So Long and Goodnight...

Gerard’s P.O.V.

I led Helena in through the back door of the venue and into the concession area where a few people were still milling around trying to pack up all our equipment so we could hit the road.

I stopped a guy with amp and microphone cords hanging off his shoulders in neat coils and who also happened to be carrying Pansy, Franks beloved Les Paul guitar and his (so he swore to everyone) one and only true love.

“Hey, you wouldn’t happen to know if all my band members are still in the dressing room would you?” I asked the guy.

“Yeah, I just saw them. All four of them are in there with three girls.”

“Any of them have blonde hair?” I asked curiously referring to the girls he had mentioned. I didn’t want to run into Alexa if I didn’t have to yet.

“Not unless you count Bob,” the guy smirked and we shared a quick laugh.

“What about Brian? You seen him around?” Brian Schechter was My Chem’s band manager.

“Last time I saw him, he was heading for the bus, man.”

“Ok. Thanks a lot. And hey be careful with that thing, ok?” I warned about the guitar the man was carrying. “Trust me. Frank will kill you if anything happens to it and he won’t even feel bad.”

“Oh I don’t doubt it,” he laughed nervously and then he turned away and went back to his business.

“Ok,” I said, turning to Helena whose hand I was still holding and who was still wearing my jacket. “Looks like the coast is clear. Lets go.”

“Gerard, wait,” she said, pulling gently on my arm to stop me. “I just have one question.”

Her sudden seriousness surprised me a bit.

“Sure,” I said curiously. “What is it?”

She glanced around us and (apparently deciding we needed a bit more privacy) led me to a more quiet corner of the room by the vending machines. She lowered her voice a bit before asking: “What did you mean a little bit ago when you said Alexa was only using you for what you could get?”

“Damn,” I said, half wishing she hadn’t asked, half amazed that she’d even remembered I’d said that. “You don’t miss much do you?”

“It’s true, I don’t. You see, I’ve actually been training as a Russian spy these past five years and I was sent back here to infiltrate the Italian mafia. You’re first on my list, hot shot.”

“Well then,” I said, purposefully emphasizing my natural Italian accent and doing my best impression of Don Corleone from ‘The Godfather’. “I’m gonna make you an offer you can’t refuse.” I put my hand on her hip and gently pressed her against the wall behind her and leaned in for a quick kiss, not totally caring if anyone saw me kissing someone other than Alexa but wanting to spare a confrontation for Helena’s sake.

“Hey,” Helena said after returning my kiss. “No fair distracting me like that, cheater! Lets get back to my question.”

I smiled. “Ok fine. You deserve to know but I’m not proud of this at all. You have to promise you won’t hate me.”

“I could never hate you, Gerard,” she said gently as she ran her fingers through my hair. “I love you too much for that.”

We exchanged another smile and then I took a deep breath. “Well …dealing with Alexa, as you know, is not easy and I was just looking for a way to …escape reality for a little while you know? Get away from everything so I …started drinking and when that stopped working, I found a guy that …sold pot and started smoking quite a bit of it but even that eventually wasn’t enough for me so I got into …cocaine.”

“Jesus,” Helena breathed, wide eyed. I wondered what she thought of her ‘white knight’ now.

“It got bad fast. I didn’t even know who I was anymore. I was so weak”

“I’m so sorry. Gerard. I should’ve been here. I never should’ve left.”

“I wasn’t even going to tell you because I knew that you’d blame yourself. Helena, it wasn’t your fault. It was my choice, my stupid fucking decision. I’m just sorry that I let you down.”

“You didn’t let me down, Gee. Don’t ever say that. People make mistakes. It happens. I’m just sorry that I wasn’t here to try and prevent it. Are you still-“

“No,” I answered before she asked. “I stopped three months ago. Mikey …he …he told me it was the drugs and alcohol or my family and friends.”

“It must’ve been so hard for you,” she whispered, her voice cracking a bit.

“It still is. But it’s getting easier,” I said finally meeting her eyes. “I can completely understand if you don’t want to be with me because of this. I mean I can’t go partying. I can’t be around alcohol-“

She put a finger to my lips, silencing me. “I don’t need any of that. All I need is you. I’ve waited so long and I finally have a chance and believe me, boy, there’s not a damn thing you can do to make me leave you now. You’re stuck with me forever.”

“Is that a promise?” I asked with a smile.

“You bet your ass it is,” She said and pulled me in for a kiss.

“You ready to go see everyone?” I asked once we parted lips.

“I think so,” she said shyly.

“You’ll be ok. I promise. Let’s go.”

“Ok,” she said and took the hand that I held out to her.

I led her to a narrow corridor that led straight back to the dressing room. The door was only slightly ajar and I all I could see were Mikey’s feet on the ground in front of the chair that I assumed he was still sitting on and Brookes feet dangling down from her perch beside him on the arm of the same chair.

She was directly behind me and stayed that way the whole way down the corridor. I felt her hand shaking in mine and I gave it a light squeeze. She was terrified that no one would want her back, which was ridiculous. We all loved her.

I stopped in front of the door and glanced over my shoulder at Helena, my voice masked by the sound of my band mates’ muffled conversation. “Stay here,” I whispered.

She nodded and reluctantly let go of my hand.

I pushed the door open just enough for me to slide through but not enough to reveal Helena to Brooke and Mikey who would’ve had a perfect view of her, had the door been fully open.

“Hey, guys,” I said nonchalantly.

“Hey,” they all replied in unison.

“Where have you been?” Ray asked out of curiosity. “We were just starting to get worried about you.”

“Oh I was around,” I grinned.

“Where’s your jacket?” the ever observant Mikey asked.

“Funny story about that,” I said, and turned to Bob who was standing in the corner, looking out the window at the palm trees swaying in the wind. “Hey Bob, take a seat.”

“Huh,” he said, slightly confused.

“Just trust me, man. You’re gonna want to sit down for this.”

“Um …ok?” he gave in, giving me a look that let me know he thought I’d finally snapped.

“Gerard, what the fuck are you up to?” Frank asked me with more than a little fear in his voice.

“Relax. I’m not gonna go psycho and kill everyone. I just have a surprise. A really fucking impossible and mind-blowing surprise.”

“What is it, Gee?” Mikey asked, curiosity getting the best of him.

“Not what,” I said smiling at him. “Who.”

I looked around at the perplexed faces of my band mates and the three girls that were with us and then I stepped to the door and held my hand out to Helena who was on the other side. She took it and I felt her take a deep breath before I gently pulled her into the room for everyone to see.

“Guy’s,” I said gently. “…Helena.”

I had never heard such perfect silence in my life as I stood with my arm around Helena who was shaking like a leaf and pulling self-consciously at the sleeves of my jacket, trying desperately not to cry and I had never seen such shock on the faces of my friends.