Fame ***

I took a deep, calming breath as I stood backstage before the interview, rubbing my hands together to try to get rid of the sweat that was starting to accumulate on the palms. Ellen had gone into my dressing room earlier and gave me a bit of a pep talk, saying that I should just try to relax and be myself, since that was what people connected with. “Plus, most people are watching for my humor, anyway.”

I laughed a little, the sound shaky with nerves, and she’s winked and elbowed me in the arm. “You’ll be great. Don’t worry about it.”

Her words, while a sweet gesture, hadn’t done much to calm my fears. Standing in front of a camera and reciting lines was one thing, even with all the crew people watching me, but trying to be myself in front of a huge audience was entirely different. Although they would edit the interview before I went on air, I was still live for the audience, and if I said anything unflattering or rude, they would spread word all over the internet about how incredibly unpleasant I was.

Soon, Scream and Shout by Britney Spears and will.i.am started blaring through the speakers, tearing me from my thoughts, and I was given my cue to go out on stage. My heels clacked hollowly against the ground as I headed toward the chair, turning and waving to the crowd. They screamed my name, waving like mad, trying to make eye contact with me.

I added a little bounce to my step, invigorated by the energy, shaking my hips to do a little dance, even though my rhythm wasn’t the greatest. Ellen laughed from the other side of the stage and started to do a little cha-cha dance where she was standing.

When I reached her, I grinned and hugged her, taking in her warm, soothing scent. I wondered if she did that on purpose to make people feel more comfortable, or if she just naturally smelled like that.

“Well, hi,” Ellen greeted with a wide smile. “How are you doing?”

“I’m doing pretty well, thank you,” I responded. “How are you?”

“Oh, I’d say pretty well.” She turned toward the crowd, her hand moving down to the knee that rested on the top of her crossed legs, and asked the audience, “What about you guys?”

There was a chorus of screams that nearly made me deaf, and my heart started to race even faster. Although the noise had been encouraging as I was walking out, I had been hoping that I’d forget their existence.

“So, let’s get started right away, okay?”

Her blue eyes were wide, expectant, and I found myself saying, “Oh, no.”

The chuckles echoed around me, including Ellen’s soft one, and I straightened up, starting to get some of my confidence back. I could make these people laugh. Even if they hated me, I just had to use a little charm, and everything would fall into place for me. It had always worked before, so why had I ever let doubt enter my mind?

“No, I’m not going to talk about that,” Ellen continued, winking, getting the audience riled up again with hysterics. “God, Lilah, this is a family show.”

I found myself giggling, trying my hardest to keep my behavior demure and held together to keep from looking ridiculous.

“What I’m talking about,” Ellen continued, “is the fact that you were spotted all over L.A. with me.”

Images flashed on the screen behind us with various pictures of Niall and me, running various errands, walking down the street to the restaurant, when I was leaving his hotel room, and a couple others. The audience roared with laughter at Ellen’s joke, and I snickered a little bit myself. “He kind of does look like you with those sunglasses,” I allowed, observing the last picture in the sequence that froze on the screen, becoming the background of the interview.

“You know that Niall and I are twins, right?”

“Oh, yeah. Of course.”

“He mentioned it?”

“How could he not?” I bit the inside of my lip to keep from laughing, since I wanted to match her deadpan delivery.

“And you know that, sometimes, you were with me, and other times you were with him, right? We like to do that switching thing.”

“I thought he was acting a little strangely sometimes.”

Ellen narrowed her eyebrows at me before saying, “Are you saying that I act strangely, or that he does?”

“Him. You’re much more fun.”

She laughed, not expecting my fast, witty answer. For a second, I remembered how he’d spoken so sweetly about me on his interview in the UK, but I guessed Ellen’s talk show wasn’t really about gushing about new love. Unless she asked something to point me in that direction, anyway.

“But in all seriousness, let’s talk about Niall for a second. Are you guys officially a thing, or…?”

“We haven’t made it completely official,” I replied, “but I think it’s heading in that way. Right now, we’re just trying to see how well we’re able to keep up a long distance relationship, calling and texting each other whenever we’re free. It’s hard with the huge time difference, but we’re making it work.”

“I think you’re the first person who’s actually answered a relationship question on my show. Most people just say, ‘I’d rather not talk about that’, or they deny everything, no matter how hard I stare at them.”

“I like to think I’m a pretty open person.” Then, I laughed lightly and gestured to the screen behind me, which was still showing the image of Niall and me holding hands. His head was up, probably looking for paparazzi, while my eyes were facing the ground, my free hand brushing away the hairs blowing around my face. “And it’s not like people don’t know already, anyway. What would be the point of lying?”

“True,” Ellen agreed. “And you just avoided my wrath, so Tony’s going to have to get it.” She leaned around me, narrowing her blue eyes to pretend to be angry, staring right at the tall man behind the DJ stand.

He looked up and jumped, clearly not having paid attention to the interview, and immediately burst out laughing.

“That’s right. He’s scared.” Ellen straightened back up and, upon hearing the chuckles of the audience, brushed off her shoulder to show that it had been no big deal.

We veered off the topic of Niall, instead focusing on my upcoming movie, where I could only give really minor details away, since we hadn’t even started filming yet. After about five straight questions that I said I couldn’t answer, Ellen sighed. “Remember when you said you were an open person, just a couple minutes ago?”

“Um, yeah,” I replied, my voice shaking with suppressed laughter, since I knew exactly where the topic was going.

“Yeah, you’re not.” She kept a straight face, while everyone around her found it the funniest thing they’d ever heard. I couldn’t believe how much energy the fans gave the show, just like actors always claimed they did, yet I never understood. But they really were like a heartbeat or something, bringing life to something that, otherwise, could be too dry and uncomfortable.

My segment was over, and I got sent backstage, where Ellen quickly joined me before filming the next part. “You were fabulous,” she rewarded me. “I told you that you could do it, didn’t I?”

I grinned and, without thinking about it, reached over and hugged her, which she reciprocated easily.

“Good luck, Lilah,” she granted. “You’re a lovely girl. Please stay that way.”

And then she was gone, someone patting some more powder on her face as she went, leaving me standing alone until I was ushered back to my dressing room and given further instructions as to where my car would be waiting.