Wasted

I laid awake late at night. It had been such a long day, but I couldn’t sleep. I moved onto my side, staring at the two objects on it. My phone, with Dean’s voicemail, was sitting right next to the phone number from Jason. I was so lost with both of the two men. It was like I had to choose right now, which path I should take. Dean was the best friend who I started to like as more than that. Then Jason, the hot single dad, didn’t know about the supernatural. Not that it was a bad thing. But he liked me, or I assumed he did because he gave me his number. He went out of his way to give me his number. Dean did just about everything he could to push away his feelings.

Except that kiss. His kiss was unlike anything I have ever felt before. I haven’t really kissed many guys. I’m not ashamed of it either. Actually, my list only consisted of two people: a guy I had dated six years ago, when we went to Truman High in Indiana for a month, and, now, Dean.

I sighed and rolled out of bed. There was no way that I was getting any sleep tonight. I grabbed both my phone and Jason’s number and stuffed them in the pocket of my oversized hoodie. I snuck down the stairs, not stepping on the steps that I knew squeaked. Dean and I used to sneak out with Sam all the time when we stayed here. We used to go climb on the cars and lay down on them to look up at the sky, much like we do now on the Impala. Before I went out the front door, I stole a couple beers from the fridge. After grabbing the blanket from the back of a couch, I walked outside to sit on the bench swing hanging on the porch. My phone burned against my stomach. I felt as if I needed to call one of the men. Either way it was late. I would probably wake both of them up. I groaned to myself and opened a beer, taking a big swig.

The door squeaked open a minute later and Bobby, strolled out, moving to sit next to me and take my other beer. The squeak of the door was the only noise I made coming out here, but it made, by far, the loudest sound a door could make. I knew it would wake the old man. The two of us sat in silence, rocking the bench slowly. I was hoping he would just sit with me and not say anything. I didn’t want to talk about my trouble. Most of all, I didn’t want to burden Bobby with things that he couldn’t handle. There had to be some sort of reason he never had any kids.

I could feel Bobby’s eyes on me as he took a sip of his drink. I sighed, knowing I wouldn’t be able to get away with not talking to him.

“So you wanna tell me why you’re really here?” Bobby asked. I looked at him, pleadingly.

“Do I have to?” I questioned, wanting him to say no.

“No.” I sighed in relief. “But…you should so ya ain’t stuck out here all night. In my experience it’s best to just get it out.” He reasoned. I guess it made sense. I’m not sure he’d want to hear it once I said it, but I gave it a shot anyway.

“Dean and I were started to get a little too close.” I admitted, picking at my fingernails.

“Well, you two have always been close.” I raised an eyebrow at him, giving him a moment to think about what I’d said. His eyes grew wide and I knew that he caught on. “Oh!” he said. I nodded. “I get it. You can’t have that sorta distraction on the job. Couldn’t you have just kept yer distance?”

I shrugged. “I tried. He got mad at me for not talking to him. Then I was at a point where I was hurt that he never chose me over other girls.” I trailed off. Bobby got it. He knew Dean was completely sex-driven. “Then before I left, he, uh, kissed me.” I was thankful it was dark so he couldn’t see me blush. “That night, when he was sleeping, I left a note, snuck out, and came here.”

“So he doesn’t know where you are?”

“I already told you he doesn’t.”

Bobby scoffed. “Ya Idjit. You call him up and tell him where you are. Guy’s been your family for years. Probably going insane wonderin’ where you are.”

I shook my head. “Bobby, he’s gonna tell me to come back. That or he’s gonna come here and drag my ass out. I don’t wanna go back. You shoulda heard his voicemail. He was angry. I don’t wanna go back to that. I literally just got here, anyway. I woulda thought you’d want a few more home-cooked meals before you kicked me to the curb. I can’t just go. I might have some sorta friend thing.” I rambled, instantly regretting it. I wasn’t planning on telling him about Jason yet.

“What friend thing?” Bobby asked.

“At the grocery store. Some guy named Jason Fisher. His…” I laughed. “His kid was lost and found me. I took him back to his dad. Jason gave me his number. Left it on his receipt in the windshield wipers of the truck.” I smiled and took the receipt from my pocket to show him.

“I’ve heard of Jason. Good kid. Shame about his wife though. He loved her like nothing else.” He said. My heart dropped.

I hadn’t really thought about how he felt about her death. He looked fine, but it’s been two years. Jason was probably a wreck a couple years ago, with a kid he didn’t know what to do with. For a moment, I thought about John. He lost his wife and his best friends, my parents, leaving him with now three kids aged five, four, and six months.

I took my phone out next, staring between the two objects. The two of us sat, listening to the crickets chirp. Bobby finished his beer in that silence and then stood up.

“Do what you want, Blondie.” Bobby said. He walked to the door and pushed it open. “I don’t know what you should do about your problem, but you should call Dean anyway. Tell him where you are.” I nodded, agreeing. “If you don’t, I will.”

I laughed. “I’ll call him, Bobby. I promise.” He left me alone, on the dark porch. I looked at my phone. I had already reached my decision on who I was going to call. I just had to get up the balls to do it. I sighed. I turned my phone on and dialed the number. It rang a few time before he answered.

“Hello?” he said. I took a deep breath. Maybe I should have thought about what to say. I was always bad about doing things before thinking about them. “Hello? Who’s this?” he asked.

“Hey, it’s me.” I said, simply. He’d know who it was.

“McKenly? Where are you?”

“South Dakota.” I waited. “I’m staying with Bobby Singer for a couple weeks. I’m tired. I need a break. I promised you that I’d come back.”

“You need a break from hunting or a break from me?” He sounded angry and upset all in one sentence.

“Dean, it’s more complicated than that.”

“No, it’s really not, Ken. I kissed you. I wanted you to stay. You left. Now, tell me why.” he demanded.

“I don’t really have a good ‘why’.”

“I’m going crazy with you gone. The case is so damn hard, and Sam’s not that fun to talk to. I can’t – ”

“What’s the case?” I asked, quickly, trying to change the subject.

He sighed. “Strange drownings. Top ranked swimmer drowns in a lake behind her house. A few months earlier another guy drowns in the same lake with his son. Kid’s alive, but he’s traumatized. He doesn’t talk. To anyone. But I talked to him. He gave me this drawing.” I could hear paper rustling around, as he probably pulled out the kid’s drawing. “It’s of a house.” I could hear the smile in his voice. “It’s pretty good. For a ten year old.” He laughed. I smiled, listening to him talk about the kid.

“Maybe he’s trying to talk to you.”

“Ken, he doesn’t talk to anyone.”

“No, the picture. Maybe he’s trying to talk to you through it. Show you something.” There was a pause. “Have you seen the house? Does it look familiar?”

“Yeah, actually it does.” He said, curiously. “We’ll check it out tomorrow.” I nodded, even though I knew he couldn’t see. “Thanks, Ken. For the help. And for calling.”

“Yeah.” I told him. “Just promise me that you won’t show up here tomorrow and drag me out by my hair.”

He laughed, quietly. “I won’t. Take your time.”

I took a deep breath. Something in me told me that I had to tell him about Jason. The possibility of him and I dating, could potentially make Dean angry, if he found out on his own. I thought I would have decided against it, but my mouth turned on me again and moved faster than my brain. “I wanna try dating.” I said, quickly.

“I thought you were gone to get over something happening between us.” He said, confused.

“No. Not us. Just me and another person of the male gender. I met someone today – ”

“Wait, hold on!” Dean boasted, angrily. “You’ve been gone one day and you’re already whoring yourself out?”

At first I didn’t know what to say. It hurt, what he said. It almost made me cry. I felt water sting my eyes, but I breathed and said quietly, “Whoa, Dean. That’s totally uncalled for.”

“Is that really why you called? To tell me that all of our fighting is done now because you met someone? All of a sudden everything that you said to me doesn’t matter?”

“No! I’m trying to move passed this stupid crush! Dean, for our sanity it’s much better if we don’t have those sort of feelings for each other. I think that dating will help me with that. I also think that if you focus on the job, you could, too. You not being able to focus on a case ‘cause you’re worried about me, is not okay! You wouldn’t have thought twice about that drawing if I hadn’t suggested what I did!” I took a moment to breath. He didn’t say anything. “You can’t be unfocused. People needed you to be on you’re a-game. You’re needed, Dean. I was mostly the brains of the operation, but now that you’ve got Sam, people don’t need me. I can slip out for a week or two. You save people’s lives.” There was another long pause where neither of us said anything. I had stopped rocking the bench by now. I could hear him breathing deeply on the other line. His breath made my heart beat fast. This was something I needed to get over. I guess I should start training that reflex.

“You’re right.” Dean said, finally. “Man, I bet you love hearing that.” He laughed. I smiled, nodding to myself.

“You know that I do.” I sighed. “All I want you to do is be yourself for a few weeks. Have fun with Sam. And go easy on him. I made him promise not to tell you where I was.” There was a silence between us again. This one was more comfortable. I leaned back on the bench swing, rocking myself with my foot as I just listened to him breathe. I felt my eyes start to get heavy. I took a breath, reading to say goodbye, but he spoke first.

“So this guy…” he started. I waited. “You know if he hurts you, I’ll kill him.” I shook my head.

“Dean, we’re not in high school anymore. You can’t threaten every guy I’m interested in.”

“I sure as hell can.”

“Well, then, you can’t threaten a man with a kid.”

“He’s got a kid?” Dean asked. I mumbled a yes. “Where’s the mom?”

“She died, two years back. Kid was three. But, Dean, the boy is so adorable.” I went on to tell him about Jacob and what happened at the grocery store. I couldn’t believe how much I missed talking to him. It had only been a day and I missed my best friend. I began to think that these few weeks wouldn’t be hard because I had feelings for him, but because I’ve never been away from him for very long.

*3rd Person POV*

The next day, Sam came back from his early morning snack and coffee run. He informed his brother of another death in the Carlton family. Bill’s son, Will, had drowned…in their kitchen sink. Safe to say that was a little unusual. The brothers decided that it was not a creature. It was something that was in control of the water from the late. Dean had figured that out. He realized that McKenly was right after their talk.

Dean had been unfocused and worrying about her too much. She was fine. She could take care of herself. She really didn’t need him. At least, that’s what he told himself. Dean was hurt that she left. He would never admit it, but he might have started to feel something more for her. The past few weeks without his dad, they’ve been able to bond. Without the older man between them, the bounced ideas off each other, played pranks, and cried over their guilt pleasure, Dr. Sexy, M.D.

Their kiss, though, was great. He put so much more behind it then he normally would. He felt something. He saw it as more than with any of the girls he’s hooked up with. And it was. Because it was his McKenly, his best friend. The only person he’s known his whole life that he wasn’t related to.

“Dean!” Sam said, taking his mind from his thoughts. He shook his head, refocusing on his brother. “We’ve got to move fast. The lake is draining. It’ll be dry in a few months’ time. We’ve got to get going if we’re gonna solve this case before the body count skyrockets.” Sam stood from the bed. Dean nodded and followed him to the Impala.

“Whatever it is, its running out of time. If it drowned the Carlton kid in a sink, it can get just about anywhere. It’s gonna happen again soon.” Dean said, starting his car. “And it took both Carlton’s kids, so…”

“So, it has something to do with him.” Sam finished. Dean recalled briefly when McKenly would do that. “I’ve been asking around.” Sam took Dean from his thoughts. “Lucas’s dad, Chris. He’s Bill’s godson.” Dean pulled out of the parking spot, and sped out fast.

“Let’s go pay Mr. Carlton a visit.” The car stayed silent for a few minutes as they drove through the town. Sam kept looking over at his brother. He wanted to ask Dean about the phone call he got last night. Sam figured it was McKenly, but he wanted to know for sure. He also didn’t want Dean to get angry or defensive about it. Dean noticed his glances and groaned. “What?”

Sam sighed. “You talked to McKenly last night?”

“Yeah. She called me.” Dean admitted. Sam waited for him to continue. Dean didn’t.

“And…?” Sam urged. If Dean didn’t tell him, he knew McKenly would.

“And nothing.” Dean said. Dean wasn’t sure if he knew about his and McKenly’s kiss, and it wasn’t any of his business. McKenly might have told him, but he sure as hell won’t be the one to share that news. Dean sighed though, knowing Sam would find out what happened during the call eventually. “She met a guy.”

Sam choked. “What?”

Dean shrugged. “She’s goin’ out with some guy.”

“And you’re just gonna let her?”

“I don’t have a say about what she does.” Dean said. “McKenly’s a big girl. She can take care of herself.”

“Dean, you have all the say in the world when it comes to her. McKenly is crazy about you.” Sam argued.

“Crazy about me?!” Dean questioned, angrily. “If she was so crazy about me, why would she call me in the middle of the night to tell me about some other guy?”

“You’re her best friend.”

“She said nothing will happen with us.” He ignored his response. “She was gonna date Jason.”

“Jason?”

“The guy.” Dean said, shortly. Sam didn’t know what to say. Dean never opened up to him like this. Just that shock, along with Dean subtly telling him that there was a ‘them’ (McKenly and Dean), made his mind go blank. “Her dating is a good thing.” Dean said, suddenly. Sam looked at him questioningly. He was confused. Now Dean was happy about losing McKenly. “She doesn’t deserve a hunter’s life. McKenly is great. She can do a lot more.” Sam wasn’t sure who Dean was trying to convince. Sam knew Dean wanted his friend back. Maybe Dean telling himself that her dating was best would make his feelings go away.

The Impala pulled up to the run-down house on the lake. Dean’s eyes bore into the house. He pulled out the picture Lucas gave him. It looked just like the house that was sitting right in front of him.

Dean sighed and looked to Sam. “We gotta get her back. Sans a new boyfriend.

*McKenly’s POV*

I paced the floor, back and forth. I had probably run a dent into the ground. Tossing my phone between each of my hands told me that I was nervous. I didn’t know how to do this. I have never done this. Last guy I dated was six years ago in high school. In high school things aren’t real.

“Stop thinking about high school.” I told myself. “This is now.” I had taken the initiative the program the number Jason gave me in my phone. I kept the receipt though. It was sweet. A lot more sweet than I would normally get. This special attention definitely made me giddy. There were butterflies in my stomach that I haven’t gotten in a long time. Well, at least about a guy that actually liked me.

After taking a deep breath, I pushed the call button on my phone over Jason’s number. It rang…and rang. It rang for what felt like hours when in reality it wasn’t even close to being that long.

“Hello?” he answered and I instantly knew that he was smiling. Just the way his voice sounded made me smile, too.

“Hey, um, is Jason Fisher there?”

“This is Jason.” There was a hint of laughter in his voice. It calmed me instantly.

“Hi, Jason. It’s McKenly. From the grocery store.”

“Yeah, I know who you are.” He said. I smiled. I panicked. I couldn’t find out what words to use next. “I see you got our note.”

“Yeah, yes, of course.” I stumbled. “Are you enjoying your Lucky Charms?” I furrowed my brow, cursed myself, and slapped myself on the forehead. What the hell was that? ‘Are you enjoying your Lucky Charms?’ I took something sweet and innocent and made it look like I was creepy.

He laughed though, which instantly but me at ease. “Yes, Jacob is enjoying them right now, actually.”

“Good. That’s good.” I nodded. “So, um, I was wondering if you wanted to go out for coffee. Doesn’t have to be coffee. It could be lunch or ice cream, maybe just to talk. If you can’t because of Jacob, that’s definitely fine. I would understand. He’s your kid, you know. He’s more your priority than going on some date.”

“McKenly,” he said, stopping me from my embarrassing rant.

“Yeah?”

“I would love to go out with you. I actually hired a sitter tonight. I had some work that I had to get done late, so I can ask her to stay for another hour. We can go out for dessert. I’ll pick you up about 8?”

I smiled. I couldn’t breathe. I had a date. Or at least I would, if I ever managed to say yes. “Yes!” I burst, sounding a little too excited. “I mean, uh, yeah that’d be really great. It’s the old – ”

“Salvage yard. Your Uncle Bobby’s. I remember.” I smiled. He remembered. Gosh, I was like a school girl. “I’ll see you at eight.”

“See ya.” I took the phone away from my ear and ended the call. I threw myself back on the bed and sighed. Tonight was going to be great.