Where Did the Love Go?

Nicole you home?” I heard Sid ask as the front door opened
“yeah Sid we are in here.”
“Daddy!” my two sons yelled as they ran towards their father. Sid picked them up in a hug.
“Hey boys. Are you being good to your mommy?” he asked kissing them both on the top of their heads.
“yes daddy. We are.” they both answered
“good.”
“ What did you need me to come over for Nicole?” Sid asked with a sad face.
“ Nothing the boys just missed you. I thought you could have dinner with us. They would really like it. So would I.” I said and gave him a small smile
The smile on his face grew and he said “ thanks.”
We sat down at the table. I decided to make Sidney’s favorite food lemon chicken. I didn’t know how to tell him that I still loved him, and that I wanted him back, but I thought that this might help him get the clue.
“Lemon Chicken?” he asked giving me a small smirk
“Yea well we haven’t had it since you left, so I thought that it was time.” I said sending a smile his way.
“why haven’t you had it?”
“I don’t know. I guess it just made me miss you even more.” I answered truthfully.
“I’m sorry I ruined things for you.” Sid said giving me a sad look.
“no its okay sid.” I didn’t really want to talk about it. I knew that it would be hard for me to trust Sidney again, but I needed him back in my life.
“Daddy will you stay and tuck us in?” Brent asked
“ if your mommy doesn’t mind.” Sid said asking me for permission
“can he mommy please.” Sid Jr. said
“of course he can.”
“thank you mommy.”
“your welcome.” I said giving him a small smile.
“daddy, why did you go away?” Brent asked. I have never heard either of the boys ask this question. It broke my heart to hear him ask this, the worst part is that I didn’t even know the answer.
“Brent I honestly don’t know. I was being a bad husband and I felt your mommy deserved better than me. I wish I never left Brent I really do.”
“I missed you daddy.”
“ I missed you too son. I missed all three of you.” he said sending a small smile my way.
I didn’t know what to say, it broke my heart to hear him say that.
We finished dinner and had a surprisingly nice conversation. Sidney got up to help me with the dishes.
“Sid its fine. Go watch a game with the boys.” I said with a smile
“ are you sure?” Sid asked walking up to me.
“yeah I’m fine.” I said smiling back. I suddenly got something in my eye and it started to tear.
“ you okay Nicole?” Sidney asked looking at me holding my tearing eye.
“oh yeah I’m fine I just got something in my eye.” I said still trying to get it out.
“ here let me help you.” Sid came as close to my body as possible. He put his hand on the side of my face and brushed the hair out of my eyes. He gently blew on my left eye to get the eyelash out.
“there.” he said still holding on to the side of my face but not letting go
“thanks sid.” I said but neither one of us moved. I was looking him in the eyes and he was staring right back at me.
“ I think you can move now.” I said laughing
“ What if I don’t want to?” Sid asked in a funny voice. “would you have a problem with that?” he continued
“ Surprisingly I wouldn’t.” I said trying to sound flirty, but my heart was racing so fast, that the words didn’t even come out sounding flirty. Sid’s face cam so close to mine, I could feel his breathe on my lips. His body was pushed up against mine and mine was pushing right back. He leaned down further so that his head was resting on mine. Our lips were only inches away. It sent chills down my spine. He started to move closer.
“mommy.” Brent said walking back into the room. Sid and I quickly pulled away.
“I’m sorry.” Sidney whispered and backed away
“yes sweetheart.” I said bending down on my knees so that I could talk to him at eye level. I was still trying to catch my breathe.
“mommy I have a boo boo.” he said holding up his index finger.
“ You do? Oh let me see it sweetheart. What happened?”
“ I hurt it with the truck mommy.”
“oh sweetheart I’m sorry. Here let me give it a kiss for you and that should make it better.” I leaned down and planted a little kiss on his finger.
“thank you mommy.”
“ your welcome Brent. Now go watch some hockey with your brother and father.” I said and he ran out of the room and into the living room. About a half an hour later I walked into the living room and my two sons were sleeping on the couch.
“aww the fell asleep?” I asked sid who had each of his sons on both sides of his body.
“yeah they did. We should get them to bed.” Sid said as he got up and carefully picked up Brent “can you carry up Sid or do you want me to?” Sidney asked.
“No I have him thanks though.” we walked the boys upstairs and laid them down and tucked them in.
“well I guess I should get going?” Sid said as we walked out of the boys room.
“ Sid wait can we talk for a few minutes?” I asked
“yea sure.” we walked back into the room that used to be our bedroom.
“ you didn’t change anything around in here?” Sid asked pointing to the pictures of the four of us that I had all over the room.
“ no it just didn’t seem right. I guess I just didn’t want to forget about what we had.”
“I’m sorry Nicole.”
“Listen Sid I don’t want to fight, but I just need to ask you some questions what happened to all that love? Where did it go? Did it just disappear?” I asked barley getting the words out and starting to cry.
“Nicole how could you say that? I love you even more now than I did when we first started going on. I have never loved someone so much in my entire life. If I could go back and do it all over I would. I would have never let you go. Letting you go will be the biggest mistake I will ever make. I know it is to late for this but if I could give up everything I had just to spend one more day with you I would. I wish I never left, I wish you would just take me back, but I know that wont happen.” he started to tear up. I have never seen Sidney like this ever!
“Sidney your wrong.”
“ about what?”
“about it being to late. It will never be to late for you.”
“Nicole? What are you saying?”
“ I guess what I am trying to say is that don’t go. Come back home Sid and I don’t know I guess we will have to get re married. I mean if that’s what you want.”
“ Umm. I would get re married to you but..”
“Sid don’t make excuses. Its fine, I’m sorry I just got carried away.” I cut him off
“well if you would have let me finished I would have told you that we are technically still married. I couldn’t sign the papers, and you didn’t wait to see me not sign the papers.”
“What?! Were still married?!” I said screaming
“I’m sorry Nicole I know I should have signed them, I didn’t mean to make you upset.”
“Sid you didn’t make me upset! You just made me the happiest person in the world.”
“ I doubt that.” he said smirking
“what?” I asked questioningly
“your not the happiest person in the world I am.” he said and crashed his lips down onto mine and lifted me up and through me on the bed. We made love that night and it was the most magical thing that I have ever experienced. I had my husband back, my family back, everything seemed like it was right with the world.
Today was the first day in the past 7 months that I didn’t need to remember the good times that I had with Sid. I was living the good times, I didn’t need to be reminded of the things that were happening.
Today I learned that love doesn’t disappear. People bury it in their hearts so that they don’t get hurt. But once you love someone, you can never stop loving them, its not possible. Love is something that you need to treasure and you need to be grateful for it, because in the blink of an eye it could be gone, and you might not be as luck as me and get it back.