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To Be Mortal

The Fine Line Between Beginnings and Endings

Oliver tapped his pen on his clipboard and we were silent for a moment. He turned from his writing and looked up at me, “What?”

“You seem disturbed; do you want me to continue?”

“No, no. Well… I do have one question.”

“Yes?”

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck, “Is that when you… truly changed? I mean when you left your humanity behind?”

“Not entirely.”

---


Thunder and rain slammed against the window sill and pattered on the glass. I opened my eyes and the first thing I saw was Jason’s sleeping face. My arm was wrapped around his chest and his around my shoulders. I slowly moved away from him and slipped off the bed.

I went to my room and changed into actual clothes, a simple white dress shirt and black dress pants. The whole house was dark and quiet since it was midday (both vampires and werewolves were primarily nocturnal). Before leaving I took a sticky note and placed it on the door of my room with two words, “Thank you.”

I took a cab downtown, getting soaked in the rain that poured overhead. Luckily though, the sunlight was minimal enough that I could be outside. It was uncomfortable, but not dangerous.

I stopped in front of a tall, grey building, taking a deep breath. I entered the lobby and spoke quickly to the secretary at the front desk. She nodded and picked up her phone. After a minute or so she turned to me and said, “You can go on up; 3rd floor, 5th door to the left.”

The elevator was luxurious and cold, but fast. It was lined with a reflective metal, giving a pretty good image too; nearly a mirror. As I walked down the hall to the third door to the left, I still wasn’t sure I was doing the right thing, but I saw no alternative.

After last night, I knew what I needed. I needed pain. Not mine, hell no, I needed to cause pain. It was the most exhilarating experience I had ever felt, and I couldn’t go without another hit. It frightened and excited me all at the same time, and a sort of craving was setting in. Already I felt like an addict looking for her next fix. And I only knew one place I could get as much as violence I could ever want.

In a memory a voice hissed in my ear, “Mortality and humanity aren’t things that vampires can loose overnight. We can’t really understand that we’re dead before we can take a life of another, which you have not done yet, little one. When you do, come find me.”

“Ava, welcome.” Purred agent Patricia Green, she took me in her arm and guided me inside. “I’m glad you came.”

The HERO agency, yes, I know what you’re probably thinking. These are the people that separated me from Jeremy (which by that time I could have thanked them for), who caused me so much trouble… but if you really think about it I couldn’t have that much against them. After experiencing what it really meant to be a vampire, I knew I needed to be with my own kind. Other than Jeremy, Agent Green was the only other vampire I knew. Somehow I knew that she was the only being on the planet I could trust even a little. Of course that didn’t mean I did, it just meant I knew I had the ability to.

I felt cheated, betrayed by the universe. I had spent my entire life following people, men more line, that were supposed to, had even promised to take care of me, but only worked for their own personal gain, their own needs, their own filthy habits. I was ready to embrace my true nature as they had theirs.

Patricia guided me through a grey hallway, her arm around my shoulders. “I knew you would come.”

“I didn’t.”

“Like I said before, true vampirism isn’t something that comes with death, nor is it something it can continue without. It’s how we were designed.”

“Why?” I dared ask.

She looked at me curiously, like she wondered why I would question her. “Well, new life cannot begin with death; death is the opposite of birth, it is an end. A birth or a beginning cannot start with an end. Humanity lasts past death, which is why ghosts are still considered ‘human’ but humanity itself must be left behind for a vampire to truly thrive, to truly change into a creature of the night. You lived in death as you did in life, hovering on the last page of being a human, depending on a lover, the feelings of insecurity and powerlessness. I can see it in your eyes now, that you have finally begun your true transformation. You will find that those tendencies will not bother you much longer. The whole thing… it… it’s a bit complicated.”

I nodded, starting to understand. “It’s not something that humans can really understand either, is it?”

“It’s not something I think any of us can really understand.”

She led me to an interview room and had me sit at a stainless steel table, which was icy cold and incredibly unwelcoming.

“So what are you here for, Miss Lynn? How can I help you?”

I sighed and then attempted to regain my composure so I looked as formal as possible, “I want to learn. I have nothing, Agent Green. I will join you and your cause in return.”

She smiled with a hint of a smirk and purred, “Correct answer.”

We spent a few hours filling out form after form until my handwriting looked so foreign I didn’t even recognize my own initials.

“We’ll enlist you up as an agent in training, you’ll be under my command at all times and you’ll be put up in an empty apartment downstairs, the rent is free. It’s required for all agents to have a room on site. The pay is crap at first but soon enough you’ll be earning decent money.”

“What will I be doing?”

“At first I’ll have you stationed in my department with my team as a trainee field agent. Once you’re done basic training you can direct yourself anyway you like.”

Soon she took me through a long route through hallways past countless offices and departments that I couldn’t imagine I could ever memorize. “I can’t believe they set this all up within just a few years…”

“You really think they haven’t had underground workings on supernatural control before the HEROs? This place used to be for a top secret branch in the CSIS that dealt with supernatural control. Mostly to cover up vampire rampages or mass werewolf extermination, things like that. Naturally it disbanded when the HEROs office opened, but many of the older agents and officers originate from them.”

“Fascinating.”

“Ah, here we are.” She said, turning to me and brushing her silver hair behind her ear. We entered through large steel doors with formal letters drilled in the head spelling out ‘Supernatural Division’.

“This is the only office in the entire agency that accepts supernaturals. They work in other departments, primarily teamed up with other supernaturals if at all possible.”

The doors opened up to a large, open room. The ceiling towered feet above normal heights and the walls were plated with shined steel. The perimeter was lined with desks, many topped with computers and filing cabinets. In the center of the room was a long table, probably where conferences could be held and work could be done. A couple workers scattered the office, some working, others chatting about mundane problems such as bugs in the system or trouble filling out paperwork. I was beginning to think maybe this job wasn’t as exciting as I thought it would be. My knees shook anxiously and became weak; feeling the need to leave. My lower lip began to quiver and I wished I could just run off now, but Patricia grasped my shoulder tighter than a crocodile on its prey.

She cleared her throat and the entire room jumped, turning to meet her whim. “Everybody, this is Ava Lynn. She’ll be joining the division as my trainee. I want you all to be as warm and welcoming to her as you would be to my own daughter.” She turned me and began to gesture to the employees. “Let me introduce you to some of our members here.”

The first were two young agents, a short young woman with dark hair and a spindly young man with slicked back, black hair. They were surrounded by files and both looked rather bookish.

“Linda and Lenny Parker, our twin shapeshifters; they work in the Department of Document Transition.”

“Hi, Avalynn!” Linda said, looking up at me through thick glasses. “Welcome to HEROs!”

“Oh, it’s just Ava.”

“Oh, you like to shorten your name too? I wanted people to call me Lin but it never did catch.”

Patricia pursed her lips and said, “Don’t you have some sorting to do, Parker?”

The young girl flinched, looking away, “Yes, Ms. Green.”

The older vampire guided me past the pair and took me to the one man I recognized, Daniel.

“Ava, I’m sure you remember Agent Daniel Alan. He’s a field agent like us.”

“Yes, I remember you.” I growled, their hair standing on the back of my neck as anger passed through me, “I also remember how rude you were. Talking down to me because of what I am. And you’re not even human, or you wouldn’t be here.”

He looked at me with such cold contempt that I nearly flinched…nearly, “For your information, leech, I am a warlock of the ancient clan Cibos; knights fighting for human protection dating back to the roman era. And don’t call me ‘Agent Alan’ like you have authority over me because I am a senior officer, I command you.” He sneered at me as his voice came out in a low growl. He was good at looking threatening… for a mortal.

“Excuse me, Agent Alan, but I’ll call you whatever I damn well please…”

“Ava!” Patricia interrupted me, making me grit my teeth and turn away. I had no idea why I was so worked up, but it felt good to bite back a little, show some fang as it were.

“This is Tess, Ava. Dr. Tessa Pierce. She has a Ph.D. in biochemistry and a Masters in the study of the supernatural. She is also a fairy.” Tess was an extremely short woman. She had a short skirt and a short nose and a small head with short, spiked hair. Her eyes were alarmingly green which light up her unusually childlike face despite her other signs of age such as grey hairs and thin wrinkles. She wore a long, white lab coat over her clothes and was currently writing a very long report on a withered notepad.

“Pixie, Ms. Green! I’m a pixie.” She snapped, turning sharply from her work to us and back just as (or even more) quickly. “As you can see, I don’t have wings.”

I was surprised she dared talk to my new ‘mentor’ like that. No other seemed to wish to cross her, except perhaps Daniel. That seemed to tell me that either this pixie had more backbone than any fairy I had ever met or she was of higher status than Agent Green in the agency.

“Tess works down in our research department.”

“Yes, top secret work; above even your pay grade, Patricia.”

“No, just above my concern.” She said, scowling darkly at the pixie. She shook her head and turned back to me, “Let’s move on.”

She took me to the center table where three supernaturals sat. One girl was pouring over a thick textbook, her hair tied back loosely and large glasses pushed to the very back of the bridge of her nose. From the back of her shirt showed light brown wings, resembling those of a butterfly; classic fairy. Then there was a man, sulky and dark with fiery red hair. From his arms glowed bright red, flaming tattoos. Beside him was an older woman, even older than Patricia (in appearances of course because, let’s face it, she was the oldest being in the room). Hair was tied back in a braid fell down her back and grey misty, eerie tattoos also wrapped around her arms in wave-like patterns. They were elementals, I could tell.

“This is Robin Baily, Adam Baker and Sara Summers. Robin interns in the research department with Dr. Pierce and Adam is an apprentice like you, being trained under Agent Summers. He is a fire elemental and Sara is a rare Weather elemental; daughter of an air and water elemental couple.”

“Nice to meet you.” I said politely, but the three barely turned their heads to me, just to Patricia.

“It’s good to see you, Trish.” Sara said, smiling up to my ‘teacher’ (we’d seriously have to work on what I’d call her). “Who’s this?”

“This is Ava, my new recruit.”

“Oh, that’s great, but… well… I had a problem this morning; I was hoping you’d help me solve it. Can you maybe spare a moment?”

“Oh, yes of course.” Patricia said, turning to Agent Alan, “Take Ava to her the new apartments; would you Daniel?”

“What?! Now I’m a baby-sitter for fangs? No thank you.”

She whipped her head to the snarky young man and snarled, “Ava is now your co-worker, and you should treat her as such!” The entire room gave a twinge; even me. I could think of no reason for what got her panties in a twist, but I had nothing to do except smirk as the agent stood and took me by the arm. I couldn’t even suppress a chuckle.

“Shut up.” He hissed through gritted teeth.

Silently he led me to the elevator and pressed the button for the floor near the bottom. As soon as the doors closed he pushed me against the back of the elevator and tried to pin me to the wall. “Now listen here, little girl, you—.” I pushed back with barely any effort, sending him slamming into the closed doors across from me.

For a split second, I was mortified I’d ever intentionally hurt anyone, even this jackass, but the feeling surpassed as a flood of adrenaline and lust for blood started to consume me. I wanted to rip him apart; my entire body begged me to. Something internally, something inside of me was bewildered at these thoughts, pushing at my inhibitions to and desperately struggling to hold me back. That part of me, the little humanity that survived couldn’t understand why I was doing this. I had been drinking blood for a while now, but I had never experienced this rage… this lust for anyone other than my father before. I advanced towards him and held him to the wall, fangs slipping from my jaw out from my gums, ready to bite. A cool sensation flashed in my eyes, and in the reflection of the elevator I saw my eyes turn blood red. I looked directly into his eyes and saw fear in them.

“No, you listen here. Stay away from me.” I looked at his neck and felt another rush of lust, his heartbeat ringing in my ears. It was annoying. Like the stupid nyan cat song but worse, internal, with only one off button located deep within his chest. It wasn’t just the taste of his blood I wanted; it was the silencing of his heart. I brought my lips to his neck and let my lips slowly graze over his artery, tenderly, then drew away. “You dare, touch me again and I won’t be nearly as kind.” I hissed, and then let him go.

I stepped from the elevator and tilted my head a little, “Goodbye, Agent Alan.”
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I'm so sorry! I can't believe it's taken this long to update. Summer is coming up soon so hopefully I'll speed up the chapters soon!