Clarity.

Vic’s POV:

Maybe getting drunk was a bad idea.

I intended to let loose and relax to celebrate being home after such a great tour. It seems that everything was just right. But there was something weighing me down, something that I hated coming to terms with. There was something holding me back from being truly happy.

I looked around me to see all my friends so happy; laughs, smiles, genuine happiness. I wanted that back. I wanted to be truly happy again. I didn’t want to have this constant nagging in the back of my head. I didn’t want to roll out of bed and only pretend that I was fine anymore. I didn’t want to feel this big hole in my chest ache each time I drew in a breath.

I needed to let Cara go.

And that seemed almost impossible to do. I was torturing myself.

How could I just drop everything I shared with the girl? How can I be happy without her being the love of my life? How can I go on knowing that she’s carrying a child that’s not my own, and be okay with it? How could I ever make myself ready to love and be loved ever again? It’s never hurt this bad before. She held my heart so dearly, but even then it slipped through her fingers. It shattered to thousands of tiny pieces on the floor. How could she just throw me away like that?

I had already taken too many shots, but I grabbed the neck of a whiskey bottle and clumsily retreated to my room away from the party. I needed some time to myself.

I threw my head back with the bottle pressed to my lips, downing a large gulp of the whiskey. I set it down on the desk before me, and stared out my dark window over the quiet glow of the moon.

I had to play some music to drown out the noise of the party just outside my door. Their laughter only upset me more.

I reached for my phone, and scrolled over Cara's name. I was getting desperate. My thumb found its way over the dial button and threatened to press it.

I desperately wanted to spill my drunken words over her ears. I wanted to pour out everything that had been weighing me down.

I just wanted to hear her familiar voice that I loved so bad. I wanted to imagine her gorgeous lips sculpting the words they said. I wanted to hear her say my name with her gentle voice. I wanted her to tell me she loved me. I wanted to hear her breath over the line; I miss hearing it just below my ear as she nuzzled into my neck every time we slept.

I wanted her to come over like she always would. I wanted be lazy in bed all day with her like we always did. I wanted laugh with her like we always did. I wanted to make sweets and watch old movies all day like we always did. I wanted to feel her fingers run through my hair while she put me to sleep like she always did. I wanted to sing to her again like I always did. I wanted to tell her I loved her every second I got like I always did. There’s no way he could lover her as much as I do.

I wanted everything to just go back to the way it was. I wanted to beg to have her back. I needed her back. I had to have her back.

My thumb grew tighter over the dial button of my phone.

But I was mad at the randomly selected song my iPod had just chosen. It knew what it would do to me. I didn't want to hear it. But I knew I needed to hear it.

"I know what you said,
and I've been torn apart since the day you left.
I don't think I can
do it again.
So much in my own head,
totally obsessed with the shit you said.
And I don't think I can
do it again.
Battle, my love I will see you in the end.
Carry my heart with you always.
Battle, my love I will see you in the end.
Carry my heart with you ...
How much should I take,
when everything you made you will someday break?
And I don't think I can
build it again.
Too much in my own head,
and I've been torn apart since the day you left.
And I don't think I can
do it again.
Battle, my love I will see you in the end. Carry my heart with you always.
I know what you meant,
and I've been torn apart since the day you left.
I don't think I can
do it again.
Too much in my own head,
totally obsessed with the shit you said.
And I don't think I can
do it again, do it again." ***

I angrily tossed my phone to the floor.

Those were words I needed to hear, since I couldn't seem to gather them myself.

And one last good cry needed to happen.

So it did.

_______the next morning_______

My breath wreaked and my head immediately started pounding when I opened my eyes to the sunlight flooding my room. I was still in my clothes, so I peeled them off my body and tossed them to the corner of my room, only leaving on my boxers.

The only thing I remember about last night was thinking about Cara. Crying about Cara.
Feeling like nothing could ever make it better. I couldn't stop thinking about the girl even when I was shitfaced drunk.

Despite the pounding of my head, and the dryness on my cheeks from crying, I felt a sense of relief. My chest felt lighter. My shoulders seemed to unhunch themselves. I felt like I had been freed from something that had been weighing me down for so long.

I absolutely despise crying. Cara was one of the very few people who could ever bring me to that point.

But I knew last night was the last time I'd ever cry about Cara. I knew last night was the last time I'd ever let what happen hold me back from being happy.

I'm not saying my depression was cured overnight. I'm just saying that last night has allowed me to take an enormous leap in the right direction. Last night needed to happen.

I knew that it was time for me to pick up and move on. It was time for me to accept things for the way that they are.

As bad as I wanted I beg to have her back, even just for a moment, I knew that I couldn't do it again. It's not like I would be able to in the first place, but I knew that I couldn't do it again.

I owed it to myself to stop torturing myself. I needed to move on.

It was time for me to understand that there are things in this life that I can’t change. My mom always told me that life is 10% what happens to you, and 90% what you make of it. It was time for me to make something of it. It was time for me to let her go, and be happy. I had to be happy that the relationship happened. I had to cherish those memories we had together. There isn’t enough time in the world to be so sad about it being over. It was the only way I could free myself from the pain.

There's no doubt that the girl will always carry a piece of my heart wherever the world takes her. And I don't regret that one bit; she was my everything. But I've finally realized that you've gotta go through the wrong ones, no matter how right they seem, to get to the right one. Despite the heartbreak, this leaves me closer to finding the girl that I'll spend forever with, wherever in the world she may be.

But my stomach fluttered at the thought of that, as if I were closer to the one than I thought.

Something told me that the girl was already in San Diego.

Rose’s POV:

I turned over in my bed as my eyes fluttered open, adjusting themselves to the daylight pouring through the window. I eyed the clock; it read 11:43am. That was the longest I’ve slept in what seemed like … ever. I felt refreshed. I didn’t experience my usual nightmare. My body felt at peace.

It was almost time to open the shop for the day, so I headed for the shower. I took about a 10 minute shower, then brushed my teeth and got dressed. I threw on my swimsuit with a pair of shorts and a messy tank top that had its side cut out. I swept my long hair back into a messy ponytail and headed towards the kitchen for a quick snack.

I spread some peanut butter over a plain bagel, and sat at the high standing table in front of my gorgeous bay window. My phone buzzed, rattling slightly across the table. It was a text from Vic. A smile spread across my face.

Buenos días beautiful! :) I hope you slept well. Do you have any plans today?

Good morning handsome. :) I hope you slept at least a little! & no, I don’t. I’m on my way to open the shop in a few, though. You’re more than welcome to stop by.

I put the peanut butter back in its place and grabbed my keys off the counter.

Vic said he’d stop in later today, and offered to take me to the fair that was in town this week. I was pretty excited.

It was a lovely Sunday in San Diego. The sun was shining and a few clouds dotted the sky with a comfortable breeze.

I opened the doors of the shop and propped them open to let in the fresh air and the sound of the ocean.

There wasn’t too much business today. I often found myself blankly staring at random things. I wanted to text Vic, but I didn’t want to seem overbearing, so I decided against it. I would see him soon. I could wait.

I aimlessly surfed the web while customers came in an out of the shop. After cashing out a couple purchasing some t-shirts, I remembered something.

Is it weird if I research Vic’s band? What if I find out something I didn’t want to know? I didn’t want to have any preconceived notions about the boy. I wanted things to be natural. If he wanted me to know something, he would tell me. Right? That’s how these things work.

But my curiosity got the best of me. I typed ‘pierce the veil’ into the Google Search bar. It was too tempting to resist.

The band’s website was the first result. There were tons of pictures of the four. Magazine covers, photo shoots, the whole nine yards. Vic’s band was obviously hot shit. They had tours set all over the fucking globe. It was unbelievable. I honestly hate to admit that I had little faith that his band was so successful.

I eventually wound up looking at a list of their music videos. At the top of the list was one titled “King for a Day.” I clicked it, my curiosity taking full force.

I chuckled at the scene of Vic being in a suit. The music was heavier than I expected. And Vic’s voice was … higher than I expected. But it worked. It worked beautifully if I do say so myself.

I clicked on several more videos between customers coming into the shop. It was really awesome seeing Vic being so passionate about something. I could really see in his eyes that he loves every minute of what he does.

I decided to stray away from any interviews or tabloids or anything like that. I wanted to find out everything about him myself. And that process would start tonight as the fair.

I saw that 4:30pm had already rolled around. I stepped outside the doors to see very little movement on the shore. Everybody must already be at the fair or something. It was really unusual having a slow Sunday. I decided I’d take the opportunity to go surf before Vic dropped by.

I grabbed my board from the wall near the entrance of the shop it was leaning on and closed the doors behind me, placing a ‘be back soon’ sign on the door. I tucked away a spare key and headed towards the water.

The sea was really calm today. It was perfect. I drew in a long breath of the salty air, then peeled my shorts and tank top from my body. I took off into the water and surfed my little heart out. I toppled off my board after I noticed a figure had been watching me. Vic was here.

Vic’s POV:

I walked around the side of the shop and saw a ‘be back soon’ sign posted. I figured that she may have gone to grab a bite to eat or something. As I turned towards the ocean I saw her familiar figure out in the distance. She was out surfing.

I watched as she fearlessly took on the waves. She sailed across them so easily and comfortably. Her strong legs guided her as she did flips off of large waves. She really looked like she was enjoying herself. She was really good at it, too.

I sat down in the sand, not wanting to interrupt her fun. Not that she’d be able to hear me over the sound of the waves anyway. I watched her as she surfed for about 15 minutes. Finally she looked towards the shore and toppled off of her board when she noticed me. She stood up and started to make her way towards me. I stood up and gave her a quick wave, and she waved back, flashing her gorgeous smile at me.

“Hey rockstar,” She called over the sound of the waves as she neared me.

“Why, hello shark bait.” I teased back as I brought her in for a hug.

“Shark bait?” She questioned as she pulled away from the hug and looked me in my eyes. Man, those eyes.

“You heard me! You’re gonna get gobbled up one day!” I replied jokingly as we both sat down back in the sand. She placed her board behind her.

She laughed at my new nickname for her and swept her soaked hair away from her face. She folded her arms and placed them over her bent knees.

“How’s your day been?” She said.

“Ah, nothing special. Excited to spend the evening with you, though.” I said through a smile.

She turned to me, her smile still plastered on her face.

“I’m really excited too!” She uttered. “I haven’t been the fair since I was a little girl.”

“Are you serious? I go every year! The cotton candy is to die for.” I said. Just then a flood of memories of going to the fair with Cara filled my mind.

Breathe, Vic. Breathe.

“I love cotton candy! Maybe I’ll win you a prize, rockstar.” She said with a wink and a laugh.

“Hey now, that’s my job!”

“Bet you can’t do it!” She said, teasing me.

“Oh, you just wait, Shark Bait. You just wait. I got mad skills, yo. I’ve got years of experience under my belt, mind you.” I said jokingly.

“We’ll see if you live up to that then rockstar. You’re really working up quite a list to prove to me.” She said, referring to our deal we’d made yesterday.

“Get your pen ready, girl. I’ll check off that entire list soon enough.” I said through a chuckle.

She laughed and refocused her view towards the ocean.

“You’re really good at surfing.” I said, breaking the silence.

“Aw, thank you.” She said, turning back towards me with a smile.

“How long have you been at it?”

“For as long as I can remember.” She said, trailing off. “The ocean is everything to me.”

“That’s beautiful. You sound like you could talk about it for hours.”

“I could. I really could. There’s a whole sea of things that make it so important to me. No pun intended.” She said, chuckling at the last bit of her sentence.

“I’d love to listen one day. If you ever want to talk about it.” I said empathetically.

Her smile returned to her face and her eyes seemed to get brighter after I said that. Even though I didn’t know her all that well, I wanted her to know that I cared. And I really do care.

“Well let’s get outta here rockstar. I’m ready for the fair!” She sad, standing up quickly and pulling me up with her.

She was so adorable. I was more than ready to spend the rest of the evening with her.