Everything Has Changed

I named this thing "Everything Has Changed" because it's true. Everything has changed, I don't know whether to be happy about this or not. I don't know where I would be right now if things never spun out of control right when they did. Granted it happened at the worst possible time, but it did. It's gone. Done. Over with. There's nothing I can do to change that. But I can change how things end. That's my descision. If everything just sort of goes how it's supposed to be, I'm going to end up how I started. Lost. Completely lost. I'm still lost and I don't think I'm ever going to be found. I don't need someone to save me, like a cliche girl. But I've sort of lost myself and the only person who can find it is me. But I can't. I'm sort of lost in translation. I'm stuck. I'd like to he my old self again, but at the same time I don't. Because that girl back then was flamless. I find that the people we should look after most is ourselves. If you find yourself chasing after others you're eventually going to lose the one thing you've ever known. I'm paralyzed by time. It's crushing me. You all think I'm this crazy, stupid girl and that's completely true. I've held back so many words, but at the same time I've said so many things I wish I didn't. That's just how everything happens. If you dont move with the tides, you'll never make it to the center of the ocean. You have this moment right infront of you and you just reach out for a second and it's gone. I had a moment infront of me and I watched it walk away. It's like slow motion. You never know the true joy of someone's presence until they're not around you as frequently. You just sort of slip out of contex. Until, you eventually never talk. I mean you still know each others favourite colours and the sound of their voice, but it's not the same when you're sitting by yourself. You have to get up and fight for them. Don't stop ever. No one ever told me that. Go find your silver lining. Fight for the person you love and don't stop until they say the four world phrase that will change your life forever.