You Could Be My Compass

Someone was knocking on Jack’s door.

But he ignored it because 1) he hadn’t slept very well last night, 2) he knew exactly who it was knocking on his door at six in the motherfucking morning, 3) he hadn’t had enough time to calm down, 4) he was still pissed, and 5) he didn’t have anything to say.

“Jack!” Alex yelled from outside. “I’m sorry. Will you please come out and at least talk to me?”

Jack just stayed in his bed until he heard footsteps. He peeked out his window and saw that Alex was going back into his own house, but had left something on his front porch. Jack let his curiosity get the better of him and got up. He opened the door to find a Zero bar and a mug of what he knew was peppermint tea.

He didn’t even pick them up, just shut the door again and left them lying there. It wasn’t that he didn’t want them—he was never one to turn down a Zero bar—it was more that he was still really upset with Alex and wasn’t just going to accept his apology like that. What he did was pretty bad.

Sure, Jack hadn’t immediately told him about the scars on his back, but that was one thing. Alex kept so many secrets from him, and he was sick of being treated like a little kid. He hated the way Alex acted so…so god damn protective of him. There were times when it was cute, but he couldn’t just keep shielding him from the world. It didn’t work that way.

He knew he’d eventually forgive Alex. He just needed a little time.

——

Alex’s parents were walking on eggshells around him, acting like he was made of porcelain. Twice a day—once early in the morning and once at night—he went next door to Jack’s house, knocked for a few minutes, and left a Zero bar and a cup of tea. They knew it was an old tradition of their friendship and didn’t pry too much. But every day, he’d come back looking dejected, and it was obvious that Jack didn’t want to talk to him.

They didn’t know what happened between them—when they initially asked why Jack went back home, Alex said they “had a disagreement” and they hadn’t pursued the subject since—but it was plain to see that it was tearing Alex apart. He spent all day either in his room not making any noise at all, playing with his pets with that vacant look in his eyes, or sitting on the couch, knees tucked under his chin.

They were worried he was slipping back into the old Alex, the Alex that existed while Jack was gone. They didn’t voice their concerns. Not in front of him, at least. It was a tough thing for even just the two of them to talk about. The only time it was verbally mentioned was one night after Alex was up in his room. And even then, it was just Isobel asking, “Do you think he’ll try it again?” Peter knew she wasn’t referring to Alex trying to apologize. He shook his head, though he wasn’t entirely sure in his answer. Alex wouldn’t try that again, because Jack would come around before that. He had to.

——

It was the first of July, still fairly early in the morning. Alex had just had another unsuccessful attempt at apologizing to Jack. He was flipping through channels without really paying attention, but then something caught his eye.

It was his face.

He stopped on that channel and realized it was the segment on Jack’s disappearance and return. He vaguely recalled skimming through an email from the interviewer that mentioned something about airing it on July first.

Not like there was anything better to do, so he turned the volume up and started watching.

He already knew the beginning, and she hadn’t changed it much, so he watched the little snippets that rolled across the bottom, things that probably should have been huge news stories of their own instead of a quick line that disappeared in a few seconds.

Apple CEOs discussing new contract arrangements.

Okay, maybe not that one. That would put people to sleep.

Beloved jazz musician found dead at age eighty-two.

Maybe not that one either. Not enough interest.

Two bodies washed up on Georgia shore.

There! That one. That’s the kind of story that deserved more attention. Alex had to admit he didn’t know Georgia had a shore, although that was kind of stupid considering it was on the east coast, but he chalked it up to his lack of a geography class in school. But seriously…that was kind of important.

He started paying attention when she got to the part when Jack came back. She showed the footage of him and Jack goofing off on the couch, not narrating at the moment.

——

Jack was watching the news show about him and Alex. Miraculously, his TV hadn’t been cut off, despite the fact that nobody technically lived at the house anymore. He couldn’t help the way his eyes were glued to the screen, especially when it showed him and Alex during their interview. If you could call it that; it was more of just the two of them acting like they always did.

He was transfixed by Alex. Not by Alex himself, necessarily, but how Alex was looking at him. He hardly took his eyes off him the entire interview, and his expression was just so…adoring, loving, whatever the right word was. It was the same way he looked at Alex, and he got a warm feeling inside him at the same time as he got that icy cold feeling that washes over you when you know you’ve screwed up.

——

The commentary finally started up again as the interview drew to a close. “They’ve been through so much together, and it’s proven that their friendship can weather anything. If they can survive this, there’s nothing that can tear these two boys apart.”

Alex sniffled a little and turned the TV off. Well, that succeeded in depressing him a little more. He was trying to figure out what to do with the rest of the day when the doorbell rang. As he slowly got up, he ran through the options in his head:

It was either A) Rian/Cass/Lisa/Zack coming to check on him because he hadn’t returned a few of their calls, or B) …well, there wasn’t a B that he could think of.

So he braced himself and flung open he door, expecting one of his crazy friends to start talking a million miles a second and scaring the shit out of him.

But there was Jack, holding a Zero bar and a mug of tea. He hardly had time to register who it was at the door before Jack was setting the tea and candy down on the floor and lunging at Alex and throwing his arms around him, nearly tackling him in the process. “I am so fucking sorry. We’re Jack and Alex and we’re best friends and I overreacted and I’m sorry for flipping my shit and ignoring you like that.”

“You were right. I was treating you like a little kid and I shouldn’t have.” Why was Jack even apologizing?

“Not gonna argue with that, but…still. I shouldn’t have ignored you like that. Kind of a dick move. Um, I brought you a Zero bar and some peppermint tea and—”

Alex cut him off with a kiss. It was sweet but effective; Jack quit talking and smiled into the kiss.

There was the sound of a door being slammed open from upstairs, but neither thought anything of it, still kissing. It wasn’t until Alex suddenly felt a sharp pain down his leg that they broke apart. He looked down to find Jack the Ripper with the claws from one paw stuck in his leg while he looked up at Jack the human with innocent eyes. Jack bent down and scooped him up.

And that fucking monster started purring.

“Aww, he missed you!” Alex squealed sarcastically, checking his leg for serious injuries. Just a little blood. “Why does he like you?” he asked, sitting on the floor and taking a sip of tea.

“I dunno.” Jack shrugged, petting the evil thing like it wasn’t possessed by a demon. “Why do you like me?”

“’Cause you’re adorable as hell and smart and funny and fun to be around and you hog the covers even when I ask you not to and you want to impress everyone and you’re just a little more innocent than most people our age and you like celery with peanut butter and you—” It dawned on him that that may have been a rhetorical question. “I mean, I doubt that cats can pick up on stuff like that, but if they can, I guess he has good taste.”

“God, you’re weird,” Jack said, smiling and trying not to blush. “But um, thanks I guess.”

“Aww, Jacky, did I embarrass you?” he asked, leaning in like he was about to kiss him but instead moving at the last second and putting his lips by Jack’s ear. “Wanna hear a secret?”

“Sure…”

“Well, it’s not really a secret.” He got up the courage to say what everyone else had known for a long time and he’d come to realize over the past few days. “I love you.”

“I know.”

Alex pulled back, confused.

“Sorry. I saw the opportunity to make a Star Wars reference and I went with it.”

Alex had that humiliating moment of panic where he thought is he not going to say it back? before Jack asked, “Wanna know a not-so-secret secret?”

“Of course.”

“I love you too, Lex.”