These Days

With a grunt, I push the couch into place, finally satisfied with the temporary arrangement of the living room. It will change again soon, once I start the painting, redoing the floors, and of course new furniture, but for now, it will do.

All day yesterday I cleaned the first floor, spending it on my hands and knees, scrubbing. I opened every window and door, wiped down every countertop and table, and even went as far as to go and cut the grass.

But the second floor, that was another story.

Trudging up the steps, I grimace at the bare walls and dusty floors. My allergies have been on fire since coming to the house and I’m sure I’ll be more comfortable once every dust bunny has been cleaned out.

The only room on the top floor that is suitable for living in is the master bedroom and the en suite bathroom. It’s kind of become my base for everything within the last 48 hours.

With a huff, I collapse onto the bed, still in its unmade state, and curl onto my side. I didn’t have to be anywhere for a little while. Closing my eyes, I pray that my mind will decide to take a nap as well. My body may be exhausted, but my mind seems to be ready to run a marathon.

In fits of uncertainty, it skips from thoughts of my parents, to the house, and even to Gabriel, my ex.

I had ended things with him just a few short weeks ago, trying to sort out my life. I knew Grandma GiGi had never been particularly fond of him. She said he was too sly, too quiet, to be up to any good. At the start of our relationship, he was nice to have around, I liked him enough, and we were both going to FIT. A year ahead of me, he seemed to have his life planned out down to the perfectly tailored suit in which he would drop dead.

That wasn’t me. It had never been me. Hell, I doubt if it would ever be me, but I am trying. I am trying to do something with myself. My degree in interior design is a start and having two interior design companies within my immediate family isn’t a bad way to start my adult life. But, I still manage to feel hesitant about my future and what I want. Maybe it’s the gloom that still manages to hang over me after my grandmother’s death or maybe it’s just me worrying, but I just don’t feel like I’ll get anywhere.

And I’m sure being back here this summer wouldn’t help much. Just less than a football field away was a house where four professional athletes spent a lot of their time. If having four sons all turn pro in the same sport isn’t an impressive accomplishment, then I don’t know what is.

I smile to myself, thinking of Jordan’s shocked face yesterday when we’d run into each other. Literally.

He had been shopping with his girlfriend, Heather, for the picnic that he had extended an invite to, when we’d both been pushing carts and looking at our phones. I swear that he crashed into me, Heather made a comment about how she can’t leave him alone for ten minutes, and Jordan kind of gaped at me.

I knew who he was right away, of course. Not because I followed him in the league, but rather because he still had the same messy mop of blonde hair and bright eyes. His cleft chin was just as prominent as it had been when we were teens. If Jordan was a good looking guy then, he was a god now.

He had stuttered out an introduction once he’d recognized me and Heather apologized for his scatter brained-ness. (I could already tell I would like her.)

Eventually, I decide sleep won’t be coming, and I roll to the other side of the bed to where my phone is plugged in on a table. Unlocking the screen, I sigh at the time. It was time to start moving again if I wanted to at least be on time to this thing.

******

I settle onto a bench with Marc after we finish placing the last of the picnic tables into their respective places. Every year it seems like my mom invites more and more people and the preparations take longer and longer. This year, my brothers and I were out and about at 8 this morning to start setting up.

“Have you seen Eric?” Jordan asks, setting down the last of the coolers. “He went for more ice.”

Figures, he would be the one to run out at the last minute. People were starting to pile in from their cars and Mom might have a heart attack if he doesn’t move his ass and get back here.

“We’ll deal without him for now,” Tanya says, coming out of the house with Levi on her hip and Parker by her side. “Jare, you’ve got some gnarly sunburn going.”

I grimace and put a hand to my cheeks. It isn’t like it’s everywhere, just across the bridge of my nose and the apples of my cheeks. I’ve always been stubborn and decided to ignore my mother’s warnings about the sun. “Don’t remind me.”

Marc laughs and slaps me on the back before going in search of his own wife and kid.

“Ready?” Jordan asks, gesturing to the crowd of people milling about. He’s referring to the inevitable questions about when I’ll be coming to the NHL.

“Never,” I shake my head. “Let’s go.”

For almost a half hour, Marc, Jordan, and I play the good sons and talk and drink with everyone and Eric is still nowhere to be found.

“If that boy isn’t back here in 10 minutes,” my mother groans. “I’m not above sending him to his room.”

Dad laughs, rubbing her shoulder comfortingly. “Rick’ll be back soon. Go get something to drink and relax a bit.” He knows when she needs to step back a bit before she ruins the party for herself.

She’s not gone for two minutes when we hear another vehicle come up driveway and towards the house. There’s the sound of slamming doors and quiet voices. Soon, two people round the corner, laughing amicably.

Eric has returned not only with ice, but with Brianna Lombardi.

******

“You have no idea how glad I am that you passed me,” I sigh, relieved. “I don’t know what I would have done.” In true old car fashion, my Volkswagen Bug decided it was time to overheat at just the wrong time.

“You could have trekked it back to the house and taken the boat,” Eric offers with a smile.

“Not in these shoes, I’m not,” I say, hopping out of his truck. Sure, they’re flats, but they’re not the most comfortable footwear option I have.

“Ready for the reunion?” he asks as we start walking towards the back of the house.

“Nope,” I laugh. “Just kidding. Let’s do this.”

Apparently, Eric’s rescue mission made him rather late with the ice his mother so desperately needed and he excuses himself to dump what is left of it in the coolers. Although, I have a sneaking suspicion that it was just to get away from his mother’s wrath as she is the first person to have me in her clutches.

“How are you, my dear?” she smiles, approaching me with her husband by her side. “It’s been so long.”

I smile. “I’m doing as well as I can be, I suppose. How are you all?”

“We’re fine, just travelling to see the boys a lot,” Mr. Staal explains.

“What do you mean, ‘as well as you can be’?” I knew she would pick up on that.

I avert my eyes, looking at the crowd of people behind them where a few party goers watch our conversation curiously.

“My grandmother, GiGi- you remember her? She-she passed away a little while ago,” I say quietly. “She left me the house here.”

Mrs. Staal’s face softens and she puts a hand on my shoulder. “I’m so sorry, Bri. You’re grandma was such a sweet lady.”

I smile slowly. “Thank you, Mrs. Staal.” I can’t find the right words.

Mr. Staal squeezes my shoulder. “You’re grown up, I’d say. You don’t have to use the titles now.”

I smile at them, Henry and Linda, a real smile this time. “So long as you promise to never call me Brianna.”

“We never have,” Henry nods. “And we never will.”

“Now come on!” Linda happily takes me hand. “You’ve got to see everyone. I know you met Heather with Jordan the other day. And where did Eric go?” Her voice tails off as she leads me through a small crowd. Plenty of eyes watch me as I come through the crowd and I’m suddenly very glad of the cardigan I’d put over myself.

“Well look who it is,” Marc laughs upon seeing me. “Someone decided New York wasn’t too good for them.”

“Marc!” Linda swats his arm, frowning. “What kind of welcome is that?”

‘A Staal one,’ I think.

******

She laughs at something Marc says and hugs him quickly before he introduces her to Lindsey and Michael. Jordan and Heather approach then and Bri looks relieved to see someone that she sees them. Eric follows soon after, carrying Levi, with Tanya and Parker.

“Go say hello,” my father prods my side and I jump. “Don’t just stare at her. And close your mouth.”

I set my empty beer bottle down and dust off my shorts from where I’d been seated in the grass, almost a little embarrassed I’d been caught staring.

This isn’t the same Brianna that had left. Of course, I’m not stupid and I know that it was inevitable. But her transformation was shocking.

Gone were the glasses and freckles and her hair now lays long down her back, straight and dark. She’s still tall, with legs on display in a pair of high waisted shorts. As I get close, I can hear her laugh, happy and loud, unchanged.

“And the last Staal,” my mom smiles, seeing me.

Bri turns and meets my eyes with her head cocked to the side, like she’s thinking. A smile breaks across her face and I can see that the braces she left us with did a good job.

“Jared,” she says as I come to stand in front of her. “It’s good to see you.”

“You too,” I agree, unsure of what to do. “It’s been a long time.”

She laughs. “I’ll say.” She puts her arms out. “I’ve hugged three Staal boys today, may as well make it four.”

I hug her quickly, awkwardly. She’s trying to put me at ease, I know, but I don’t know how to act around this new, adult version of Brianna Lombardi. Part of me wonders if she still likes to skateboard while another part of me believes that that thought is too ridiculous to think about when it comes to this beautiful woman.

I’m not some stupid high schooler anymore. I thought girls were supposed to make sense by now.