I Would Have Kept You Forever

Mollie, Taylor and I left Starbucks an hour later with Mollie practically buzzing with excitement.

“Tre Cool gave me his phone number!” She sang. I glanced at her and Taylor linked his arm with mine.

“You doing ok, Mags?” I shrugged.

“Can I get back to you on that?” He smiled sadly at me.

“Do you guys think I should text him?” Mollie asked, oblivious to the conversation I was having with Taylor. That was fine, let her enjoy this moment. I smiled at her.

“Mollie-he wouldn’t have given you his number if he didn’t want you to text him.” I reasoned.

“Good point.” Taylor chuckled.

“I’m glad to see you’re doing so ok with this.” I muttered, gesturing to Mollie. He shrugged.

“She’s happy, we’re still friends. No reason to not be ok.” I rested my head against his shoulder. “So, what are you going to do about Pierre?” I sighed.

“I don’t even know what to do about Jackson.”

“Jackson isn’t here.” Taylor pointed out.

“Now that we have a firm grasp on the obvious-” I teased. He nudged me. “If-and that’s a big if-if Pierre wants to go out-I’ll just be up front with him. If he gets pissed about it then whatever-if he’s cool then great.” I said, clenching my fists. At Jackson’s name, my palms started to tingle. I never used to mind it, but now that I can’t have him-it was just down right painful.

“Would you give Jackson a second chance?” Taylor asked. I bit my lip.

“I don’t think it’s up to me, Tay. I think I’m the one who needs the second chance.” I said sadly. He wrapped his arm around my shoulders. Mollie’s dad pulled up to the curb and we said our goodbyes.

“Come on, Mags.” Taylor said and we walked back to Cam’s apartment.

The next day, I was at this old school record store, waiting for Taylor and looking through a random stack of albums when the front door opened. I didn’t bother glancing up. It was obviously just another customer.

That was my first mistake.

“Hey, Maggie.” I jumped and turned to see Pierre grinning at me. He wasn’t being uncomfortable, he wasn’t crowding my space-he was looking through albums in the bin two rows down from mine.

“Hey, Pierre. How are you?”

“I’m alright. I was wondering how you felt about old movies.” He said. I frowned.

“Depends on the movie.” I said.

“Arsenic and Old Lace?” He asked. I laughed.

“It’s one of my favorites. Why?”

“They’re playing it at this amazing old theater downtown and I was wondering if you wanted to go with me. No one else will go. I figured we could grab a bite either before or after.” I bit my lip, hesitating. “Not a date, if that makes you uncomfortable.” He back-pedaled. I thought about it. I really did want to see it.

“Alright. Did you want to pick me up? I don’t know where the theater is.”

“Sure. What’s your address?” I got a piece of paper out of my purse and wrote down the boys’ apartment number.

“What time does it start?” I asked.

“Seven thirty.”

“Dinner before?” He nodded.

“Sounds good. I’ll pick you up around six.”

“Sure.” He left the store and I watched him go. He was tall, about 6’, black spiky hair, built a lot like Kellan. I didn’t feel a whole lot of attraction to him, but then again-I was comparing him to Jackson. As long as I kept doing that-no one was ever going to be good enough. When Taylor showed up, I told him about Pierre.

“I told you.” He muttered. I linked my arm through his.

“He’s no Jackson.” I said softly. He pressed a kiss to the side of my head.

That night, Pierre picked me up. Cam and Kellan were out somewhere, and we went to a small diner. Nothing fancy. He paid for dinner and drove us to the theater, all the while we talked about little things. Mostly his band and family. I avoided my screwy past mostly, and he didn’t seem inclined to ask. We chatted the whole way into the theater and until the lights went down to start the previews. I didn’t feel any more attraction to him, even after getting to know him better. I wonder if that will ever change. Or if I want it to change.

We fell silent and I focused my gaze on the screen. I was sitting cross-legged with my hands in my lap. I could tell Pierre wanted to talk more, but I didn’t give him any leeway to talk. I kept my gaze firmly on the screen, keeping my hands folded in my lap.

The movie ended and I stood up, stretching. I followed Pierre out of the crowded theater and out to his car. He maneuvered it easily into the flow of LA traffic and headed for Cam’s apartment. We talked about the movie as he drove, but I found myself getting tired. He pulled up out front and I thanked him before starting to open my door.

“Hey, Maggie?” He started, calling me back.

“Yeah?”

“Do you think next time we could make it an official date?” He asked. I sighed and slumped back into the seat.

“Pierre-I have to be honest with you. I just got out of a relationship that I didn’t really want to end. I’m not looking to start another relationship. I just want something fun and non-serious out of this-something to distract myself. I don’t need a boyfriend-I just need a friend. I’m sorry if I led you on.” I said. He smiled and patted my hand.

“A friend it is.” I smiled gratefully at him. “Have a good night.”

“You, too.” I got out of his car and went up to the apartment. Kellan was standing at the window facing the street when I came in.

“He didn’t even walk you to the door.” He sighed. I chuckled and went to stand behind him, wrapping my arms around his firm waist.

“Doesn’t matter.” I muttered, listening to his even breathing.

“Why’s that, babe?” He asked.

“He’s just a friend.” I said casually.

“Not the one you’re looking for?” He guessed. I shook my head.

“Only he knows where he is.” I said.

“Glad to hear it, Maggie.” He said, pulling me around him so he could hug me. The door opened again and I heard Cam groan.

“Could you two not do that in front of the windows? We have neighbors. There’s a perfectly good empty bedroom at the end of the hall, if you must.” I stepped back and looked at Kellan, laughing. His face had turned bright red. “Did I get him?” Cam asked as Kellan refused to turn around. I nodded.

“Kellan blushing. Who would have thought it?” I mused.

“Maggie, it’s past your bed time.” Kellan said, reaching for me. I backed up around the couch and bumped into Cam.

“This is just not fair.” I complained in defeat as Kellan picked me up.

“Who said life is fair? Where is that written?” Kellan asked as he carried me out of the living room.

“What’s going on?” I asked as the sound of Cam’s laughter died away.

“I just want to talk to you. We haven’t done it in a while.” He deposited me unceremoniously onto his bed and I scrambled up next to the headboard as he laid next to me.

“I’ve been texting Jamie.” He said. I smiled to myself.

“And?”

“She’s amazing.” He sighed.

“What do you two talk about?” I asked.

“Everything. She’s leaving for school soon and she’s nervous.” I nodded.

“I’m glad you two are getting along.” He kissed my cheek.

“Thank you.” We fell silent for a minute before he spoke again. “I tried calling Ashley today.”

“I haven’t been able to get in touch with her, either.” I mumbled.

“Are you still calling Jackson everyday?” He asked.

“No. I called him twice a day-every day from the second he left. He knows I want to talk to him-but he just won’t. I can take a hint.” I said firmly. “Besides-this is a conversation best for face to face.” He blew out a sigh.

“I could just kill him for being so stupid.”

“You could-but you won’t.” I said. Kellan lolled his head to look at me.

“And you know this how?” He asked, cocking an eyebrow.

“Public image. Plus-he’s your best friend.” I said.

“You’ve forgotten the most important reason.” He murmured.

“What’s that?”

“You love him.” I fell silent, not having a decent reply to that. “Gotcha.” He yawned. I kissed his cheek and curled up next to him.

Over the next couple of days, I hung out with Pierre and his friends while they fooled around in their recording studio.

With three weeks left before going up to Vancouver, I got a phone call from Tinsel. We made plans to have a late lunch.

I said goodbye to Pierre and the others when it was time for me to leave and I went to the best Mexican restaurant ever, at least-according to Tinsel, called Alegria on Sunset. I met her inside and we were seated rather quickly. We told the waiter what we wanted to drink and he went to get it while we looked over the menu.

“So, how’s Jackson?” She asked casually, glancing up at me. My heart constricted but I kept the tears under control.

“I don’t know. I don’t know where he is.” I said, keeping my gaze on my menu.

“What do you mean?” She asked.

“He broke up with me three weeks ago.”

“Maggie-why didn’t you tell me?” She asked.

“I’m sorry, Tinsel. I haven’t-” She shook her head.

“I understand. Tell me everything.” I told her about Jackson leaving and meeting Pierre and Mollie meeting Tre.

When I finished, she was watching me with careful eyes.

“And this Pierre is ok with you only wanting to be friends?” I shrugged.

“He seemed ok with it.”

“Just be careful. You know first hand what can happen when someone’s not clear.” She said. I nodded.

“Oh, trust me. I’ve got it.” She smiled. “So, tell me what’s been going on with you.” I said.

“I’ve been trying to get appointments with record companies-but so far-no luck.” I looked at her and grinned.

“I might be able to help with that.”

“Really?”

“Of course. I’ll talk to Pierre about it.” Two guys started to walk by our table but stopped when they saw Tinsel.

“Tinsel, hey. We haven’t seen you in almost a whole year!” One said, giving her a hug.

“Hey, Jerad, Ben. How have you guys been?” She asked, giving me a small look.

“Alright. Pretty busy.” The one she called Jerad answered.

“Guys, I’m sorry. This is Maggie Spencer.” Tinsel introduced. “Maggie-this is Jerad Anderson and Ben Graupner.” She said quietly. I shook their hands, smiling.

“Oh-you’re Jackson’s girlfriend.” Ben said. Everything in me stopped.

“You’re friends with Jackson?” I asked, forcing my voice to be more than just a whisper.

“We’re his <i>best</i> friends. Ben, here, is his roommate and we’re both in his band.” Jerad said, slinging an arm around his friend’s shoulder. I blinked.

“Oh-right. Of course. Momentary brain freeze.” I muttered.

“Have you seen Jackson lately?” Ben asked. I shook my head.

“No, I’m sorry.” I could feel the tears coming on and the only thing I could do was leave these people. “Excuse me.” I said before dropping money on the table for my meal and hurrying out of the restaurant. The second my feet hit the sidewalk, I lost it. I managed to make it back to Kellan’s apartment on autopilot and inside. I could hear voices coming from the kitchen before I let the door shut, so I quickly snuck back out into the hallway. I shut the door silently and slid to the floor next to their doorway, burying my face into my knees. A few minutes later I heard the door open and someone knelt in front of me.

“Mags, what are you doing out in the hallway?” Kellan asked. I sniffled and wiped my eyes.

“I just needed some time, Kell. Who’s inside?” I asked.

“John and Missy.” He answered automatically, still watching me.

“Tell John I said hi. I’ll be fine.” I said. He kissed my forehead and went back inside.

If I didn’t know this about Jackson-what else don’t I know?

<b><u>Ben Graupner</b></u>
After the scene with Maggie and Tinsel, I decided to call Jackson and see what’s going on. He picked up on the fifth ring.

“Hey, Ben.” He sighed. He sounded awful.

“Hey, Buddy. Listen-I just ran into Tinsel and your girlfriend and I think I upset her.” I said apologetically.

“Tinsel will get over it.” He said dejectedly.

“I meant Maggie.” I said.

“She already hates me. What’s one more mark against me?”

“Jack-where are you?”

“Home. I gotta go.” I heard a click.

“Jackson!” My answer was silence. “Damn it.”