How to Love

“No. Why would I want to sit through a movie with the two of you just so you can drool over some guy?” Matt demanded, irritated. “I’d rather go see that action movie. At least stuff blows up.” Liz, Matt, and I were standing just outside of the ticket line at the movie theater trying to figure out what to go see. It was about nine o’clock on Saturday and we had about three hours before we were supposed to meet Jake at the bowling alley. Matt was pulling for some movie Liz and I had never heard of, while we were trying to convince him to go to Silver Linings Playbook. “Besides, you two just went and saw this last week.”

“It was a good movie,” I defended, narrowing my eyes.

“No, you two just want to go stare at old Blue Eyes for two hours,” Matt shook his head. “See, I know both of you. I know how your female minds work.”

“That’s not true,” Liz dismissed him. “Not completely, anyway. Besides, it’s got Robert DeNiro in it. You like him.”

Matt contemplated this. “I do like Robert DeNiro.”

“Plus Jennifer Lawrence takes her clothes off,” I added. Liz flashed me an accusatory glance since that wasn’t true, and I shrugged back at her.

“She does?” Matt asked. “Shit, I’ll buy the tickets now.” He inserted himself into the line and made his way to the front quickly, leaving Liz and I to wait for him.

“Why’d you lie?” Liz questioned while he was talking to the ticket woman.

“Because I knew that would be his selling point,” I answered. “And did you really want to sit through his bum-fuck movie? No, I didn’t think so. You should be kissing my ass.”

Matt returned a few moments later with the tickets and then we all got in line to grab snacks and whatnot. He started to check his phone while we waited in the agonizingly slow moving line, scrolling through his Facebook. “Ooh, a new friend request.” He tapped it open. “Lori Brightman. I don’t know who that is. She’s kind of hot, though.” Liz glared at him and turned away. Matt threw his hands in the air. “What?! You two were just talking in the car about how hot Bradley Cooper is!”

“Yeah, well you’ve got a better chance of meeting Lori Brightman than I do of meeting Bradley Cooper,” Liz retorted.

Matt started to argue, but I interrupted him, sighing impatiently. “Are you two just gonna bicker the entire night, or are you gonna get your Goddamn popcorn?” They both shut up and we finally made it through the line, getting carded as we tried to enter the theater. “You’ve gotta be kidding me,” I grouched as we took our seats. “We’re all obviously old enough to get in. He’s a pimply-faced fifteen year old fuck on a power trip.”

“Relax,” Matt scolded. “It’s not like you didn’t get in. You don’t need to get bent out of shape.”

“I’m not,” I said. “I’m just saying, that kid can’t even get into an R-rated movie on his own. Who the hell is he to tell anyone else that they can’t get in?”

“Will the two of you shut up?” Liz barked in irritation. “The movie’s about to start.” Matt and I quieted down and were mostly silent throughout the movie, minus the occasional side comment that caused us to spiral into uncontrollable giggle fits. Two hours later, we were exiting the movie theater and on our way to meet Jake.

“So it was a good movie and everything, but you lied to me,” Matt was saying as we walked up the bowling alley some fifteen minutes later. “Jennifer Lawrence did not take her clothes off, and I am thoroughly disappointed.” He pointed at me as soon as he spotted Jake standing near the entrance. “Hey Jake, if you ever go to a movie with Veronica, don’t listen to her if she tells you that someone gets naked because it’s a dirty, dirty lie.”

Jake laughed in amusement. “I wouldn’t know, since I sadly did not get invited to the movie.” He gave me faux puppy-dog eyes.

“I would have invited you, but you told me you were going to Jocko’s to pick up your last check,” I defended.

“Well, when did you go to the movie?” Jake asked.

“About nine or so,” Liz answered for me. “It didn’t start until about nine-twenty.”

Jake seemed to be counting in his head. “Yeah, by the time I got out of Jocko’s I wouldn’t have been able to make it anyway. I didn’t get out of there until a little after nine and that’s a nice drive from the movie theater, assuming you went to the one on Ridge.”

“Yeah, we did,” I confirmed. “I thought you were going to go at eight, though.”

“Why do you know all this?” Matt asked, exasperated.

“We discussed it when he picked up his check at the funeral home yesterday,” I explained. “Don’t act like I’m up the guy’s ass, Matthew. It’s called making conversation.” I turned my attention back to Jake. “Anyway, what happened to eight o’clock?”

“Well, I went up there at eight as planned, and I went into the kitchen to see Chad about my check,” he explained. “He just started bitching at me about how he wasn’t going to pay me for the last two weeks since I didn’t come in, which I wasn’t expecting him to pay me for that anyway. So I reminded him that he owed me roughly eight hundred bucks since he didn’t pay me for about a month and he started screaming and throwing shit around the kitchen. Adam had to calm him down and Chad finally wrote the Goddamn check and he told me I was a bloody diarrhea fart. Then he asked me if I’d come back if he gave me a fifty cent raise.”

“What a fucking psycho,” I scoffed after letting that sink in.

“Yeah, no shit,” Liz agreed. “Like you’re gonna go back there after that.”

“Bloody diarrhea fart?” Matt repeated incredulously. “Was that the best that he could come up with?”

“Evidently,” Jake nodded. “He’s a nutjob, though. He’s been a lunatic towards me since I started there.” He shrugged. “But it’s whatever. I don’t have to ever go back. That place can burn to the ground for all I care.”

“There’s no bitterness there at all, though,” I said sarcastically.

Jake shook his head. “Nope, none at all.”

“Can we hurry up and go inside?” Liz asked desperately. “It’s freezing.” Matt rested his arm around Liz’s shoulders and we headed into the bowling alley. We located the front desk and paid our way in, renting some bowling shoes as well. Jake and I got through the line before Liz and Matt, so we stood together to keep an eye on our lane. A few seconds after Jake gestured towards it, I felt his hand reach for mine, intertwining our fingers. His hand felt big and warm against mine, and it seemed to fit my hand perfectly. I looked up at him briefly, but he was still casually glancing around.

Liz and Matt finally joined us and we walked over to our lane, Jake still holding my hand. Naturally, Liz noticed this within seconds and smirked at me knowingly, but I merely rolled my eyes at her. We had all paid for three games of bowling, so we decided to divide into teams so that Liz and Matt were on one, and Jake and I were on the other.

“So how are you at bowling?” Jake asked me after Matt bowled a strike.

“Not good,” I admitted, remembering the score of my last game. “I got a twelve once.”

“Twelve?” Jake raised his eyebrows. “Out of three hundred possible points, you got a twelve? How do you even get a twelve?”

“By sucking,” I answered. “I don’t know how to bowl that well, I just make fun of myself and have fun.”

“Don’t worry about it,” Matt said as he patted my shoulder on the way to sit back down. “Remember that one time you bowled a strike?”

“Oh God,” I groaned, rolling my eyes. “Why did you have to bring that up?”

“What happened with the strike?” Jake asked, his interest piquing. “See, now I have to know.”

“Okay, so we went bowling like four years ago,” Matt started, mischief in his eyes, “and it was Veronica’s turn to go, and she was getting frustrated that all she was getting were gutter-balls. I tried to show her how to roll the ball, but you know she doesn’t listen to anyone.” Jake nodded in agreement and I flashed him an expression of annoyance. “So she lofted the ball and it somehow ended up one lane over and she got a perfect strike, and that’s the only one she’s ever gotten in her life. Man, I wish I could have recorded that one.”

Liz and Jake were both laughing loudly and I was working hard to fight off an embarrassed smile at the memory. Matt grinned in success, stifling a laugh himself. “Speaking of, it’s your turn to go.”

I sighed and stepped up to grab one of the lighter balls. I did my best to angle the ball with the pins and when I released it, it ended up racing down the lane and swerving into the gutter seconds before it would have hit the pins. I turned around and Jake had his hand covering his mouth, desperately trying not to burst into hysterics. He finally let himself laugh openly, shaking his head apologetically. “I’m sorry. It’s not funny, and I know it’s not, but I can’t help it.”

I smiled with him. “There is a god of bowling, and he hates me.” My ball finally cycled around so I tried again. This time I managed to hit three of the corner pins. Liz gave me a thumbs up and Jake high-fived me as we traded places. Jake got a spare in his first turn, so he was back to sitting with me in a few quick minutes.

He sat down and casually put his arm around the back of my chair and turned so that he was facing me. “So listen, do you want me to show you how to angle the ball?”

“You can try,” I said. “I can promise you that it’s not gonna be pretty, though.”

“Well, you’ve got twenty-nine more frames to get it right,” he encouraged, trying to be helpful. “It can’t be that bad.”

I spent the next twenty-nine frames proving him wrong. I was hitting more pins with his techniques, but they were also more dangerous than what I’d previously been doing. Several times when I drew my arm back, the balls slipped out of my fingers and almost hit Matt’s foot, which turned out to be pretty funny. By the time we left the bowling alley to go to Denny’s, we were rosy in the cheeks with laughter. Matt and Liz came out victorious in all the games, but Jake and I didn’t mind since we at least came pretty close to beating them in one game. Instead of driving with Liz and Matt, I went with Jake in his car. He and Matt ended up racing each other to Denny’s, changing lanes and speeding past each other. Jake skidded into our parking space a mere three seconds before Matt swerved into his.

“That really did nothing for my opinion of your driving,” I told him, though I was half-laughing from the adrenaline rush.

“You’ve driven with me before and I’ve heard no complaints,” he shrugged. “It’s two in the morning, no one’s even out, if that’s what you were worried about.”

“The first time I drove with you, I was buzzed, and the second time, I was irritated, so I wasn’t paying attention to your driving,” I said. “You drove like shit on Wednesday when we went downtown.”

Jake opened his door to get out, motioning for me to do the same. “I told you, I never drive down there. Cut me some slack on that one.”

“I suppose I can do that, but only because you didn’t mess up my car,” I relented with a small smile as I got out, slamming the door behind me. He grinned back at me from the other side of the car, but then snapped his head when he heard Liz and Matt exiting their car.

“Well played my man,” Matt called from where their car was parked. “Well played. But I’ll annihilate you next time.”

“You wish,” Jake yelled back. “You’ve got a fucking pink Hello Kitty sticker in your back window; I think I can beat you any day.”

Matt whirled around to look at his car and threw his hands in the air. “What the fuck?! How long has that been there, Liz?” There was no other viable culprit from Liz, made fairly obvious from her minor obsession with all things Hello Kitty.

“Probably a good month,” Liz answered, trying not to erupt into obnoxious laughter. “Took you long enough to notice.”

“Did you know about this?” Matt asked, directing his attention to me.

I nodded. “Of course. Why wouldn’t I?”

Matt sighed, his shoulders slumping. He waved his hands in defeat. “You guys suck.” We followed him into Denny’s laughing at Matt’s sulking. The elderly waitress sat us in the back and we placed our orders, mostly sticking to lighter meals since it was so late. Liz spent half of the meal fighting off sleep, so we kept trying to make her laugh to keep her awake. By three o’clock, we were all exhausted and decided to part ways. Jake offered me a ride home, and despite his questionable driving skills, I accepted. We were pulling away from the Denny’s when I remembered that my dad had asked me to do a favor for him.

“Do you mind if we stop somewhere really quick?” I asked as we pulled up to a red light. “I need to pick some milk up for my dad.” I gestured across the street. “They have some at the BP station. I’ll be two minutes tops.”

“Sure,” Jake agreed. After the light turned, he pulled into the parking lot of the BP station, taking the closest spot to the front door that he could locate. I headed inside and found the milk near the back of the store. I gave the guy behind the counter a five dollar bill and declined the use of a bag and returned to the car. “Two minutes flat. Nice.” He gestured to the jug of milk. “What brand did you get?”

“Doesn’t have a label on it,” I answered. “It just says it’s locally produced.”

Jake made a disgusted face. “It’s probably dirty titty milk or something.”

I rolled my eyes. “Okay, milk snob. It’s all locally produced, you know that, right?”

“I don’t like to think about it,” Jake shrugged, reaching for the gear shift. “I just drink it and I don’t question where it comes from.” He glanced behind him to check for cars and then pulled out easily into traffic. “See? I’m not that bad.”

“When you’re paying attention, your driving’s not bad,” I said. “I’ll give you that.” I didn’t feel the need to say anything else. I felt at ease in his car riding shotgun, just letting the radio fill the silence. We were quiet the rest of the ride to my house, save for his humming along with the music. It was slightly before three-thirty by the time we got back. Jake put the car in park under the canopy and seemed to be waiting for me to say something.

“Thanks for the dirty titty milk comment,” I grumbled, trying to find something, anything to talk about. “I’m probably gonna be paranoid about drinking it now.” I probably couldn’t have come up with anything dumber to say.

“You’re welcome,” he semi-chuckled. “On a completely different subject, though, was Liz just really tired, or was she sick or something?”

“She’s pregnant,” I told him after a moment of contemplation. It was really Liz’s news to tell, but I was pretty positive that Jake wouldn’t say anything to anyone. After all, I didn’t think he knew anyone that would care even if he did mention anything. “She’s tired all the time since she’s in her first trimester. Liz and Matt aren’t telling a whole lot of people though, so I’d appreciate it if you wouldn’t say anything.”

“Yeah, of course,” he agreed, nodding earnestly. “I wasn’t planning on it anyway. Speaking of, were they planning, or did that just kind of happen?”

“It was a happy accident,” I said. “Also, don’t say anything to her the next time you see her. I probably wasn’t supposed to say anything, and she’s sick of talking about it.”

“So there’s gonna be a next time?” Jake smirked, finally looking directly over at me, his hands still gripping the steering wheel.

“Well, yes,” I answered slowly. “I see you at least two times a week. I have to. We’re study buddies.”

“Ah, and in addition to that, you’ve also let me see you two Saturdays in a row,” he pointed out. “I’d say that’s getting pretty serious.”

I laughed. “I guess if you want to see it that way, fine. Anyway, I should probably head up. Thanks for the ride back. I had fun tonight.”

“No problem,” Jake said. “I did, too. We should do that more often. Then maybe you’ll develop some bowling skills.”

I punched his arm playfully and laughed. “You’re a jerk, you know that?”

“Hey, if you can tease me about my driving, I should get to rag on your bowling skills,” he defended, throwing his hands up.

I shook my head, still chuckling, my free hand on the door handle. “I’ll see you later.”

“Hey, wait,” Jake called after me. I was still half in the car, so I stopped and turned to look at him. “You’re not gonna invite me up?”

I shook my head again. “Nope.”

“No?” he repeated, raising his eyebrows.

“No,” I confirmed. “I wouldn’t want you to expect it.”

“Well, at least let me walk you to your door,” he offered, smiling a little nervously. I had to admit, it was adorable seeing him somewhat anxious, the opposite of his cool and calm demeanor.

“You wanna walk me to my door?” I deadpanned. I pointed to the front doors of the funeral home. “I’m literally about five steps away from it.”

“Then it’ll be a short walk,” he said. Before I could protest again, he was out of his seat and moving around the front of the car, opening the car door the rest of the way for me. I got out and he shut the door behind me, accompanying me the five short steps to my doorway. That didn’t stop him from lacing his fingers through mine again in that incredibly short amount of time, though. We stood there like that for a moment, hand in hand, just looking at each other.

“So…” I trailed off awkwardly, my eyes shifting down. This wasn’t the same kind of silence from his car that felt comfortable. I didn’t know what to say, and was desperately racing through my mind to think of something.

“So,” he said again, “I really did have fun tonight. It’d be cool to do it again.”

“Yeah, it would be,” I agreed.

“What are you doing Friday?” he asked.

“Nothing that I can think of at the moment,” I replied. “Why?”

“Alexander texted me earlier and said that he and Ryan were gonna have a party at their place Friday,” he explained. “Turns out we have a lot of the same friends. Anyway, would you want to go? Together, I mean.”

I nodded, fighting an eager smile off. “Yeah, sure. Sounds good.”

“Okay, cool,” he said, nodding as well. “Oh, hey, you’ve got something by the corner of your eye.”

I used my free hand to try to wipe it off after he motioned to where it was. “Did I get it?” I figured it was probably an eyelash or dried piece of makeup.

“No,” he said. “Here, let me get it.” He let go of my hand and went to wipe it off, but instead cupped my face in his hand and brought his face close to me, pausing for the briefest of moments before touching his lips gently to mine. His lips were as soft as they looked, and my heart raced at first from surprise, but then the feeling moved to my stomach, which felt like it was flipping all over. He pulled away after a moment and just kind of stared at me again, like he was waiting for me to make the next move.

Instead, I said the stupidest thing that I could possibly ever say. “Did you get the eyelash?”

He looked down and bit his lip like he was trying not to laugh. “Yeah, I got it.”

I held the jug of milk I’d been hanging onto up. “I’d better get this upstairs. It’s freezing my fingers.” I got my key out and started to unlock the front door. “I’ll see you Monday.”

“Yeah,” he said, “see you Monday.” He gave me a little wave and bow-legged his way back to his car. I stepped inside and waved through the window as he drove away. I locked the door behind me and pressed my back against it, silently cursing myself for being such a spaz. Did you get the eyelash? What kind of romantically challenged idiot said things like that? Apparently the romantically challenged idiot that was smitten with Jake Damon did. And she hated herself for it.