Salvation

~Vic’s POV~

I jolted awake from my sleep as my alarm sounded. I turned myself over to face the window beside my bed; the view of the sky from San Diego isn’t looking very pleasant. It’s dark, the clouds threatening to pour down on us. Most people would complain about how bad the weather is, but something about it just makes me feel… comfortable. Maybe it’s just because I get to dress warmer today. However if I dig deeper, maybe it’s because it reflects myself.

The past three months haven’t been a lovely walk in the park for me. It’s just, I either feel sad, or empty. Maybe I’m just some whiny, hormonal, emotional teenager. Sure, sometimes I’m happy, but that’s a feeling that doesn’t seem to want to stick around. I guess I’ve been pretty lonely too. I have about 2 really great friends, and I have a very loving family, but it just feels like something, someone is missing from the big picture. There are also some people in my classes at school who are nice to me, but I don’t know if I’d consider them friends, I’m not saying this in a mean way or anything, and everyone else pretty much either ignores me or shoots me dirty looks. I’ve met a few people at work, but the only times they ever really talk to me is if they need a favor, or I need to turn out their horse for the rest of the day. Oh yeah, I work at a horse riding stable. Sure, I’d much rather be making music for a living, but it makes me decent money until I get through high school. I’ve also grown to really like the place, to enjoy working here. When all of the students and boarders leave for the day, or it’s super early in the morning before they arrive, it’s quite relaxing just checking on the horses and sweeping the barn. I also get a good workout out of it too, carrying all those supplies around before and after school.

I also have a friend here, her name is Tyler. She’s one of the riders here, and we have a lot in common. We have the same taste in music, fashion, and she plays bass guitar. Maybe one day we could start a band together, I think that’d be cool. Anyways, she rides a horse at the stables named Gage. She named him herself the day he arrived here, that’s what she told me. I watch her ride when I’m not busy. She said one day she’s going to make me ride with her, but I’ve always been scared of riding horses. I’ve heard of a lot of bad accidents that have happened, like near-death falls. But since I’ve started working here, I think I’m slowly getting over my fear.

We actually met each other in the hallway one day at school, when she complimented my Foo Fighters hoodie. Since then we’ve bonded and we’re now best friends. She’s the one who actually suggested I work at the barn, as they were looking for more people to help around. The owner was hesitant at first about hiring someone with little to no experience around or knowledge of horses, but eventually he gave in to Tyler’s convincing.

I swung out of my bed, and checked the clock. “1:23PM”. Shit, I’m going to be late if I don’t get moving! I pulled open my drawers and pulled out a pair of black skinnies and a Bring Me The Horizon shirt. I got dressed and skipped down the stairs, then jogged into the kitchen where I shoved a few granola bars in my pocket. After I made sure I had everything, I went outside and locked the door. I jumped into my car, and fiddled with The Used’s self-titled CD in my hands as I tried to put it in the player. Today is Saturday, which means I don’t have to work early in the mornings- someone else takes that shift instead on the weekends and Wednesdays, and no school. I started to pull out of the drive way and soon I was on my way to the stables to work for the remainder of the day. I stared up at the sky through my windshield- the sky is getting even darker.

By the time I had pulled into the stable’s parking lot, it was pouring outside, so I ran to the shelter of the main barn. There were a few students tacking up their horses for lessons, giving me a strange look as I sat on one of the benches near the door trying to catch my breath. I don’t really care though, most of the riders here today were the snobby rich kids with their expensive ponies and their parents bought them. They didn’t like me, probably because I don’t have a lot of money and I don’t really fit in to their whole “crowd” or “clique” or whatever you want to call it. It’s just like high school. I guess you can never really get away from things like that.

“Tyler can you please shut it you’re going to scare Abby!” One of the rich kids ( Ashley I think her name is?) complained.

“Ok yeah whatever Alicia” Oh, ok, not Ashley.

“Hey Tyler. What’s new?” I asked her as she jumped up and sat on the desk in front of me.
“Nothin’ much. Did you hear about that show coming up? I think the band’s called Trigger My Nightmare”

“Oh yeah! I’ve heard of them. Are you asking me if I want to go?”

“Of course! Going to shows isn’t the same without you! Anyways, I hear they’re a pretty rad band. Wanna come over to my house after we get out of this hay dump? I’ll help you with some of your chores so we can leave earlier.”

“Yeah, sure. Thanks!” I replied

Maybe that’s just what I needed- a good live show. Hopefully that’ll brighten up my spirits. Tyler waltzes her way towards one of the many cats that are kept here to keep the rat population down, her black hair slightly bouncing on her way. Tyler was a very beautiful girl, but I don’t think we could ever be more than friends. It just doesn’t seem right to me, me and Tyler, in a relationship. I wonder if I’ll ever meet a girl who I want to be in a relationship with. Maybe I’ll be alone. Maybe I’ll be alone forever. What if all of my friends leave me too? What if Tyler meets a boy and completely forgets about me? I feel tears building up in my eyes, my bad thoughts getting to me, so I quietly walk out of the main hall as fast as I can and sit on the washroom floor, closing the door behind me. I soon begin to start crying silently. It would be embarrassing if anyone heard me. And I don’t want anyone to worry about me either.
I hear the door creak open, I gasp and meet the eyes of Ursula, who starts giggling.
“Faggot” she spat and then she swiftly closed the door.

Then I wasn’t just upset, now I was also angry. More tears quickly fell down from my cheeks. I don’t know how long I was in there for- sitting on a titled floor, only accompanied with my tears and the negative voice inside my head. After a while I stopped crying, and blankly stared at one of the wooden walls. I don’t know how long I was lost in deep thought for. I started thinking about Ursula’s words, and the other things people at school call me.
Emo
Freak
Fag
Scum
Roach
Mexcrement
Limp-wrist
Until I heard someone knock on the door.
“Vic?”
“Vic are you in there? I haven’t seen you in almost an hour.”
I didn’t respond, it’s like I couldn’t. I just felt so out of it and lost, like there was no exit to all of my thoughts. Suddenly I let out a tiny sob, and the door was forcefully pulled open. Tyler wrapped her arms around me in a comforting hug.
“What happened?” She asked with concern in her eyes.
I gave no response, other than shaking my head.
“Ok. We’ll talk about it later?”
I nodded. She pulled me up to my feet and we walked to the coat room so we could get ready to go outside, still not letting go of me until we got into her car.