내 곁에 있어줘

The next morning when I arrived at school, there was a group of girls out front talking in hushed tones. They shivered in their short skirts and t-shirts. As I passed by, their talking stopped altogether, then picked up with renewed fervor. I ignored their conversation and opened the doors. Ellie was standing just inside, looking confused.

"Hey, Emi," she said, biting her lip. "Where have you been for the past thirty minutes?"

I slid my hand around my arm, covering the fresh bruise as if it were visible on my sleeve. "Getting ready for school. I woke up later than usual."

"You missed it," she said impatiently, completely ignoring me. "Some guy from the wrestling team was fighting an Asian kid. I heard that it was about you."

I felt my stomach drop. "What? Was anyone hurt?"

"Yeah. That Asian kid got beat up pretty bad, but I heard that Justin didn't make it out without some bruises either." She looked around before leaning in to whisper the rest. "He put up a damn good fight, but Justin is twice his weight and I heard that he was a boxer."

"Where did they go?" I asked, not wanting to hear details. I felt sick. "Are they in the nurse's office?"

"The Asian guy is. Justin is probably in the office on the phone with his parents." She turned away with her duffel bag. "See you around."

I waved goodbye to her and hurried down the hall toward the nurse's office. I rounded the corner and saw Gerard walking out with a bag of ice against his face. He looked at me and smiled a little, though it looked more like a grimace.

"What did you do?" I asked, unable to keep from staring. His face was bruised from his cheekbone to his jaw on the right side and the left side was bandaged with gauze. His lip was cracked and swollen near the corner, blood coagulating only slightly. He held ice to that side. One of his eyes was already swelling shut. "You look terrible!"

"I am fine," he said, waving away my concern. "It looks more bad than it is."

"Why did you do it?" I asked, wanting to scowl at him, but not having the heart even for joking. Guilt gnawed against my stomach. "It was so stupid of you..."

"I can't let them do that to you," he answered, opening his locker. He held himself with dignity despite his injured face. When people stared, he challenged them with a hard stare of his own. Most people looked away after only a second or two. "You are always kind to foreigners. We should return your favor."

"You don't even know the whole story, Gerard." I sighed. "I appreciate your friendship, and that you would fight for what you believe is the right thing to do... but in this case, I don't think you will be happy with what you did."

I watched him moving his books around in his locker, pushing the thick textbooks against the side to free a bent folder from the bottom. Papers were shoved between pages of the textbooks and falling out of journals and folders. A jacket's sleeve hung from the shelf near the top of the locker. He rummaged around for a pencil and stood there, staring into his locker for a while.

"I already know," he said at last, zipping closed his backpack and slinging it onto his back. "I am on soccer team. One friend tell me that story." He closed his locker slowly, looking at me with his good eye. "You should tell people the truth."

I laced my fingers together, fighting the tears that threatened in my throat. "No one would believe me."

"You don't know that," he said, putting a hand on my shoulder. "Emiko, you must give people the chance to understand or they will never understand. What you lose by telling truth?"

"Not everyone deserves to know the truth," I said, meeting his eyes. "This stigma- my stigma- is my own story. It is my life, my mistakes, my misery. Why should anyone else know?"

"Maybe it is your story," he said, looking at me with pity, "but the guy that hurt you made everyone else characters. If you want to see a good ending, you must to tell truths."

Before I could argue more, he stepped around me and walked down the hallway toward the gym. I walked to my locker numbly. I didn't know anyone on the soccer team, but Ellie did. Ellie was the only person who had guessed anything near the truth. She told everyone she felt comfortable with about her conclusion. I'd never affirmed or denied it, so it was still unofficial, but it was closer to the truth than anything the rest of the school had come up with.

***

"What's that?" I asked from across the table. Jinyoung laughed shyly, pushing it under his napkin with a fork.

His younger brother, Seonyoung, laughed too. They didn't look very much alike. The only similarities were their small, puckered lips with their goofy smiles and their thick black eyebrows. Seonyoung was cuter than his older brother. He had bigger eyes, a rounder nose, and a shy, cheerful attitude. He also wore thick-rimmed glasses. The major difference was their complexion. Seonyoung was very dark for a Korean, though the color was even and natural.

"It's nothing," Jinyoung assured me, taking a French fry from my plate. I scowled at him.

"Why don't you eat your own?" I demanded, stealing one of his. "It tastes the same."

"But it's on my plate. I don't want what's on my plate." He took a drink of my soda and set it back down in front of me, a challenge in his eyes as he waited for my response.

"You really think that's going to stop me?" I asked, taking a big gulp from the same spot. He blushed, and buried his face in his hands as his brother laughed.

"It's like an indirect kiss!" Jinyoung lamented, poking his French fries with a fork. "Why would you do that to me, Emiko?"

"Wow!" I called, glaring. "Are you trying to say that my indirect kiss traumatized you, or something? Because if you are, I can just stop teaching you English."

Seonyoung laughed as his brother attempted to recover. "No! That's not what I meant.... what I meant was... how can you only give me an indirect kiss, not a direct one?" I raised an eyebrow. "Not that I want you to kiss me. I- Oh, forget it."

"My brother was never very good with girls," Seonyoung said to me, smiling. Jinyoung poked him in the side so hard that he jumped.

"That's not true, dork," he said, giving his brother a dirty look. "Besides, you're the one that's never had a girlfriend before. At least I have some experience."

"He's two years younger than you," I pointed out, causing Seonyoung to laugh and Jinyoung to give me stink eye.

"Oh, you're on his side, now?"

"Since when have there been 'sides'?" I asked, looking at both of them.

"If you're not with me, you're with him," Jinyoung decreed dramatically, waving his arm toward his brother. "Choose your allies wisely, Emiko."

I sighed. "Why am I friends with you, again?"

For the next fifteen minutes, I laughed and joked with the two brothers. Fondness welled up within me for the both of them. They were funny, kind, and so adorable. I wanted to stay with them for longer, but I had to leave halfway through lunch to help one of the students with his ESL homework. Those fifteen minutes made me feel as though my life would look up someday. Maybe one day I wouldn't have to cover up bruises and be beaten or hated. Maybe one day I would be loved.