Fate's Cruel Hand

The rumbling feeling in her stomach intensifies by one hundred as she starts opening the official looking letter from her practice colleagues. Susan had called and warned her about the letter, how it was just protocol to inform her of what was going to happen in the investigation and finally the inquest. Her hands tremor slightly as she reads on, feeling her stomach lurch and tug quite viciously. She is formally suspended until this mess is straightened out. Being told to stay away from the office was like being kicked in the stomach, making her feel worse than she already does and that she had done nothing wrong despite Susan's support.
Heavy hearted, Kelly wanders into the living room where Jeremy is sleeping on the sofa. She looks down at him and brushes his floppy hair back from his eyes, he stirs slightly and falls back asleep.
The last few months had been difficult for the both of them, adapting to the aftermath of the accident which had exhausted both of them and now this.
It just feels like it's one thing after another, always struggling through something.

****
Kelly breathes in a deep breath and exhales slowly. She wonders if Jeremy or anyone else in the waiting room can hear her stomach churn. She imagines they can all hear it, but are just too polite to say so. It's the first day of the inquest and she has no idea what to expect, except her every word noted down, scrutinised.

Kelly flinches at Jeremy's touch, his hand giving her knee a supportive squeeze. He gives her a small smile.

"It's going to be okay."

"I wish I could believe you" she replies, her head spinning from the many thoughts that are racing through her head.

She feels nauseous again and debates whether to visit the toilet down the corridor or not.

"Trust me, okay?" He kisses her cheek briefly as the door across the hallway opens, Susan emerging with a confident nod of the head in Kelly's direction.

"I wish you could come in with me" she says with a sigh.

"I'll be waiting right here for you, baby. You're going to be fine" he says and gives her hand a squeeze.

He watches her as she straightens down her suite jacket and pencil skirt, taking a final deep breath before entering the room where a small group of people decide whether Carl Benton's death could have been prevented.

*****

Kelly nervously takes the seat she is appointed to and counts to ten in her head. Her palms are sweaty and it feels like she's eaten a mouthful of sand, her mouth as dry as the desert. The four people across from her welcome her with encouraging and sympathetic smiles.

"Dr Hunter, do you understand why you are here?" The man with the white moustache has already introduced himself as Albert Denim.

"Yes, I do" Kelly feels her mouth dry and takes a sip on the glass of water.

"Given the untimely death of Carl Benton, a suicide that's been confirmed by the medical examiner's office, I'm afraid there are a few questions we would like to ask you."

"I understand" she replies.

"Dr Hunter, you were currently treating Mr Benton in weekly sessions of therapy. What did he talk about?" Laurel Fox, one of the two women ask.

"Mr Benton always discussed issues in his life, mostly how he felt unloved and unwanted by everyone around him" she licks her lips."He found those issues very difficult to discuss."

The next hour is spent going through everything Carl Benton ever discussed in his therapy sessions, the moments when he craved attention as a child and when he was turned away by his foster carer's. The panel also made a point in asking Kelly's professional opinion on Benton's past crimes, how he had started torturing and killing animals as a child to taking life as an adult.
Kelly feels completely drained, exhausted to the point of collapsing, but she knows the questions won't stop here.

"Dr Hunter, you will be able to go soon. We just have a few more questions" The man called Denim says. "You reported to your colleague, Dr Willard that you were concerned for Mr Benton's welfare. Why were you concerned?"

Kelly takes in the question and processes the information, exactly what she had said to the police and had written in her statement.

"That morning Mr Benton was irritable. He was aggressive when he spoke, but didn't say why when I asked him. He kept saying that everyone betrayed him, abandoned him and they would pay for it dearly. A few minutes later he seemed calmer and would then become hostile again. When the session was finished I made a referral to a colleague at the mental health wing. I then went and spoke to Susan Willard about it."

The four of them nod in unison, sharing looks.

"Thank you, Dr Hunter. You may be excused. You will know momentarily the outcome of today"