Lost Lies

I woke up to the sound of my alarm clock, my head aching from the night before. I sat up as I skimmed the night stand and grasped for my phone, my eyes adjusting to the light. Dismissing the alarm, something caught my eye in the shadows of my room. Alex stood on the opposite side of the room to Danny.

They stepped out of the shadows; they seemed different, darker than normal. I yawned and let myself slide down under the covers.

“I’d appreciate you two not being with me twenty-four-seven.” I groaned. “How long have you guys been there?”

“Since you fell asleep,” Alex’s muffled voice replied.

“Correction: since ‘you’ put me to sleep, emphasis on the ‘you’.”

“You got some sleep, didn't you? And plus you asked me to stay.”

I grasped at a pillow and lobbed it in the direction of where Alex stood.

“Stalkers,” I mumbled.

“I heard that.” Danny warned.

“You were supposed to. You have super hearing; no matter what I say, you will hear anyway.” I pointed out

“Winter, your safety means more to us than our own at the moment.” Danny informed me.

“You’re starting to sound and act like Detective Hull. I have already been tagged.” I stuck my leg out with the device on to prove my point and continued, “I wouldn't have been in this mess if you didn't find it amusing to randomly pick a person to torment.”

“ OK, so it went too far, it was a stupid thing to do, we get it.” Alex said flatly.

“See? My point proven,” I kicked off the covers and climbed out of bed, “Lovely early eighteenth birthday present.” I whined sarcastically.

I padded over to my wardrobe and stood before it. I was afraid to open it. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. I felt my body shudder as I opened the door to the fresh scent of soap from the clothes, which hung in there.

The wardrobe reminded me of what happened.

I felt tears sting my eyes and a pebble of pain form in my throat. I swallowed the pebble and blinked away the tears, fishing for something warm to wear. I pulled out a white winter jumper and a pair of black jeans. I closed the wardrobe, leaving my hand pressed against its oak door, my head bowed.

I pulled away and turned towards Danny and Alex, who left the room without a word, closing the door behind them. I lay my clothes ready on my bed, wrapped my cast with plastic and covered up the tag the same way, and left my room to take a shower.

After half an hour of freshening up and getting changed and putting on contacts I found, to hide the red of my eyes, I padded downstairs to find the house empty and several cards and presents upon the sofa. Banners, streamers and balloons were scattered around the room.

I wiped away a tear of joy and headed to the sofa. I opened a card at random, discovering in surprise it was from Detective Hull and Detective Hapsburg, wishing me a happy birthday and to have a wonderful day.

“Yeah right,” I muttered to myself, eyeing the tag, which every so often flashed.

I slit open another card, when a car horn sounded from outside and Evangelina’s voice came load and clear in my thoughts.

Carpool, she sang, don’t want to be late for Alex and Danny’s first full day at university.

I dropped the card, quickly flung on my snow white Ugg boots and grabbed my handbag off the kitchen table, but as I started to leave the house, I slowed my pace. I locked the front door and headed over to the white land rover parked at the end of the pavement.

I thought back to yesterday afternoon, when Casper came so close to killing me. The car had broken down - or had it? I shook my head and ignored that twisting nausea in my stomach. I climbed into the front passenger seat, slamming the door behind me and buckling myself in.

I glanced at the overhead mirror where Danny was unhappily planted between Evangelina and Cara, who looked like their normal self’s again. He sensed me looking and looked into the mirror. Our eyes locked and a familiar deadly smile crept on his face. I rolled my eyes and pulled away, glancing at

Alex, who was busy watching the road as he pulled away from the curb in front of my house and onto the road.

As we pulled into a parking space at university, people stopped and stared at the new arrival of a mysterious car. I stepped out of the car first, followed by the rest. I glanced at the staring eyes and froze in my spot as the rest walked away.

Alex stopped mid-stride and looked my way with a questioning look. He crossed over to me, threaded his fingers through mine and pulled me along beside him.

You can’t hide from this forever; you need to stand up for yourself, show them you’re different to what they see you as.

I shook my head as I said, “You’re not the one with a killer reputation - literally.”

“No, I might not, but I am a monster.” He stopped, turning me to face him, pointing over his heart as he continued, “In here.” He placed my hand over his heart, trapping it beneath his hands. “Do you feel that? Do you feel the two separate heartbeats? The fast one and the slow steady one?” he asked with his tone low and rasping. He stared deeply into my eyes.

“Yes,” I whispered shakily.

“That’s a killer, not you, or anyone else. That fast heartbeat is a demon that I can unleash anytime, anywhere, but when a full moon rises I can’t keep it in. You asked me how I became this, didn't you?” He slid his hand up my arms in a quick motion to my shoulders and shook me lightly as he continued, his tone and stare softening, “After university, I promise I will explain everything to you, every last detail, and you can ask me whatever you want, understand?”

I nodded.

“And I’d appreciate if I and my friend here weren't getting stared at by everyone. If you haven’t noticed, this is a private conversation.” He broadcasted to the students who stood staring. They scattered immediately. The rest of the students filed in, leaving us alone in the parking lot.

“Alex,” I said lightly, dropping my arms to my side, but still keeping my gaze locked on his.

“Yes, Winter?”

“Look after me. I don’t want to die this way. I don’t want to die by murder. I want to grow old and die, not -.”

Alex cut me off by pressing his fingers lightly on top of my lips, trapping them closed.

His tone was quiet and weary, as if he was tired of trying. “Winter.” He blew out a sigh.

“Don’t,” I said quickly before he could continue, “I don’t want to listen, it’s been just over a day I have known you and you treat me like I am a valuable piece of art work.”

Alex blew out a frustrated sigh, his body rigid. He looked towards the sky as if asking for Heaven’s help. “Don’t you get it?” He said a bit too fiercely.

“Get what? That you’re a total jerk?” I snapped back.

He dragged his hands down his face, his patience with me slipping away, fast. “Is that how you see me - a jerk?” He questioned harshly.

“Yes, I do! Do you have a problem with that?”

“Yes, after all that I've done for you.”

“Get it into that stupid head of yours: I am not a kid anymore.” I shouted, my anger controlling me.

I shoved past him, barging him with my shoulder as I passed by, walking towards town and far away from him.

I felt his hand grip my arm, stopping me instantly. I looked down to his hand first, then over my shoulder towards him. His expression was hard and frightening. With a hard shift of my arm, his hand fell back to his side.

“Is that it?” He called to me, his tone steady but tight. I stopped in my tracks, still facing away from him. “Are you just going to walk away from a fight?”

“In fights people get hurt, to the point of death in some cases. If I walk away now, I won’t be hurt, simple.” I said through gritted teeth without turning round.

In a matter of seconds, I felt his tense body a millimeter from mine, heat radiating off him. I turned slowly to face him and looked into his eyes. They danced with hurt and anger. I took a deep breath and looked away in shame.

“You’re right; if you walk away in a fight, you won’t get hurt,” he laughed sadly, cupping my chin with one hand and turning my head to look him in the eyes. “I know you’re angry and I shouldn't have made it even worse for you. I’m sorry.” He whispered apologetically.

I closed my eyes for a brief moment, and then laughed softly. “No need to apologies. I shouldn't have called you a jerk. You, Danny, Cara and Evangelina have been the best thing that happened to me these past few days.”

I awkwardly patted his shoulder, and then walked around him to go to class.

“Wait,” he called after me.

“Can we walk and talk?” I asked over my shoulder.

“Sure,” he said, jogging to my side. “Can I ask you a personal question – well, a few?”

“Go ahead.”

“Are you afraid of me?”

“Yes, but not much.” I answered simply, passing through the automatic doors of the building and heading towards English Literature.

“Ok, well, that’s good. Do you like me?”

“Like you in what way?” I asked, stopping just outside my classroom door and turning to face him. His hand pressed against my cheek, a faint smile on his lips.

I cupped my hand over his and closed my eyes, letting out the breath I must have been holding in.

“Oh, that way,” I whispered. “Can’t we talk about this later?” I asked, looking at the classroom door.

“No, I need to know now. Was that kiss just to fill up that empty void in your heart, or did you mean it?”

“Alex, please not here, not now.” I begged and looked into his eyes, but looked away just as fast. I couldn't look into those emerald green eyes filled with rejection.

Alex shook his head in frustration and walked into the classroom. Before he could enter fully, I gripped his arm, pulling him back out.

I smiled apologetically at Mrs Hopkins, my wiry white haired teacher who had more wrinkles than a bed sheet after being slept in. She stood impatiently, arms folded, her oak brown eyes staring at me through her wire framed glasses.

When the door was fully closed behind us, I blew out a rigid sigh and said, “Alex, please, understand that I am going through hell at the moment. Yes, I meant that kiss, I really did, but it’s hard to love or to care when your life is at stake, you found out what your friends really are and that your boyfriend has died because some jackass loser wanted to get at you by hurting your friends. There isn't the time or effort left in me to do so.”

“I understand,” he whispered sadly.

“Can we talk about this properly later? I think Old Grey there is going to land us with a nice big detention.” I smiled when Alex smiled a grin so dazzling I felt my heart skip a beat.

Like a gentlemen, he held the classroom door open for me. We entered one after another into the staring eyes of our fellow class members.