The Bride and Her Bloodlust

I was knelt before Arnold’s grave with my brow furrowed and my fists balled. He still hadn’t returned home and my faith in him was wavering.

I gritted my teeth in irritation. I had to continue to hope he’ll come back. He may only just be born and not yet close to remember who and what he is. I clung on to that thought. I wanted to see him again and thank him for what he did. If he hadn’t protected Alphonse and I, we’d both be dead.

I sighed heavily and stood, breathing in the warm spring night air. I thought of Ella and what I would tell Arnold if he did return. Would he be disappointed in me for not protecting her? Would he be proud that, despite losing her and her son, I managed to slay Miriam and help stop that maddening poison? I wasn’t sure. I didn’t usually know what he was thinking. He often confused me, even when he was dead. It was then, as I thought moodily to myself, I heard the squall of a child.

Alphonse came trotting down the path holding my child in his arms. His eyes were warm as he dotted over his cousin and he held her protectively in his arms. Eva had been right. The moment he had heard I was pregnant two years ago and that the child was in need of protection, his grief died down. He latched onto the thought that his cousin needed every able body to protect her and keep her safe. It was what he needed to batter aside the dominating thoughts of taking his life and joining Ella and James. I had never seen Lucius look so relieved and happy.

“Susan, Alma’s been calling for you.” He said happily as he came to my side.

He handed over the small child into my rigid arms. She was wrapped up in the wool blanket Mo had made for her and clutched on to a small toy. She stared up at me, her eyes wide and dark like her father’s. She even had his black mop of hair. But she had my Matter. I could feel it within her, swirling around, tiny and weak. It made me a little jealous that she could have her Matter free while mine was under lock and key again.

“She’s growing slowly.” Alphonse said as he watched us. “But she’ll be strong. Augusta has promised to train her when she’s ready so she’ll have a tutor.”

I nodded. Augusta had been adamant that Alma needed her as a tutor. Neither Lucius nor I went against it but Augusta didn’t leave much argument.

“She’ll need me to help her learn to shift and teach her of the venom. I learned this alone and it was scary and lonely. I don’t want Alma to feel like I did when I was growing up.” Augusta had said.

I was pleased that so many wanted a hand in Alma’s life. Alphonse acted as her babysitter and guardian. Augusta was her tutor. Eva was her shield against the Clans. And everyone else had pledged to protect her. Vincent, Elizabeth, Augusta’s mate Alexis and her son Eugene, even little Pyotr. All would help me keep her safe. Every member in this house had also promised to be silent over me being her mother to the outside world and promised not to breathe a word of what she was. It was vital Alma was kept hidden and, before she was even born, she had a small army willing to die for her.

But even so, I still wasn’t quite mother material. I didn’t coo over her or mollycoddle her. I spoke brusquely and grew irritable when I couldn’t work out why she was crying so much. I was thankful Lucius seemed to know what he was doing. He’d always pick her up and speak softly to her or sing, lulling her to sleep. It annoyed me that he knew what he was doing and I couldn’t grasp the basics.

Alma smiled at me, showing several tiny teeth. She was a little over one years old now, tiny and pale as the snow.

“What did you want from me?” I asked her as she continued to grin. I knew she would be trying to grab my hair with her arms were free of the blanket.

“She just wants you.” Alphonse answered, not really giving me the answer I had hoped.

“Well I had better take her inside. She’s not quite a dhampir yet. The cold will bite her.” I grumbled.

With one last glance at Arnold’s grave, I made to leave the maze of roses and markers. I had expected Alphonse to follow me but he remained.

“I’m going to see Ella and James.” He said thickly.

A shadow of sadness had taken his face now. No matter how much reason Alma had given him, that dark sorrow was never going to leave it. It clung to him like another skin, eating away at him slowly. I wondered if one day it would destroy him. I hoped not. I hoped he would find another lady who would love him like he needed and filled some of the void Ella and James’ deaths and left in him.

“Do you want me to go with you?”

“No, take Alma inside. I will see them alone. I want to have a talk with them.”

“Well alright but come inside soon.”

Alphonse promised he would and turned to venture further into the maze, finding the graves of his mate and son with a heavy heart.

Alma chattered, reminding me of her presence as my thoughts dwelled on my old friend and last sister. I readjusted Alma, making sure she was comfortable, and made my way through the gardens of my home. The voices of the youngsters clamoured about the warm air as they drifted out of open windows or echoed from deeper in the darkness. A couple spotted me and waved to Alma before they turned to whatever pranks or mischief they were up to.

As soon as I stepped into the house I was mobbed by Mo. My old friend was standing in the hall, waiting for my arrival, and her eyes lit up when she saw me. She waddled over to me while waving a small brightly coloured hat in her hand.

“I finished it.” She announced proudly and shoved it on Alma’s head.

It was made with the same thick blue wool as the blanket but was a little large and covered half of her eyes. Even so, Alma giggled happily.

“There. Now her head won’t get cold.” Mo said happily. “Her hair is growing slow so this should keep her head warm.”

“She won’t catch a cold just yet and we’re moving into summer now. The air is getting warmer.”

Mo pulled a face of disapproval. “You’re completely unaware of the cold so let me judge if it’s warm enough for her.”

I sighed sharply. Everyone wanted to have a hand in raising her. “Fine.”

Mo smiled. “The Master is wanting to see you by the way. You have a guest.”

I groaned. I wasn’t in the mood to welcome anyone but it was obvious this guest was a friend to us. Lucius would never want me near him in front of someone who could potentially turn me into an enemy.

“I take it it’s not important. He’s not called me.” I replied as I felt the link between us. He was calm and warm with no inclination to call to me at all.

“It isn’t. He’s a friend and one he is happy talking with for a while.” Mo said and linked her arm in mine as she touched Alma’s new hat. “It’s good to see another life in the house.” Mo commented as we made our way down the hall. “We lost so many over the years.”

“I know.” I replied softly as I stared down at my daughter. She was ogling my face as she always did, as if it was the first time she had seen me.

“Well it won’t be long until I die off.”

I shot a scowl at Mo. “Don’t say that.”

Mo shrugged. “I am getting old. One day I’ll pass on. But I am glad you have so many around you now who live longer than ninety years.” She smiled and patted my back. “When the time comes, I’ll feel comfortable in leaving you unlike I once did. When you turned, I was worried you would be lonely in your long years. I can see you won’t be now though.”

I grunted unhappily, not wanting to think of the day Mo would die. I hoped she had a good for years left in her but I had thought that about Ella. Anything could happen so I would try to protect my last human friend as best as I could.

Mo shuffled forward when we reached the door to Lucius’ study. I could feel Lucius stirring in the link, reaching out to welcome me with affection and welcoming tenderness. A smiled a little as I entered the room, letting my gaze sweep to his seat.

Lucius sat languidly with his feet on his desk. He grinned brightly when he saw me and his smile grew even wider when he saw the bundle in my arms. I could instantly feel the desire in him to hold Alma, to check she was okay. His need to cuddle Alma made me smile inside. At least one of us knew how to be a parent and loved doing it.

Mo closed the door and kept out of the way with hands clasped in front of her neatly. I nodded, keeping my face blank, at the man in the room. His eyes were sharp behind his glasses and he stank of tobacco. But it was the Matter I felt within him that always made me wary of him. Warlocks were rare and incredibly powerful. While I did trust him, knowing he could slay all of us in this room without much effort didn’t sit well with me.

“So Eugene was our guest.” I commented as I approached Lucius, passing Alma into his waiting arms.

“Yes.” Eugene answered happily.

“He’s brought a gift for Alma.” Lucius told me as he kissed my hand then turned his attention to Alma and touched her cheek. “A gift she can’t use yet but a very useful one.”

“Mother and I have been working on it for a good while. We intended for it to be for Alma’s first birthday but we couldn’t get it done in time.” Eugene indicated to the long black case on Lucius’ desk. “Have a look. We want you to be the one to decide if they’re good enough. Lucius doesn’t really understand what he’s looking at.”

With knitted brows, I came to Eugene’s side and pushed open the case. I was surprised by what I saw nestled in the box.

A long witch-blade sat within it. It was intricately designed with blue and gold woven into the handle and the sheath. It was a beautiful blade. I was surprised to see only one pistol though. It matched the sword and appeared to have two barrels. I picked it up, eyeing it curiously.

“Augusta only has enough Matter for a single witch-gun, not two.” Eugene explained. “Alma may have a similar limitation in her Matter.”

It made sense and Augusta knew more about a dhampir’s Matter than I did so I trusted her judgement.

“They’re well made. I didn’t realise Augusta was a smith.”

“She had help from her old Family. She may have been banished but they won’t ignore her. They were more than willing to teach her.”

“Well these are well made.” I said as I tested the blade, pulling it out of its sheath and weighing it in my hand. “Not too heavy and balanced. I take it can accept Matter.”

To answer my question, Eugene took the blade and let his own Matter fill it. The blade hummed with strength. “We’ve tested it several times.” He sheathed it and placed it next to the pistol. “Are they okay?”

I glanced up at Lucius who was watching us curiously while Alma fiddled with the buttons of his shirt. “I think they’re fine.” He said.

“I’m in agreement.” I turned to Mo who had crept forward, curious about the weapons. “Can you put them somewhere safe? Alma can’t have them until she’s matured.”

Mo smiled as Eugene locked up the case with the weapons safe inside. “I can. I’ll put them in my room. I’ll keep them locked up there.”

I thanked her and Mo scuttled off, carrying the massive case with her. Eugene watched her, his eyes showing his thoughts of helping, before Lucius spoke.

“Thank you for the gift. Alma will no doubt love them when she’s grown.”

“I hope she does.” Eugene replied in a low tone. “Augusta survived by being raised by witches. Alma may not be so lucky.”

“She has a Clan willing to protect her.” She said sharply as I puffed out my chest, unhappy by his doubts in our ability to care for my daughter.

Eugene smiled weakly. “I know but she will constantly be around those who would take advantage of her or want to hurt her. If any one of them got a whiff of what she was, her life will become very difficult.”

I was growling, my lips slowing uncovering my pointed teeth while I clenched my fists. Lucius stepped in though, smothering my mind in a tender loving embrace to calm me.

“We know, Eugene. It’s risky. But I sent Augusta away when she was a child because of Morrigan. I was scared of not knowing what Augusta was and of Morrigan finding out that she was a witch child. Now Morrigan that is dead, I have no reason to send Alma away. I know Augusta has offered to raise Alma, to act as an aunt and protector, but I have lost too many members recently. I want Alma close to me and I want to raise her myself. She may be the only child I’ll ever with Susan after all.”

Eugene was silent and my snarling had muted. Eventually, Eugene nodded and backed down.

“Her offer will always be there. If you ever need her or me to care for Alma, just ask.” He pushed his glasses up his nose and smiled widely. “I’ll head off now. My task is done. Call me if you need anything.”

Lucius promised he would and Eugene turned a left, closing the door firmly behind him. I hissed at the door, irritated that Eugene didn’t have much confidence in us.

“He’s just looking out for Alma and so is Augusta. That’s all.” Lucius said with some laughter in his tone as he gazed at my rigid form. “Alma is important after all.”

“I know.” I hissed. “But we can take care of her. I have slain Morrigan on my own and we have dissolved the threat to the Old World together. We can deal with anything.”

“If only everyone had the self-confidence you do.” Lucius waved to me, urging me to come closer as Alma reached out for me. I grudgingly stepped closer and let him take my hand. Alma held onto my finger, warming it quickly. “Alma will be fine.” He reassured me. “But don’t be afraid to send her away if danger draws too close.”

I grumbled an agreement and he tugged me closer. He reached up and touched my cheek, tracing the scars Morrigan had left me and the new ones Miriam had inflicted on my neck. My body was a mess now and, while I didn’t care, it bothered Lucius. He felt guilt for letting me take the burden of the threat on my own and for what his mother had done to me. It was daft.

I stared down at him as he eyed my skin and scars. He hadn’t changed at all in the years I have known him. His remained lovingly dark and his hair was thick and black, only shorter than he used to wear it. His jaw was strong, his neck long and his mouth wonderfully kissable. He was a joy to a look at and, over the years, this now sat okay with me.

Alma babbled loudly, disturbing our silent gaze. Lucius cradled her close, nuzzling her nose softly, before he sharply pulled my head down. His mouth met mine hard, demanding a kiss from me he knew he was going to get. It was annoyingly brief though. Even as we grew more demanding and our desire began to grow, Alma got bored. She tugged at my hair hard.

I simply grunted at the pair she inflicted and quickly detached her hand from my hair. She did this much too often. “No, Alma. I’ve told you before, no pulling.”

Alma only giggled, not at all intimidated by me. I sighed irritably.

“Go rest. I’ll look after her for a while.” Lucius said as he pulled Alma’s hat further over her face, making her laugh.

I grunted in agreement. There were some things I wanted to do. Sharpening up my blade and cleaning my gun was one of them. I swiftly kissed Alma while she remained blind and placed another on Lucius’ mouth. It was hard to ignore the desire to turn it into something more but I managed to pull myself away from him.

“Have fun.” I said flatly, knowing full well he was going to enjoy taking care of Alma.

He hummed at me while Alma waved awkwardly. “I’ll come find you later.”

I turned to head for the door, placed my hand firmly on the handle then turned to face my mate and my child. I watched them for a moment as they chatted to each other. A brief thought came to my mind, one that filled me with dread. It was the thought of losing them. It terrified me and filled me with a great twisting sorrow. For that one brief moment, I understood why Alphonse struggled with having lost Ella and James. He lost his whole family. His life.

Lucius turned to me, giving me a worried look, but I simply pressed a warm feeling across the link as I left the room, letting him know I was okay and he returned it hesitantly. I glowed with a well hidden warmth, eyeing my daughter and mate on last time before I left them be and marched off deeper into the noisy house, feeling content with my life as I hid my smile beneath my mask of indifference, revealing in the affection and love in Lucius’ mind.

But, back then when I was still young, I never realised what Alma meant to me. I loved her as a daughter of course but, while Lucius was the thing that gave me life, Alma gave me an end. That’s how vital she was to my existence. I couldn’t see it when she was just a baby, pulling at my hair and being a nuisance, but when the darkness comes for me, when I am old and soulless with innocent blood dripping from my sword, she would be there, guiding me to the light and to Lucius’ warm embrace once again.

Years would pass before this would be known to me. Years of peace and war. Years of life and death. Years of standing beside Lucius, loving him, guarding him, as we watched Alma grow. Years of taking hundreds of ugly wounds and scars to protect my family.

My Alma. My daughter. My reaper. My end. My mortality.

When the time comes, don’t hesitate. End me. It’s what you were born to do.