Rotten Bones

I hadn’t heard from Ronnie or any of the guys until Tuesday night it, was quarter past eleven and I was cuddled up on the couch watching reruns of ‘How I Met Your Mother’ when there was a knock at the door.

It startled me I had no idea who would be banging on my door this late, I got up throwing an old flannelette shirt on over my little silk pajama set and went to the door. Peeking out the eyehole in the door I realized it was Ronnie and opened it slightly.

His hair was messier then I had ever seen it before, his clothes a little disheveled like he had put them on in a rush.

“Ronnie it’s late.” I mumbled looking down; I couldn’t make eye contact with him.

“I know, but I can’t let this go any longer Luce, I need to know what’s going on.” So I opened the door and let him in.

“Can you please explain to me what the hell happened that I missed?” He asked

“Nothing happened, it was nothing can’t you just forget it?” I rambled.

“No Lucy, don’t lie to me, come on.” I just shook my head I had no idea what to say or how to play this, do I just tell him to forget we ever met… “Okay so you tell me what part I'm missing we had sex, probably the best sex I have ever had and then I wake up to you trying to run out of my apartment dropping those stupid shoes and now you can’t even look me in the eye…”

“I don’t…I don’t…” I honestly had no idea what to say

“You don’t what…” he paused trying to finish my sentence for me he was so frustrated with me. “You think your just some girl for the night? Is that it?” He asks but doesn’t give me a chance to answer him “Lucy you are the first girl I have had sex with in almost three years.” His voice gains an octave as though trying to prove his point to me, that I'm not just some girl he wants sex with, but that doesn’t change anything for me.

“Its not that Ronnie.” My voice is angry but I think I might cry watching him pull at his hair.

“Then tell me!” He yells and I don’t want t be blunt I don’t want to say it scares me that you went to jail for two and a half years and I have no idea why. So I try to word it differently.

“It’s the fact that your hands shake and that you have trouble with crowds and talking to people, it’s the fact that I don’t know why Ronnie.” And for the first time all night I make eye contact with him. I can see the sigh leave him and he closes his eyes like this is what he had been dreading and then he gets defensive.

“You want to know so bad, then fucking Google me.” He’s not yelling but I get the feeling he wants to.

“No!” This time I'm yelling “I don’t want to, I want you to tell me, but I don’t want to force you or pressure you but I can’t keep doing this whatever this is without knowing.” I feel like I have run a marathon and I can’t get my breath back.

Ronnie walks past me slipping his hand into mine and pulling me onto the couch with him. I curl my feet up on the lounge and face Ronnie and he continues to play with my hand as he speaks.

“Okay, Max and I were best friends okay he was practically my brother we started my old band together and anyway he got into some trouble with this guy and it escalated into ‘a okay you bring your friends I bring mine and we will sort this shit out once and for all’…” He pauses trying to think about how to word the next part it’s like I can almost see the cogs turning in his head.
“And it got messy and people bought weapons and before I knew it there was a gun and I watched a kid get shot, and he was only a kid he was 18 and he died... I didn’t bring the gun and I didn’t shoot him but I was found with knuckle busters and a small knife on me and I was convicted for battery. I failed to meet my probation, but you know that already and they wanted to make an example out of me I guess you know I was the famous one.”

I was silent cause I had no idea what to say and cause I felt like he almost needed to talk about this, like if I let him he would keep going.

“The guy who killed him, was my friend he knew he fucked up he killed himself a day later, I was in such a bad place Luce. I couldn’t function without something in my system and I wanted to leave everything behind and instead I ended up in jail. And nothing is the same as it used to be.”

I was so shocked by what he had said, I mean I previously hadn’t even tried to guess his reasons for going to jail, and now I couldn’t even be upset with him because he seemed to be so upset with himself. So instead I crawled into his lap and brushed his hair out of his face and ran my finger over the teardrop tattoo and forced him to look at me. Before placing a small delicate kiss to the corner of his mouth.

“Come to bed Ronnie, it’s late.” I mumbled.