As Dead as They Come

Cara stood in the master bathroom with me, wriggling her lithe body into her black tights and leotard. I helped her pin the black cat tail onto the back. She had whiskers and a little cat nose painted in black on her freckle-dusted face, as well as a black headband with felt cat ears glued onto it. The triangles of cloth poked from the top of her curly, red-haired head.

"How do I look?" she asked, and I squinted at her through my fog of medication.

"Cute. Attractive. Appealing, but not too slutty." She responded with a thumbs-up, while mouthing bingo. I turned back to the mirror to resume applying dashes of black and brown eye-liner to my jawline, where they resembled a certain someone's chinstrap. My dark hair was pulled back and tucked under one of my brother's vibrant flat-brimmed hats. My smaller frame was adorned in Alexander's baggier, douchier clothes. The jeans were even belted to strategically sag past my butt, exposing a nice pair of my brother's striped Calvin Klein boxers. If he was going as an identity-hiding monkey-man, I was going as him.

I never really acknowledged how alike we are in appearance until then, when my costume was complete, and I looked into my own cloudy-green eyes in the mirror and could've sworn I was looking at the little snot's.

"Jesus Jay, you sure you and Lexi-bear aren't twins?"

"Eh. Funny thing is, we have different dads. I guess we both take after our mom."

"Obviously. He's gonna have his mind blown when he sees you," Cara chuckled, and we headed for downstairs where the first of the party-goers had already started arriving.

"He'll be too busy reelin' in the ladies, yo!" I clopped down the stairs in his oversized skater shoes, imitating my brother's voice and swagger as Cara snorted behind me. We ran into Vince at the bottom.

"Uh... Nice to see you up and about, Contagion. Cara-cat, that's precious."

"Vinnie, look at Jayden and tell me she doesn't look exactly like Lexi."

He gave me a once-over as I flicked my head at him and crossed my arms in a pose.

"It'd be funnier if he dressed up as you as well, but the resemblance is scary." Cara and I laughed in agreement.

"What are you supposed to be, Vinnie?" I asked. He looked at me indignantly, scoffed, and ran a hand through his messy, temporarily-dyed brown hair.

"I'm the Doc-tah," he breathed in a british accent, shocked by my lack of recognition.

"The Docter!" Cara squealed as she pushed past me on the bottom step to jump on Vince. "You look great! It's from Doctor Who, you've never seen it, JJ?"

"Heard of it, but no. You big nerds." Vince straightened his bowtie as he shot me a look.

"Nerds are cool." Again with the accent.

"Holy... Jayden, what the hell?" Alex entered from the kitchen, a bowl of punch held carefully in his furry hands. He was fully covered from the neck-down in a thick gorilla suit, his black hair messy from being under the mask.

"Yeah, I'm runnin' this joint, you got a beef with me, bro?" I hopped off the last step to clop chest to chest with my brother. He grinned down at me.

"Oh my god, that's better than last year's."

Last year I had been a male drag-queen. It had been a riot. I wore some gaudy, revealing dress, didn't shave my legs for a month, and only had to add stubble to my face and a sock in my britches. Everyone thought it was hilarious, since I was a girl. 'Your boobs are so REAL!'

"Yeah, and I'm seeing a male-theme here," Cara added. Alex laughed as he went to finish his last-minute tasks. I watched him go, then surveyed the place. The little snot had really outdone himself, who'd have thought?

As the night finally arrived, the party erupted into full-swing, and the house was packed practically wall-to-wall with kids. It was a blow-out. I had to take it easy on the dance floor, being prone to light-headedness when doing anything more extraneous than standing still. I was glad the meds were holding up, I really had thought I was doomed to miss this with the way that cold had KO'd me. Good thing my trusty friends didn't give up as fast as I had. I just had to pop those sets of pills every 4 hours, with only the occasional dizziness and slight pressurized sensation in my skull still persisting.

I hit on Laura to show her my costume, and she about pissed herself laughing. She was also the first person of many that night to tell me about some out of town kids who were at the party, some 'mega-hot guys from paradise.' But really, anything that had at least a scrap of sex-appeal and testosterone was considered 'mega-hot' to my cousin... Who was dressed as a slutty witch.

I located the first pair of said newcomers when I joined the crowd at the pong table, watching a big match go down. Two guys from my high school were up against a duo of dudes that I hadn't seen before. They looked similar; at first glance of their gloating faces, I thought they were twins. I also thought they'd be getting their bee-hines kicked by their opponents, seeing as they were the reigning pong champions at every party they graced. Thad and Thomas, captain and co-captain of the varsity basketball team. A very successful one, at that.

No such luck that night. The pumpkin-pounders were getting their butts handed to them on a solo cup-covered table-top platter as the mystery duo dunked circles around them. I have to say, it was a little surprising- and highly amusing - to learn that Thad and Thomas were such sore losers. It was ironic that they even dressed up in their basketball uniforms for the occasion of winning the halloween pong tournament.

A cheer rose over the crowd as the winning shot was landed, and the newcomers cackled at the basketball guys before leaping up to bump chests. I tried to make out what the pair of unknowns had come as, but it was hard to tell. Probably characters from some video game, they had lots of dusty, sturdy-looking gear on, and even some holsters with fake guns and knives.

After the crowd settled down, I found a place outside to sit and get some crisp, fresh air. I saw Alex breeze in and out of the house every once in a while, mingling and checking up on the refreshments. The music could be heard from the open porch doors, where I could spot the mosh pit-like mass of dancing kids.

"So," a voice sounds to my left, startling me as I was trying to massage my headache away, "Where are you from?" I blinked up at the voice's owner, one of the pong champions, as they leaned against the back of my lawn chair.

"Uh... Here. I live here, this is my house." He tweaked an eyebrow. He had golden hair, straw-colored and feathery, and clearly in need of a wash. His cheeks were on the gaunt side, covered in a blondish, grimy stubble.

"That's... Interesting, I hadn't known there was anyone stationed here currently. Any luck?"

I blatantly stared at this man. Whatever joke he was trying to get across, it was going so far over my head. I know I could be slow to the take at these kinds of things, but my brain just throbbed worse the more I tried to decipher this weirdo's last few words.

"Luck?" was what my mouth decided to produce from my struggling thoughts.

"You wasted, little man? On the account that there was water in those beer pong cups, I'm guessing this is a BYOB kind-a thing. Or you're all a bunch of prudes." I bristled at his rude tone, initially. "I can't get my hands on a single drink. Is the punch spiked, at least?" He paused to take a good, narrow-eyed look at me. "You some little white rapper, or what? ...You look like you haven't hit puberty yet."

I suddenly decided I liked this coot. He was so... unfiltered.

"You just crawl out of some dank crypt, Laura Croft? Must've lost your gazungas in there somewhere." His black eyes held mine as I raised a brow slowly. He finally let out a wheezing laugh.

"I'd like to see how you and your crew dress for the job, runt."

"Cyrus, are you filling this poor guy's ears with ancient war stories, already?" The other half of the newly-reining pong team appeared from behind the coot and I, from the direction of the house.

"Och. This shrimp hasn't even filled me in with the run-down of this area. Apparently he lives here!" I could've sworn there was the smallest hint of Scottish there. I was also pretty sure they actually thought I had a Y-chromosome. Definitely not from around here.

"You don't say..." the new arrival circled my chair, crossing his lean arms and looking down at me through stringy blonde hair. Now that the two comparable guys were up-close and personal, I could tell the latest one was much younger. The grime and similarly sharp facial features like his companion's added a few years to the number I was trying to form for his age. Not any younger than me, I would say.

He propped a heavy, mud-caked boot beside me on the seat of my chair, leaning both arms on his knee. "So, little guy, any tips?" I stared blankly from the younger, personal-space invader to his older companion.

"On... the area?"

"Yes, the area!"

"If you would be so kind, little man."

Still confused to the verge of a temper-swing, I hesitantly thought I caught what they meant. "Well, it's halloween, you block-heads, the girls in the skanky costumes are the easy ones... But make sure they're over the age of consent, Croft. Aaaaand that one," I paused to point at a flouncing Laura, "Is my cousin, and she has a thing for blondes. Oh, and the upstairs is off-limits, so you'll have to score at home. Sorry."

They stared at me. As if I had just slaughtered a kitten in front of them.

I swear to god, both of them did for one solid minute, and not a word passed through their tightly clamped lips.

"This kid's high. C'mon, Mac, it's time to clear out. This place is clean." The older one stood from the chair beside mine, clapping his companion on the shoulder as he left. Mac, I guess his name was, snorted as he gave me a look and straightened.

"You're young. But don't be stupid enough to make yourself vulnerable, little guy."

I didn't even look to see where the two were headed. I rubbed my now pounding temples, and mustered the energy to get up and take another dose of my meds, wondering if those two weirdo's were the ones doped up on lord knows what.