So Long and Goodnight...

Closing the door to the house that had long ago ceased to be your home, you let your gaze drift to the horizon and a brilliant flash of lightning caught your eye. Not long after, an angry clap of thunder split the night in the distance. A storm was coming …a big one.

The air smelled thickly of the rain to come. A light breeze drove a sinister chill, so unnatural for the time of year, deep into your bones, causing you to cross your arms in front of you to give yourself some illusion of warmth. The earth itself felt tensed and dangerously over-charged with enough energy to crack open the ground in front of you and release all the demons in Hell.

No crickets chirped.

No frogs croaked.

The night was as still and as silent as death.

You stepped off the porch and walked quickly but lightly to your sisters’ car. You felt like you were walking on eggshells and that any hard footfall would trigger such an apocalyptic event that not even the great and horrifyingly masterful Stephen King himself could conjure in his wildest dreams.

Shaking off a chill, you opened the back door of the car and tossed your duffel bag onto the seat. You went to close the door but something made you open the bag and take out the envelope that had your uncles’ letter, cash, and directions in it. You had no idea why but you placed it under the drivers seat and closed the door. You had the car keys in your pocket and you locked the door just as a precaution. You just had a few letters to deliver and you’d be right back and then gone from this town for good …but not without a very heavy heart.

You were glad your friends all lived within a block of your house because you didn’t have much time before your father got home or before the storm made it’s way into town. Even as you walked, each clap of thunder seemed louder, each flash of lightning more intense than the last. You could almost feel the storm moving closer.

For the most part, you delivered the notes according to who lived closest. It only made sense that way and took far less time. You only skipped Gerard and Mikey’s house because you weren’t mentally ready to “say goodbye” to Gerard yet. As with the others, you didn’t plan on actually saying goodbye in person at all. You just dropped the letters in their mailboxes, tried to hold back your tears, and moved on. That’s all you could stand to do. You weren’t strong enough to say goodbye to their faces.

You surprised yourself with how fast you flew through your task. You were almost done …just four letters left.

You stood in front of the Way house trying to keep your emotions in check. You had to be strong or you would fall to pieces right then and there and now was certainly not the time or place for that. So you took a deep breath and bounded up the stairs intending to drop the letters in the box and be done with it …but as fate would have it, you were cursed with the absolute worst timing in the world.

As soon as your foot hit the top stair, the front door swung open and there stood Gerard Arthur Way, silhouetted against the light from inside, a lighter in his hand and a cigarette dangling from his lips.

The second he saw you, the corners of his mouth turned up into a smile.

“And what exactly are you doin’ creepin’ around at this hour, miss thang,” he asked with a grin, the cigarette never leaving his lips. He cupped his hand around the end shielding it from the cool breeze, struck the lighter and took a long drag.

“Uh …well actually,” you stammered, thrown off guard yet blissfully stunned by his sudden appearance, your heart leaping at the sound of his perfectly intoxicating voice. “I just wanted to drop off some things before I have to go home and uh …clean the house before dad gets back.”

He nodded. “Yeah. Wouldn’t want to make him more mad than he usually is,” he mumbled with malice in his voice and a flicker of anger in his eyes.

You smiled. He had always been a bit protective of you.

Seeing you smile made the hate disappear from his eyes and he smiled back before taking another drag and exhaling the fumes into the air.

“So whatcha got for me,” he prodded with a boyish grin.

“Notes.”

“Notes?”

“Notes,” you confirmed holding them out in front of you. “One for Mom, one for Dad, one for Michael …and one for you.”

A flicker of fear crept into his features as he gently took them from your hand.

“These are nothing …bad …are they?” he asked tentatively. “Like …suicide notes?” he added, seeing the confusion in your face.

“No.” You assured him. “Of course not.”

It was hard for you to tell him that in a way. You had known him and your other friends practically your whole life and spent so much time with them and developed such a bond with them that now they were your life. Nothing good ever happened unless they were around. Every moment of happiness, every breath you took was in some way directly linked to all of them …and now …you were leaving them. So maybe Gerard wasn’t too far off the mark at all. Maybe suicide was the perfect word for this.

“Good,” he said, only sounding half reassured. “Cause if they were …I’d have to kill you first.” His smile almost made you melt.

“Oh I don’t doubt it,” you laughed. “You’re twisted like that.”

“Damn straight,” he agreed with a laugh.

There was a moment of silence before he turned his attention back to the notes in his hand.

“So what’s this all about,” he asked casually, turning the stack of notes over in his hands. “Is there anything you need to tell me?”

You tried to stop your voice from trembling.

“Nothing that isn’t said in your note.”

“Hmm.” He nodded and started to unfold the one with his name on it.

You grabbed his hand to stop him and he met your eyes. Your faces were inches apart.

Still holding his hand in place, you said: “You just have to promise you won’t read it until you give me a head start back home.”

He narrowed his eyes at you.

“Gerard …promise,” you pleaded.

He sighed. “Ok. I promise.”

Reluctantly …you removed your hand from his.

You struggled to control your sadness as you stepped back. It was now …or never.

“I better get going,” you said softly. “Dad should be home soon…”

“Yeah. I don’t want you to get in trouble.”

He stood up, put out his cigarette, and flicked it into the yard.

“I’ll see you at school tomorrow, right?”

You looked away from his eyes.

“Yeah. I’ll be there.”

You hated that you had to lie to him. It hurt so bad.

“Good. But I still want a hug. I haven’t seen you all fucking week. I missed you.”

“I missed you too, Gee.” You breathed as you hid your tortured face in his chest. You didn’t want him to see how much pain you were in.

You were losing it. You had to go.

You broke the hug gently and stepped back from him.

You immediately wished you would’ve left sooner because you didn’t want to hear the voice that you heard at that moment coming from Gerard’s living room through the partially open door.

“Gee, you done yet? You said you were smoking a cigarette, not twenty.”

“Coming, dearest,” Gerard laughed in response.

“Oh hey,” he said to you. “Alexa’s here if you want to say hi.”

“No,” you almost growled but stopped yourself. “I really have to go. Just tell her hi for me ok?”

“Will do.”

“Gerard!” Came another loud and joyful voice from inside. “Food’s done! It’s movie time! Get your ass in here!”

“Be there in a minute, Mikey!” Gerard yelled back.

They were watching a movie? Good. That meant he would have to wait to read the note. You faked one last smile for him.

“Bye Gerard.” …The hardest words you had ever had to say.

“Goodbye, Helena. Sweet dreams.”

“Yeah …you too.”

You turned, walked down the steps and steadily away from Gerard, summoning all the strength you had to not break down yet.

You turned onto the sidewalk that would take you back home, gave Gerard one last wave, and continued on steadily out of his view.

As soon as you were sure he couldn’t see or hear you, you lost all control and started sobbing. You wanted to fall to the ground but your mind told you to keep going. It would be better the sooner you could get out of here. You ran the entire way back to your house.

Once you were back in your driveway you leaned against your sisters’ car and tried to gain control of yourself. It wasn’t happening. So you stayed there trying to think happy thoughts of your new life in Montana. Horses. Sunshine. Clean air. Wide open spaces. Blue skies. Moonlit nights. Stars as far as the eye could see.

A short while later you deemed yourself ok to be behind the wheel of a car. So you dug the keys out of your pocket, unlocked the car door, and stood with your back to the sidewalk from which you had just come, one hand on the roof of the car, the other on the top of the door, taking a few deep breaths.

You were still standing there when you heard a voice behind you.

“Helena. We need to talk.”

The blood in your veins turned to ice, every muscle in your body stiffened, and the hairs on the back of your neck stood straight up. You knew that voice …and it was the last one on Earth you ever wanted to hear.

You turned around slowly, confirming your worst nightmare.

“Alexa? What the fuck do you want?”