Your Life? It'll Be Okay..

Austins POV

Right when the Vic kid walked in was when my group had it's entertainment. They walked right up to him with me behind them and started calling him names. “Hey faggot ass, what's going on?” was the first thing Alan had said.

I saw it had struck Vic in a way that might have made him want to cry. But I saw him hold it back while he walked to his seat. I could see him trying to ignore it. He was one strong person to deal with that.

As soon as he sat down they all stood around him like he was the new kid or something. I was close behind them making sure they didn't notice that I didn't want to be here. “We asked you a question shit face!” Alan yelled at him. It made me upset how short tempered he was.

But the face that Vic gave him after he had said that was fucking hilarious. It was like a “Fuck off/ You're dumb as fuck” face. Which pissed Alan off to no extent. “Listen gay ass, I don't know why you go around our school spreading your gayness but if I were you I would stop and just kill myself already” Alan had said that like he was going to murder him with words.

They all laughed. I just stood there. I didn't even pretend to laugh. What Alan had just said to Vic was intolerable for even me. I wasn't even the one being bullied and I wanted to just lay in a hole and die at those words.

The next thing you know Vics cheeks were covered in tears. Which didn't help his situation at all. Although he couldn't help it. I probably would have cried if it were me though. “Sit down and take out your math homework” Said the teacher when he walked in.

Vic asked to go to the bathroom. When he left Tony and Jaime were joking about how he cuts and his family situations. How they don't love him and wish that he would die also. I actually didn't see any cuts on him. He was probably hiding them somewhere under his coat.

I had enough of it for one day and walked out after a few minutes.

I hated how my friends treat everyone like they're shit. If I was brave enough I would say something to them about it. Buutttttt I'm not brave. At all. I'm actually the most scared person in the world when it came to standing up to someone.

Anyways, I felt bad for the Vic guy. In my eyes he didn't deserve anything my friends gave him. All that shit talking and bullying. I have nothing against gays. But I feel like they put it on themselves when people make fun of them.

It's like when guys hold each others hands it's practically telling every asshole out there to bully them about it. Tony, Jaime and the rest of the gang hated gays. Which they made sure was visibly noticeable by making the only “out of the closet” gay kid at our schools life a living hell.

And I had no choice but to watch. I hated just standing there. But I make sure I don't get involved with the physical/emotional abuse. I can't do it. I don't have the guts. And the guys never really ask me about it either. So I keep it that way.

I had left early because 1) I hated school and 2) I was getting tired of my friends. So I decided to go to a little place I knew of. I go there almost every time I need peace and quite. Which is frequently.

When I arrived I took my shoes off and went down to the water to stand in it for a couple of minutes. I went just ankle deep and stopped. I stood there for what seemed like ever just looking at the stars blocking everything out and wishing my mother was here.

I think my life would be much easier with her around. To take care of me more and tell me things. My dad does a good job of it. I just wish I had a females opinion on things sometimes. Especially a mothers opinion.

She died a couple of years ago. I don't really remember much about it though. It's like that moment of my life was a blur. I have no idea how I reacted and how my father reacted. But I do know I miss her with all of my heart.

I felt my eyes getting watery. I decided it was time to go. I turned around and started walking when I saw someone laying on a blanket. He looked young so I went to see if I could catch a glimpse of him without him noticing.

I walked about five feet around him and leaned in to see. He looked like he was asleep or almost there. It was just a little dark, but just enough to where I couldn't tell unless I got closer. I recognized him. “Vic? What the hell are you doing here?” I said before stopping myself.

I think I scared him. He looked up and realized it was me. He looked like he was afraid of me and that I was about to beat him up or something. He got up carefully and started to shake his blanket and fold it up. He started to walk away really faast.

“Wait.” I said. What am I even going to say to him? He still didn't say anything but he turned around. As soon as he was facing me I happened to look at his arm for some weird reason. There I saw about six or seven new cuts.

I didn't know what to say after I saw that so I started to walk away without saying anything to him. I'm pretty sure he was more confused than I was. But I had never seen self harm in person. It really scared me.

I turned around to see if he was still there, but he was gone. Good. I didn't want to have to explain this to him. I was so scared. Now he probably thinks I have problems. Fuck. Shouldn't have walked away.

I have to figure out how to explain it to him. I want him to know I'm not one of the guys. That I actually just want to be his friend..

I stopped to think for a second. He shouldn't be too far away from the stop where I had seen him. Maybe if I can run and try to find him and explain it'll be easier for me and him to understand. I ran in the direction of which I came.

Just a few seconds later I came to the spot. He was right there on his blanket again. Like he was pretending to leave so I would leave. Then he came back after he thought I was gone. Weird boy. I tried to approach him quietly.

When I got closer to him I could see that he was doing something. It looked like he was writing something. He looked up and saw me. He didn't react as strongly this time. So I kept walking towards him. I sat down and tried not to be so awkward about this situation. I had to take a second to gather my thoughts.

So we sat in silence while he kept writing, making sure I wasn't going to kill him every other second by looking at me. It was kinda cute.. Wait. Wait wait wait. No. I didn't mean to think that. Fucking hell.