Swan Song
Stop the Pain from the Beatings
'Dean, I'm scared.' I whimpered, waddling towards the older boy, who was about 18. He picked me up, and looked into my wide, blue eyes. I was about six, and up until this point, Bobby had done a damn good job of keeping me sheltered from the monsters, demons, and every other bad thing that walked through his front door, let alone all the evil in the rest of the world. But, now it was different. John Winchester had told him that I should know, regardless of my age. It's how Dean and Sam were both raised. When Sam was little, and he said there was a boogeyman in his closet, John handed him a shot gun. Bobby didn't like the idea, but he figured John was right.
'Why, Ci?' Dean asked, running his hand through my thick brown head of curls. I pointed up the dusty brown stairs, that creaked when you walked on them. 'Up there? Your room?' He asked and I nodded. 'Well,...' Dean remembered what his dad said, and even though his dad wasn't here right now, he was a good son and he did whatever his dad told him. 'Let me show you something.' He took me up into my room, and sat me down on the bed. 'You can't be a scaredy-cat, Ci? What are you, a baby?'
I frowned and looked up at him, and tilted my head. 'What?' I whimpered, and he backed up to the door. I crawled down off my bed, and walked back to him, 'Dean!' I screamed in my little high pitched voice, and tugged on the bottom of his jeans. 'It's a monster!'
Dean frowned, and looked down at me. 'You gotta learn to take care of monsters yourself, Ci.' My eyes widened a little more, and tears started to pool to the surface. 'You're a big girl, stop being scared and grow up.' Back in his mind, Dean kind of justified this by thinking about how he had never had a childhood. Why should I?
'It's scary! With big red eyes and fangs!' I cried and tears streaked down my red cheeks. He frowned and looked down at me, and there was a little tint of sadness in his eyes. He leaned down and picked me up.
'They aren't gonna hurt you. They can't. You gotta toughen up, kid.' He sat me in my playpen, where I couldn't get out, and turned to leave the room. I kept screaming his name, crying, but he never came back. I looked over at the closet, and saw the white door slowly creep open, and I dove down to the bottom of the playpen and pulled my cover over my head, ceasing my screams. The boogeyman didn't like to hear kids scream.
I frowned as I woke up, and let my feet hit the floor. I pulled on my house shoes, and stood up. I always had nightmares from when I was a little kid. I just constantly relived it in my head. They had always made fun of me for being scared, they still did. I was 16 now, and still hadn't grown up yet. They thought it was just the saddest thing, ever. They thought making fun of me, and teasing me and being mean to me about it would help fix it. They'd been doing it for 10 years, when were they gonna stop?
Walking out of my room, and down the stairs into the kitchen, I heard something slamming up against the door. I frowned and looked over, and saw Dean's angry looking face as he tried to get into the house. "God dammit, Ci! Open the fucking door!" He yelled. I frowned and ran over, and unlocked it. It was a dead bolt, no wonder he couldn't get in. He thrust the door open, forcing me to fall back a little. Ow...
"What's wrong with you?" I whispered, afraid to speak to him. I'd rather him not explode on me.
"Well, let me lock you out of the house, all night long, and see how you like it!" He frowned and grabbed a beer from the fridge. Oh, right.... I had been home alone, and locked the door before I went to bed. I sighed. I apologized, and grabbed an apple from the table and sat down.
I looked up at him, as he sat down and threw his feet up. "How the fuck did you not hear me beating on that door all night long?" He twisted the cap off the bottle, and took a big sip.
"Heavy sleeper, I guess." I sighed and peeled the skin off the fruit, feeling like I wasn't even hungry anymore.
"Why did you even lock the door." He growled, and sat the beer down on the table and looked up at me. "Oh, were you scared someone would break in?" He rolled his eyes and got up. He usually wasn't that forward with the mean remarks. He was just in a pissed off mood.
"I said I was sorry..." I repeated and got up, putting the apple away. Dean used to be my favorite person in the whole world. I knew they just wanted me to toughen up and be stronger, but I just couldn't. I was a scaredy-cat. There was nothing else to it.
He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Well, I love my baby, but sleeping in that impala did not do it for me. I'm gonna head up and take a nap before Sammy and Bobby get back from the city." He grabbed the beer and looked over at me.
I looked up to meet his sparkling green eyes, "What?" I whispered. He was just staring at me.
"Nothing, Ci. You just grew up to be a pretty young lady." That was like dean, chase an insult with a compliment. I felt my face heat up in a blush, nonetheless.
I swallowed and look away from him, "Thanks, Dean." He nodded and headed up the stairs. He called down to tell me to stay awake and watch out for Bobby and Sam because he figured I'd lock the door again. "Okay." I sighed and got up, and went to flop down on the couch and wait for them to get home.
'Why, Ci?' Dean asked, running his hand through my thick brown head of curls. I pointed up the dusty brown stairs, that creaked when you walked on them. 'Up there? Your room?' He asked and I nodded. 'Well,...' Dean remembered what his dad said, and even though his dad wasn't here right now, he was a good son and he did whatever his dad told him. 'Let me show you something.' He took me up into my room, and sat me down on the bed. 'You can't be a scaredy-cat, Ci? What are you, a baby?'
I frowned and looked up at him, and tilted my head. 'What?' I whimpered, and he backed up to the door. I crawled down off my bed, and walked back to him, 'Dean!' I screamed in my little high pitched voice, and tugged on the bottom of his jeans. 'It's a monster!'
Dean frowned, and looked down at me. 'You gotta learn to take care of monsters yourself, Ci.' My eyes widened a little more, and tears started to pool to the surface. 'You're a big girl, stop being scared and grow up.' Back in his mind, Dean kind of justified this by thinking about how he had never had a childhood. Why should I?
'It's scary! With big red eyes and fangs!' I cried and tears streaked down my red cheeks. He frowned and looked down at me, and there was a little tint of sadness in his eyes. He leaned down and picked me up.
'They aren't gonna hurt you. They can't. You gotta toughen up, kid.' He sat me in my playpen, where I couldn't get out, and turned to leave the room. I kept screaming his name, crying, but he never came back. I looked over at the closet, and saw the white door slowly creep open, and I dove down to the bottom of the playpen and pulled my cover over my head, ceasing my screams. The boogeyman didn't like to hear kids scream.
I frowned as I woke up, and let my feet hit the floor. I pulled on my house shoes, and stood up. I always had nightmares from when I was a little kid. I just constantly relived it in my head. They had always made fun of me for being scared, they still did. I was 16 now, and still hadn't grown up yet. They thought it was just the saddest thing, ever. They thought making fun of me, and teasing me and being mean to me about it would help fix it. They'd been doing it for 10 years, when were they gonna stop?
Walking out of my room, and down the stairs into the kitchen, I heard something slamming up against the door. I frowned and looked over, and saw Dean's angry looking face as he tried to get into the house. "God dammit, Ci! Open the fucking door!" He yelled. I frowned and ran over, and unlocked it. It was a dead bolt, no wonder he couldn't get in. He thrust the door open, forcing me to fall back a little. Ow...
"What's wrong with you?" I whispered, afraid to speak to him. I'd rather him not explode on me.
"Well, let me lock you out of the house, all night long, and see how you like it!" He frowned and grabbed a beer from the fridge. Oh, right.... I had been home alone, and locked the door before I went to bed. I sighed. I apologized, and grabbed an apple from the table and sat down.
I looked up at him, as he sat down and threw his feet up. "How the fuck did you not hear me beating on that door all night long?" He twisted the cap off the bottle, and took a big sip.
"Heavy sleeper, I guess." I sighed and peeled the skin off the fruit, feeling like I wasn't even hungry anymore.
"Why did you even lock the door." He growled, and sat the beer down on the table and looked up at me. "Oh, were you scared someone would break in?" He rolled his eyes and got up. He usually wasn't that forward with the mean remarks. He was just in a pissed off mood.
"I said I was sorry..." I repeated and got up, putting the apple away. Dean used to be my favorite person in the whole world. I knew they just wanted me to toughen up and be stronger, but I just couldn't. I was a scaredy-cat. There was nothing else to it.
He sighed and rubbed his eyes. "Well, I love my baby, but sleeping in that impala did not do it for me. I'm gonna head up and take a nap before Sammy and Bobby get back from the city." He grabbed the beer and looked over at me.
I looked up to meet his sparkling green eyes, "What?" I whispered. He was just staring at me.
"Nothing, Ci. You just grew up to be a pretty young lady." That was like dean, chase an insult with a compliment. I felt my face heat up in a blush, nonetheless.
I swallowed and look away from him, "Thanks, Dean." He nodded and headed up the stairs. He called down to tell me to stay awake and watch out for Bobby and Sam because he figured I'd lock the door again. "Okay." I sighed and got up, and went to flop down on the couch and wait for them to get home.