Toxic

-Dan's POV-

It felt like a permanent state of being now, being curled up on the sofa crying, or being wrapped up in Phils duvet enjoying his scent but even that was starting to fade now.

It had been three months since he had left and I assume had moved in to Summers place, where ever that may be and I was starting to get lonely, the novelty of my own space had worn off and a crippling sadness was starting to take over.

I walked across the front froom and over to the small side table where I knew there was a note book I pulled it out and began to write,

"Dear Phil,

I doubt you even remember me now but I want you to know that I remember you, but the old you not the drug taking angry phil that you have become due to certain influences in your shiny new life.

You where my best friend almost my brother and occasionally my sister too, we had so many good times and for a long time you where the only thing keeping me alive, if it wasn't for you Phillip Lester I would have given up a long time ago and happily gone to an early grave.

I suppose I should think my self lucky to have known you for as long as I did, you didn't have to take pity on me but I guess thats the person you where, you wouldn't see any one hurt human or otherwise because you had a kind heart.

But thats all gone now your heart has shrivelled and is way to small but you feel anything but lust selfishness and greed, do you even know what love is any more Phil? because I can promise you it's not what you're feeling for Summer.

Love Phil is what I feel for you, its the butterflies I get as I watch you walk across the room, its the warmth and safety I feel whenever you're around, it's the laughs we share late in to the night, the sort of belly laughs where you cant breath and you think your lungs might just explode, its our early morning walks to starbucks on christmas eve to buy one of each festive drink they offer and then write a dammning review of them in the comments section of the website.

You and Summer don't have Love Phil she's using you as a pawn in her sick mind games she was probably sick of being used by the other men in her life.

I can't honestly believe she came between us and now I'm sat here alone because I can't stand what you've turned in to I don't want new Phil I want the old Phil that I love back but until you can find him inside your self I don't want you back Phil.

Come home when you find him, I miss you

Dan."

I looked around the front room biting down on my lip hard, the tears spilling down my cheeks, I placed the letter on the coffee table and curled back in to a small ball, letting the tears fall freely, I didn't have to be strong any more there was no one around for me to be strong for. I allowed my self to break until everything eventually faded to black.