So Much for My Happy Ending

"I have it on good authority that if you don't actually try, you won't be getting out of here any quicker." Elise smirked at me from her perch on the giant bouncy ball she resided on; the both of us annoying the physical therapists that were currently working with me.
"Yeah, well how the hell is lifting weights going to help me get back the ability to walk? I have a break in my femur, not my humerus," the last part was directed at the unhelpful therapist coaching me to keep up with the others working around me.
"I don't get it either, dude. I think they need new physical therapists. This one has potato mush for brains." The physical therapist, Kristie, shot her an affronted look; Elise responded with grinning sweetly at her, "don't hate the player, hate the game."
I sat up the weights clanging on the ground where they landed and promptly choked, "you did not just say that." My face contorted as I coughed, laughter spilling out when I could catch my breath. She slapped me on the back several times and asked me if I was okay. "Yeah, dude. I just can't believe you said that. Have you been hanging with Brian?"
"Your Uncle?"
"No my ex."
"Maybe." I shook my head at her awkward face.
I went back to lifting the weights, muscles complaining and my bones aching. I really don't understand why I have to do this!
~
"This food is disgusting." Brian shakes his head in disgust, squishing the "meat loaf" with his fork.
"This is food? I thought it was feces from a pig." Elise responds and takes a sip of her Mountain Dew.
I spoon a bit of the pudding I was eating and studied it. It didn't even look like pudding. It looks like someone shit in a bowl and decided to feed it to us, it doesn't taste much better.
This is why we can't have nice things.
Brian, Elise, and I are currently sitting in my room eating lunch. Brian managed to get off work to swing by and chill. I have to admit that I've missed him. Not in the way that we used to be when we were dating. Just him in general. We were friends before we dated.
Now, my spidey-senses were tingling. Brian and Elise were totally going to hook up and it's going to make my day.
"Did that pudding just move?" Elise asked me around a mouthful of Reese's, eyes wide in horror.
I glance down at the goop and grimace, "It just might have." I set it down on the tray and look at Brian's meat loaf. "You gonna eat it or what, boo."
"Or what." He replies, setting it down. "I'll just steal one of these," he reaches over and grabs a Reese's right out of Elise's hand and she squawks. I raise an eyebrow as she slaps him in the back of the head.
"No! Bad dog!" She try's in vain to get it back. He stuffs it in his mouth and makes obscene noises. Elise turns bright red and looks away quickly.
"Aw, you're such an awkward panda!" Brian says.
"Shut up..." She mumbles.
~
'I can't believe I'm sitting next to Zoltan Bathory.' ~Elise
'You look like an overly excited puppy.' ~Megs
'ZOLTAN BATHORY.' ~Elise
'Yes, I know who he is.' ~Megs
'DO YOU!? DO YOU REALLY!' ~Elise
'Yes, I'm quite certain.' ~Megs
'I don't think you do.' ~Elise
'I'm trying to watch The Walking Dead. If you would be so kind as to sTOP BOTHERING ME ABOUT ZOLTAN.' ~Megs
' :P' ~Elise
'You're awkward.' ~Megs
~
"What the fuck is a golly-hopper?" Jeremy asks, his face contorted into a confuse face.
"You're throat, dipshit." I reply, not looking away from the screen.
"But... why is it called that?"
"Does it look like I know?"
"You have a sexy golly-hopper." I look over at him then, my eyes growing wide. He has a sexy smirk situated on his face.
"That... that will never leave your mouth. Ever. Again." I tell him slowly. "Sexy and golly-hopper do not go in the same sentence. Unless you're a redneck hick."
He holds his hands up in surrender, "whatever you say babe." I roll my eyes.
"And don't call me babe."
~
"You drew a dick on my cast." I glare harshly at Andy. McKenna cackles from where she sits on the ground.
"Why would you do that?" Aleia asks between her wheezing laughter.
Andy shrugs nonchalantly, "I do what I want."
"Loki does what he wants to." McKenna says brightly.
"A dick, Andy!" I shout.
I wasn't really angry, just picking on him. He'd think I was angry sooner or later and start groveling, then I could get him to go and pick me up a burger from Sonic. He's my little monkey that does my bidding.
"Don't pretend you don't love that dick. You want to marry it and make love to it." I rolled my eyes at him.
"Why would she do that. It's not even a real dick, just a drawing of a dick." Aleia points out.
"Because it's my dick." Andy replies, "You want my dick, but can't touch it."