Stay With Me

The band had already returned to the bus, most of them still sweaty from sitting in the heat, although they were in the shade of the tent. “’Ello, lads!” I announced our arrival, stepping up into the bus after Kyla, Stephanie, and Andra. I grinned largely, as Oli waved at the girls. Nicholls, Vegan, and Lee were all in wraps with the TV, playing ore Fifa. I could’ve sworn they were all addicted to the damn game. T’was rude, they hadn’t answered anyone, if you ask me. “Aye, Nicholls, get yer arse outta tha’ TV!” I shouted in his ear. He flinched, and his jaw had dropped from the initial shock of the scream. He jumped up and startled me, but wasted no time tackling me to the ground.

“Tom, yeh fuckin’ prick! ‘M gonna kick yer arse!” I laughed, as my body had slammed down to the ground. Not giving two thoughts about what was going on, Matt had tackled me in his underwear, trapping my head in a headlock. He was entirely oblivious to the girls as they couldn’t control their giggles, even Andra. Oli had already engaged the three in conversation. Kyla and Stephanie looked as if they were on cloud nine, and Andra? Well, she kept her cool. I overheard Oli compliment Andra on her tank, and she sarcastically replied with a “yeah, but tha’ person who owns Drop Dead is a douche” messing around with Oli. I actually heard him laugh out loud and saw a big smile on his face from her sarcastic remark, while Kyla and Stephanie seemed annoyed that he talked to Andra for the two seconds he had.

As they conversed, Matt and I continued to wrestle around on the ground, until he caught me in such a bad headlock that he had my throat cut off, slowly turning my face from a normal colour to a pink, then red, and finally an almost purple colour. I fought against his tight grip, struggling to even breathe. The lack of oxygen finally got to my muscles and slowly dilapidated them, making even trying to move a difficult task. Lee looked down from his seat to see me trying to flail around, and he shot up and screamed, “Nicholls! Let ‘im go! ‘E’s gonna pass out!” And finally, air rushed back into my lungs in one big breath. Now I knew what Vic meant by “Can I even complicate your breathing?”

Matt finally picked himself up, allowing me to move freely once more. I, on the rare occasion, forgot Matt did the whole professional backyard wrestling thing when we were kids. And when he would get pissed off at me, he’d just strip down, butt-ass naked, and tackle me to the ground. He decided to talk to the girls, even though he was still in just his underwear. He’d soon realize that he was just in his underwear and would put clothes on. From what I heard from different women, he probably just shouldn’t wear clothes anymore at all. I shook my head in disgust. Some people can be so obsessive and possessive over people they don’t even know.

“Tommeh, why don’ yeh introduce us?”

Lee handed me a cup of water. Vegan and Lee must have finished their Fifa game while Matt and I struggled against each other on the ground. They peered at me as I was recovering from my almost death at the hands of Mick Picks’s headlock. Oli had the girl engaged in conversation, which was out of the normal for him. Oli lately had been acting weird around me, and well, everyone else too, but mainly me, and he seemed really thin, compared to normal. The Bulls Jordan jersey he wore practically hung off a skeleton rather than a body. And his skinny jeans that used to be tight now were baggy and loose. He honestly seemed sick. Everyone on the bus noticed this growing trend with him, but only Sam had said anything about it to him.

I hopped up once I had regained my strength and breath. Andromeda had already been waiting for me to introduce her to the rest of the band. She seemed less interested in Oli than her sisters. She kept peering over at Nicholls, who was putting clothes on after he had realized that he was in just his boxer briefs. My cheeks grew red in jealousy. Bad Tom! You’re not allowed to be jealous, remember? You have a stunning girlfriend at home, who is expecting your child. Even with telling myself that, jealous raced through my veins.

“All righ’! Everehone! This is Andromeda, Kyla, and Stephanie!” I announced their names, once Nicholls rejoined us, fully clothed. I acknowledged each sister, pointing to the correct girl, according to name. Andra put a fake smile on while she greeted everyone, but then instantly glared after everyone took their eyes off of her, obviously very angry with me for calling her full name rather than Andra as she had requested earlier in the day.

As the rest of the band had joined in conversations, I grabbed a hold of Andra’s attention miraculously, which was mainly on Nicholls. He kept her very active in conversation, and she looked a bit like she had stars in her eyes. Why didn’t she look at me like that? Soon, Oli grabbed me by the arm. My head jerked in his direction. At this point, I was confused. Oli dug his fingernails, or what he had for fingernails, right into my skin, which fucking hurt. What the hell is he doing? He muttered a barely audible excuse to step outside and dragged me away from Andra, who went back to gawking at Mick Pickles. Oli pulled me down the bus steps. I had no idea why he was taking me away from her.

“Olleh, wha’ tha’ ‘ell are yeh doin’?” I almost screeched, “Jesus Christ, could yeh dig aneh deeper into me skin?” We stopped just outside the bus door. He finally freed my arm, which I instantly shot back to my side and began examining the damage he had done. He slammed the bus door shut and turned back to face me. I have never seen Oli have such a menacing look upon his face. Fire ranged in his eyes. His teeth suffered from his heavy and maddening bite. It honestly looked like a demon possessed his body, and an exorcism was the only thing that would help him.

His lip twitched. How and why was he this angry with me? “I know ‘ow yeh fuckin’ look at a bird when yeh wanna bonk ‘er, yeh twit.” He snarled at me between gritted teeth. “Wha’ tha’ ‘ell are yeh doin’! Yer expectin’ a child, yeh fuckin’ twat! Wiff yer girlfriend of god knows how many years now!” My teeth retracted my lower lip between them. I didn’t want to bonk her. I just… I don’t even know what I want with her. I guess I was a bit interested, but I swear not like that. My nerves sunk in my body like a ship with the entire bow ripped out. My hands began to shake violently, as I jammed them in my front pockets to avoid Oli seeing my one and only way to really know I was nervous. What the fuck was with all of these confrontations with me today? Like what the hell are wrong with these people!

Oli stared me down. His eyes penetrated my soul, leaving every secret out of my chest, secrets that I was to take to the grave. “It’s noffin’, Olleh. I promise yeh.” I avoided Oli’s eyes as much as possible. I couldn’t look at him, so I just knew he knew I was lying. I was a terrible liar, becoming very obvious within seconds of the lie.

His hand clenched into the tightest fist at his side. “Well, yeh fuckin’ twat, it betta stay tha’ way. Yeh can’t fuckin’ ‘ave ‘er. Yeh ‘ave Auds. Tha’ bird fuckin’ lives an’ dies for yeh, an’ I swear on mum an’ dad, an’ ‘ell let’s add Sam in on this, if yeh so as much even touch ‘er tha’ wrong way, ‘Ll fuckin’ end yeh. Yeh guts will be spilled. Evereh fuckin’ secret will come out to ‘er. Don’ yeh dare ‘urt Auds like that.”

“Was jus’ gonna ask ‘er-“ I really didn’t get to say much with my big brother today. When it came to Audri, overprotective was an understatement with Oli. He thought of her as the little sister he never had, so he treated her as such, protecting her from me when I was being the biggest dickhead known to man.

Oli gritted his teeth. People passing our bus glanced over and eavesdropped on our conversation. The sun began to set. Warped Tour would be wrapping up soon, and Andromeda would be on her way home to her parents with her baby sisters. “Yer not gonna ask ‘er anyfin’!” Venom engulfed his words. “If yeh do, ‘Ll make sure of Auds knowin’ yeh secret.” I was taken aback with how much Oliver was threatening me, like he really wanted to either destroy my life or keep me from this girl like I actually wanted her over my beautiful family back home.

It was one time when Auds and I were seventeen. One fucking time, and I’ve shamed myself with guilt. That night was not supposed to happen like it did, and I beat myself daily about it ever since. Oli promised me he would never tell Audri because I pleaded with him, almost breaking my own heart in the process, selling my soul to Oliver to never bitch when it came to me listening to him. My voice muffled cries that night, trying to make sense of that situation.

I awoke from a night of rough partying. The pitch black night had already absorbed the sky, allowing no light to penetrate the windows of my house. “Olleh?” My voice, muffled with confusion, bellowed in the large empty living room. I rolled of the couch that our parents owned since the late nineties. A tiny lamp, probably the only thing that wasn’t broken from the night before, illuminated enough light for me to vaguely view a pathway. It felt a bit breezy in the living room. I couldn’t tell why. I groggily searched for my missing brother, suffering from a hangover in the meantime. “Olleh?”

Still nothing. Walking through the trashed living room end up as a near impossible task, but I managed as I listened with intent ears for any signs of, well, anyone that was finally up from last night’s fiasco. Sobbing aroused my ears. The waves of sound floated through the air and just barely climbed in my ears. Red party cups and empty glass bottles bounced off my passing feet. I tried so desperately not to make any sound, afraid that I might wake up anyone that was a light sleeper if they weren’t passed out. Every time a new bottle caressed my warm toes, a shock jolted my spine, causing my entire body to shutter and then resume normal behaviour.

I moved closer to my bedroom, taking great care with every step to not have my awkward and large feet crash down on an unconscious friend whom had abused his liver last night. The sounds were from my room or Oli’s, since mum and dad’s was down the opposite hall. The party we threw for Oli and the band, after finally getting signed to a real record label, quickly reversed itself and gyrated out of our control. “Olleh?” I whispered one last time, peeped my head into my room and saw nothing, but still heard mumbling, crying, and what I believed was begging. What happened last night?

I twisted my head to glace at Oli’s room. My scratchy throat begged me for a drink with every dry gulp of spit that ran down the back of my throat. A light illuminated Oliver’s room. Finally, I had found him. My hands were numb from the cold of the house. “Olleh, wha’ tha’ ‘ell are yeh doin’, mate?” I brashly asked, rushing to his side, only to witness a very shocking, disturbing, and sick scene. Her body laid motionless, minus Oli’s rocking back and forth. He cradled her in his arms, still probably drunk out of his mind because hell, I was still bloody drunk, as well. He pleaded with God to reverse what had happened. I snagged Oli by the shoulders and brought him to his feet, dropping her body with a thunderous thud to the ground.

Traumatized: the only disposition I could even remotely depict on his visage when he figured out it was me. His breathing no longer flowed even like a river. He backed away from me, horrified that I was even around him. Paranoid and speeding, he wailed, “Get back! Don’t get any closer!” He snatched his paintball gun from his filthy room floor. It mirrored the rest of the house: utterly demolished. He cocked the gun and levelled it with my forehead. My hands rocketed in the air, in proof of innocence.

I had no idea what was going on.

Oli snapped me back to reality. His hand residing in front of my face. “So, yeh gonna listen to meh, or do yeh wan’ yeh biggest secret out?” I had no choice, but to oblige. Did I want to? No, but I couldn’t bring myself to already ruin my child’s life with having her mother angry with me during the first few years for a mistake that happened five years prior to her birth. It was too soon to tell her just yet.

“Wha’eva, Olleh, yeh dick’ead.” I eyerolled at him. Sometimes, I just couldn’t stand him, but he saved my neck that night, and I could’ve lost everything. Audri, my freedom, my family, everything. He knew I wouldn’t refuse him, and he thought that he was saving Audri from me. He placed his hand on my shoulder and finally loosened up.

“Now, le’s join back up wiff tha’ rest of tha’ band.”

I nodded, taking full advantage of Oli’s now happier mood to escape him from his next blow up, where honestly, he might melt his own mind, and all of those obsessed little scene girls would all fall over dead because of Oli being dead. I chuckled a bit at the thought of less scene girls. They were disgusting creatures. Colourful hair, everything fucking colourful. Couldn’t they be normal, instead of being little emo whores, who wore the rainbow instead of black? I skipped back up the steps to not only get a great wiff of the most disgusting smell I had ever encountered, but Andra staring viciously at me. What the hell! Is this “Make Tom’s day a living hell” day? I wished for this time to be easier punishment for my bad karma for whatever the hell I’ve done wrong.

Andra’s forests for eyes connected with mine sharply, squinting when I blinked to focus my sky blues. “Yeh owe me something, Sykes, I do believe.” Her voice, on the contrary, was col and smooth. Oh, thank God. I’ve been sick of confrontations since Matt. My eyes dilated. Not that, Tom, you gotta take her to meet You Me At Six. “Well?”

Other than it being very obvious, I glanced at Oli for approval to take her, to which he nodded. He knew the predicament I had gotten myself in with this girl and how I had planned to right my wrong. As I turned my head back in her direction, I observed her plopping right down next to Nicholls, who draped an arm over her. I huffed a slight laugh, as I hid my hurt behind my snide laugh. Goddamn it, Nicholls. Why do you have to be single and attractive in girls’ eyes? My lack of sex appeal annoyed me once more. I cleared my throat after I saw from the corner of my eye her hand gently placed itself on Nicholls’s knee. “Readeh, love?”

I beamed. She nodded, hopping to her feet along with Nicholls. I hid my despite for my own best friend as I asked him if he was also coming along, which he gave a quick nod and linked his arm around Andra’s waist. Micky Picks was always known for jumping into relationships. He assumed since it worked with Nat for a while that it’ll work like that every time. Shit, maybe my plan wasn’t going to work after all.

I walked off the last step to the bus, just in front of Nichols and Andra. They discussed various things ranging from video games and movies to how they would work out their newly found and unstable relationship. I walked in silence, annoyed that she would just jump into a relationship with him. Why not me? Poor Auds. Ever since she got pregnant, I’ve been looking for any reason to leave her. I love Audri Renee, but I no longer wanted to date her. My mind absorbed within my thoughts, the walk was quick. I texted Josh that we were outside. Mick Pickles and Andra were being so playful with each other; it became painful to listen to, ignoring it to the best of my ability.

As soon as Josh opened the bus door, I instantly felt cool down by their air condition, which was actually operational compared to ours, at least. I raced up in the bus. My nose felt relief from the rank smell of the Bring Me bus, which recently has taken the odour of numerous animals dying and defecating all over everything. I twitched when I thought of that and groaned out a bit in disgust. Well, it was the Bring Me bus, but I was the only person who truly detested the smell that overcome our bus. Why didn’t I just ride with Josh and the You Me At Six gang? They cleaned more frequently and didn’t completely gross me out, unlike my brother dearest and his lovely friends.

Coming back to reality, I took the only open seat on the love seat with Josh and Max. Matt, Nicholls, not Barnes, had taken advantage of the moment to introduce everyone, and as he was, she nodded along with him and continued to say that she knew who they were with every member. Jesus, Nicholls, can you be any dafter?

I brought along one of my cameras that had to be reset from it getting water damage but still managed to work perfectly fine. I tinkered from the time we walked on the bus until Josh grabbed my distraught attention. He sympathetically looked at me and asked with a sincere smile, “Yeh all righ’, mate?” I groaned and rolled my eyes while shaking my head. I glanced over at Andra, who immersed Dan Flint’s attention in a conversation, Nicholls still attached to her side.

“It’s noffin’. Jus’ noffin’, mate.” I lied. I lied straight through my teeth. This wasn’t characteristic for me to lie to my friends. The sun fell leisurely. Its rays blended together with the colours of the room and tinted everything with a deep burnt orange hue. The day almost over, we’re here for the night, as this stop was the one of many, but the venue was one of few double stops.

“Tom, yeh don’ ‘ave teh lie teh meh.” Josh’s accent faintly altered from mine, as him and the rest of You Me At Six were from Surrey, a little suburb of London. “Somefin’s botherin’ yeh, an’ it’s betta if yeh jus’ put it out there.” Josh sure was nosey on why I wasn’t smiling today.

“’Er…” I whispered, nodding my head toward Andra. She followed Dan, who I’d assume offered to direct a tour of the bus. It was just Max, Josh, and I now in the front of the bus. Max shifted himself over to the kitchen table, entirely engrossed in whatever video game they brought on tour with them. I fidgeted with my fingers, picking the dirt from under my nails and tearing the loose kin away from the base of my fingernails. I lifted my hand to my face and gnawed a bit on my nails.

Josh gawked at me like he questioned mentally what Andra could have done to me. He grossed his legs loosely, careful not to pinch any of his important parts. I fixated on the video game that Max played and then blankly at my feet. I squirmed around, my fingers almost refusing to leave my yap. “Wha’ she do,” he inquired, “Tha’ American bird. Wha’d she do to make yeh miserable?” I shrugged my shoulders.

Auds and Josh were what I considered best friends, so anything I said never failed to rebound back to Audri. She’s been off her rocker since she discovered she carried the fruit of my loins with her everywhere she went, which I concluded that was the reason I’ve been less attracted to her in recent months. I just wished my Auds was back to her cheeky self and not this hormonal, panicky bitch, whom had swallowed her whole. She wasn’t like this with Oliver, so why now? But, back to my main point, I had to watch my words.

“Dunno, Josh. Jus’ think it’s tha’ lack of attention from Matteh, since ‘e’s been all up ‘er arse when they met.”

Josh coughed up a pint-sized cackle at my excuse, which wasn’t a complete lie. If I flipped the names around, it’d be the complete truth. I lied to myself, my brother, and now a friend because I’m obviously the most ridiculous person on the blasted earth for becoming smitten with a bird, while my bird’s at home with a bun in the oven. Josh caught my attention once more and tells me, “Tom, look at meh.” I raised my sky blues to meet his gaze. It wasn’t angry, nor was it just blank. A pitiful expression adjusted itself on his visage. “Listen, I know yeh lyin’ to meh still. Fer wha’eva reason, yeh feel it necessareh.” His flat tone shifted hardly to almost comforting. At least, it wasn’t confronting me, instead. “Now, why don’ yeh tell meh tha’ truth, brub?”

A lump formed in my throat. I didn’t want to but had to. My lies got me nowhere, and if I persisted with them, I might lose Josh as a friend. I nervously laughed, which only exposed my anxiety even more to Josh, who pushed the topic despite my avoidance. “It’s noffin’, Josh. I promise…” Out of all the excuses that could have emerged from my head, I used that one. Any excuse could’ve been better than that one. God, I’m a bloody dickhead.

“C’mon, Sykes. If it ‘as ta do wiff Auds, I promise not ta tell ‘er.” Josh wasn’t one to go against his word when he makes a promise. At least I knew I could trust him.

“I dunno, Josh. It’s jus’ tha’ fuckin’ bird reminds me of Auds before she got preggehs, mate. I miss tha’ Audri, not this ‘ormonal bitch tha’ ‘as absorbed ‘er,” I confessed, “Was gon’ ask tha’ lass if I could’ve crashed a’ ‘er house fer tha’ nigh’ since we’re ‘ere fer two days in a row.”

Ironic to what I had first predicted as Josh’s reaction to my confession, he started smiling, grinning like. His choppy laugh eventually smoothed out into full out cackling from probably how ridiculous I’m currently sounding. Max stopped his video game only to now listen to Josh witch-cackle at me. Embarrassed, I slid down into my seat, slumping from the laugh that felt more like a verbal beat down than just laughing. “Mate, she’s pregnant; she’s gonna beh psycho until tha’ little Sykes spawn is born, which should beh aneh day now, aye?” I nodded, in agreement, but why wasn’t she this crazy when little Oliver was just a bun in the oven? “As fer tha’ otha bird, jus’ go fer it. Yeh secret’s safe wiff meh.”

Josh laughed as my eyes widened, and a smile finally emerged on my lips for the first time all day. I fixed my posture and shot back up the seat from slouching. I gripped the bottom of my shirt, picking at the hem in it that my mum sewed when I was a teen. Josh nodded his head toward the back. Andra appeared out of the back with Nicholls tickling her sides and her fighting him off. “Jus’ ask ‘er. ‘Ll distract Nicholls. Weh all know yeh need one las’ getaway before yeh seed arrives.” Josh whispered in my ear before jumping to his feet, engaging Nicholls in a conversation about Star Wars, which did just the trick needed to lose track of what’s going on around him. Andra plopped herself right next to me and wrapped her arms around my shoulders.

“Tom, yer such a babe. Thank you so much for this! It truly means more than you could possible imagine.”

Now was my chance to ask her. Nervous as ever, I sat up on the edge of my seat. All of my words jumbled together in my head. How the fuck did this one girl do this to me? Auds didn’t even mess me up this badly! Looking at Andra, who patiently waited for a reply from me, I managed to form some normal words from the English language to use.

“Yeh welcome, love, buh I ‘ave a question for yeh.” She lifted one of her thick, brunette eyebrows. She hummed out a bit before signalling for me to continue. I took notice that she now wore one of the designs from Josh’s clothing line, instead of Oli’s. I inhaled enough air that it might be possible that I overflowed my lungs and drowned my mind in oxygen before I continued. “Can I stay at yeh place fer tha’ nigh’? I know yeh datin’ Nicholls and such, buh I need outta tha’ bus for a nigh’.”

She lifted her dainty hand and bit her right index finger. She lost herself within her thoughts. She stared at the ground blankly. Was this such a hard choice for her? I became inpatient, slowly growing aggravated with time passing. She hunched over slightly, which truly showed how thin she was, even though while standing up, she appeared normal, but hunched over, the vertebrae in her back poked out, laggardly tearing her skin to peek her spine out. Her hand dropped to her side as she spun around with what I assumed was her answer. “It’s fine.” The edges of her lips curled upward, as secretly, I screamed in my head from excitement.