They're Better off Without You

Why hello all! It's purple Paul here.

Wow that sounded extremely fucking bad I'm never going to say that again.
I'm sure you're now wondering why the fuck I just called myself 'purple Paul'. I will tell you...

I am the rhythm guitarist in a band called Nightfall. Basically we all have assigned colours. Like Slipknot have numbers, yeah? Well us here in Nightfall, have colours.

Colours.

c o l o u r s.

It sort of works it's way into our merch well though. For example, we have a plain black t shirt that just reads our logo on it. HOWEVER, the writing varies in 5 colours; red, yellow, purple, blue and green. Some of our other merch is like that too, such as the little rubber bands you get and stuff. It's all in good fun.

So yeah. Alice is red, Dustin is yellow, Davey is blue, Ash is green and I'm left with purple.

PURPLE!

It's a fucking scandal I tell you! They're plotting against me. I begged Alice to swap with me but damn that girl takes no shit from anyone. She said to me, and I quote:

"Take your fucking whining, and shove it up your arse Paul."

HARSH, RIGHT?

I also asked for orange but apparently that "clashes with red."

Bullshit.

Basically they all just ignored me when I ranted, so I learned to deal with the purple and we moved on.

I don't need to tell you guys what I look like you can look at the fucking picture, right?

Yeah that's right, bask in my beauty.

I should give this shit up and become a male model to be honest. God I'm painfully unfunny.

I don't like broccoli. Apparently sometimes it can cause mental health problems if you eat copious amounts of it. I read that somewhere and I can't remember where now...

My favourite band are Breaking Point or Desolated.
I like Neck Deep, Basement and The Story So Far too.

I like playing Runescape but I only really seem to bake bread on it I'm not really sure how you play it properly.

Hey, I best be off. I'm gonna visit Alice to see if she's okay. Sorta worried.