So Long and Goodnight...

Sunday morning.

You remembered a time when you would be sitting in church singing hymns right now.

Instead, you were stretched out on a couch in the Way's living room watching Video Wake-Up on MTV.

Usually it would be Sunday morning cartoons because, naturally, the six of you were avid protesters of growing up.

But this morning, no one (not even Mikey) felt like cartoons.

...Gerard had broken thewonderful news to everyone last night.

The overall reaction had been shock, followed by disappointment, which quickly boiled over into full on anger.

There had been a lot of yelling.

You had sat out of the way and watched painfully as Ray, Bob, Frank, and even Mikey ripped into poor Gerard like a pack of hungry wolves.

You were torn.

Part of you wanted to join in, claim your part of the "kill" and finally lay everything out in the open.

Another, much larger part of you wanted to jump in and defend him and go on with the fake smiles and lies that you had grown so used to.

Instead ...you did nothing.

You curled into a ball in the corner of the room and tried to block out the sounds of your world crashing down around you.

By the time the dust settled (which was only because everyone’s throats hurt from yelling so much, not because they had solved a damn thing) You had made up your mind that it would be much easier to keep pretending and carrying on as you had for so many years before this than to look Gerard in the eyes and tell him that the last six years of your friendship had just been a complete cover up for the fact that you were madly, deeply, and hopelessly in love with him.

You didn't stand a shadow of a chance against a girl like Alexa anyway.

Gerard was completely blind to anyone but her.

Shaking yourself out of your thoughts, you noticed the song on TV had changed and it was playing one of Gerard’s favorite songs, ‘Shadow of the Day’ by Linkin Park.

You turned your head just slightly to see Gerard leaning his head back where he sat alone on the couch, eyes closed as he mouthed the words to the song.

You tried not to stare …but you couldn’t help it. He just looked so adorable with his slept-in hair and still in his pajamas…

When you finally managed to pry your eyes away from him, you saw that Frank was gazing sympathetically at you. He glared at Gerard for a minute and then turned his head away in anger.

Just as the song ended, Gerard's phone rang.

The only people who ever called Gerard were the guys (all of whom were in plain sight with no cell phones out. Not that they were in the mood for practical jokes right now anyway.) or his parents who were still not back from their date last night and wouldn’t be until sometime this afternoon.

Gerard glanced at his phone, reading the caller ID and the idiotic smile that spread like a sickness across his face, though he tried to hold it back, told you exactly who it was.

Alexa.

“Hey, baby,” Gerard answered causing your already broken heart to shatter into much smaller pieces than you ever thought possible.

Instantly, everyone’s gaze (except Gerard’s of course) was on you. They all had a look of mixed physical pain for you and sheer unbridled malice for Gerard’s carelessness and idiocy on their faces. Even Mikey, whose eyes were constantly glued to the TV was gazing sorrowfully at you over his shoulder.

Gerard sounded like a love struck child as he cooed sweetly to the whore on the other side of the phone. You just wanted to throw something at his head and snap him out of whatever trance that witch had put him under for the second time. You were staring hard at him, willing him to just hang up the phone and never talk to her again. If only you could…

When you could stand it no longer, you pushed yourself up off the couch so fast that it kind of startled Ray, who you had been sitting next to. You reached for your pack of cigarettes on the end table which, to your severe dismay was empty.

You were shouting various harsh obscenities in your mind when you felt a nudge on your arm. You turned to see Frank holding out a cigarette and his favorite lighter to you with a slightly amused smile laced with sympathy on his face.

You took the lighter and cigarette graciously and smiled a thank you as you spun around and practically leaped out the door and onto the Ways’ front porch.

You were nearing the end of your precious nicotine laced escape when you heard a vehicle approaching and glanced up to see an old, yet vaguely familiar truck go by. You squinted your eyes in thought. Where the hell had you seen that truck before?

It was light blue, peeling in some places, beat up looking but obviously still in good working condition. It looked like it was caked in years of dirt, dents and scratches …a farm truck maybe? But what was it doing in this part of town? There was no farming area around here for at least 20 miles.

It reminded you of something though …an almost buried memory from two long years ago.

During the stay on your uncles ranch, you had helped him out a lot with the daily chores: feeding the animals, milking the cows, cleaning the stalls… Your uncle stored the bundles of hay and straw he used to feed and bed the horses and cows in a building to far away to carry them back on foot so he would load them into the back of his truck. He had let you drive it back and forth between the barn and the storage building. You smiled at the distant memory.

…Then your smile faded slightly as you remembered more about your uncles truck. It was light blue, peeling in some places, beat up, but still in good working condition. It was caked in years of dirt, dents and scratches …a farm truck in every sense.

Your eyes shot back to the street and you pictured the truck that had gone by a minute ago, comparing it in your mind to the own you had driven so proudly two years ago. The one you had just seen looked slightly more beat up than the one you were now remembering but, all things considered, that was to be expected.

You tried to stifle your excitement as you entertained the idea of your cherished uncle being the one behind the wheel of that beat-up, old ford.

“It couldn’t be,” you whispered to yourself though your smile refused to be held back.

Despite the small seed of doubt growing by the second in the pit of your stomach, you felt a surge of hope explode in your heart and rush through your veins like a wildfire on speed.

Maybe …JUST maybe …you wouldn’t end up dead tonight.