So Much for My Happy Ending

Now that I had discovered what was going on with Mom, Dad, and the rest of the guys, minus Jimmy, things had gone back to normal. Well as normal as my family could be. The only abnormal thing was that my Mom was hovering and my Dad just ignored me all together. That was strange. I'm used to him paying incredibly close attention to me. At first it was a nice change. After a week and half however, not so much.

For example: When I would try and speak with him on something; he would ignore me. Maybe give me a yes or no answer if it required that. It was normally a yes so I would leave him alone.

The oddity of the situation was the fact that normally the roles were reversed. Mom would ignore me, not to the extent that Dad was, and Dad would hover. Whether or not the rest of the family noticed the change, I wouldn't know.

I could kind of understand the situation. I mean, Mom lost the baby. She would need the reassurance of her only other child that was alive. It wasn't as annoying as what you would think it was. Besides, it was a nice change from her greeting me and then going on about her business. Mom was always more of a friend than she was a mother. I can also understand Dad's situation. He had always wanted another kid. Always. Specifically he had wanted a boy. The doctors had originally assumed that I was a boy. Obviously they were wrong. Dad was going through a grieving process. His grieving process included him ignoring the ones that he holds closest.

His emotions were volatile. Calm before the storm fits my father perfectly. I knew that whatever he was bottling up was going to rain a shit storm down upon us when he finally releases it. I only knew this because I was just like him. Holding things in until they could no longer be held and then lash out at whomever was closest. I could only hope that no one was around when it is released.

Through my musings I hadn't heard the door to my room open.

"Hey." I didn't need to look to see who it was. I knew the second he entered the room that it was Jimmy.

"Hey." Sally tried to jump off the bed so she could go and greet Jimmy. She began whimpering when she realized that she was to far from the floor to jump. Jimmy's laugh reached my ears as he walked over to the bed and lied down on it. She immediately attacked him in the way that only a puppy could do. I smiled as I watched the two. "What are you doing here Jimmy?"

"What? I can't come visit my niece?"

'Not when your niece is head over heels for you.' I wanted to scream at him that I wasn't his niece. That would cause more damage than what's already been done to our relationship. Not what I would want.

"No. I was just curious as to why you were here." I shrugged.

"Hmm." He scratched his beard that he'd been growing lately. Wasn't very long but it was enough to be called a beard. "I just wanted to see how you were holding up more or less." He told me honestly.

How was I feeling? I'd told you how my parent's were feeling. Now it's time to tell you how I felt.

I felt angry. To tell the truth, I missed hanging with my Dad and just being able to talk to him. Not have him ignore me. I wanted my Mom to go back to ignoring me. In my mind I couldn't have both parents paying attention to me. It had to be one or the other. That's how I'd grown up. I'd grown up as Daddy's Little Girl.

I'm not trying to make my Mom look bad, really I wasn't. That's how I'm making it seem. I loved my Mom to death. She'd just always been busy when I was little. Dad was super busy as well but he'd always found time to do things with me or taking me to the studio with him. Mom would always bring me home stuff when she'd leave. She'd take me out for a Mother/Daughter day and that was it.

"I'm fine." I lied.

"That's great. Now tell me the truth." I sighed. I was an open book for Jimmy. He knew my moods like they were his own. He knew me like I was the back of his hand.

"I'm angry."

"Care to elaborate?" I shook my head. "Come on!" He poked my stomach making me giggle. "Talk to me." He mimed like he was talking into a phone and held the 'phone' out to me.

"No!" I laughed.

"Aw, come on Miss Sanders. You know you want to." He waved his hand around in my face.

"You really want to know!?"

"Yes!"

"I don't like how Dad is always ignoring me. I want to hang with him like we used to and not have him ignore me. I understand he's upset about the baby, but does that really mean he has to treat me like I'm just some fucking kid living with him?" I sat up and tugged at my hair. Jimmy sighed.

"I'm sorry Meagan. It's not fair that Matt is doing this to you. He's just... having a tough time. He won't really talk to anyone but Brian."

Something you may not know about my Uncle Brian and Aunt Michelle. They had been preparing for a baby a few years back when I was 12. They had the room set up, the name picked out, and everything. They'd gone out one day to the mall and taken Mom, McKenna, Aleia, and me with them. Uncle Brian was going to drop us off and he would do his own thing. We had been there maybe for an hour when Aunt Michelle had started complaining that her stomach hurt.

Naturally, we'd all been worried and asked her if she wanted us to call Uncle Brain. She'd said no and that the baby was just moving around. She was 4 1/2 months pregnant at the time. We were getting ready to wait for Uncle Brian when it happened. She'd started clutching her stomach and wailing. Mom had grabbed on to her because she started falling. The rest of it was a blur. There was so much blood everywhere.

When we'd gotten her to the doctor later they'd told us she'd miscarried. I remember seeing Uncle Brian cry for the first time ever. It'd only gotten worse when they'd told them that they could never have any children. If they did it would most likely kill Aunt Michelle and the baby.

It made perfect sense for Dad to go to Uncle Brian. He knew just how Dad felt.

"I just wish he would talk to me."

"I'm sorry kid." He sat up and wrapped his arms around me. "I don't know what to tell you." He quickly took notice to how my face fell. "But hey, you got me! I'm much better than your dumb old Dad." He winked at me.

"If you say so." He mocked offense.

"If that's how you are gonna play it then take this!" He poked me in the stomach. I gasped and poked back.

And this is how poke wars start. Not those stupid poke wars on facebook either. This is the real fucking deal! I was laughing so hard I had tears running down my face. Sometime during this whole ordeal Jimmy ended up on top of me. Not that I was complaining. I was enjoying every second of this. It's not everyday we decide to have tickle fights. We should probably have more of them if we always end up in this position.

After a little while Jimmy stopped tickling me. It was only then that I realized how incredibly close we were. Maybe a few inches apart. I could feel his breath fanning across my face. It was almost like a chemically induced trance. All I could do was stare at Jimmy with my eyes flickering down to his lips. He moved closer and I felt my breath catch in the back of my throat.

Was this really fixing to happen?

"Meagan!" Jimmy rolled off of me and lay back down beside me. I mentally cursed my mother. "Meagan!"

"Yeah? I'm in my room!' I shouted. Seconds later her head appeared in the doorway. She smiled brightly at Jimmy and me.

"I'm so glad I found you Jimmy! Leanna just called wanting to know where you were. She said something about a conference. Said you'd know what that meant." Jimmy cursed loudly and hopped of my bed.

"I gotta go! Bye Meagan. Bye Val!" He kissed my Mom's cheek on the way out. Sometimes it was hard to remember that he wasn't just my Dad's best friend. He was my Mom's as well.

"Bye!" I called after him slightly disappointed. I mean, we had been just about to kiss! At least I think we were?

"Now then! You are coming with me! We are going to have a spa day." I groaned. "Now what's with that!" She playfully swatted me as I made my way past her.

"Nothing Mom. Are we doing anything after that?"

"Yes, we are going to go eat at The Cheesecake Factory." I straightened at the mention of mine and my Dad's favorite restaurant.

"Is Dad going to meet us there?" I asked hopefully. Mom quieted and shook her head. I huffed out in frustration.

"I'm sorry Sweetie." She whispered.

"It's fine." Only it wasn't.

I walked down the stairs and was headed for the door when I saw Dad in the living room playing X-Box Live. I walked quietly in there so I wouldn't disturb him and he leaves. He was playing COD. I raised my eyebrow as a Zombie attacked him from behind. Of course if I was playing with him I could have been watching his back.

"Okay! Meagan let's go." Mom said from the doorway. Dad glanced back at us; startled. "Bye Matt. I love you." Dad grumbled in reply.

"Bye Dad." It was a bit hopeful sounding. I wanted him to put down the controller and offer to go with us. He didn't as so much blink an eye at me. Just turned back round to his game. I growled in frustration and slammed the door behind me.

"We are going to have fun." Mom nodded her head. I smiled softly at her. I really did love my Mom.