As Dead as They Come

Halloween is something most kids look forward to, no matter the age. For tiny tykes it means a night of dressing up, trick-or-treating, and getting a hoarde of candy. For teenagers it means a night (and in some cases a week) of dressing up, partying, and living it up the dark and festive way. Under any normal circumstance, I'd be looking forward to the latter category of halloween festivities as much as the next fairly-average senior. Alas, this year I was down for all sorts of counts with the mother of all colds, conveniently on the year of all years for my younger brother of one grade to be throwing the most-anticipated party of the season at our house.

Our single mother was one of those be-a-friend-to-your-kids type of parent, rather than the ones that actually put effort and discipline into raising their children. Or she was just lazy... Or had relaxed morals. Eh, probably both, my brother and I are living proof of that one. In any case, the house was my brother's for halloween night, with a promise to A) not destroy it or any furniture, B) not let any horny teenagers into her room, C) clean up any and all abhorrid messes produced during, and D) If I agreed to act as the "laying down the law" figure. Of course I said yes, my brother has more respect for me than he does for our mom. And the fact that she was letting him throw a giant party here to begin with was fricking awesome, especially since she'd be gone the whole time. Turned out, she had her own party to attend. But that's the life of a young and popular 34-year-old mama, I suppose.

So when I started coming down with a mild head cold a week before the 31st, I wasn't too worried. By the time the 30th came around though, I had to miss school on the account that it felt like I'd been hit by a freightliner upon waking up, and you can bet your bottom I was a little panicked. My immune system wins no awards, there was no way I'd be any better by All Hallows' Eve, and thus the party.

Like any other loving, concerned brother, Alexander took pity on me.

"We can paint you up like a diseased zombie and chain you to the sofa, so when you puke your guts out, you'll look the part."

"One, I have a cold, not the flu. Two, I've never heard of a zombie that pukes its guts out."

"You don't play the right games, then," Alex said, pausing in hooking up a large set of speakers to answer a flood of texts. I sank lower into the couch that I was lying miserablely on, covered in blankets. It was the last article of furniture still left in the bare living room, all the other pieces removed to make room for a dance floor. I glowered as I watched him tap away on his touch-screen.

His naturally muscular frame and boy-bandish good looks earned him a ticket into the in-crowd pretty much the minute he hit puberty, which enabled him a turn at hosting this year's big party. Luckily for the rat, we had a sizable back yard. Lord knows the crowd this thing drew in would never entirely fit in the house.

"You still wearing that gorilla suit?"

"Mhm."

"Good. You won't have to tell people it's your face when they ask where you got that ugly mask."

"Fuck you," he muttered with a half-smile, utilizing his charming vocabulary.

"Are you still gonna dress up while you mope alone upstairs?" His voice came from behind the speakers as he messed with the wires on their backs.

"Maybe, maybe not. I will if I can drug myself up to the point where I can come out of quarantine."

"Doubtful."

"I appreciate your faith and support."

He cackled as he reappered from behind the tall speakers, face in his phone as he answered. "Hey, better you than me. Sucks to suck."

I rolled my eyes before closing them against the pounding headache that was starting to come back.

"So why the gorilla suit, anyway? You lose a bet?"

"It's for a bet, actually." Alex flicked on the cable strip to activate the multi-colored dance lights that filled the room with flashing colors.

"And what bet is that?" I wasn't entirely sure I wanted to hear the little snot's answer, really. He turned the decorative lighting off before he gave me a cheesy grin.

"Whether I can get laid in it or not."

----*----

"Jay, baby, you're awake!"

"Now I am."

"Still not feeling well enough for the big bash your bro's throwing?"

With the way I look, I'm surprised our bimbo-cousin even asked such a stupid question.

Then again... Maybe not.

"No, but thanks for the concern, I guess."

"It sucks sooooo haaaard that you have to miss out on the hugest party of the semester," Laura said, rounding my bed to give my arm a sympathetic pat-pat. "I know how much you love these parties. And with you being a senior and all... It's kinda your last one!"

I sank lower into my mound of blankets. "Thanks for the wonderful reminder."

"Well, I'll let you get back to snoozin', I just dropped in to check on you." After a flick of her dirty blonde hair, she moved to the door of my bedroom. "I'm gonna run downtown and get the pizza and wings for Alex. Feel better!" With a flash of pearly whites and a wave, Laura was gone with a click of heels down the hall.

I wallowed in my misery for a good twenty minutes after my cousin took her leave. But just as I was drifting off into a cranky, medicated slumber, another familiar deep voice filled the hall from downstairs, rousing me with a start.

"JAYDEN, YOU DUMB SLUT."

"JJ, we bring tidings of medical magic and hope for a night to remember!" I recognized the second voice as well, echoing sweetly down the bare hallway outside the door that Laura forgot to close on her way out. Footsteps pounded up the staircase, and I crawled under my pillow in a last-ditch effort of avoidance.

"Jay, are you sleeeeeping?" My friend Cara whisper-shouted as she rapped on the doorframe loudly.

I hated people right about then.

"Come on, retard, we're here to help you so get that bug out of your ass. Crank," Vince added.

Oops. Guess I hadn't noticed that sneaky middle-finger slither out from under my cover. Bad finger. Bad.

"Stop it, you big jerk, she's on her death bed," Cara chided, her voice low and commanding. I could picture Vince making a face and mocking her behind her back as I felt Cara sit beside me on the bed. I wiggled onto my back, the pillow over my face and my arms wrapped around it.

"JJ? I'm sorry for intruding, but we're here to help you, you introvert." As Vince began to say a sarcastic comment, I chucked the pillow in the direction of his voice. It fell short. I looked at Cara as I sat up against the backboard.

"Jesus Christ-"

Both of my friends physically recoiled from me.

"Dressing up as death for tonight, are we?"

"JJ! Why aren't you in the hospital!" For the first time all week, I laughed. I think the sound only concerned them more.

"I'm not that bad, guys."

"Have you looked in a mirror recently?" Vince muttered, edging backward inch by inch.

"Hun, your eyes are red and puffy, you look like you haven't seen the sun in days... Your hair... Nevermind, let's not talk about your hair. Are you sure you just have a cold?"

I knew they were probably exaggerating. I had told them it was one heck of a cold, little drama queens. "Yeah, it's just kicking the snot out of me. Now what medical magic did you bring? Time's wasting."

"Well it's pretty much the strongest cold medicine I could get over-the-counter at the pharmacy... Load up." Cara tossed me a box of meds from a plastic bag. It hit my chest before falling into my lap, and I opened it to pluck out the pills.

"Vince, go make yourself useful and get me a glass of water." He narrowed his eyes at me. "Please." After holding Cara's pointed look for a moment, he slunk out without a word. He returned at an impressive speed with my water.

"Drink up, sleep up. Vince and I'll be back before the party to see if you're well enough to join in. We've gotta go change into our costumes," Cara said, "Good luck." She pushed Vinny out of the room, I kicked back the strong cold meds, and my face hit the pillow.