I'll Never Be Good Enough

"...So long story short, I can't play for a week at least." I finished saying to Matt, Zack, Rian and the rest of the crew.

"How many shows were we meant to play this week Matt?" Zack asked.

"Three, plus two interviews," Matt replied, "But this gives us a slight problem."

"Interviews I can still do. Having a bandaged arm doesn't stop me talking."

"Unfortunately." Rian muttered.

"Hey!" I exclaimed, throwing a cushion at him, "But the fans are going to ask why I've got a bandaged arm. What am I going to say?"

"You could always hide it, under those long-sleeved t-shirts of yours." Zack suggested.

"Hm. Maybe. But if it comes up, I'll just say that I hurt myself. They know how much of a klutz I am."

Alex laughed, "That's true.”
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Jack... Cut."

I shivered and got out of my bunk and padded across to Alex's. I shook him until he opened an eye blearily.

"What?" He said, his voice rough from sleep.

"He came back. Can I sleep here?" I asked, moving from foot to foot in an attempt to keep myself warm.

"Mm-hm." He lifted the cover and I slid in next to him, his arm wrapping around my waist, pulling me into him.

I shifted my left arm until it was comfartable. Just before I fell asleep I heard Alex mutter,

"Jack, I love you, more than a best friend should, but I don't care."

I fell asleep, my mind going blissfully blank.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
When I woke up the next morning, I was spooning with Alex. His arms were looped around me tightly and he was breathing on the back of my neck. I was comfy.

Then I remembered he'd said he loved me. I lay there, trying not to move in case I woke Alex. He loved me?

Why isn't that as weird as I thought it might be? Wait, I'd thought about Alex loving me before?

But it made sense, now that I thought about it. Why he was so worried when he first saw my gash; why he'd cried when he found out about my cutting; why he was the first one at my side when I'd reopened my wound; why he'd pushed through his fear of hospitals; he loved me.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After taking a shower, which is hard when you've got a bandage can't get wet, I got dressed and went into the front lounge, where Rian, Zack, Alex and Matt were discussing how they were going to do the shows without me.

"Well, we could always cancel the shows." Matt suggested.

This suggestion was shot down instantly by the other three. And I can't blame them. Yes, the fans would understand, but that wasn't the point. The fans got us to where we are now, if we back out of a show, we aren't giving them what their payment is, essentially.

"Matt, we can't quit a show. The fans got us to where we are now." Alex said.

It didn't surprise me that Alex had been having the same thoughts. Maybe we'd been best friends for too long.

"Alex is right Matt, we can't quit." Zack said. Rian nodded his agreement.

"Would it really be that hard for me to play at least one show?" I asked. They looked over to me, evidently they didn't hear me come in.

"Well, it depends on whether you can actually manage to play your guitar." Zack said.

"I could always try, can't I?"

As soon as the comment was out of my mouth, Zack had gone from the room. A few minutes later he came back, holding my guitar. He handed it to me and went to sit back down.

Cautiously, I slipped the strap over my shoulder and moved my left arm up to grip the neck of the guitar.

"Ow, shit, fuck." I said, sliding the guitar off me and leaning it against the sofa.

"That rules out any playing." Matt said.

"Damn."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Danny was doing reasonably well, doing my job. I held a roll of toilet paper in my right hand. I was stood at the side of the stage, just out of sight of the fans.

As "Shameless" came to an end, I threw the toilet paper onstage, hitting Alex on the head. I laughed.

He looked at me and ran over. He dragged me onstage. The screams of the crowd increased. I grinned.

I put my arm over his shoulders, pulling him closer. Alex looked at me quizzically, raising an eyebrow.

I smirked, knowing he had no idea what I was about to do. I moved my right hand up to cup his chin and his eyes widened. I slowly pressed my lips to his. Our lips moved in unison for a minute and then I pulled away.

The crowd was screaming their lungs out in appreciation of the kiss. I grinned again and went offstage.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"What was that?" Alex asked, after the show.

I looked up from the television I was watching to be faced with a wet and topless Alex. I'm not complaining, wait, wait, wait, WHAT?

Since when do I like seeing Alex topless, I thought. My eyes absent-mindedly followed a droplet of water slide down, over his collarbone, and slowly trickled down across his flat, taut stomach. I licked my lips, how I would like to slowly lick all the way from his collarbone to his dick. Mmm...

"Er... Jack?" Alex said, waving a hand in front of my face.

"Huh? What?" I spluttered, my eyes fixing on his.

"I asked, Jack, what was that?"

"What was what?" I said.

"The kiss onstage."

"Oh that."

"Yes that." He said, sitting next to me, our thighs brushing against each other.

"The fans love the whole 'Jalex' thing, so I thought I'd play along." I explained.

I wasn't entirely concentrating on our conversation, being more than a little distracted by our legs touching.

"Fair enough. Are you gonna do that for the rest of the shows?" Alex asked.

"Might do." I said, shrugging, trying not to seem too eager. I would love to kiss his soft lips again.

"Ok."