You Could Be My Compass

“Jack, what are you doing up?”

Jack flinched at the sudden voice, his eyes not leaving the TV. He didn’t answer, just gave half a shrug.

Alex took it as an invitation to sit next to him on the couch, chin settling gently on his shoulder. “It’s three am, Jack. You haven’t slept in, like, two and a half days. You need to get some rest.”

He shook his head. It went to commercial and he sighed. “Can’t sleep.”

“You’re obsessing over this. I know you aren’t going to admit it, and that’s okay, but I can tell that you’re scared. And you know what? That’s okay, too.” He kissed Jack’s temple, smiling slightly.

“I’m not scared,” Jack muttered.

Alex pried the remote from his hand and turned the TV off, plunging them into almost total darkness. “Yes you are. You have got to take a break from watching the news, ‘cause it’s freaking you out.”

“No it’s not.”

“Jack, stop arguing with me. I know you, and I know when you’re spazzing about something.” He wrapped his arms around Jack’s shoulders.

Jack finally gave in. “I can’t help but freak out, Lex.”

“Why?” If Jack kept much more of this internalized, Alex was sure he would implode on himself. Better to voice his fears now.

“Because…” He paused for a minute, trying to figure out how exactly to word it. “Adam, he, he’s getting closer and closer to here, and people keep spotting him and they keep letting him get away, and it’s kinda scaring the fuck outta me and, and, and…” What he said next came out quickly, like he was embarrassed to say it and just wanted to get it over with. “Remember how I said I was sick of you treating me like I’m still twelve years old? Well…I dunno, right now, I still feel like I’m that same scared twelve year old that doesn’t know what the hell is going on and it just sucks.”

Alex gave his shoulder a squeeze. “You’re not that same little twelve year old. Know how I know that?”

“How?” he mumbled, eyes cast downward.

“Because you’ve lived through something most people can’t even imagine. You were thrown into one of the worst situations imaginable, and instead of letting you bring you down and depress you, for the most part, you’re a pretty happy individual. And the fact that you can admit to being scared shows that you’re not a total coward, ‘cause come on, Jack, how many seventeen year old guys are just gonna admit that they’re afraid of something or someone?”

Jack lifted his head, the corners of his mouth turning up a little. “I love you,” he whispered.

Alex bumped their noses together. “I love you too. Now will you please go to sleep?”

“Fiiine,” he agreed with a yawn.

“Yes!” Alex squealed triumphantly, standing up and taking Jack’s hand.

“And just so you know,” he said quietly once they were his bed, with his arms wrapped tightly around Jack’s torso. “There’s no need to be scared. I won’t let him get you.”

——

“This is not the same tree.”

“Jack, it’s my house. I think I know which tree was where,” Alex pointed out.

They were standing in his backyard, staring at the tree there was video of them jumping from. “No it’s not,” Jack argued. “The branch isn’t high enough.”

“Uh…we were eight when we jumped. I’d like to think that we’ve grown at least a little since then.”

“Hmm, I dunno. You’re pretty short,” Jack remarked, his voice teasing as he grabbed a limb and hoisting himself up. “Dare you to jump.”

“From which branch? That one?”

“No. That one.” Jack gestured to one that was much higher, at least thirty feet above them.

“Hell no!” Alex laughed, grabbing hold of a branch and climbing a little faster than Jack. He reached the one in question and pulled himself to a sitting position, legs dangling high above the ground.

“Aww, is little Alex scared of jumping?” Jack taunted, joining him on the branch.

“Shut up, Princess!” He noticed the way Jack grinned when he called him that. Rolling his eyes, he asked, “Do you like it when I call you Princess, Jacky?”

“Well…I mean, it’s not that, I just…I, well, yeah. I do.” His cheeks were turning bright red.

“You’re such a girl!” He pushed his shoulder ever so slightly—he had to be careful, considering that they weren’t on the ground right now.

“Says the one in purple skinny jeans,” Jack fired back.

They were laughing and talking so loudly that they didn’t notice Alex’s mom until she was right beneath them. “You two need to get inside right now,” she said tightly.

Decide now wasn’t the time to argue, Alex sighed and started to swing himself somewhat gracefully down the tree. Okay, maybe not so gracefully…he broke several smaller limbs and scratched an arm up pretty badly. But in his mind, it was graceful. Jack rolled his eyes at his boyfriend’s clumsiness and managed to climb down without a scratch.

Once they were inside, Alex was putting peroxide on his fresh cuts when he asked, “So what’s wrong?”

“What do you mean?” his mother replied, busying herself with the two plates in the sink, washing them both several times.

“I mean, you look like you’re about to have a serious meltdown, and you made us come inside, and I kinda wanna know why. So spill.”

“Your father would kill me for telling you,” she explained.

“Well fuck what Dad thinks! I love him, and you love him, and he’s pretty fuckin’ awesome most of the time, but right now he’s keeping shit from us and I don’t really like it and I feel like we—Jack especially—deserve to know what the hell is going on.” Then he smiled impishly. “Uh, pardon my French.”

His mother blinked at him for a few seconds, because how could she argue with that. She pulled a hand through her tangled hair—she really hadn’t been caring about her appearance much lately—and said, “Well…Adam Perkins was seen in Maryland a few minutes ago.”

He felt Jack tense beside him, instinctively grabbing Alex’s hand.

“I’m about to head over to the police station to discuss safety procedures; they should be coming over to make sure you two are safe.”

Alex nodded understandingly. “Okay.”

She smiled, a slightly worried smile, but a smile nonetheless. “Thank you,” she said, giving Alex and Jack each a hug.

“For what?”

“For not being too much of an argumentative asshole of a son, that’s what.” She gave them one more half smile before leaving.

“Was that a compliment?” Alex asked Jack, eyebrows raised high as he processed what his mother had just told him.

Jack laughed. “Take it as a compliment. You’re not too much of an argumentative asshole, Alex.” In a smaller voice, he asked, “Can we go upstairs? I, it’s safer up there. Not right in front of the front door or anything.”

If it had been a lighter situation, Alex probably definitely would have poked fun at Jack for that. But this was serious, and he understood. “Of course, Princess.”

He checked his phone and found several concerned texts from his other friends, such as the most recent from Cass. Hope Jack’s doing okay, just saw that that guy that’s after him is in Maryland. Stay safe. Love you guys. And one from Lisa to pretty much the same effect. From Rian, I hope everything is alright and if you or Jack need anything, let one of us know. But maybe not Cass or Lisa, ‘cause you know they’ll go totally fucking overboard. And from Zack, Dude, that’s fucked up about that dude that like wants to kill Jack. Zack’s text was definitely his favorite.

It was times like this when he really realized how much he loved his friends. They were great, no matter what their almost intolerable eccentricities were. They didn’t even know the full story about what was going on, but they were still worried about them. Turning to Jack, Alex giggled as he said, “I think my friends like you more than they like me.”