The Lost Angel

Days and weeks passed by quickly and the next thing I knew- my leg is healed but no Cullen tried to interact with me further.

Aunt Jenna was starting to worry.

I slumped down one morning on a seat in front of her in our kitchen. “What are you thinking about, Katherine?” she asked looking at me confused and shocked that I even got out of my room- on a Saturday.

“I wanna go out.” I mumbled my confidence from before faltering after realizing how stupid my mind is working.

“Where?”

“I want to buy new sneakers.. Mine are worn out.” I lied feebly looking up at her. “Can I go to Port Angeles?”

“Alone?” she sputtered out looking at me misbelieving. Damn. “No.”

“Am I under house arrest?”

Aunt Jenna looked like a fish out of water as her mouth. “No.” she finally answered.

I sighed a bit exasperated, “So, can I please go?”

“On your own?”

I nodded. To hell with it anyway- it’s not as if I don’t have a death wish already.

Aunt Jenna sighed, “You are just like your father, Katherine. You’re not a very good liar.” She commented before slapping an envelope on the countertop with the logo of an air carrier company stamped on top of it.

Well, to hell with it.

“I just want to visit them..” I mumbled feeling empty again as I remembered my plan and that it’s unsuccessful, and a fluke. “Please..” And, I don’t know why but I suddenly felt broken. Too broken in fact that my voice broke from plea.

My aunt sighed and reached out to touch my hand from above the counter, “You could have asked me truthfully..”

I bit my lip. Could I have asked her truthfully without her barring me on my room? She had done so after I contemplated that I saw my father saving me on that river a few weeks ago- she almost sent me to a shrink. “I want to do this.. Alone..”

And I do. I want to see them alone. I want to stay at my family’s mausoleum alone with no one else to see me have a breakdown because, honestly, I have never felt this alone ever since my family died. And, if I don’t get to see them, I would go insane.

“You can’t- with the killer still not found-“

I sucked in a deep breath. Justice has still not been served for my family and I had been to self-absorbed to even think about it.

Sighing, I nodded. “Ok..” I trailed off before silently making my way upstairs again.

“Katherine..” I turned around as I was on the middle step and saw Aunt Jenna standing at the bottom with an apologetic smile on her face. “Let’s go to Port Angeles.. I know a very good ice cream shop..”

“Ice cream sounds good.”

But Aunt Jenna seemed to have known me better in this state and added, “I promise we’ll go to Rochester.. You and I..”

I nodded before continuing my way to my room to change my clothes. But, as I was pulling my blouse above my head, a thought occurred inside my head. How the hell did Aunt Jenna got that envelope?

My mouth dropped open and I almost smacked my forehead on my drawer trying to look for the same piece of envelope I had hid at the bottom of it strategically- but found none. Something is wrong. Something is terribly wrong and someone is in my room and someone is watching me.

Paranoia engulfed me again and I ran downstairs stumbling and almost falling down the stairs. Wait. Don’t be stupid, Katherine. Maybe the Cullens knew and was just protecting you from doing something irrational.

I blanched. Yeah. Those vampires that didn’t even bother talking to me or even ask if I was alright or not and the sad truth is that I miss them.

*Or just Edward.*

I had a walked in on the wall with that thought. “Whoa there.” Aunt Jenna smiled grabbing my arm and pulling me up before examining my forehead. “Are you alright? You seem out of it..”

“Do I?” I mumbled and the sarcasm nearly unleashed its unwanted head. “I was just thinking. Sorry.”

Aunt Jenna smiled, “Ice cream will make you feel better.”

I sure hope so.

The trip to Port Angeles was relatively silent but it was comfortable. Aunt Jenna would comment here and there about things and would ask me about school and friends- which I apparently had none, I realized after she asked. Well, maybe I was just used to having no one that I’m more comfortable being alone.

But still continue to miss those hazardous to my and Aunt Jenna’s well being.

She also asked me about Andrea whom had formed this group against me and it was all too quick and the next thing I knew the gossip that I got a panic attack and attacked Andrea during the accident night was circulating around school and that I got a new nickname- Freak. But, I didn’t tell Aunt Jenna, of course. I couldn’t burden her with me being bullied.

However, with all that’s happening, I couldn’t admit that I was being overwhelmed by all of it. I couldn’t admit and couldn’t tell anyone that there are times that I can’t handle it anymore. With the pain, loss, rejection, and judgments, sometimes I just want to die. Really. As any other angst filled teenager, I guess having had gone through all of this would have been enough.

I can’t give up. No, I’m stronger than this.

Maybe I just can’t seem to figure out what the world has against me.

The ice cream parlor is full of kids. A nursery song was playing at the background and toddlers were running around. The place was full of laughter- happiness but my stomach felt heavy and I felt sick. The children reminded me of my brother.

*You are brave..* My mother’s voice echoed inside my head and I breathed in deeply and braced myself as we sat on a booth.

Aunt Jenna cautiously peered at me trying to be conspicuous as she read the menu. “Are you alright?” she asked clueless to the effect the environment is having on me.

I cleared my throat before focusing on my menu.

After finishing my vanilla sundae which is creatively served in a small jar with chocolate syrup, I felt kind of ok and almost smiling but then Aunt Jenna’s phone rang and she smiled at me apologetically before answering it.

“Yes.. Uh huh.. I’m currently out with my niece.. I thought it was my day off?” Aunt Jenna scowled but her sweet voice remained. “Ok.. I’ll drop by.”

Her face was disappointed when she spoke to me again. “Can we go to the hospital? The head nurse needs me..” she mumbled and I nodded in understanding. I mean, why would I be a nuisance to her career?

“It’s ok.” I reassured Aunt Jenna who stared at me cautiously. “The ice cream made me feel better.” I smiled genuinely and Aunt Jenna smiled back brightly.

On our way back, we passed by the bridge the accident happened in and I almost flinched. Good thing I can hide my feelings very well. By the time we reached the hospital, I was nearly on the verge of being a recluse once again.

“This won’t take long..” Aunt Jenna said leaving me in the car and jogging to the entrance of the hospital.

I breathed out and frowned wanting to be back in my room again. But, something or someone standing by the group of trees beside the hospital caught my sight and I gasped.

Cold washed over me and my mouth dropped on a silent scream. His face never changed but he’s pale with red blood eyes. His image is clear from my memory. I remember him very well.

He disappeared in a blink of an eye.

My hand fumbled with the door handle opening it and stumbling out, running to the front door of the hospital. My heartbeat thudded inside my chest and I can’t keep my composure. I can’t keep calm.

I can hear the screams of my brother and mother in my head. Their bloody bodies flashed through my mind.

“Katherine.” A worried musical voice rang behind me as I stood in the middle of an aisle. “What’s wrong?”

My breaths are shallow as Carlisle Cullen went near me. “He’s here.” I wheezed in panic and his face furrowed. He can’t understand. He doesn’t know. “He’s here.” My mind didn’t register as I gripped his white scrubs in tightly in my hand.

His face was worried and his pale complexion reminded me how that man looked- how the man who killed my family looked. “Who?” Carlisle asked lightly shaking me.

But I was too far gone.

“He killed my family.. He's like you..”

The panic won. Everything went black.