Inspire

Everything faded into the background whenever I was engrossed in my art. I was in a vacant room where there was nothing but me and a lifetime supply of all of the paints, pastels, charcoals and any other art supply imaginable. The room was my canvas and I can make it anything I want to make it. I envisioned myself standing before one of the bare walls with a paintbrush in one hand and a palette in the other. The paintbrush danced across the walls creating the images inside of my head. A plethora of colors swam across the walls, swirls of vibrant colors mixing with the dull creating new hues. My thoughts were interrupted abruptly as a ball landed on the sketchbook that was in my lap causing me to jump slightly. I took the ball in my hand and examined it. It was pink with Minnie Mouse on it. As I looked up from the ball, I saw a figure walking towards me and I openly stared as the young man made his way towards me, small girl with long, silky brunette hair at his side.

He opened his mouth to speak, but “I am so sorry” were the only words that I heard as my eyes traced over his physique. His light brown hair was short but messy and long enough to comb your fingers through, and I imagined myself running my fingers through his hair, the soft locks tickling my fingers. His skin looked so smooth and his cheeks were dusted with pink, his eyes were the perfect shape of an almond and his blue orbs were wide and frantic as he stared straight back into my eyes. My eyes then traced over his nose that was slightly covered in freckles and was just a bit pointed. And his mouth, I watched as apologies spilled from those thin, pink lips that were slightly chapped. His lips had stopped moving and he was now abusing his lip with his teeth, and I wanted to open my mouth and tell him to stop torturing his beautiful lips like that but I didn't.

My eyes traveled down to the small toddler at his side. Her eyes were wide and full of innocence, and they were the same pale blue as the man who stood next to her and I wondered if they were siblings, or cousins, or maybe she was his daughter. Her skin was a tad bit paler than his and her rosy cheeks were so adorable and pinch-able. An over-sized shirt covered her small body and pink UGGS adorned her feet. It would be adorable if it weren't still winter. I know spring starts next month, but it was still winter and pretty cool out. For a moment I wondered why she didn't have a jacket covering her arms. She was half hidden behind his leg and her eyes were locked on the ball I held in my hand. My eyes shifted from the girl down to the ball and I was slowly pulled back into reality. I offered the ball to the little girl staring into her uncertain eyes. She looked up at the man beside her and then back at me and eagerly took the ball from my hands. I gave her a smile and looked back up at the man who had stopped chewing on his lip.

“Thank you,” he said. “And again, I’m so sorry.”

I nodded. “It’s no problem.”

He stood awkwardly before me, unsure of what to do or say before simply nodding once and turning around, grabbing the little girl’s hand and walking away. I watched them depart and the little girl was running eagerly for the swings with the man running closely after her. He took the ball from her small hands and sat it down near his feet as he lift her up and put her on the swing. I could imagine the excitement in her young eyes as she gripped the chains and he got behind her ready to push. As he pushed her I could picture a huge smile on her face and a fit of giggles escaping her plump lips, the ball was long forgotten as she soared through the sky. For a second I wondered what she was imagining as she was being pushed. I know I used to pretend I was on a spaceship out in space and sometimes I would be flying with the birds. Children were capable of so much imagination, and only few would hold on to that imagination as they got older. I guess I was one of the few.

Quickly, I grabbed an ebony pencil and began sketching out the scene in front of me. Glancing down at the picture, a smile lit up my face as I admired my work. When I looked back up the guy was holding the girl in his arms along with the ball. Her small, chubby arms were locked around his neck as he began to walk away from the playground and I couldn't help but smile at the sight. As I watched him depart, I realized that the sun was starting to disappear behind the horizon. Letting a sigh pass between my lips, I gathered my things, placing them inside of my backpack and slung my backpack over my shoulder.

~

The next day I went back to the park around the dame time in hopes to see him and his daughter. I sat on the bench with my sketchbook in hand, my eyes scanning over the park searching for my muse with no such luck. The park was always the place I went to for inspiration, to think, but now every time I went I was looking for something, for someone. It was about a week until I saw him again. It wasn't as cold as it has been, but still cold to the point where you’d need to wear a jacket. I was sitting in my usual spot on the bench sketching a new shirt design when I heard the most pleasing sound I have ever heard. Looking up from my work, I spotted them. She was running around in another over-sized t-shirt, with those cute little UGGS on her feet, but this time she was wearing a jacket though the jacket was a little too big for her, too. Then there he was, pretending he was some sort of monster and chasing after her causing a fit of giggles and high-pitched screams to leave her mouth. A smile spread across my lips and I turned to a clean page in my sketchbook, forgetting the design I had been working on.

My pencil automatically started moving across the page sketching the scene that played out before me. My hand moved quickly in order to get everything just right before they took different positions. The girl had begun climbing up the slide the wrong way and once she made it to the top she looked back to see that he had disappeared. A frown appeared on her plump little lips and I couldn't help but frown along with her even though I knew he had not left her. He came up behind her causing her to jump and scream. Laughing, he grabbed her and wrapped his arms around her as they slid down the slide. She laughed the whole way down and it caused a low chuckle to escape from me.

He kissed the giggling girl’s temple and as he looked up our eyes met. I was sort of panicking as his eyes met mine. He was too far for me to see them, but I could only imagine those pale blue orbs full of confusion and curiosity staring into my eyes. He quickly turned away and took the small girl’s hand in his larger one and walked away. Like the last time, I watched them depart and then I returned to my sketchbook. Looking down at the sketch of the man and the small girl, I took my index finger and traced over the jagged lines. As I studied the picture, I wondered again what relation the two had with one another. They were obviously related, she has his eyes. Closing my sketchbook, I decided that I should be heading home too.

As I entered my apartment I was met with silence. I threw my backpack on the floor and grabbed a water bottle from the fridge before heading to the room I spend most of my time in. Flipping on the light, I was met with paint-splattered walls, a newspaper covered floor and canvases—some blank, some unfinished, and some completed—from wall to wall. I had a two-bedroom apartment, because I needed a room for my artwork. I took off my shirt and threw on the floor outside of the door so I wouldn't get paint on it. My pants were already tattered and torn, so I didn't bother removing them. I stood before a blank canvas and picked up a paint brush dipping it in black paint before pressing the brush to the canvas. The brush glided across the canvas as I painted an eerie black tree, but halfway through painting it I decided that I didn't like it. Groaning, I took the canvas off of the easel and threw it on the floor in another pile of canvases of unworthy pieces of art. I replaced the canvas with another blank one and sat it on the easel. I stood in front of the blank canvas for hours before I was overwhelmed with inspiration. I began to mix paints and let the brush dance across the canvas.

~

“So, you’re stalking a man and his kid at a park?” Charlotte, the girl I call my best friend, asked.

“I’m not stalking him,” I defended myself. “And I don’t even know if it’s is kid. They can be siblings, or cousins.”

“Psh, it’s totally his kid.”

I didn’t reply as I helped my friend hang up red, white and pink hearts on the walls and from the ceilings. Valentine’s was in a few days and she was having her annual Valentine’s party. Charlotte was the party type whereas I just went to her parties to get out of the house if I wasn’t occupied with my artwork. She had parties for everything and when I say everything I mean everything. I had told her about the guy from the park and the little girl he’s always with which was probably a bad idea. I called her after I started painting that picture the other day. The pale blue eyes I had painted on the canvas resembled his so much, it looked so real and that’s when I realized what I was painting. I memorized every contour of his physique that I didn’t need a picture or the real thing to look at. The image of his face was forever engraved in my memory.

“You should invite them to my party,” Charlotte said suddenly, quickly snapping me out of my thoughts.

“No,” I dismissed quickly.

Charlotte whined. “Why not?”

Why not? Why not, she asks. Well, I don’t know him. I haven’t had a full-blown conversation with the man. I used to go to the park for the purpose of drawing, thinking, and inspiration only. Now I go, not only for those purposes, but to watch this guy and little girl play and then I sketch them in my sketchbook. So, no, I can’t invite him to this party. If he found out things could go wrong in so many ways. I wasn’t willing to take the risk.

“Just no,” I answered. “I have to go; I help you finish everything tomorrow.”

Charlotte pouted as I hugged her and grabbed my backpack from its place on the floor. With one last goodbye, I left the club and made my way to the park. When I got there I found it deserted as I sat in my usual spot on the bench. Taking out my sketchbook, I gazed out at the playground envisioning the man and his daughter running about, their melodious laughter filling the air. If my sketches don’t say “creepy, stalker dude” this definitely does. A groan escaped my lips as I threw my head back. Maybe I should go. Maybe I should find a new park.

“Um…are you alright?”

I jumped slightly at the sound of that voice and looked up to see him standing before me. His eyes held so much concern, he gnawed at his bottom lip nervously and his hands were stuffed in his pockets. For a moment I just stared at him, my eyes roaming over his body and I’d bet he was feeling very uncomfortable right about now. I shook my head slightly and blinked.
“Oh, yeah, I was just thinking,” I replied with a smile.

“Oh.” He shuffled his feet awkwardly on the concrete, looking down at his worn out converse.

That’s when I noticed something missing. She wasn’t hiding behind his leg. I looked towards the playground, it was still deserted and I’m pretty sure he wouldn’t let her out of his sight anyways.

“Where’s your sister?” I asked looking back at the boy.

He looked up at me with his eyebrows furrowed. “Huh?”

“The girl who is always with you,” I clarified.

Realization crossed his face and he let out a nervous chuckle before his cheeks turned pink. “Oh, um, Alanna? She wasn’t feeling too well, so I left her with a friend.” He explained. “And um…she, she’s not my sister. She’s my-my daughter,” he said softly.

My eyes widened slightly causing him to bite his lip. “Oh.” I didn’t know what else to say, so I just sat there and it got awkward real quick. This was the first time we’ve had a real conversation and I wasn’t ready for him to leave yet, so before he turned to walk away I asked him to take a seat.

“Oh, um…I don’t want to disturb you,” he dismissed the offer.

“Oh, you’re not. I just got here a few minutes ago anyways. Sit.” He nodded and hesitantly took a seat next to me.

“So, what brings you here than?” I asked suddenly.

“I just needed to go for a walk,” he replied with a shrug. “To clear my mind, ya know?”

“Yeah,” I nodded in understanding. “Oh, I’m Dominic, by the way,” I said holding out my hand to him.

He looked down at my hand and then up at me as he shook my hand. “Jake.”

“Nice to meet you, Jake,” I said with a smile.

“You, too, so, what brings you here?”

“I come here to think and draw,” I answered motioning down to my sketchbook. Bad idea.

“Oh, can I see?” he asked.

His blue eyes were sparkling in excitement and I bit my lip. I can’t let him see the sketches I did of him and his daughter. What would he think of me? He’d think I’m a creep, a stalker, a pedophile. There’s no way I can let him see, but he seems so interested.

“There’s nothing in this one yet,” I lied.

“Oh,” he frowned but then a smile quickly appeared on his face. “Alanna loves to draw, but it’s just scribbles now.”

I nodded and smiled. “She’s real adorable.”

A look of pure adoration lit up his face as he replied with a simple “yeah”. Anyone could tell how much he loved the young girl even if they didn’t know him. It was evident in his eyes, in the way he talked about her, the way held her close. It was obvious that she meant so much to him and that filled me with so much more inspiration. I couldn’t wait to get back home and stand before that canvas again. Of course, I also wasn’t ready for him to leave my presence so I didn’t say anything. I just enjoyed his company.

“I should get going,” Jake said suddenly.

I frowned as I was snapped out of my thoughts and I looked at Jake as he stood up. Charlotte’s suggestion came to mind and I decided that it couldn’t hurt. Besides, I’ve had a conversation with him now. Well, sort of.

“Hey, Jake, do you and Alanna like parties?”

Jake’s eyebrows furrowed. “Uh, I guess.”

I stood up with my sketchbook in my hand and grinned. “You two should come to my friend’s party this Thursday. It’s a Valentine’s party.”

“Oh, I-I don’t know.”

“Come on, it’d be fun. I know we don’t know each other well, but I swear it’s not a trap.”

He bit his lip and contemplation. “Um, I’ll think about it.”

I grinned. “Great!” I exclaimed. Snatching a blank page from my sketchbook, I quickly scribbled my number on it and gave it to him. “You can call if you finally come to a decision.” I handed him the paper and he hesitantly took it and nodded.

“O-Okay,” he said and turned to leave.

“Oh, and tell little Alanna I hope she feels better.”

He turned around and smiled at me and nodded. “Thank you.”

~

Jake never called. I was stupid for thinking he would. We didn’t even know each other and shared a few words yesterday, why would he trust me so easily. Sighing, I plopped down on the bench at the park and took out my sketchbook. I was sketching a squirrel that was lying flat on its belly when my vision was blocked by a slightly wrinkled plaid shirt. I looked up to see Jake hovering over me with a smile on his face. I returned the smile and sat my sketchbook aside.

“That looks amazing,” he breathed, peering down at the squirrel I was halfway finished sketching.

“Thank you, so, um…have you thought about it?”

He bit his lip. “Oh, yeah, sorry, my phone wasn’t working. I’d love to go, but Alanna doesn’t have anything to wear and I can’t find anyone to watch her.”

“She can wear anything." He bit his lip and as I watched him I remembered the times that they were here and how she would always wear an oversized t-shirt and once she wore a jacket that was a tad bit too big. I didn’t want to pry, so I didn’t ask him any questions. I could help him out though, I was, after all, a fashion designer and I just happened to have the perfect little red dress for Alanna.

“I may have something for her,” I said, a huge grin on my face. “How about you two come by my place before the party tomorrow?” I suggested.

“Um, I don’t know…” Jake said unsurely.

“I swear I’m not trying to harm you or your daughter,” I said seriously.

Jake still looked uncertain but then nodded slowly. I smiled and tore a clean page from my sketchbook and wrote down my address on it and gave it to him. “I don’t live too far from here.”

“Okay, we’ll be there,” he said with a small smile.

I returned the smile and watched him walk away. When he was out of sight I gathered my things and began my walk home. As soon as I got inside I threw my backpack on the floor and went into the room I reserved for my art. I pulled open the closet and dug around until I found what I was looking for: a cute little red dress with a big bow around the waist and ruffles at the bottom. I grinned and took the dress into the living area. I placed it on the couch and then went back into the art room. I uncovered the canvas that was on the easel and admired it. It was the painting of Jake and Alanna. Her arms were wrapped tightly around his neck and there was a big smile on her face and her rosy cheeks were dusted with pink. Jake returned the smile and held her close to him. Both of their blue eyes were on each other and anyone could see the love in their eyes. This was the second painting I did of the father and daughter. The other one was sitting on the floor with a tarp over it. I bit my lip as I admired the painting. From an outsiders point of view they’d think I was this creep who was stalking a father and his daughter. But I wasn’t. I didn’t normally draw people without their permission, but these two just captivated me. Sighing, I turned out the light and shut the door. I’ve never been excited about one of Charlotte’s parties, but I sure couldn’t wait for tomorrow.

~

There was a knock on the door and my eyes lit up as I did the last button on my shirt. I hurried to the door and pulled it open to see my latest fixation and his adorable daughter standing before me. She was wearing a shirt that fit her this time and some jeans with her usual pink UGGS. I smiled at them and stepped aside for them to enter. Alanna’s eyes scanned the room curiously as Jake sat her down on her feet. I opened the closet near the door and pulled out a bright red dress and held it up to Jake.

His mouth dropped as he looked at the dress I held before him. “It’s beautiful. How much was it? I’ll you back as soon as I-“

I started to laugh and shook my head at him. “I mad e it, and I’m giving it to her so I you don’t have to give me anything for it.”

Jake’s cheeks brightened. “You made it?”

I nodded. “I’m sort of a fashion designer and sometimes I like to make my designs myself,” I explained with a shrug.

“It’s so pwetty!” Alanna gushed.

“The bathroom is on the left,” I said as I handed Jake the dress. He thanked me and guided Alanna to the bathroom to put on her new dress. As they were getting ready in the bathroom I went to my room and grabbed a bag before heading back into the living room.

“Ta da!” I turned around to see Alanna twirling around in her dress and smiled.

“Tell Mr. Dominic thank you,” Jake said to the beaming toddler.

The small girl ran towards me and swooped her up in my arms. “Thank you, Mr. Dommy!” She said wrapping her arms around my neck.

I chuckled. “You’re welcome,” I said setting her down on her feet. I grabbed something out of the bag I took from my room and hid something behind my back. I kneeled down so that I was at eye level with Alanna. “Alanna, will you be my Valentine?” I asked holding a box of chocolate out to her.

Her eyes lit up and she grabbed the chocolate from my hands. “Thank you, Mr. Dommy,” she said.

I stood back up and saw Jake staring at me. I smiled and his cheeks heated up. I grabbed the bag from the counter and made my way over to him with my arms behind my back. “Is it okay if I have two Valentines?” I asked.

“I-uh-um…”

I chuckled and handed him the bag. I never celebrated Valentine’s Day, but I thought it’d be nice to buy gifts for Jake and Alanna. He took the bag from my hand hesitantly and pulled out a small bear that held a small rose and box of chocolates. He bit his lip looking up at me and then opened his mouth to say something but a loud gasp stopped him.

“Alanna!” His eyes were wide as he frantically looked around the room.

“Oh no,” I groaned, my eyes widening as well as I saw that the door to my art room was open.

I quickly made my way to the room with Jake close behind me. I stood in the door-frame with a horrified look on my face. Alanna stood in front of the painting admiring my work. I couldn’t see her face, but I could only imagine that her eyes were wide and full of wonder and excitement. A small gasp came from beside me and my breath caught in my throat as I anticipated Jake’s reaction. He squeezed between me and the door-frame and went to stand next to Alanna. He reached his hand out as if to touch the painting but thought better of it and dropped it by his side as he examined the painting. I was silently freaking out and imagining the worst to happen. I was slowly anticipating the moment he took the canvas and threw it on the floor or punch a hole in it, but it did no such thing.

“Look, Daddy!” he small girl exclaimed in excitement.

Jake didn’t say anything, instead he turned around to me and I flinched as I readied myself for his yelling. “It’s-it’s-you…” Great, he was so made that he couldn't even form coherent sentences.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s wrong and kinda creeperish, or really creeperish of me to paint it, but I couldn’t help myself. You two are just so fascinating and I understand if you want to destroy or if you want to leave or-“

I hadn’t even realized Jake was standing in front of me until his soft hand covered my mouth. I stared at him with wide eyes. “It’s beautiful,” he breathed. He took his hand away from my mouth and smiled at me. “Yes, it is creepy that you painted this and don’t even have a picture of us…I hope, but it’s beautiful.”

“I swear I don’t have a picture of you two, I just-that day the ball landed in my lap I sort of drew you in my head and then one day I came home and did this,” I explained biting my lip.

“Well, I think it’s kind of sweet.”

“Really?” I asked feeling relieved.

He nodded and smiled at me. “You’re really sweet.”

I smiled back at him and as I gazed into his eyes I wanted to lean in and capture his lips with mine, but I caught sight of Alanna in the corner of my eye and decided that I’d save it for when we were alone or when a certain three year old wasn’t around.