Determination

MARCH’S POV
 
I wasn’t at all surprised when Sidney leaned in and his lips met mine. I don’t want to think about later, about how James will react. He won’t be happy, that’s for sure. I closed my eyes and kissed him back. I’m not sure how long it lasted, but when I pulled away I could tell it hadn’t been enough for either of us.
 
I cuddled into him, my head under his neck, and I could feel his smile.  I sighed happily and sat up to look him in the eyes. He looked worried and he whispered, “Are you okay?”
 
I fell back onto his chest and replied quietly, “I don’t think I’ve ever felt better in my entire life.” I openly admitted.
 
His arms were wrapped around my stomach, and I couldn’t help but smile. I couldn’t function, think of anything at all to say. I just smiled blissfully and fell asleep at some point, my head on his chest.
*.*.*.*.*.*.*.*
I was being shaken to wake me up again, my name being whispered. My body jolted and I let out a little yelp before really waking up.
 
I looked into Sidney’s beautiful hazel eyes that were full of worry. I sat up and he massaged my shoulders. “Are you okay March?” He put his hand on my face and I nodded. I was crying again. He put his hands back on my shoulders, and I bit my lip and pushed my back into his chest. Sidney held my hands in his, and I closed my eyes. “March, are you alright?”
 
I opened my eyes to see his beautiful hazel eyes staring into mine. I nodded and looked at the bedspread. “I’ll be fine.”
 
Sidney looked worried, and he kissed me on the cheek. “Please talk to me, it’s okay to have nightmares. It’s alright to be afraid!”
 
I nodded, “I know and it’s not like I don’t trust you, I just don’t like sharing these nightmares with people. The only person I ever told was,” I couldn’t tell him. I couldn’t tell him who the only person who knows about the nightmares I would have every night back at home is Danny.
 
“Who else knows March?” He asked gently, moving the hair away from my face.
 
“Danny.” I said quietly.
 
He nodded, “Is that an ex boyfriend?”
 
I nodded and bit my lips, the tears threatening to spill from my eyes again. “He’s awful and I hate him! I don’t know how I could ever tell him something like that!” I said bitterly. “I hate him so much Sidney!”
 
He rubbed my shoulders again; to release some of the anger I was feeling towards Danny. “What did he do to you?”
 
I replied, “Well first, it’s how Allie became my best friend. I caught him making out with her, I didn’t know who she was at the time. She swore she had no idea who I was, and I believed her.”
 
* FLASHBACK*
 
I knew I shouldn’t be out here alone, in the dark cold, snowy winter night. I shifted my backpack to my other shoulder, and snowflakes started falling from the clear, wintery night sky.
 
I pulled up the hood to my UCLA sweatshirt. I always wanted to the University of Southern California; until someone told me it was very likely that I could get into University of North Dakota for hockey, or the University of Boston. So many great hockey players come out of those two great schools! I had to let my UCLA dream go, even though that’s where my mom wants me to go. It’s my decision, right?
 
A cold wind suddenly blew my hair out from under my hood and I shivered in the frigid air that was chilling me to the bone. I let out a big huff of breath, it transforming into a white cloud floating into the air as I did so. I was able to smile at the winter scene, and my lips cracked when I did.
 
Suddenly, I spotted Danny’s car. Maybe he can drop me off at home so I don’t have to walk the whole way.
 
I saw he was standing a little further off on the street corner with someone else. The mysterious “someone else” appeared to be wearing a beanie, and was shorter than Danny. I realized in the dim lighting it was a girl. I didn’t yell yet, instead I walked up to them, and that’s when he kissed her full on the mouth and they just totally started making out.
 
“Um, hello? Danny?” I shouted, breaking them apart. I must have not looked very threatening in my jeans with an intentional rip in the left knee (maybe not the best late December clothing choice), plus just my UCLA hoodie and beat up black converse.
 
I had been right; the girl was wearing a blue beanie and appeared to be wearing the same jeans as me, with the rip in the left knee. It looked like she had actually ripped the knee though, not bought it that way. She was wearing a yellow skin tight shirt, a gray, too big hoodie over it. Danny’s own sweatshirt that I had worn whenever I was cold. She had long, straight blonde hair and freckles. She seemed to have good teeth, but had braces.
 
“Danny,” Her voice was small and shaky. “Who’s that?”
 
I said, practically snarling, “I could ask you the same question. Danny, who is that?”
 
The girl looked at Danny, and back at me. Back at Danny, back at me. She said nervously, “Well my name’s Allie.”
 
“I’m March.” I said. “Nice to meet you Allie. Uh, sort of.”
 
Danny hung his head but said, “Well Allie, this is my girlfriend, March. March, this is my OTHER girlfriend, Allie.”
 
I lost it then, “Danny what do you mean your other girlfriend? When did you pick her up, while I was at a hockey tournament? Did you think that she could replace me?” I yelled rudely.
 
Allie looked taken aback but started firing at Danny too.
 
“How long have you had her? Am I not good enough for you and you need two of us! I gave it all too you, literally.”
 
I gaped at her, assuming she meant she went all the way with Danny, and even if I trusted him, I just turned 16 in August. Maybe she’s older. But she looks my age, if she’s not actually younger than me.
 
Allie asked me, “Hey March, do you go to school at Fairview Wilson Middle School? FWMS?”
 
I nodded, “Yeah. I’ll see you around, and I have to walk because I don’t trust you don’t have anyone else in the back seat of your car waiting for you.” I sneered at Danny.
 
I turned around and fought the tears as I walked the rest of the way home.
 
* BACK TO REAL TIME *
 
Sidney kissed my cheek. “I’m so sorry that happened. You know I’ll never do that to you, ever?”
 
I nodded, “I know. You’re great Sidney, my second boyfriend ever.”
 
He smiled and kissed my cheek again. “By the way, the game against the Washington Capitols was cancelled. Some freak snow storm down in the DC area, they were supposed to fly in but now they can’t.”
 
I nodded and cuddled back into his chest. “Alright. We should probably get some sleep anyway though Sid. You do look pretty tired, I can see it in your eyes.”
 
He nodded and looked down at the bed spread, “I’d stay up all night for you if you wanted me to March.”
 
I closed my eyes and yawned while saying, I think that’s the sweetest thing I’ve ever heard. Yeah, you’re so much better than Danny.”
 
He smiled and held me tight, his arms across my stomach, making me feel safe. “You’re really great March, just thought I’d let you know. You’re beautiful, funny, nice, kind, a great hockey player, a star and you can turn this team around and I love you, okay? I just want to make sure you know that you’re the best March Wilson. You’re are good as it gets.”
 
I kissed his cheek, “Yeah, I love you. But you know that already.”
*          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *          *
When I woke up, I wiggled out of Sidney’s grasp and down stairs. I searched around the pantry and cabinets for some breakfast food, and couldn't find anything.
 
I saw James had crashed on the couch, with the TV still on. Looks like a movie channel or something, and it looks a lot like he fell alseep on the remote, pausing the movie Poltergeist. I remember seeing that movie when I was kid. It scared the living hell out of me.
 
I sat down on the edge of the couch and whispered, “James, James.” He groaned. “Jamsey, can you help me find the pancake mix?”

"For what?" He asked, his voice groggy and his eyes still closed.

"To pour over my cereal." I said sarcastically.

James slurred, his voice blurry with sleep, "Milk's in the fridge."

I sat down and saw his hair still looked perfect. Only him. "Jamsey, I will Schedule you a haircut if you do not wake up right now and tell me where I can find some pancake mix so I can make you some pancakes."

His eyes snapped open "I'm awake!" I laughed at him.

I gave him some time to wake up, and we walked into the kitchen together.

"Here." James yawned and handed me the box of pancake mix. I took it while turning on the oven.
*************************
James and I made 24 goddamn pancakes, figuring it would be waaaaay more than enough for 6 people.

I guess neither of us had prepped for 6 HOCKEY PLAYERS, I didn't think I could consume 5 pancakes in one DAY, let alone one sitting. And each male hockey player wanted quite a few more. Plus we had Evgeni Malkin, Paul Martin, Tanner Glass, Pascal Dupuis AND Craig Adams at the door within minutes of each other.

So 24 more goddamn pancakes were placed on the top of the stove, lots of hungry (almost aggrivatingly hungry) male hockey players barking the order for MORE!

I finally sat down between James and Pascal, and James slapped me a high five. "Team work!" He said.

Marc Andre asked, "Oh um, March?"

"Yeah?"

He asked awkwardly, "You made these with Nealer?"

I nodded, "Yeah I couldn't find the pancake mix myself, and I saw that Jamsey here crashed on the couch, so I woke him up and he helped me make literally 48 pancakes for 11 hockey players."

Sidney scrunced up his nose but tried his best to hide it. "Jamsey?" He muttered under his breath and Marc Andre nodded his agreement.

Evgeni got up and said, "This fun. I go now, we do again tomorrow?"

I nodded, "Sure! We're going to need a lot of boxes of pancakes!" I said with a laugh as I watched him go. Maybe Geno and I will get along someday.