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To Be Mortal
I Promised
“I shan’t bore you with the gory details of my registration into the database, it was long and grueling and frankly rather unnecessary.”
I had no idea how long I’d been locked up here in my cell, but after explaining my whole ‘first’ life story I had gotten quite used to talking; a lot. Fortunately for me, the good doctor was an excellent listener. At this moment however, he was not listening. In fact, he was laughing.
“What?” I snapped, “Is it ironic I’m referring to long, grueling, unnecessary test while being put under a long, grueling, unnecessary test?”
“No, it’s just…” he bit his knuckle as he tried to stifle his laughter, “Is shan’t even a word?”
“It is.”
“Well you see, I’m not so sure there.” His eyes were bright with humor and I rolled my eyes while crossing my arms.
He pissed me off.
“I don’t have to talk you know. You can go away and I can sit here all alone.”
“Nope; that’s not how this works.” he was still grinning with knowledge I did not share, “Jarred, our man behind the scenes back there has been preparing his fun room for weeks, perfecting it even as we speak. It’s this or that; either way we have to talk.”
“What do you want with me?”
His eyes and lips gave a sort of twitch, almost like a wink or blink with a twist but only half-way. I’d never seen any expression quite like that (and I have seen many different expressions) but I couldn’t tell if it meant distrust or if it was some sort of smirk. “You know I can’t tell you that.”
“Well, now no one can say I didn’t try, can they?” I smirked and crossed my arms, “I’ll just keep on going with the story then?”
“Be my guest.” I sneered and he smiled, “Go on.”
I stood on the sidewalk with cold feet. Literally, they were practically frozen from the rain that poured like waterfalls from the sky. At least no one could see the tears streaming down my face.
I was outside of the local HERO building, finally finished the extensive questioning and sampling. I had explained to them how this vampire had captured me and kept me there AGAINST MY WILL until they had finally rescued me. That would keep them off my back enough for enough time to let me find Jeremy.
They gave me a pack of blood packets that tasted like tea made of the hair gunk that gathered in shower drains. I had to ball up my fists just to swallow the foul liquid and get it into my body. It still helped me… a bit. They told me to come back there once a week to receive my “vitamin allowance” and reminded me receiving blood from another supplier was rather highly illegal. They even made me sign a bunch of forms pledging my allegiance to them, solemnly swearing to hold up the rights of my untainted blood and whatnot. I didn’t really take much note to it all, I just wanted to get out of there and find Jeremy.
Just before they let me go, the older vampire, Agent Green, pulled me aside and talked to me personally.
“I know you were lying back there.” She said, her voice and facial details remaining calm. “I know you weren’t captured by that vampire, let alone held captive by him.” Her eyes glittered with centuries of knowledge and wisdom. “I’ve seen you, you know. I’ve seen you two walking around town with his arm around your shoulder after dark, hanging about the bars and clubs, sparring in abandoned warehouses and construction lots. I’ve seen you.”
“Are you… are you going to tell them?”
“No.” she said, her voice lowering. “That wouldn’t be fair to you.” She paused and looked to my neck, where faint scars could be seen from where Jeremy once took blood from me, and a deeper scar from where he initiated my change. “Just… Can you do one thing for me?”
I glanced at her and furrowed my brow, “Maybe.”
“Don’t go looking for him. It won’t end well.”
“How can you say that?”
“I’ve lived a very long time. I can tell you that vampire-human relationships don’t last.”
“I’m not human anymore! Isn’t that why I’m here?”
“No, you’re not human. But he will always see you as mortal.”
“No he won’t! You don’t know anything! Jeremy loves me.” I growled.
Now I stood outside the building and the idea collapsed on me. I had no idea how to find him. He couldn’t go back to the apartment, it was crawling with agents. I sunk into the sidewalk and sat on the curb, my long, undead fingers tangling into my soaking hair.
It had taken hours to get here, lost in between the dark allies and blinding street lights of Toronto until I had finally found my destination. I stood in front of a huge, white house on a beautiful, well-kept street. I pounded on the door with a fist, feeling the wood splinter at my new strength. I gazed at the dent I had made with a simple walk and decided to try and keep my hands to myself.
The door opened and an elderly, wispy bearded man answered the door. “A...Ava?” he croaked, his voice a mere rasp.
“Papa Russell?” I asked, “P-Please. I need your help.”
“Where on earth is Jeremy? Isn’t he with you?” the old man was confused.
“No, no; don’t you see? That’s just it. I can’t find him.”
Papa Russell was the head of the Russell pack, father to Michael and his brothers. He was an intelligent, reasonable man who was very good friends with Jeremy. To me he had always been kind and patient. If anyone knew where he could be, it’d be him.
“Come inside, child. You must be freezing.”
“As much as I’d like to be, papa, this isn’t the case.”
As I stepped into light and his withered eyes began to register and understanding filled his eyes. “You’ve changed.”
“Papa, I really must find Jeremy. The agency is looking for him but he can’t leave the city without me.” Or at least… he wouldn’t.
“I’m sorry, but I haven’t spoken to Jeremy in over a year, you know that.”
You see, after Michael was arrested Jeremy blamed himself. He may not have liked the mutt but he never wanted him to get into trouble. For months he tried to get him out, along with papa’s help, but they locked him up good. After that Jeremy and the Russell pack just didn’t speak much. I had no idea they had cut off all communications.
“Papa, I really have to find him and I don’t have anywhere else to go.” I started sobbing even harder and he patted me on the back.
“You can stay in the spare room tonight; the sun will be rising soon. We’ll find him tomorrow evening.” He promised. I nodded and wiped my wet, red face.
“O… Okay.”
“Why don’t you have a nice hot bath, there are towels in the linen closet, just across the hall.” I nodded and walked slowly towards the bathroom.
It was beautiful, clean and porcelain shimmered in the lights outlining the huge mirror. Hanging against the wall was a long, cashmere robe. I hoped he wouldn’t mind if I used this later.
His bathtub was only one more jet to becoming a full-blown Jacuzzi. I remember coming here with Jeremy for dinners and business discussions and having to run off for a quick bathroom break. Seeing this was always rather tempting. Realizing I could give it a try now really helped me relax more.
I turned on the water and slipped into the bath. The warm water soothed my new, hyperactive senses and felt my aching muscles relax. I closed my eyes and gave a long sigh of relief.
I don’t know how long I had my eyes closed but when I opened them I saw a warm, smiling face above me.
“Jer?” I asked, smiling back.
The door opened loudly, jolting me from my sleep. I yelped when I saw the pale eyes of Jason.
“Holy cr-Christ.” He shouted “What are you doing here?”
“Long story…” I replied, grabbing my towel and quickly drying off. “I-I’m sorry.” I grabbed the robe off the hook from the wall and tied it tightly around me. “You can come in.”
The door creaked open and the tall werewolf entered. Jason was Michal’s brother, the third and youngest of the three that had approached me over four years ago. Since then we had both grown and changed in so many ways. I didn’t know him as well as the others in the Russell family, but he didn’t seem to be too keen on knowing me. It was rather strange too, seeing we were pretty much the same age. Nevertheless he never came to business meetings with Michael, Papa and Vincent and whenever Jeremy and I were invited to dinner he always found an excuse not to be there. Jer always said I was paranoid, but I had a feeling.
He looked at me strangely, obviously trying not to look at me too intrusively or thinking about the fact he had seen me in the bath only a few seconds before. “Are you okay?”
I opened my mouth to reply but paused, crossing my arms over my chest. “Yes.” I looked to the ground and we stood in silence for a moment.
“I think Dads waiting in the parlour for you.” He murmured, opening the door to let me out. I walked past him and he placed a hand on my shoulder, “You sure you’re okay?”
“Y… no… no, I’m not okay.” We nodded to each other and I walked down the hallway.
The parlour was a warm room with comfortable furniture and long, old looking drapes covering the windows. Papa Russell sat on the chair with a tray of tea and biscuits.
“Normally I’d have coffee but this is more soothing, I think.” I was always amazed at how kind this elderly werewolf could be, this man who ran such a highly illegal business that required ruthlessness and violence to levels I couldn’t or didn’t, want to imagine.
Papa Russell was the head of the whole pack, and very old. Jeremy wouldn’t tell me exactly how old, but he said older than any human man has ever lived. Werewolves may not be immortal like vampires, but in older age their immunity to disease and resilient bodies kept them healthy and strong for many years.
I took a small cup and a long drink. It was strange, not like drinking before. It was like… okay it was like nothing I could describe. Pointless, I noticed. I offered a snack to Jeremy once and he gave me a long rant about how taking and consuming food from me would be as idiotic and redundant. I never asked him again. I understood what he meant now. It seemed that Papa never had the pleasure of the same lecture from him. “Thank you.” Was all I said.
He smiled to me with mixed feelings; pity was the only one I could decipher. “So… Tell me what happened.”
I told him the whole story, from Jeremy’s alarmed entry to being left alone on the street in the deep of downtown Toronto. “I didn’t know where else to go.” I sighed, looking into my steaming cup of tea.
“It’s okay, child. You came to the right place. We have plenty of room now that it’s just me and Jason.”
“Where are your other sons?” I asked in alarm.
“Michael, Vincent and Terry are all locked up. The rest of my sons are in hiding.” The old man gave a withered sigh, “Actually, when you knocked I thought you might have been the agency coming to take me. They’ve simply ravaged the supernatural underworld, Ava.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” I wasn’t sure what else to say, “Is there anything I can do?”
“Yes, don’t rile up the damn government. Don’t get involved, just keep your head down and let what needs to be done be done. The human populous has been pushed around enough; the supernatural populous has been pushed around enough. If we just step back, everything can go back to normal. Can you promise me that, Ava?”
“Yes, I promise.”
Dubois suddenly interrupted me, “You really are a dirty, little liar.”
I smirked and shrugged, “Just a little.”
“Now, if I know Jeremy he will have found a supernatural-friendly hideout somewhere in the city. He’ll need to collect some assets and cut off ties before heading up north. He has friends in Newfoundland and Nova Scotia where he can regroup.”
“What about me? He won’t leave without me, will he?”
“No, no, child. Of course not.” He didn’t sound very enthusiastic, “He was always very fond of you.” Even then, traumatized and rather stunned at the last 48 hours, I could tell he was hiding something.
“Jeremy loves me, Papa. He told me himself.”
“I know, child… I know.” Silence overlapped our conversation before he continued, “We have a spare room upstairs, second door to the left. You can stay here as long as you need to.”
“May I go there now?”
“Of course, child, I will speak to you in the morning. I have some of Ciara’s old clothes here; I bet you’ll fit in them.”
We both rose from our seats and he led me to the stairs.
“Thank you, Papa, so much, really.”
He smiled to me, “It’s my pleasure. You have a nice sleep, Ava.”
“I will.”
The corridors of the house were well decorated with paintings and photos of scenery and portraits. I passed a photo of a young Michael, Vincent and Jason. I blinked when I glanced at the date, seeing it throb in front of my eyes. This was taken only days after my attempted run away. I retreated into my room with a spinning head.
I sat on the bed and stared at my hands, realizing for the first time just how serious my state was. I was dead, forever. I would never age, never have children and never be human again. My life would forever be soaked in the blood of mortals. Mortal, such a small, insignificant word isn’t it. It was something I would never be again.
There was another knock on my door and I called out, “Come in.”
It was Jason again, but this time instead of catching me without clothes, he came bearing them for me. “These used to be Ciara’s before she left for Chicago. They should fit you fine.”
“Thank you Jason.”
He put them on the dresser and sat down beside me on the bed. He mimicked me, looking at his hands solemnly. I could hear chirping from crickets from the open window for minutes until he finally spoke.
“I should have said this a long time ago but… Michael may not have recognized you; but I did.” My throat clenched, I think his did too. “I was a kid, stupid really. I’ve regretted that night ever since. We were drunk and bored; it was Michael taking Vince out for his 18th birthday.” His face was full of grief and shame.
I had no idea how to respond. I wasn’t expecting this at all, “I… I mean… It’s okay, Jason.”
“No, it’s not.” He sighed.
“It was years ago, I...”
“We had no right to do that to you, Ava. When I saw you come in with Jeremy two years ago I didn’t know what to do. I still don’t know what to do.”
“Okay.” I said, “Well I guess this was a start.”
“I just, I want to make it up to you.”
“I’m not sure how you can.”
He turned to me and took my hand in his, “Promise, Ava. Promise you will find a way to let me make it up to you.”
“O… okay, I will”
I had no idea how long I’d been locked up here in my cell, but after explaining my whole ‘first’ life story I had gotten quite used to talking; a lot. Fortunately for me, the good doctor was an excellent listener. At this moment however, he was not listening. In fact, he was laughing.
“What?” I snapped, “Is it ironic I’m referring to long, grueling, unnecessary test while being put under a long, grueling, unnecessary test?”
“No, it’s just…” he bit his knuckle as he tried to stifle his laughter, “Is shan’t even a word?”
“It is.”
“Well you see, I’m not so sure there.” His eyes were bright with humor and I rolled my eyes while crossing my arms.
He pissed me off.
“I don’t have to talk you know. You can go away and I can sit here all alone.”
“Nope; that’s not how this works.” he was still grinning with knowledge I did not share, “Jarred, our man behind the scenes back there has been preparing his fun room for weeks, perfecting it even as we speak. It’s this or that; either way we have to talk.”
“What do you want with me?”
His eyes and lips gave a sort of twitch, almost like a wink or blink with a twist but only half-way. I’d never seen any expression quite like that (and I have seen many different expressions) but I couldn’t tell if it meant distrust or if it was some sort of smirk. “You know I can’t tell you that.”
“Well, now no one can say I didn’t try, can they?” I smirked and crossed my arms, “I’ll just keep on going with the story then?”
“Be my guest.” I sneered and he smiled, “Go on.”
---
I stood on the sidewalk with cold feet. Literally, they were practically frozen from the rain that poured like waterfalls from the sky. At least no one could see the tears streaming down my face.
I was outside of the local HERO building, finally finished the extensive questioning and sampling. I had explained to them how this vampire had captured me and kept me there AGAINST MY WILL until they had finally rescued me. That would keep them off my back enough for enough time to let me find Jeremy.
They gave me a pack of blood packets that tasted like tea made of the hair gunk that gathered in shower drains. I had to ball up my fists just to swallow the foul liquid and get it into my body. It still helped me… a bit. They told me to come back there once a week to receive my “vitamin allowance” and reminded me receiving blood from another supplier was rather highly illegal. They even made me sign a bunch of forms pledging my allegiance to them, solemnly swearing to hold up the rights of my untainted blood and whatnot. I didn’t really take much note to it all, I just wanted to get out of there and find Jeremy.
Just before they let me go, the older vampire, Agent Green, pulled me aside and talked to me personally.
“I know you were lying back there.” She said, her voice and facial details remaining calm. “I know you weren’t captured by that vampire, let alone held captive by him.” Her eyes glittered with centuries of knowledge and wisdom. “I’ve seen you, you know. I’ve seen you two walking around town with his arm around your shoulder after dark, hanging about the bars and clubs, sparring in abandoned warehouses and construction lots. I’ve seen you.”
“Are you… are you going to tell them?”
“No.” she said, her voice lowering. “That wouldn’t be fair to you.” She paused and looked to my neck, where faint scars could be seen from where Jeremy once took blood from me, and a deeper scar from where he initiated my change. “Just… Can you do one thing for me?”
I glanced at her and furrowed my brow, “Maybe.”
“Don’t go looking for him. It won’t end well.”
“How can you say that?”
“I’ve lived a very long time. I can tell you that vampire-human relationships don’t last.”
“I’m not human anymore! Isn’t that why I’m here?”
“No, you’re not human. But he will always see you as mortal.”
“No he won’t! You don’t know anything! Jeremy loves me.” I growled.
Now I stood outside the building and the idea collapsed on me. I had no idea how to find him. He couldn’t go back to the apartment, it was crawling with agents. I sunk into the sidewalk and sat on the curb, my long, undead fingers tangling into my soaking hair.
---
It had taken hours to get here, lost in between the dark allies and blinding street lights of Toronto until I had finally found my destination. I stood in front of a huge, white house on a beautiful, well-kept street. I pounded on the door with a fist, feeling the wood splinter at my new strength. I gazed at the dent I had made with a simple walk and decided to try and keep my hands to myself.
The door opened and an elderly, wispy bearded man answered the door. “A...Ava?” he croaked, his voice a mere rasp.
“Papa Russell?” I asked, “P-Please. I need your help.”
“Where on earth is Jeremy? Isn’t he with you?” the old man was confused.
“No, no; don’t you see? That’s just it. I can’t find him.”
Papa Russell was the head of the Russell pack, father to Michael and his brothers. He was an intelligent, reasonable man who was very good friends with Jeremy. To me he had always been kind and patient. If anyone knew where he could be, it’d be him.
“Come inside, child. You must be freezing.”
“As much as I’d like to be, papa, this isn’t the case.”
As I stepped into light and his withered eyes began to register and understanding filled his eyes. “You’ve changed.”
“Papa, I really must find Jeremy. The agency is looking for him but he can’t leave the city without me.” Or at least… he wouldn’t.
“I’m sorry, but I haven’t spoken to Jeremy in over a year, you know that.”
You see, after Michael was arrested Jeremy blamed himself. He may not have liked the mutt but he never wanted him to get into trouble. For months he tried to get him out, along with papa’s help, but they locked him up good. After that Jeremy and the Russell pack just didn’t speak much. I had no idea they had cut off all communications.
“Papa, I really have to find him and I don’t have anywhere else to go.” I started sobbing even harder and he patted me on the back.
“You can stay in the spare room tonight; the sun will be rising soon. We’ll find him tomorrow evening.” He promised. I nodded and wiped my wet, red face.
“O… Okay.”
“Why don’t you have a nice hot bath, there are towels in the linen closet, just across the hall.” I nodded and walked slowly towards the bathroom.
It was beautiful, clean and porcelain shimmered in the lights outlining the huge mirror. Hanging against the wall was a long, cashmere robe. I hoped he wouldn’t mind if I used this later.
His bathtub was only one more jet to becoming a full-blown Jacuzzi. I remember coming here with Jeremy for dinners and business discussions and having to run off for a quick bathroom break. Seeing this was always rather tempting. Realizing I could give it a try now really helped me relax more.
I turned on the water and slipped into the bath. The warm water soothed my new, hyperactive senses and felt my aching muscles relax. I closed my eyes and gave a long sigh of relief.
I don’t know how long I had my eyes closed but when I opened them I saw a warm, smiling face above me.
“Jer?” I asked, smiling back.
The door opened loudly, jolting me from my sleep. I yelped when I saw the pale eyes of Jason.
“Holy cr-Christ.” He shouted “What are you doing here?”
“Long story…” I replied, grabbing my towel and quickly drying off. “I-I’m sorry.” I grabbed the robe off the hook from the wall and tied it tightly around me. “You can come in.”
The door creaked open and the tall werewolf entered. Jason was Michal’s brother, the third and youngest of the three that had approached me over four years ago. Since then we had both grown and changed in so many ways. I didn’t know him as well as the others in the Russell family, but he didn’t seem to be too keen on knowing me. It was rather strange too, seeing we were pretty much the same age. Nevertheless he never came to business meetings with Michael, Papa and Vincent and whenever Jeremy and I were invited to dinner he always found an excuse not to be there. Jer always said I was paranoid, but I had a feeling.
He looked at me strangely, obviously trying not to look at me too intrusively or thinking about the fact he had seen me in the bath only a few seconds before. “Are you okay?”
I opened my mouth to reply but paused, crossing my arms over my chest. “Yes.” I looked to the ground and we stood in silence for a moment.
“I think Dads waiting in the parlour for you.” He murmured, opening the door to let me out. I walked past him and he placed a hand on my shoulder, “You sure you’re okay?”
“Y… no… no, I’m not okay.” We nodded to each other and I walked down the hallway.
The parlour was a warm room with comfortable furniture and long, old looking drapes covering the windows. Papa Russell sat on the chair with a tray of tea and biscuits.
“Normally I’d have coffee but this is more soothing, I think.” I was always amazed at how kind this elderly werewolf could be, this man who ran such a highly illegal business that required ruthlessness and violence to levels I couldn’t or didn’t, want to imagine.
Papa Russell was the head of the whole pack, and very old. Jeremy wouldn’t tell me exactly how old, but he said older than any human man has ever lived. Werewolves may not be immortal like vampires, but in older age their immunity to disease and resilient bodies kept them healthy and strong for many years.
I took a small cup and a long drink. It was strange, not like drinking before. It was like… okay it was like nothing I could describe. Pointless, I noticed. I offered a snack to Jeremy once and he gave me a long rant about how taking and consuming food from me would be as idiotic and redundant. I never asked him again. I understood what he meant now. It seemed that Papa never had the pleasure of the same lecture from him. “Thank you.” Was all I said.
He smiled to me with mixed feelings; pity was the only one I could decipher. “So… Tell me what happened.”
I told him the whole story, from Jeremy’s alarmed entry to being left alone on the street in the deep of downtown Toronto. “I didn’t know where else to go.” I sighed, looking into my steaming cup of tea.
“It’s okay, child. You came to the right place. We have plenty of room now that it’s just me and Jason.”
“Where are your other sons?” I asked in alarm.
“Michael, Vincent and Terry are all locked up. The rest of my sons are in hiding.” The old man gave a withered sigh, “Actually, when you knocked I thought you might have been the agency coming to take me. They’ve simply ravaged the supernatural underworld, Ava.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” I wasn’t sure what else to say, “Is there anything I can do?”
“Yes, don’t rile up the damn government. Don’t get involved, just keep your head down and let what needs to be done be done. The human populous has been pushed around enough; the supernatural populous has been pushed around enough. If we just step back, everything can go back to normal. Can you promise me that, Ava?”
“Yes, I promise.”
---
Dubois suddenly interrupted me, “You really are a dirty, little liar.”
I smirked and shrugged, “Just a little.”
---
“Now, if I know Jeremy he will have found a supernatural-friendly hideout somewhere in the city. He’ll need to collect some assets and cut off ties before heading up north. He has friends in Newfoundland and Nova Scotia where he can regroup.”
“What about me? He won’t leave without me, will he?”
“No, no, child. Of course not.” He didn’t sound very enthusiastic, “He was always very fond of you.” Even then, traumatized and rather stunned at the last 48 hours, I could tell he was hiding something.
“Jeremy loves me, Papa. He told me himself.”
“I know, child… I know.” Silence overlapped our conversation before he continued, “We have a spare room upstairs, second door to the left. You can stay here as long as you need to.”
“May I go there now?”
“Of course, child, I will speak to you in the morning. I have some of Ciara’s old clothes here; I bet you’ll fit in them.”
We both rose from our seats and he led me to the stairs.
“Thank you, Papa, so much, really.”
He smiled to me, “It’s my pleasure. You have a nice sleep, Ava.”
“I will.”
The corridors of the house were well decorated with paintings and photos of scenery and portraits. I passed a photo of a young Michael, Vincent and Jason. I blinked when I glanced at the date, seeing it throb in front of my eyes. This was taken only days after my attempted run away. I retreated into my room with a spinning head.
I sat on the bed and stared at my hands, realizing for the first time just how serious my state was. I was dead, forever. I would never age, never have children and never be human again. My life would forever be soaked in the blood of mortals. Mortal, such a small, insignificant word isn’t it. It was something I would never be again.
There was another knock on my door and I called out, “Come in.”
It was Jason again, but this time instead of catching me without clothes, he came bearing them for me. “These used to be Ciara’s before she left for Chicago. They should fit you fine.”
“Thank you Jason.”
He put them on the dresser and sat down beside me on the bed. He mimicked me, looking at his hands solemnly. I could hear chirping from crickets from the open window for minutes until he finally spoke.
“I should have said this a long time ago but… Michael may not have recognized you; but I did.” My throat clenched, I think his did too. “I was a kid, stupid really. I’ve regretted that night ever since. We were drunk and bored; it was Michael taking Vince out for his 18th birthday.” His face was full of grief and shame.
I had no idea how to respond. I wasn’t expecting this at all, “I… I mean… It’s okay, Jason.”
“No, it’s not.” He sighed.
“It was years ago, I...”
“We had no right to do that to you, Ava. When I saw you come in with Jeremy two years ago I didn’t know what to do. I still don’t know what to do.”
“Okay.” I said, “Well I guess this was a start.”
“I just, I want to make it up to you.”
“I’m not sure how you can.”
He turned to me and took my hand in his, “Promise, Ava. Promise you will find a way to let me make it up to you.”
“O… okay, I will”
♠ ♠ ♠
Sorry it took so long, but here is the 11th chapter. I hope you like it, as always I simply adore your opinions. Comments are oh so greatly appreciated.The next chapter is going to be BIG I mean big on content, big on plots, big on editing (sorry). Comments are excellent ways to poke me into getting into it again. Again, I really hope you like the story.