Daylight

It was the day Zayn was coming home and I was very unsure about how I felt about him coming. I didn’t know if he was coming home as my boyfriend or if he was coming home as my ex. I don’t think if we stayed broken up I could really be friends with him. I sat on my bed cross legged waiting for him to text me and tell me he was home. I looked at the door when I heard somebody lightly knock on the door. “Come in,” I said still looking at my mobile.

“Hi,” I looked up to see Zayn standing in my doorway.

“Can we skip the awkward hellos?” I asked getting off my bed and walking towards him. He just nodded his head and pulling me into his chest. “I missed you,” I whispered.

“I missed you too,” he said quietly before pressing his lips to the top of my head.

I just rested my head against his chest as he held me so close. This little moment of intimacy let me know that he still loved me. “I guess we should talk,” I whispered against his chest.

I pulled away from him and walked over and sat on the end of my double bed. He watched me for a moment before walking over and sitting next me. We sat there in silence for a moment before Zayn cleared his throat. “I don’t like us not being together,” he said speaking up.

“I didn’t like it anymore then you did,” I said looking over into his brown eyes. “I felt completely lost not being able to just call and talk to you.”

He reached over and grabbed my hand, and looked into my brown eyes. He was silent for a minute like he was trying to figure out what he should say to me. “If we get back together, I need you to promise me that you won’t relapse, that I won’t have to worry about you getting an eating disorder again. I won’t always be home so I can’t always look after you, but if you feel like you’re getting sick again I need you to tell me,” he said before pressing his chapped lips to the top of my pale hand.

“Zayn I want you to know that I don’t plan on getting an eating disorder again, I realize I need to just love who I am. I also know I want us to be together. Even if I can’t live with you and I have to live with my Brendon. I do truly want us to be together, and I will try my hardest to stay healthy,” I said letting him know that I just wanted us to be together.

“I love you Jude,” he whispered as he moved back on my bed. I smiled at him as I moved back on the bed with him.

He pulled me into his chest and just held him tight against him. I whispered, “I love you too,” just enjoying us being together.

We laid on my bed for hours watching stupid television shows, we laid there just acting like we did before I got sick. It was almost as if I never had my heart attack and Zayn and I never broke up. I had a feeling that things between the two might actually go back to the way they were before. I didn’t know exactly but I was hopeful that things between us were going to be okay.