A Time in the Future

'I’m sorry it came to what it did. I had to grab your attention, no matter how long I disappear for, you and them are forever in my mind. I need you. It was all one stupid mistake; it shouldn’t have ended like it did. Please. You need to forgive me.
I still love you.
Meet me tonight by HMV at 9pm. It’s important.
xxx'

I knew that familiar scrawl. I didn’t know whether the note was a blessing or a curse. I still loved him. I wanted and needed him. The four years that he’s been out of my life have been torture. I’ve been able to survive, but a part of my heart has always been missing. No matter how much I love the triplets, they aren’t capable of filling that hole. He went about it all the wrong way, but it has been forever... I forgive him. I have done for three years. I now just miss him so much, I’m scared of it all repeating itself again. I couldn’t live through that.

“Dad... Daddy... Erm... Would you mind babysitting for me tonight? Please? It would mean the absolute world to me if you did.” A hopeful look spread across the nineteen year olds face, it was the first time he’d asked them to babysit ever. Once wouldn’t hurt, it wasn’t as though anything was going to come from this.

“Yeah sure we will... But why?” The question and reply came from Gavin; his arm was slung around Rhys’ shoulder as they happily watched TV together. Their relationship didn’t require a lot, it was purely built on love and never had one doubted the other or the fact they wanted to be together.

“I want to get the triplets a present... I just want it to be a surprise, with Benji being back and everything.” Oh how grateful he was that he was incredibly fast at thinking on his feet. It may have been a complete and utter lie, but he could hardly see his parents approving of him seeing Ian again. Especially completely out of the blue.

“Alright then. What time?” Once more Gavin was speaking; Rhys seemed far too absorbed in the TV show to actually be listening to his son.

“About eight o’clock. I want to go late so that they don’t really want to come with me.” There was always a reason behind everything, he knew that and oh how he knew to invent them.

“Don’t bother us before and you have a deal. Now go play with them or something.”

*8:45pm, outside HMV*
Ian’s *pov*

Why did I suggest this? Am I a complete idiot? What if he doesn’t show up? Then I’ll end up being one of those sad stood up people. Ian Watkins does not need that on his reputation; I just built a good one up and everything.
I love him to bits though and I love those triplets as well. I might not have been a part of their lives so far, but I want to change all that. I want to be a good dad. I just want him to understand all this, give us another try or at least include me in things. I hope this all works out.
My heart is pounding against my ribcage, it wants to break free. I can feel the blood pulsing around my body. I feel physically sick. Never do I put myself in situations like these. Never. Oh god I can see a head of platinum blonde hair in the distance. It’s him. I know that silhouette, it was engraved in my mind oh so long ago, and it’ll never disappear. He hasn’t changed.

“Sean, I’m so glad that you came.” My voice shook as I spoke, I could feel my hands shake inside my jacket pockets.

“What’d you want? Let’s just make it quick.”

Ooh nice way to stab me in the heart Smith.