Status: Active
I Lost Him, but Gained You
These memories will never fade
“Morning Mom,” I say opening her bedroom door. She looks up from the album in her lap and smiles.
“Come and look at this, Grace.” She says patting the space next to her. I see her hair starting to gray under the sunlight, as small bags form under her sea green eyes.
I walk over in my pajamas and snuggle under the sheets. Looking over at the album, I see Matt and me on my thirteenth birthday. I had on a small party hat that said ‘happy birthday princess” on it. Matt had a cheesy smile on his face as he makes a peace sign behind my head.
“He looked so young.” I say smiling.
She nods slowly flipping the page. “He still is.”
We look through the picture in silence till she suddenly stopped. I look up to see her lips tremble, without a word I wrap my arms around her, letting her head fall onto my shoulder.
“I know mom,” she starts to sob in my arms. “Remember he’s in a better place now.” This seemed to make her cry harder. I close the album placing it on the night stand; I rub small circles on her arm till she falls to sleep.
I wait a little till I retreat to the door. Her body stiffens as I got up from her bed. “Grace?”
“Yeah,”
“I forgot to tell you something.” She says sitting up, leaning against the head board. “Well, it’s more of a preposition. Grandma and Grandpa are leaving tomorrow morning, back home, and they were planning to spend the summer on their yacht to explore. They asked if they could take you and Kenna with then, so you can get your mind off things.”
I take the time to think, spending my summer on a yacht. Maybe it would be the best, getting to experience being on a boat for the majority of summer and to clear my mind.
“What about you and Dad?” I ask before answering her.
“We’re going to stay back since we have work. But towards the end of summer, we’ll come out and join you guys. But we mainly want you and Kenna to go, I don’t want you two to spend the summer all cooped up.” She says.
“Alright, a summer on water doesn’t sound so bad.”
She smiles grabbing hold of my hands, “Thank you Grace, for being so strong. I know how close you were with Matt, this wasn’t easy for you.”
“I know Mom, I miss him. I know in my heart he ’s still with me, being himself, watching over and teasing me at times.” I laugh picking up the album.
Mom does too, I real laugh since Matt’s service. “That will always be Matt, that protective older brother, but at the same time the one who will pick on his little sister.”
I nod taking a picture from its spot. “I think I’m going to spend the day with Matt, and tell him the news.”
“Alright sweetie, tell him ‘hi’ for me.”
*
Getting out of my car, I grab a few things I’d brought from home. I head towards his grave under the cherry blossom tree, right under the shade.
Laying out the blanket, I sit down and lean against the trunk “Hey, told you I’d be back today.” I take out the picture I’d taken earlier. “Just thought I’d bring you a little gift, I found this picture with Mom this morning. My thirteenth birthday, remember what you got me as a present? A hamster, Mom almost killed you on the spot. Took us days to convince her to keep him, what was his name? Casper?”
I place the picture against the stone, and I pulled out the roses I bought before coming here.
“We named him Casper because he had to be like a ghost when Mom was around, or else she’d sell him.” I laugh putting the roses in a vase. “Guess what I found out today? Kenna and I are gonna spend out summer on a yacht! It’s gonna be great, three whole months on the water. And we get to spend time with Grandma and Grandpa; hopefully this trip will bring us closer together. But then again, you aren’t there, and we do everything together. But I know you’ll still be there with me, teasing me about how I can’t swim, or when I forget to wear sun screen and burn myself. You really were a mean brother you know that? How do I still manage to love you?”
It seemed that I was talking to myself, but I knew he was there listening. Laughing at the ridiculous things I had to say, bring back memories that were too embarrassing to even comprehend.
I keep staring at the picture before me, it’s been five years since that picture was taken, so much had happen in that five years. Too much actually.
We’ll always have our memories
“Come and look at this, Grace.” She says patting the space next to her. I see her hair starting to gray under the sunlight, as small bags form under her sea green eyes.
I walk over in my pajamas and snuggle under the sheets. Looking over at the album, I see Matt and me on my thirteenth birthday. I had on a small party hat that said ‘happy birthday princess” on it. Matt had a cheesy smile on his face as he makes a peace sign behind my head.
“He looked so young.” I say smiling.
She nods slowly flipping the page. “He still is.”
We look through the picture in silence till she suddenly stopped. I look up to see her lips tremble, without a word I wrap my arms around her, letting her head fall onto my shoulder.
“I know mom,” she starts to sob in my arms. “Remember he’s in a better place now.” This seemed to make her cry harder. I close the album placing it on the night stand; I rub small circles on her arm till she falls to sleep.
I wait a little till I retreat to the door. Her body stiffens as I got up from her bed. “Grace?”
“Yeah,”
“I forgot to tell you something.” She says sitting up, leaning against the head board. “Well, it’s more of a preposition. Grandma and Grandpa are leaving tomorrow morning, back home, and they were planning to spend the summer on their yacht to explore. They asked if they could take you and Kenna with then, so you can get your mind off things.”
I take the time to think, spending my summer on a yacht. Maybe it would be the best, getting to experience being on a boat for the majority of summer and to clear my mind.
“What about you and Dad?” I ask before answering her.
“We’re going to stay back since we have work. But towards the end of summer, we’ll come out and join you guys. But we mainly want you and Kenna to go, I don’t want you two to spend the summer all cooped up.” She says.
“Alright, a summer on water doesn’t sound so bad.”
She smiles grabbing hold of my hands, “Thank you Grace, for being so strong. I know how close you were with Matt, this wasn’t easy for you.”
“I know Mom, I miss him. I know in my heart he ’s still with me, being himself, watching over and teasing me at times.” I laugh picking up the album.
Mom does too, I real laugh since Matt’s service. “That will always be Matt, that protective older brother, but at the same time the one who will pick on his little sister.”
I nod taking a picture from its spot. “I think I’m going to spend the day with Matt, and tell him the news.”
“Alright sweetie, tell him ‘hi’ for me.”
*
Getting out of my car, I grab a few things I’d brought from home. I head towards his grave under the cherry blossom tree, right under the shade.
Laying out the blanket, I sit down and lean against the trunk “Hey, told you I’d be back today.” I take out the picture I’d taken earlier. “Just thought I’d bring you a little gift, I found this picture with Mom this morning. My thirteenth birthday, remember what you got me as a present? A hamster, Mom almost killed you on the spot. Took us days to convince her to keep him, what was his name? Casper?”
I place the picture against the stone, and I pulled out the roses I bought before coming here.
“We named him Casper because he had to be like a ghost when Mom was around, or else she’d sell him.” I laugh putting the roses in a vase. “Guess what I found out today? Kenna and I are gonna spend out summer on a yacht! It’s gonna be great, three whole months on the water. And we get to spend time with Grandma and Grandpa; hopefully this trip will bring us closer together. But then again, you aren’t there, and we do everything together. But I know you’ll still be there with me, teasing me about how I can’t swim, or when I forget to wear sun screen and burn myself. You really were a mean brother you know that? How do I still manage to love you?”
It seemed that I was talking to myself, but I knew he was there listening. Laughing at the ridiculous things I had to say, bring back memories that were too embarrassing to even comprehend.
I keep staring at the picture before me, it’s been five years since that picture was taken, so much had happen in that five years. Too much actually.
We’ll always have our memories