How to Love

It seemed like right after Easter, the flood gates opened and the stress started to pile on. We started to get a lot busier at the funeral home, so there were papers coming in and out of my office all the time, as well as a lot of money wasted on gas for driving around and picking up/dropping off death certificates and getting doctors’ signatures. Classes were a few weeks away from finishing up, so all of my instructors had realized that it was crunch time, and were giving more work than was actually reasonable. I had a huge research paper due for my Honors English class (as well as two more plays to read: Angels in America, Part One: Millennium Approaches and Oleanna), what felt like a ridiculous amount of econ homework that I didn’t understand in the slightest, and two more take-home tests for abnormal psych, along with a few “pop quizzes” online, two more papers, and the five-hundred point presentation looming the last week of class.

Aside from my own homework, it seemed that everyone else needed my help with one class or another. Alexander kept asking me to help him with all of his general psych take-home tests, and Jake needed help editing his English and psych papers, as well as with our own take-home tests. He at least paid me back by helping me with (and by helping, I mean doing) my economics homework, taking the quizzes, and writing the discussions for me. Alexander offered to help me with my Survey of Rock and Roll class, but that seemed to be the only course that hadn’t suddenly had a spike in the workload, so that one I could manage on my own, easily.

Between school and work, I barely had time to see Jake in a relaxed manner, or anyone else for that matter. So naturally, I was not pleased when Dad made a little announcement over dinner one night.

“Gloria’s moving to Florida,” Dad mentioned casually while cutting into a piece of Lean Cuisine turkey. Gloria was Andrea’s mom, and though we’d once been close, I hadn’t seen her in a long time.

“That’s nice,” I said absent-mindedly. I was sitting across from Dad at the table with my laptop open and a plate of cheese and crackers within arm’s reach, my own little makeshift dinner.

“Yeah,” Dad agreed. “She’s getting her place all set up. Already sold the house.”

I nodded, not saying anything. I was going through one of the school’s research bases in order to find “scholarly” research for my paper in English. I had flashcards due the next day that were supposed to consist of five reliable sources in MLA format, which I thought was rather annoying.

“Andrea’s got nowhere to stay,” Dad said, “so I told Gloria that she could stay here.”

That made me pay attention. I raised my eyebrows in surprise and felt like my mouth could have dropped to the floor. “What?”

“Andrea’s going to stay here,” Dad said slowly, as if I had somehow lost the ability to process basic information. When I continued to stare at him lamely, he went on. “It’s just temporary. Two, three months tops.” He sat back. “I thought you and Andrea were getting along fine now.”

Dad evidently had a loose definition of the word fine, which I let him know. “If by fine, you mean ‘annoys the hell out of me,’ then yes, she and I are fine.”

“If you’re referring to the incident last week where she forgot to clean the toilets downstairs, you’re going to have to cut her some slack and move on,” he told me. “Nobody’s perfect, Veronica.”

“She has a checklist,” I argued. “It’s idiot-proof.”

He sat back and sighed exasperatedly. “Veronica, work with me here. It’s not that long. I know she’s not your favorite person right now, but she’s family, and this is the kind of thing you do for family.”

I thought this over, knowing that he was right, not that I wanted to admit it. “Fine. I’ll make it work.”

“Thank you,” he said. “When you’re done eating, would you mind cleaning out Alexander’s old room for her to sleep in?”

I gave him an incredulous look. “You remember that I go to this place called college twice a week, right? And that I have, like, eight billion things due tomorrow?” Eight billion was, of course, an exaggeration. But I did have those flashcards due, the rest of part one of Angels in America to read, a few short answers to finish up on my psych test, and two pop quizzes to take online. “Not to mention, Alexander’s got a bunch of socks still lying around on the floor in there. I don’t even want to imagine how many he probably masturbated on.”

Dad’s only response was, “Use gloves.”

I somehow managed to get everything done for school the next day, as well as cleaning Alexander’s old room up. By the weekend, Andrea’s stuff was all moved in and she was bunking in Alexander’s room. Luckily a lot of her stuff was already down in Florida, so there wasn’t much for us to move. I had to admit that over the weekend, she and I got along pretty well. We watched movies together and made stupid jokes, and I watched her play video games while I fiddled around on my laptop. It was just like old times, at least for a little while.

By Monday morning, I was ready to kill her.

“What’s with the face?” Jake asked, taking his normal place next to me before our psychology class started.

“What do you mean?” I snapped.

“Not anything bad.” He held his hands up in surrender, smiling almost nervously. “I just meant, why do you look so irritated?”

I sighed. “Andrea moved in with us.”

“And I take it that that’s not a good thing?” he checked.

“You know how I feel about her,” I answered. “We get along fine sometimes, and then other times, she just pisses me off constantly.”

“And I’m guessing that it’s one of those days,” he said. I nodded in response, and he continued. “What is it about her that bothers you so much?”

“It’s hard to explain,” I replied after spending a few seconds trying to find the right words. “She’s just so…air-headed, I guess. Like today at breakfast, she ashed her cigarette in her coffee without realizing it, took a sip, spat it out, and said ‘This tastes like ash and nasty.’”

He stifled a laugh at that.

“All right, I admit that that was kind of funny,” I relented. “But even barring that, she just irritates me. She’s lazy, and she never cleans the right way. She’s twenty-one years old, and she doesn’t have a job. She just works at the funeral home, and she doesn’t do that great of a job these days.”

“Well, to be perfectly fair, I’m twenty-one and I work at the funeral home,” he reminded me.

“You’re different,” I explained. “You actually do a good job working there, and you’ve had other jobs. She never has. She doesn’t even go to school anymore. She’s so unmotivated. I just want to shake her sometimes.”

“How long has she been staying with you again?” Jake asked.

“Three days,” I said with a groan, “and she’s already irritating the shit out of me.”

“I’m sorry,” he said, knocking his knee against mine beneath the table. “Would it make you feel any better to get out of the house for a little while?”

“Possibly,” I answered. “What did you have in mind?” I made a silent vow to strangle him if he suggested working on anything school-related. An evening away from my family was definitely not going to do me any good if those were the circumstances, since that was a small part of the equation that I was trying to escape.

“Well, my grandma’s staying overnight at the hospital to get some tests done,” Jake started, pausing when he noticed the questioning look I was giving him. “It’s not a big deal. They do that every couple of months, not that it ever does any good. It’s just a routine thing. But what I was thinking was that maybe you could come over, I could cook dinner, and you could stay over. We could hang out, work on some homework…”

I half-glared at him, ready to turn down his offer.

“I’m kidding.” He laughed. “We’ll make it a school-free night. Deal?”

“Deal,” I agreed, smiling with relief. “What time do you want me over?”

“Seven-thirty okay?” he checked. I nodded. “Good deal.”

“What are you making?” I asked. Over the last few weeks, Jake had cooked for me a few times, though it was all very simple, easily put together food. Nonetheless, it was all fantastic.

“I’ll let you know when I figured that out.” He threw a glance at the clock, which read almost ten. He started rifling around in his backpack to pull his notebook out. As he set the notebook down on the desk, he made an annoyed face and reached into his pocket to grab his phone. He glanced at it for a few seconds and then rolled his eyes, shaking his head. “Okay, while we’re on the subject of annoying things this morning, can you do me a favor and make your brother stop sending me stupid fucking videos?”

“What are you talking about?” I could feel my eyebrows furrowing together in confusion.

“Look.” He leaned in closer to me, allowing me to breathe in his characteristic scent which relaxed me a little bit. He tapped his phone a few times, getting whatever my brother had just sent him to replay. The video was only a few seconds long, but it featured Alexander making a lot of weird noises and faces with the caption ‘Ryan’s sex face and noises’ beneath it.

“I’m sorry to say, but those noises are surprisingly accurate,” I said, laughing a little. “The faces, too.”

“Gross.” Jake grimaced, obviously displeased. “That I didn’t need to know.”

“Sorry, but it’s the truth,” I told him, shrugging. “So what, he sends you a lot of those videos?”

“I get at least one a day,” he replied, shoving his phone back in pocket. “Some are of him singing and making weird faces to background music while he’s going to the bathroom at work, others are of him making weird faces, and then he took one of himself eating an apple yesterday morning and sent it to me.”

“That’s fucking weird,” I agreed with him. “I’ll say something to him.”

We didn’t get a chance to talk much more since class started and she started lecturing, one of our last days of class before our final projects were due and had to be presented. After class, we hung out by the pond outside before we had to go to our English classes. We said good-bye and I promised I’d be over around seven-thirty.

I got some work done at the funeral home when I got back, managing to ignore Andrea. I showered before going to Jake’s and was throwing some makeup and clothes on when my cell phone started going off. I checked the caller ID and saw that it was Liz, so I picked up.

I’d barely gotten a hello out before Liz started launching into what she needed to tell me, irritation in her voice. “Do you know where the fuck your brother is?”

“No,” I replied hesitantly. “I haven’t talked to Matt in a few days. Why?” She sounded like she was ready to kill someone, most likely Matt.

“Because he was supposed to pick me up from work and he’s not answering his phone,” she answered. I practically feel her anger radiating through the phone. “I can’t get ahold of anyone in my family either. Can you pick me up?”

I could feel my heart sink a little as I glanced at the clock. If I went to get Liz, I’d definitely be late to Jake’s and I had no idea how much he was counting on my timing as far as getting the food done. But still, I couldn’t just leave Liz stranded with no ride. “Yeah, sure. Give me about fifteen minutes and I’ll be there.”

“Thank you.” She sounded much more relieved now. We said good-bye and hung up, though I called Jake immediately after.

“Please don’t say this is a cancellation call,” was his greeting.

“Hello to you, too,” I said, frowning. “I’m also happy to hear your voice.”

“Sorry,” he apologized. “Busy day. What’s up?” His tone was a little edgy, so I was not terribly excited to deliver my news about being late.

“I was just letting you know that I’m gonna be late,” I said with a wince, though I wasn’t really sure why. It’s not like he’d ever yelled at me before. “Liz called, and Matt was supposed to pick her up but he’s not answering his phone. She asked me to take her home and I couldn’t really tell her no.”

He was quiet for a moment, but I could hear some clanking in the background like he was rushing around his grandmother’s small kitchen. “So how late do you think you’re gonna be? Approximately.”

“Thirty minutes or so?” I guessed. “No more than forty. I’m gonna do my best to make it as close to thirty at possible. I’m really sorry.” I was trying to calculate how long it would take me to get from my house to Liz’s work, to her sister’s house, and then over to Jake’s. If I kept my speed about five over, I could probably make it in close to half an hour as long as no one was dragging their ass.

“It’s fine,” he said shortly. He muttered a quiet “shit” and I heard something drop. “I’ll keep it warm. See you soon.”

We hung up and headed out to pick up Liz, where she was sitting on a bench outside of the thrift store. I pulled along the curb and unlocked the passenger side door so she could climb in. “Sorry, I got here as soon as I could.”

“It’s okay.” Liz buckled her seatbelt and relaxed into her seat. “At least you showed up. I think Matthew and I are going to have to have another talk about prioritizing. How much do you want to bet he fell asleep?”

“I think it’s a pretty safe bet.” Matt was a heavy-sleeper, so it didn’t matter how many times you called him or how loud his phone volume was set, he’d sleep right through it.

“Whatever.” Liz waved it off with a flick of her wrist. “Screw him. Do you wanna go get something to eat? Matt and I were supposed to get dinner after he picked me up.”

Well, there went my plan as far as getting to Jake’s in a somewhat timely manner. “I can take you through the drive-thru somewhere, but I’m sorry, I can’t hang out right now.”

“Why not?” she asked, clearly irritated again. I had the feeling that is she were an animal, her hackles would definitely be raised. Jesus, I just couldn’t win today.

“I already have plans,” I explained, merging into traffic. “Jake is cooking me dinner and I’m already running late.”

“Sorry I’m such an inconvenience to you.” She rolled her eyes, which made me want to pull the car over, kick her out, and let her walk her own pregnant ass home on her own.

“You’re not,” I said. “I don’t mind picking you up. I just can’t hang out right now, that’s all.”

“I feel like I haven’t seen you in weeks,” Liz went on as if I’d never said anything. “We never hang out anymore.”

My grip on the steering wheel tightened, my knuckles whitening. “Liz, I’m sorry. I’ve just been really busy. I’m up to my neck in school and work. This is the first time in weeks that I’ve actually been able to see anyone without any of that surrounding it.” The next part I probably should have just kept to myself. “Besides, it’s not like you’ve exactly asked me either.”

“Excuse me?” She sounded like she was ready to whack me or something. “So this is all on me now?”

“I’m not saying it’s any one person’s fault, fucking Christ.” I threw one hand up in the air to express my annoyance. “I’m not trying to fight with you. I’m just saying that I know I haven’t asked you to hang out because my every waking moment centers around school and my job, and that while that’s my fault, you haven’t exactly gone out of your way to ask me to hang out either.”

I didn’t think that that had sounded particularly derogatory and it certainly wasn’t said with malice. Evidently she didn’t think so. “You don’t need to attack me. It’s hurtful.”

“I’m not attacking you.” Even I could hear the exasperation in my voice. I was losing patience pretty quickly with all the bullshit I’d been putting up with as of late. “All I am trying to tell you is that I can’t hang out right now, and that if you want to hang out, I just need you to give me a little more of a heads up. That’s all.”

“Whatever.”

I considered whatever to be the fuck you of Liz’s vocabulary, which was how she typically used it. It was the ultimate dismissal, but I decided to act like I’d never heard it. It wasn’t worth making the situation worse. “Where am I stopping for food?”

“Don’t bother,” she told me without even bothering to look at me. “I wouldn’t want to bother you any more than I already have.”

“Fine,” I replied curtly. “I’ll just drop you off at Georgeann’s.”

I’d hoped that the more we drove, the less angry Liz would be, but that proved not to be the case. She continued on at the same level of aggravation, but on a silent level, which made it even worse. I’d seen Liz fight with other people, but I’d never experienced a fight with her myself. I wasn’t sure how long I was supposed to wait for her to stop being mad. With my dad, it varied depending on how upset he was with the offense, so it ranged from minutes to days. Matt and Alexander were easy – they were mad for usually about ten minutes tops and got over it. However, I knew Liz could hold a grudge for long periods of time and frequently did.

When we got to Georgeann’s house, she left the car with a door slam and without thanking me for the ride, not that I’d expected her to. I left pretty quickly and sped over to Jake’s as quickly as I possibly could, though I was unable to make it within the thirty minute time frame I’d been aiming for. I got out of my car and let myself into the house, where Jake was sitting at the kitchen table, looking more than mildly agitated.

“You’re late,” he stated simply, his tone flat. “But I managed to keep the food somewhat warm. Although it’s probably dry by now.”

“I’m really, really, really sorry,” I stressed, feeling myself wincing again. “Please don’t be mad at me.”

“Why are you making that face?” he asked, flashing me a confused look. “Sheesh, you act like I’m about to hit you or something. For the record, I’m not mad. I’m just a little irritated.” He waved me over. “Come here. And please stop looking so upset, it’s bumming me out.”

“Sorry,” I said. I walked over to him and he put his arms around me, pulling me into a hug. I rested my head against his shoulder as I hugged him back, instantly starting to feel better. “I’m just having a really shit day. The last thing I need is you being pissed at me.”

“Well, I’m not,” Jake said. “Just ever so slightly irritated about dinner, but I’m getting over that pretty quickly.” He let go of me and moved to grab some plates and started getting the food together. “Go ahead and sit down and get comfortable.” He joined me a few seconds later, setting the food in front of me. “What happened?”

I explained to him the situation with Liz while he nodded and listened, not seeming to mind that my retelling of the events was making the food even colder. He merely nodded and listened, which was what I’d wanted him to do.

“I’m sorry you guys had that fight,” he said when I was done, “but everybody’s gotta fight once in a while.”

“We don’t fight,” I pointed out. This was true for the most part, save for small disagreements here and there, though none ever escalated beyond that.

“Well, I can guarantee you that if tonight had taken place like three years ago, it would have been a fight,” he said as he started to pick at his food. “Possibly, it would have been a relationship-ending argument, but then again, I wasn’t really doing the whole relationship thing then anyway.”

“Sheesh, and I thought that I had a temper,” I joked and started cutting whatever meat had ended up on my plate.

“No, that would just be me being an asshole.” Jake shook his head, carefully chewing the bite he’d just put in his mouth. “I’ve never had too bad of a temper. No worse than anyone else, anyway.” He frowned. “Is it just me, or is this ridiculously dry?”

I tried a bite and nodded. “Sorry to say, but yeah. It’s still good, though.” Whatever it was, it was decently good, but because of the lack of flavor it had, I had no way of telling exactly what it was. “What is it, by the way?”

“It’s supposed to be a turkey chop, but it kind of tastes like sawdust a little bit.” Jake grimaced. “Do you want to just go out to eat? Clearly the cooking thing is not happening today.”

“I think you’re exaggerating, but if it makes you feel better, we can go out,” I said. “At least let me buy dinner, though.”

He took my plate from me and took his over to the counter as well, starting to clean up. “Normally, I’d tell you that I’d rather buy you dinner, but if you feel like it today, I’m definitely not gonna tell you no. We can do that and forget that this whole dinner thing never happened. Deal?”

“Deal,” I confirmed. “See, I wish arguing with Liz was that easy.”

“Part of that might be the pregnancy hormones and stuff,” he pointed out, starting to wash the few dishes we’d used. “It’s just kind of a shitty time for everyone, though.”

“Maybe Mercury’s in retrograde or something,” I commented.

“I’ve never understood what that meant,” he admitted, continuing to scrub.

“Basically, Mercury being in retrograde fucks everybody’s shit up,” I explained. I didn’t truthfully fully understand what the phrase meant either, but that was how Dad had explained the phrase to me and Alexander when we’d asked.

“Makes sense then I guess,” Jake said with a shrug. He finished rinsing the dishes off and loaded them into the dishwasher. He then fished around in his pocket for his phone, pulling it out and tapping away at the screen. “Give me one second and I’ll be ready to go. I just wanna see something.” He was quiet for a few seconds and then nodded. “So Mercury’s not currently in retrograde, but it was a few weeks ago. Maybe it’s just a delayed effect or something.”

“Maybe,” I said, nodding as well. “Fuck Mercury though, and fuck everybody else. Let’s just go get dinner and relax.”

He smiled for the first time since I’d been over. “That I can live with.”