Lounsbury Prep

Zayn had been right, more right than he’d ever been in his life, and he felt sick to his stomach when he thought about it. Louis hadn’t so much as made eye contact with Zayn since he had asked to spend less time together, and it was clear the blue-eyed boy had taken the suggestion as a breakup, despite Zayn’s insistence that a split wasn’t what he wanted.

So instead of re-watching episodes of Glee that he really already knew by heart, he stayed holed up in his dorm room, pretending to study while actually just moping. His watery eyes scanned over the words as he fought to keep his tears from falling, but his mind didn’t grasp anything he read. Harry’s suggestion had truly only made Zayn’s floundering focus on academics worse.

Zayn was so consumed on moping that he barely blinked when Liam entered the dorm room, slamming the door against the opposite wall hard enough to elicit whispers from the students in surrounding rooms.

“Malik,” Liam snapped, closing the door behind him so no one could hear the conversation, “this has got to stop.”

Zayn brought his eyes up to face his roommate, looking pathetic. “What?”

“It’s obvious that you and Louis are fighting. Both of you have been silent and awkward and upset the past three days, and it’s getting ridiculous. What even happened to make you guys want to avoid each other so much?”

Zayn had wanted to keep it a secret. He didn’t want to put the burden of what had happened on their mutual friends, boys who might have taken the news as an announcement that they had to choose a side, commit their loyalties to either Zayn or Louis. He didn’t want to tear the group apart.

But instead of shrugging and saying that nothing was wrong, Zayn’s mouth opened, and all the words and worries and concerns from the whole relationship poured out of his mouth. Liam looked shocked that Zayn had so much to say at first, but he soon sat in his desk chair and watched the newer boy intently.

It took about a quarter hour for Zayn to finish his story, his face going hot and red with intense frustration, and Liam listened to every second of it. Zayn must have underestimated how willing his roommate was to listen to his problems, and he felt sorry that he hadn’t realized the quality earlier.

“That sucks,” Liam stated sympathetically once the half-Pakistani boy finally fell quiet. “I didn’t realize that your going out with Louis was going to be so complicated.”

“Neither did I,” Zayn admitted. “And more than that, I hate that Louis thinks I’m ashamed of him. I could never be ashamed of him. If anything, he should be ashamed of me, the poor little Bradford Boy who’s too afraid to admit to the world that he’s gay.”

“It’s not about fear,” Liam corrected. “It’s about whether you think it’s appropriate or not, and telling people is up to you. I’m positive that Louis doesn’t hold that against you. I think he’s just upset that you’re the first person he’s seriously cared about in years, and you’re pushing him away.”

“That’s not what I’m trying to do.” Zayn noted that his tone was starting to sound desperate, but he didn’t have the willpower to change it. “I just need to keep up my grades, and if I’m going to manage to pull off A’s and B’s, then I can’t rush through my homework and reading material to get to Louis’ room.”

Although Zayn felt his cheeks warm with embarrassment, Liam didn’t seem to find the statement the least bit noteworthy. “Well, of course not. You’re not going to learn anything that way. And I’m sure that Louis will come around and realize that soon enough.”

The amber-eyed boy let out a harsh sigh and threw his head back against his pillow. “I hope so. I hate sitting here, thinking about how much Louis hates me.”

“He doesn’t hate you. Hatred requires anger, and he’s not angry at all. He’s more mopey and miserable, really.”

That didn’t really do much to soothe Zayn’s concerns. “I don’t want him to be upset, either. I just want him to understand.”

“Once the sting of the initial argument fades, he’ll understand.” Liam’s voice was sure and absolute, and Zayn couldn’t help but believe him. After all, Liam had known Louis much longer than Zayn had, so Zayn couldn’t really dispute anything that came down to how well he knew Louis. “Just give him a bit more time. He’ll come to you when he’s ready.”

“What if he doesn’t?”

For a long minute, Liam was silent, and Zayn started to wonder if the words had stayed in his head, his mouth too afraid to utter the possibility aloud. But finally, Liam grinned and said, “Has he ever been too afraid to make a first move before?”



Zayn poked his mashed potatoes with a fork at dinner, trying to ignore the fact that Harry and Niall were watching him like he held all of life’s secrets in his dark hair. Liam tried to divert his friend’s attentions, starting conversations about things none of them really cared about, while Louis was very obviously absent. Although they’d never communicated about the subject, it seemed that Zayn and Louis attended alternating mealtimes, avoiding each other at all costs. And judging from Harry and Niall’s reactions, the others were starting to pick up on the blatant fact.

“So in chemistry, what did you guys get for the answer to number three?” Liam questioned just a little too loud to be normal in his sixth attempt to distract Harry and Niall.

They still didn’t bite. And then Harry groaned loudly. “God, it’s been days! I know that something happened between you and Louis…” He stopped and stared at Zayn as hard as he could. “Wait, did you break up with him?”

“No.” Zayn’s poking turned into more of a stabbing motion, and a clump of potatoes broke away from the rest of the pile and landed on top of a tiny piece of broccoli. “I said that I wanted to spend more time on my schoolwork, which meant that I wasn’t going to be able to spend as much time with him.”

“Sounds like a breakup to me,” Niall stated point-blank, which got him an elbow in the ribs from Harry. “I mean…um…”

The curly-haired brunette rolled his eyes at his friend’s pathetic attempt at picking up the broken pieces of the conversation. “There’s a line. I feel what you mean. You want me to talk to Louis for you?”

“Tempting,” Zayn stated plainly, “but I want him to forgive me on his own terms. I don’t want you to talk him into it.”

“I could do it, too. I can be very convincing when I want to be.” Harry’s nose was in the air confidently, keeping his eye contact with Zayn as he picked up the last piece of steak on his plate with his fork and popping it into his mouth.

Zayn raised his eyebrows to humor the other boy before sighing and putting the piece of silverware down on his plate, making a soft clanging noise that was barely audible over the din of the dining hall. “I’m going to my room to study for history.”

“Not coming to watch Glee again?” Niall called after him.

Zayn turned back just long enough to give the blonde Irishman a glare he hoped communicated just how much he wanted to kill him in that moment.

“God, Niall, where’s your tact?” Harry scolded, hitting his friend off the side of his head. “Some people today just have no manners.”

Zayn’s mind drifted to how Harry had been the one searching for answers just a few minutes before, but shook his head and walked out of the dining hall without saying another word.