So Long and Goodnight...

Autumn’s P.O.V.

I sat curled up on my bed, not even caring that the tears I cried were trailing thick, black spindles of mascara and eyeliner down my face. My sister and I had just gotten back from the cemetery where all of us (Mikey, Gerard, Bob, Ray, Frank, Brooke, My mom and dad, Mr. and Mrs. Way, my sister, and I) had decided to gather to honor and remember Helena …a year to the day after her …disappearance.

I say “disappearance” because …they never actually found a ….a body but …I know she’s dead. Everyone does. They’re just afraid admitting it will suddenly make it true. …Like it hasn’t been true for this entire fucking God forsaken year.

I grabbed a book off my nightstand and hurled it across the room. It hit my jewelry box, causing it to pop open. Inside was a Gothic ballerina that would dance in circles whenever the top was opened. Soft music tinkled sweetly through the darkness of my bedroom.

Wiping my tears away with my hand, I slipped off my bed and walked softly over to my dresser on top of which sat, my dancing ballerina. I reached into the open box and pulled out what I knew would be there though I hadn’t even glanced at it in exactly a year.

A note. A simple note on lined paper addressed to me. The last memory I would ever have of my best friend …my Helena.

I opened it and began to read as tears fell from my tortured eyes.

Autumn,
I don’t think you’ll ever fully understand how grateful I am for the friendship you have given me. You fought for me, you fought with me when you knew I was making the wrong decision, but you always knew what to say, what to do to make everything alright if only for a little while. You know me inside and out so I know you understand how hard leaving is for me.
You …ALL of you, are my life, the only significant reason I’m still alive to this day. I’ll never be able to thank you enough. You gave me life when I had nothing but now I have to work for it on my own. I’ll write to you once I get settled. I love you to the stars and back, darling.

Forever Your Best Friend,
Lane

Clutching the note to my heart, desperately willing it to bring her back to life, I collapsed on my bedroom floor, sobbing like I had never sobbed before. I didn’t even care who heard me.

Raven’s P.O.V.

In my room, I sat cross legged on my floor, staring blankly at the wall. A part of me heard my sister crying in the next room and wanted to go hug her and offer comforting words of solace, another part of me didn’t care about anything but my own mind numbing pain.

I knew why my sister was crying. She had read Helena’s note. I heard her music box playing and knew that’s where she had subconsciously buried that painful memory of our best friend. That made me think of my note.

I didn’t want to read it, but a force beyond my control made me reach for the small ring box that I kept her note and only her note in.

Unfolding the paper that still carried her soft scent, I read the words that upon my first time reading them had made me proud and happy that she was finally getting out of this town …until the moment I had found out that they would forever and always …be her very last words to me.

Raven,
Babe, you’re my world, my rock. You molded me into the person I am today. You’re so strong and so beautiful. Don’t you ever forget that. Without you verbally harassing my ass every step of the way, I never would have learned how to stand up for myself, how to fight. I would still be that fragile weak little girl I was before. You made my life worth living after Mom and April died. I didn’t want to be alive but I kept going for all of you guys. I need to do this for me. I need to break free of my chains, girl. I pray that you understand and that you help the others to understand as well.
I’ll write. I promise. I love you more than the air I breathe.

Your Girl FOREVER,
Lane

I closed my eyes, leaned my head up against the wall and let one single bitter tear slide down my cheek.

Brooke’s P.O.V.

I had never dealt with sorrow well. I had always bottled it up, kept it inside, let it eat away at me. Always …before I met Helena. She was someone I could share anything with and feel totally at ease. She always knew what to say and she was always there when I needed her …except for now when I needed her more than I ever had.

I couldn’t believe she was really gone …but looking down at the note that had somehow ended up in my hand without my knowing it reminded me that she was definitely not here. I opened up the note and read it for the first time in a year with a very heavy heart.

Brooke,
I couldn’t have been happier when you and Mikey got together. You’re both so perfect for each other. Don’t ever let that go.
Also, thank you so much for welcoming me into veggiedom with open arms.
Guuuurl, I love you to pieces. I wouldn’t know what to do without you. I have a very important job for you and I trust you more than anybody on this Earth to do it for me: Take care of Mikey. He’s fragile though he pretends so hard not to be. He needs you. Love him like I know you do. …And don’t ever forget me. I’ll write as soon as I can.

Love You TONS!
Lane

Like a dam exploding from the pressure of a raging river behind it, tears burst from my eyes and I curled into a ball in a nearby chair and let them keep coming as they wished. I couldn’t have stopped them if I’d tried anyway so what was the point?

I still didn’t want to believe she was gone …but the now soggy note still held firmly in my hand seemed to scream the harsh truth at me. She would never be here for me or anyone else again.