence?" No one volunteered, nor did anyone speak up. "Does anyone want to give it a try?"

After a few more seconds of silence, Jose stood up. "I'll do it, Miss." He took the marker from my hand and rewrote the sentence. My teacher made me do my homework. He stared at what he'd written for a moment, checking his work, before setting the marker down and walking back to his seat.

"That's right. When using a causative verb, it comes after the person doing the verb. Then, the unconjugated form comes after the subject. The teacher is the one causing the student to do their homework. I'd like everyone to make a line in front of the whiteboard. Everyone will get a chance to write an example sentence."

I heard some grumbling as the students shuffled out of their seats and toward the board. I held a small box of black markers and everyone took one, finding a spot on the long whiteboard to write a sentence. A few of them struggled to come up with prompts, but after everyone filtered away, only one student was left- Jinyoung. As if realizing he was the last, he hurriedly scrawled something and walked away quickly.

I examined the sentences. Most of them were correct. I circled one of the sentences: School should make us to bring our own laptops. "This one correctly used a causative verb, but it sounds a little strange. Can anyone tell me how to fix this one?"

No one answered. Just as I was about to answer for them, Jinyoung raised his hand. "Um, just take out 'to'..."

I nodded. "Why is that?"

"It doesn't make sense with 'to'... 'We to bring our laptops'... it would be 'We bring our laptops'."

"Good job. Does everyone understand now?" Everyone nodded, looking a little brighter. "Are there any questions?"

Gerard raised his hand this time. "Excuse me, Miss. I wonder does American use this often?"

"Yes, we use this grammar a lot. If you have any questions about it that I didn't answer, please ask." I pulled out my binder. "Okay, everyone. I have some homework here for you guys." Now they all grumbled and sighed. "Don't get so upset. I know you have homework from your class, but this homework should take you about 5 minutes. I'll give you the answer sheet tomorrow afternoon so we can check it together."

The students grabbed the homework from the table and began to filter out. The last one was Jinyoung. He waited patiently as I sent a text to my mother that I was ready to be picked up. When I finished, I saw him looking at me.

"Is there something wrong?" I asked. "Do you understand everything?"

"Yes," he answered shyly. He blushed a little. "I want to ask... can you help me?"

"With what?" I asked, putting the phone in my pocket and turning my full attention to him.

"I want to take the ACT test this year," he told me. "I'm 17, just like the others... I don't want to be too far behind."

"I don't know, Jinyoung. That might be pretty tough for you. You're doing than the other students, but I think the ACT might be pushing it."

"I know I can do it, Emiko. Please, I just need your help." He looked sincere. "Please."

If he was anything like the friends I made in Japan and China, he was absolutely serious and he wouldn't let anything hinder him from reaching his goal. If he were really determined, I believed that he could do it, too. "You're serious about this?" He nodded. "You won't give up if it gets tough?" He shook his head. "You won't make up excuses, or meet up with me without having finished homework if I assign it?"

"I won't," he promised.

"It's going to be a lot of work," I reminded him again. "You already have a lot of work, but this is just going to add more."

He smiled confidently. It looked good on him. "I know."

"Okay. I'll help you."

He bowed deeply. "Thank you so much."

"Don't thank me until you get your 36," I said, shuffling the papers and stuffing them into my binder again. "See you tomorrow."