Sequel: Confession ›
Toxic
Chapter 10
-Dan's POV-
I woke up once again to a loud banging, I looked around and spotted Phils tetris clock glowing in the corner, who would be banging on my door at 3.14 in the morning, I stumbled throught the dark my head spinning from lack of sleep, I wrenched the door open,
"DAN!"
My eyes shot open in shock as I realized Phils mum was stood oposite me, a feeling of worry and unease suddenly chewed on my stomach
"Whats wrong? mrs Lester why are you crying? wheres Phil?"
"Can I come in?" I nodded still frantic "Dan sweetheart sit down, we need to talk"
"Please tell me Phils okay please"
I was now begging tears streaming down my face
"I can't tell you Phil is okay"
She replied her voice growing thick
"What? why?"
"Dan he's in hospital, he's in the ICU"
"No" I whispered "He'll be fine" I said as my sobs grew louder
"Look hunny I'm on my way there now did you want to come with me?"
I nodded quickly and pulled my clothes on including Phils purple lion hoodie. and followed his mum down to her black land rover.
We drove in silence down many roads before pulling in to the hospital car park, I let myself out and ran in to the recption area
"Phil Lester"
"top floor room two"
I ran everything rushing through my mind guilt clawing away at my insides, why did I let him go? why didnt i send him straight home to his parents? Now he's fighting for life and its my fault.
I sprinted up several flights of stairs in a way making me glad I lived in an appartment block these stairs where nothing compaired to mine and Phils.
I found room two and quietly pushed the door open, there he was a fragile drug addled wreck relying on machines to keep him alive, his arms where cut and scarred his old habits had come back the habts we had worked so hard to get through together, his normally thick shiny hair was lank and unclean, his smooth skin dull with a slight shine, his cheek bones where clearly visible as where his collar bones and ribs, his lips where dry and visibly chapped, I silently climbed on to the bed next to him and rested my head gently on his chest I let out a loud sob,
"PHIL!"
I continiued to let out loud anguished sobs until I had no more energy left to do so, I closed my eyes and listened to his soft and slow heartbeat sniffling and cuddling in to him,
"I'm so sorry Phil I am please wake up please I need you the world needs you please don't go, not with out me please"
I didn't get a response and lay there quietly with only his mums slight sniffling and the occasional bleep of his heart monitor to be heard.
Days began to blur together and I remained in the hospital with him only occasionally leaving in order to get him packs of square crisps and a bottle of coke just incase he was hungry when he woke up. I hoped reading to him would get a response so I sat reading him his favourite magazine articles for hours at a time.
I began to drift off in the chair several nights after Phil had been admited only to be woken by the door squeaking open I looked around sat bolt upright still squeezing Phils hand looking around for the nurse who usually checked on Phil in the evenings only to see Summer stood by the door
"Hey Danny"
"Get out!"
"Dan please you don't understand"
"Leave now he doesn't want you here go!"
"Oh did he tell you that?" she spat "Now hear me out! before you start having a go at me and trying to blame me this isn't my fault he was just so sad from losing you he had been talking about suicide for a while and I left to go meet a friend I came back and he was already gone, this is your fault Dan"
"No it's not" My heart broke in to as did my head not knowing whether to believe her, he had been my best friend for years but now it felt like I didn't even know him "This isn't my fault Summer it's yours! you are the dirty tramp how got him in to the fucking drugs, you are the one who took him from his family and you are the one who left him to get in to this state now I suggest you take your cheap slutty looking ass out of this room before I take you out of it my self"
she glared over at me
"You'll regret that"
"Try me" I dared
she turned on her heels and left her shoes clattering down the hall way echoed around for ages. I sat back down in the chair feeling tired again I rubbed my face feeling stressed out.
Weeks passed and Phil still showed no signs of waking up his parents visited everyday and were amazed at how long I has stayed with him, just because Summer had given up doesn't mean I was going to.
It was early evening and the nurse had brought me a basin of warm water and a wash cloth, I began to gently wash his skin and slowly combed his hair. I sighed starting to give up hope of ever seeing his eyes open again, when out of the blue his eye lids began to gentlty flicker
"Phil?"
My voice came of quiet and hoarse, his eye lids began to flicker again and my tears began to flow as his eyes gently opened.
I woke up once again to a loud banging, I looked around and spotted Phils tetris clock glowing in the corner, who would be banging on my door at 3.14 in the morning, I stumbled throught the dark my head spinning from lack of sleep, I wrenched the door open,
"DAN!"
My eyes shot open in shock as I realized Phils mum was stood oposite me, a feeling of worry and unease suddenly chewed on my stomach
"Whats wrong? mrs Lester why are you crying? wheres Phil?"
"Can I come in?" I nodded still frantic "Dan sweetheart sit down, we need to talk"
"Please tell me Phils okay please"
I was now begging tears streaming down my face
"I can't tell you Phil is okay"
She replied her voice growing thick
"What? why?"
"Dan he's in hospital, he's in the ICU"
"No" I whispered "He'll be fine" I said as my sobs grew louder
"Look hunny I'm on my way there now did you want to come with me?"
I nodded quickly and pulled my clothes on including Phils purple lion hoodie. and followed his mum down to her black land rover.
We drove in silence down many roads before pulling in to the hospital car park, I let myself out and ran in to the recption area
"Phil Lester"
"top floor room two"
I ran everything rushing through my mind guilt clawing away at my insides, why did I let him go? why didnt i send him straight home to his parents? Now he's fighting for life and its my fault.
I sprinted up several flights of stairs in a way making me glad I lived in an appartment block these stairs where nothing compaired to mine and Phils.
I found room two and quietly pushed the door open, there he was a fragile drug addled wreck relying on machines to keep him alive, his arms where cut and scarred his old habits had come back the habts we had worked so hard to get through together, his normally thick shiny hair was lank and unclean, his smooth skin dull with a slight shine, his cheek bones where clearly visible as where his collar bones and ribs, his lips where dry and visibly chapped, I silently climbed on to the bed next to him and rested my head gently on his chest I let out a loud sob,
"PHIL!"
I continiued to let out loud anguished sobs until I had no more energy left to do so, I closed my eyes and listened to his soft and slow heartbeat sniffling and cuddling in to him,
"I'm so sorry Phil I am please wake up please I need you the world needs you please don't go, not with out me please"
I didn't get a response and lay there quietly with only his mums slight sniffling and the occasional bleep of his heart monitor to be heard.
Days began to blur together and I remained in the hospital with him only occasionally leaving in order to get him packs of square crisps and a bottle of coke just incase he was hungry when he woke up. I hoped reading to him would get a response so I sat reading him his favourite magazine articles for hours at a time.
I began to drift off in the chair several nights after Phil had been admited only to be woken by the door squeaking open I looked around sat bolt upright still squeezing Phils hand looking around for the nurse who usually checked on Phil in the evenings only to see Summer stood by the door
"Hey Danny"
"Get out!"
"Dan please you don't understand"
"Leave now he doesn't want you here go!"
"Oh did he tell you that?" she spat "Now hear me out! before you start having a go at me and trying to blame me this isn't my fault he was just so sad from losing you he had been talking about suicide for a while and I left to go meet a friend I came back and he was already gone, this is your fault Dan"
"No it's not" My heart broke in to as did my head not knowing whether to believe her, he had been my best friend for years but now it felt like I didn't even know him "This isn't my fault Summer it's yours! you are the dirty tramp how got him in to the fucking drugs, you are the one who took him from his family and you are the one who left him to get in to this state now I suggest you take your cheap slutty looking ass out of this room before I take you out of it my self"
she glared over at me
"You'll regret that"
"Try me" I dared
she turned on her heels and left her shoes clattering down the hall way echoed around for ages. I sat back down in the chair feeling tired again I rubbed my face feeling stressed out.
Weeks passed and Phil still showed no signs of waking up his parents visited everyday and were amazed at how long I has stayed with him, just because Summer had given up doesn't mean I was going to.
It was early evening and the nurse had brought me a basin of warm water and a wash cloth, I began to gently wash his skin and slowly combed his hair. I sighed starting to give up hope of ever seeing his eyes open again, when out of the blue his eye lids began to gentlty flicker
"Phil?"
My voice came of quiet and hoarse, his eye lids began to flicker again and my tears began to flow as his eyes gently opened.