내 곁에 있어줘

"I see a geisha!" a familiar voice announced.

"Yeah, I wonder how much she'll charge for a quickie these days?" a second person said, laughing along with the others.

Ignoring them, I bent down to pick up my notebooks.

"Look at her... she's just begging for it, isn't she?"

"And here I thought Asians were prudes."

I gathered the rest of my things quickly, smothering my pain under anger. I slammed my locker closed and hurried to my next class. The boys followed me, continuing their ugly remarks just loud enough for me to hear, yet softly enough that teachers couldn't. I forced myself to pretend they weren't there, though their horrible words echoed in my head. I reached for the door's handle, relief overwhelming me at the knowledge that I could escape their comments soon. The door was locked.

"Aww, isn't that sad, Vince? Look, she can't ignore us now."

Vincent, a boy I'd grown up with and had known for longer than 10 years, stood quietly without comment. He had always been like that- just standing there. We'd never been best friends, but there was a time when we relied on and trusted each other. Before Landon, we'd always been kind to each other, he never criticized me once, much less made fun of me. Even now, he just stood there. But in truth, he was worse than his friends.

I stared down at the floor, trying in vain to drown out their words with thoughts of music.

"What is wrong with you?" a voice demanded. I looked up curiously. No one ever challenged Vince and his friends. It was Gerard. His expression was furious, but his shortness wasn't exactly intimidating. "How could you say that things about Emiko?"

"It's a little mutt, come to save the slut." The taunt burst from Justin, the school's star wrestler. He was a tall, muscular guy with wide shoulders that barely transitioned into a small, square head with shaved blond hair. "Keep barking, little doggie."

"Don't be so harsh, Justin! He's just trying to impress the bitch so he can fuck her just like half the school already has." This time, it was one of the football players. He knocked the books out of Gerard's hands, scattering them across the hallway.

"Fuck you!" Gerard spat.

"You little slant-eyed bitch!" As the football player moved to hit Gerard, two history teachers seemingly sprung out of nowhere, tackling him to the ground and restraining him. They hauled him off to the office without another word. I wondered how they could have known he was going to fight, yet they could never confront the boys about their bullying or their language. The other boys stood there watching their friend get dragged away.

"It's a bad idea starting shit with us, you little chink," Justin said, getting into Gerard's face. He stood there calmly, letting the taller, stronger boy spit angry words into his face. "You'd better watch yourself." He shouldered him as he and Vince walked away.

"I'm sorry," I said quietly, feeling tears prickling in my eyes. "I didn't want anyone else to get involved with this."

"Don't sorry. It's not good for to do that at you." He nudged me. "Anyway, we are friend. Because you help foreigner student, we also must help you."

Poor Gerard, I thought, He doesn't know what he's getting himself involved with. But when he found out... surely, he would also abandon me. I forced myself to smile a little, but I felt nauseated. I was too afraid of losing his respect to explain anything.

***

I opened the doors to the library, the thick ACT practice book in my arm. I found Jinyoung sitting in the back, behind the bookshelves. I set down the book on the small, round desk, and gauged his expression. There was none. I opened the book to the first practice test.

"You can do the first one as a pre-test. I'll know what to teach you from there," I said, scrawling the date and test number on a notebook page. "We'll start lessons tomorrow." When he didn't respond or take the book, I looked up. He was staring at me. "Is something wrong?"

He stared a little while longer before taking the book. "No."

Normally, I would have pushed it, but I was tired of dealing with people that day. Vince and his friends had drained out any curiosity I might have had. I still felt guilty about what Gerard had done, getting himself into something that he didn't even understand. The last thing I wanted to do was hear more things that might upset me.

"When you start writing, I'll begin timing," I told him.

He scribbled furiously in the book, pausing only to read the questions. He was surprisingly quick in all of the tests except for reading and English. I watched him sometimes, impressed by his determination and his strange allure. He was not the kind of boy who would be considered attractive by anyone else. His long hair was girlish compared to American boys. His eyes were small and considered unattractive with their short, downward-sloping lashes. Above them, he had thick black eyebrows that had obviously never been trimmed, waxed, or plucked in his life. But his nose was slim and well-shaped and his lips were small and cute. It was a sort of attractiveness not truly appreciated in the Midwest.

After a few hours, he pushed the book away and the answer sheet. He rubbed his eyes. I went over the answers. His math was perfect, as I had expected from a Korean student. His science score was also high, but his English was, as I had expected, very poor. He hadn't finished all of the questions in the reading section, and he'd circled several words that he didn't understand.

"We don't have to worry about math and science. Just English," I said, circling all of the wrong answers he'd made. "The good news is that English is only half the test."

"That's 'good'?" he asked, looking miserable.

"Better than the whole thing, right?" He looked down, but nodded. "I'll have some homework waiting for you tomorrow."

"Thank you... Emiko."

"Don't worry about it," I said, stuffing the thick book into my backpack. The library was almost empty. The librarians weren't even around. It was a little creepy, even in the middle of the day.

Jinyoung slung his backpack over his shoulder and followed me outside. I noticed that he kept checking his phone, but it never seemed to vibrate. My mom's car pulled up, but I noticed my step-father inside. His frowning face was looking the other way as if just seeing me would ruin his day.

"Do you need a ride home?" I asked, pausing just short of the car door. Jinyoung blushed.

"No. I'm fine."

"Are you sure?"

He hesitated, looking up at my step-dad who was likely glowering at him, and then shook his head. "I'm fine. Thank you."

I waved goodbye, and couldn't blame him. I didn't want to be in this car, either.

My step-father drove in complete silence. No radio, no talking. I didn't want to talk, either, but the absolute silence was terrifying. I inched as close as I could to the window, wanting to fly out like some kind of insect. I forced myself to look out the window at the buildings on the street whose appearance was already burned into my memory. I'd stared out so many times, I could never forget even the smallest details of the scenery.

As the car lurched to a stop, I heard him sigh pointedly. The sound was ugly, like a rasping, rabid dog. There was an old man crossing the street at the crosswalk, his stooped limbs taking him longer than the street lights had timed for pedestrians. A sick feeling rose up in me, as it always did when he got angry at something.

When we reached the house, I jumped out of the car and hurried up the stairs and inside, taking my shoes off at the door. He tromped through the house in his boots. It felt like my mom was with a mountain man sometimes. I retreated to my room to be alone. My mom wouldn't be home for another hour. Until then, as long as I could stay away from my step-dad, I would be fine.