Love Will Never Tear Us Apart, but Life Might
Men Overboard
It was hard to believe that tonight was really the last night on the yacht. “Hey why don’t we go chill up on the deck instead of just sitting inside watching TV?” Val suggested.
“But,” Zacky protested, “I need my TV!” He ran over and sat down next to the TV, just for a little extra emphasis or something like that.
“Well, just bring one of those TVs from the bedrooms up and we can plug it in out there. C’mon, Zacky, even you have to admit that’ll be pretty cool,” Matt said.
Zacky sighed, “Fine, I guess I could do that.” He walked down to the last room on the left which was me and Syn’s room. We all went upstairs carrying a few blankets and/or sleeping bags so we wouldn’t have to lay on the hard floor.
“Whoa, look at all those freaking stars!” Janet exclaimed as soon as she was out there. It was pretty impressive…and there was even a full moon too! Zacky crouched down to plug the TV in.
“Eww Zacky, plumber butt!” Cassie laughed.
Zacky looked down to see that his ass was in fact showing, so he pulled his pants down a little more and said, “How’s that?”
“Sick!”
“You’re jealous.”
“Of your ass?! Nah, I don’t think so.”
“It’s so obvious,” he replied as he stood back up.
“Ok…someone please change the subject.”
But no one had to say anything for that to happen because as soon as Zacky had the TV plugged in and on we all heard Syn’s voice introducing the video that he and I made a couple nights ago when everyone was sleeping. “Haha what the hell is this?!” Jimmy asked as everyone sat around the TV.
“First off tonight, we have Zacky Vengeance and his girlfriend Janet!” Syn announced.
Everyone except Zacky and Janet were laughing, and when the tape showed the part where I poked and tickled Zacky, he gasped, “My God! You violated me in my sleep!”
“That sounded kinda dirty,” Johnny laughed. I just tried to look as innocent as possible. The best part had to have been when the tape showed Jimmy and Cassie, hell even Jimmy and Cassie were laughing at themselves.
“I can’t believe you guys were just roaming around being creepy stalkers like that!” Melissa said, shocked.
Syn shrugged, “You guys all know it was funny. I mean, I bet you guys didn’t even know that you had weird sleeping habits.”
“Well,” Cassie laughed, “I didn’t need that tape to show me that Jimmy sleeps with a teddy bear!” All the guys burst out laughing and Jimmy just stared at Cassie in horror/shock. “Aw, I think it’s cute Jimmy, really,” she comforted him once she realized he was trying to give her the cold shoulder, which of course didn’t last very long.
Jimmy stood up suddenly and said, “Attention friends, I will be right back!” Nobody really responded, so he just stood there shocked and then cleared his throat and said, “I said-.”
“Yeah, we know!” Zacky said staring at the TV.
“I feel so unloved!” Jimmy dramatically shouted as he walked down to the bedrooms.
Johnny began scanning through the channels, clicking the remote so fast that you could barely see what was on each channel. “Seriously, dude, pick a freaking channel already!” Syn complained.
“Well, just because you guys can’t speed-channel-surf!” Johnny retorted.
“I have no comment,” Syn said rolling his eyes.
Suddenly, Matt’s phone started ringing. He looked down at the caller ID, shrugged, and answered, “Yo!”
“Yes, is this a Mr. Shanders?”
“Err, no I think you have the wrong number…”
“Oh, then who is this?”
“Dude, I’m not just going to tell some stranger my name.”
“But I’m not a stranger, I’m your neighborhood Domino’s pizza man!”
“Yeah…I definitely don’t know you and I’m sure as hell not telling you my name.”
“But I already know your name.”
“My name is not Mr. Shanders.”
“Right, but it is Matt.”
“How the hell did you know that?!”
“I already told you, I’m your neighborhood-.”
“What the hell do you want?!”
“Jeez, I just called to tell you that your pizza was ready.”
“I didn’t order no damn pizza.”
“Yes you did! It’s the only one here with mushrooms, sausage, and pepperoni, just the way you like it. I know that none of my other customers order that.”
“Ok, you listen here you sick bastard, how the hell did you know my name and what pizza I like?!”
“Sir, there’s no need for verbal harassment, I can call the cops you know!”
“I didn’t order any damn pizza!”
“Hey, hey don’t go changing the subject on me. All I want is my $10.95 that you owe me for this large pizza.”
“I’m not paying that.”
“Why not? Just because you and I are buddies doesn’t mean that you get free pizza. I put my soul into each pizza I make and I do not sell soul pizza for free!”
“I think you’re insane and I’m hanging up now.”
“No! Not until I get my $10.95.”
“Are you deaf, I’m not Matt Shanders ok, I’m not paying for a pizza that I didn’t order! Goodbye.”
“Matt, if you hang up on me you’ll regret it!”
Matt slammed the phone shut, and it was loud enough that we could hear the entire conversation. “Who the hell was that?” Val asked while holding back laughter.
Matt sighed, “Some freaking crazy dude trying to convince me that I ordered a pizza.”
“Did someone say pizza?” someone asked from the hallway…at first I didn’t know who it was, but then realized that that voice sounded like…the pizza guy. I turned around and saw that it was Jimmy.
“Did you seriously just prank call me?!” Matt asked in disbelief.
“Haha yeah, but you gotta give me some props. I mean, Shanders? That’s like a combination of your stage-last name and your real last name!”
“You’re seriously insane, Jimmy,” Matt laughed.
“So I’ve been told, so I’ve been told.”
The rest of the night, we all slept out on the deck having a huge outdoor sleepover party. I ended up falling asleep between Brian and Zacky, and of course I didn’t mind being close to Brian, but Zacky kept obnoxiously snoring and drooling and he wouldn’t turn over. “This is gonna be a long night,” I laughed…then Brian laughed too which scared me because I didn’t think he was still up. “You scared me.”
“Well you should know that Zacky can keep anyone up all night.”
“Yeah…but you’re usually asleep before I am.”
“You know what I think? If we can’t fall asleep then we should just…” I caught on to his idea and turned around so that we could start kissing.
“That made things a little better,” I smiled.
“God will you guys shut up, I’m trying to sleep,” Zacky mumbled.
“Huh, look who’s talking!” Brian laughed. I guess around 3 AM Brian and I finally fell asleep…too bad we’ll be getting up in four hours!
The next morning, I didn’t feel like getting up at all. I heard people talking but that wasn’t gonna be enough to wake me up. “Haha it figures those two would be the last ones asleep,” Zacky said.
“I know how to wake them up,” Matt replied. Suddenly, there was this super loud honk that sounded like a horn.
I jumped up out of the covers and said, “What the hell’s going on?!” Everyone started laughing at me as I looked around and realized what just happened. “Oh I am so gonna get you Shanders,” I smirked. Jimmy started to laugh extra hard at my little reference there.
“Now that everyone is awake,” Matt announced into that freaking annoying megaphone, “The captain would like to say a few words before we must part with this magnificent boat. All belongings must be taken or else they will stay here forever, or until someone else rents this yacht, and you’ll never see whatever it was that you left behind ever again. The exit is on your right, my left and we are about a mile from the dock. Please refrain from jumping off the boat ahead of time. Thank you.” Everyone went back downstairs to pack their stuff back up and by the time we were done we were close to shore.
Zacky and Jimmy started fighting over who should be the first one to get off the boat. Why? I don’t really know. Anyway, they both raced each other off and that resulted in them elbowing each other out the way which ended up in both of them falling overboard. “Men overboard!” Matt shouted into his megaphone. I couldn’t believe that that seriously just happened. Well, they both made it out of the water before any of the ‘bad fishies,’ as Jimmy put it, could eat them.
Unfortunately, those two were riding home with me, Brian, Cassie, and Janet, which was something that I was not looking forward to because they were soaking wet. And Cassie wasn’t too happy either. “I swear you guys better not ruin my leather seats!” she warned as she started up the engine and drove home.
Being back at the house felt so weird, I mean we were on a boat for around 5 days, so you can’t really blame me. I was the first one in the kitchen and saw the weirdest thing. Brandon was just kinda chilling at the kitchen table, eating a hot dog. “Whoa, you guys are finally back!” he said.
“Uh yeah but what are you doing here, no offense? Didn’t you guys realize that Pepper was with us on the boat?”
“Well, yeah but Alex never goes shopping for food anymore, and I happened to notice that you guys always have a ton of stuff in your fridge and I thought ‘what would happen if that food went bad and then it just got wasted?’ So I decided to make it my duty to guard the fridge and uh…protect it from the evil expiration dates!”
“Wow, great story Brandon.”
“I swear to God, it’s the truth.”
“Brandon, what the hell are you doing here?!” Zacky shouted once he came into the kitchen…then Brandon retold the whole story.
“Oooh who’s Kristen?” Jimmy asked looking through the list of missed calls on the caller ID. Kristen? Could that be my mom? That would be creepy if it was.
“Uh, let me listen to the message,” I said. I was right…my mom called me for the first time in a year. Oh by the way, Adam left the night that we all went to Red Lobster because he forgot to request off from Hot Topic and couldn’t find someone to be his replacement…I have to remind myself to laugh at him when he gets home. Anyway, it’s weird that my mom called now, when I had to call her.
“I’ll ask again, who’s Kristen?” Jimmy asked again.
“Uh, it’s my mom…” Brian heard that and right away he was by my side.
“Did you want to call her back now?”
I sighed, “Yeah, might as well get it over with right?” We walked hand in hand back to our room and sat down on the bed.
“Don’t forget I’m here for you,” he reminded me. He gave me just enough confidence to go through with it.
I dialed the number and waited for her to answer. I could just tell this was going to be the most awkward conversation of my life. “Hello?”
“Uh, hi, mom it’s Sam. I got your message.”
“Yes, dear, I called you and I was so upset when you didn’t pick up and now you waited almost a whole week before calling back! Where on earth were you?”
“I went on a yacht with Matt and some of his friends and-.”
“Who’s this Matt character?”
“Uh he’s the Matthew Sanders guy, you know the one that you made me and Adam go live with.”
“Oh, yes, and how is he?”
“He’s awesome! He has a really nice house and Adam and I get along great with his friends that he shares the house with.”
“What is he running, some kind of homeless shelter for 20 year olds?!”
“No, mom, they’re his bandmates. You know that one band I love – Avenged Sevenfold?”
“Oh yes, that one that you would always make me listen too even though I couldn’t stand it?”
“Um yeah that one. Well, Matt’s really M. Shadows.”
“That’s Matthew Sanders, the Matthew that’s related to us?!”
“Yep, and you remember Synyster Gates, the guitarist, well there’s something you should know about him…Um, we’re getting married next month.”
“YOU’RE WHAT?!” she yelled. I heard some typing in the background and I could tell she was googling him to see what he looked like, I guess. “No way. There is absolutely no way you’re marrying someone like that.”
“Why not?!”
“I will not have my daughter marry someone that has all those tattoos!”
“Mom, who cares about that? He’s an amazing person and I love him.”
“No.”
“Like you really have a say.”
“What is that supposed to mean?!”
“Well, mom, you’re the one who had me move in with Matt, right? Thanks to you and dad I met Avenged Sevenfold and now I’m marrying Brian. I was about to call and tell you, because I really…I really want you and dad to come to the wedding.”
“Why would I go to a wedding that I don’t support? I could disown you for this, you know.”
Why was she being such a bitch about this?! I didn’t want to, but I felt myself start to cry. Brian immediately held on to my hand, making me feel slightly better.
“Mom, I can’t believe you’re honestly saying something like that. I know you don’t like Brian’s ‘look’ but mom, I’m the same way. You’ve always given me nothing but a hard time about what I liked and it drove me crazy. The least you could do is give this a chance! He’s amazing at what he does and has tons of money. He’s the best guy that I’ve ever met, and…he’s my soul companion. I want you to come to the wedding, please.”
“I just don’t know what to say to that Samantha. Although it’s true that I was the one who sent you to Matthew, had I have known what he looked like, I wouldn’t have done it.”
“You know what? I tried to be nice about this, I tried to prove my point, but I guess it’s not working. If you don’t care about me, then that’s fine. The wedding is October 24th, if you’re interested. Bye.” I slammed my phone shut and was completely frustrated. “I can’t believe her!” I shouted. “I’m really sorry Brian…”
“No, it’s ok. It’s her loss, honestly. You and I love each other and that’s all that matters right?”
I smiled, “That’s right!” One good thing that came from this conversation with my mom was that I was reminded why I fell in love with Brian all over again, and it made me love him more. He was there for me, just like he said it would be.
Val came running into my room, “SAMMIE!”
“What?” I asked.
“C’mon we have to go,” she said tugging me away from Brian.
“Where?”
She stopped for a minute and said, “It’s a surprise.”
“But,” Zacky protested, “I need my TV!” He ran over and sat down next to the TV, just for a little extra emphasis or something like that.
“Well, just bring one of those TVs from the bedrooms up and we can plug it in out there. C’mon, Zacky, even you have to admit that’ll be pretty cool,” Matt said.
Zacky sighed, “Fine, I guess I could do that.” He walked down to the last room on the left which was me and Syn’s room. We all went upstairs carrying a few blankets and/or sleeping bags so we wouldn’t have to lay on the hard floor.
“Whoa, look at all those freaking stars!” Janet exclaimed as soon as she was out there. It was pretty impressive…and there was even a full moon too! Zacky crouched down to plug the TV in.
“Eww Zacky, plumber butt!” Cassie laughed.
Zacky looked down to see that his ass was in fact showing, so he pulled his pants down a little more and said, “How’s that?”
“Sick!”
“You’re jealous.”
“Of your ass?! Nah, I don’t think so.”
“It’s so obvious,” he replied as he stood back up.
“Ok…someone please change the subject.”
But no one had to say anything for that to happen because as soon as Zacky had the TV plugged in and on we all heard Syn’s voice introducing the video that he and I made a couple nights ago when everyone was sleeping. “Haha what the hell is this?!” Jimmy asked as everyone sat around the TV.
“First off tonight, we have Zacky Vengeance and his girlfriend Janet!” Syn announced.
Everyone except Zacky and Janet were laughing, and when the tape showed the part where I poked and tickled Zacky, he gasped, “My God! You violated me in my sleep!”
“That sounded kinda dirty,” Johnny laughed. I just tried to look as innocent as possible. The best part had to have been when the tape showed Jimmy and Cassie, hell even Jimmy and Cassie were laughing at themselves.
“I can’t believe you guys were just roaming around being creepy stalkers like that!” Melissa said, shocked.
Syn shrugged, “You guys all know it was funny. I mean, I bet you guys didn’t even know that you had weird sleeping habits.”
“Well,” Cassie laughed, “I didn’t need that tape to show me that Jimmy sleeps with a teddy bear!” All the guys burst out laughing and Jimmy just stared at Cassie in horror/shock. “Aw, I think it’s cute Jimmy, really,” she comforted him once she realized he was trying to give her the cold shoulder, which of course didn’t last very long.
Jimmy stood up suddenly and said, “Attention friends, I will be right back!” Nobody really responded, so he just stood there shocked and then cleared his throat and said, “I said-.”
“Yeah, we know!” Zacky said staring at the TV.
“I feel so unloved!” Jimmy dramatically shouted as he walked down to the bedrooms.
Johnny began scanning through the channels, clicking the remote so fast that you could barely see what was on each channel. “Seriously, dude, pick a freaking channel already!” Syn complained.
“Well, just because you guys can’t speed-channel-surf!” Johnny retorted.
“I have no comment,” Syn said rolling his eyes.
Suddenly, Matt’s phone started ringing. He looked down at the caller ID, shrugged, and answered, “Yo!”
“Yes, is this a Mr. Shanders?”
“Err, no I think you have the wrong number…”
“Oh, then who is this?”
“Dude, I’m not just going to tell some stranger my name.”
“But I’m not a stranger, I’m your neighborhood Domino’s pizza man!”
“Yeah…I definitely don’t know you and I’m sure as hell not telling you my name.”
“But I already know your name.”
“My name is not Mr. Shanders.”
“Right, but it is Matt.”
“How the hell did you know that?!”
“I already told you, I’m your neighborhood-.”
“What the hell do you want?!”
“Jeez, I just called to tell you that your pizza was ready.”
“I didn’t order no damn pizza.”
“Yes you did! It’s the only one here with mushrooms, sausage, and pepperoni, just the way you like it. I know that none of my other customers order that.”
“Ok, you listen here you sick bastard, how the hell did you know my name and what pizza I like?!”
“Sir, there’s no need for verbal harassment, I can call the cops you know!”
“I didn’t order any damn pizza!”
“Hey, hey don’t go changing the subject on me. All I want is my $10.95 that you owe me for this large pizza.”
“I’m not paying that.”
“Why not? Just because you and I are buddies doesn’t mean that you get free pizza. I put my soul into each pizza I make and I do not sell soul pizza for free!”
“I think you’re insane and I’m hanging up now.”
“No! Not until I get my $10.95.”
“Are you deaf, I’m not Matt Shanders ok, I’m not paying for a pizza that I didn’t order! Goodbye.”
“Matt, if you hang up on me you’ll regret it!”
Matt slammed the phone shut, and it was loud enough that we could hear the entire conversation. “Who the hell was that?” Val asked while holding back laughter.
Matt sighed, “Some freaking crazy dude trying to convince me that I ordered a pizza.”
“Did someone say pizza?” someone asked from the hallway…at first I didn’t know who it was, but then realized that that voice sounded like…the pizza guy. I turned around and saw that it was Jimmy.
“Did you seriously just prank call me?!” Matt asked in disbelief.
“Haha yeah, but you gotta give me some props. I mean, Shanders? That’s like a combination of your stage-last name and your real last name!”
“You’re seriously insane, Jimmy,” Matt laughed.
“So I’ve been told, so I’ve been told.”
The rest of the night, we all slept out on the deck having a huge outdoor sleepover party. I ended up falling asleep between Brian and Zacky, and of course I didn’t mind being close to Brian, but Zacky kept obnoxiously snoring and drooling and he wouldn’t turn over. “This is gonna be a long night,” I laughed…then Brian laughed too which scared me because I didn’t think he was still up. “You scared me.”
“Well you should know that Zacky can keep anyone up all night.”
“Yeah…but you’re usually asleep before I am.”
“You know what I think? If we can’t fall asleep then we should just…” I caught on to his idea and turned around so that we could start kissing.
“That made things a little better,” I smiled.
“God will you guys shut up, I’m trying to sleep,” Zacky mumbled.
“Huh, look who’s talking!” Brian laughed. I guess around 3 AM Brian and I finally fell asleep…too bad we’ll be getting up in four hours!
The next morning, I didn’t feel like getting up at all. I heard people talking but that wasn’t gonna be enough to wake me up. “Haha it figures those two would be the last ones asleep,” Zacky said.
“I know how to wake them up,” Matt replied. Suddenly, there was this super loud honk that sounded like a horn.
I jumped up out of the covers and said, “What the hell’s going on?!” Everyone started laughing at me as I looked around and realized what just happened. “Oh I am so gonna get you Shanders,” I smirked. Jimmy started to laugh extra hard at my little reference there.
“Now that everyone is awake,” Matt announced into that freaking annoying megaphone, “The captain would like to say a few words before we must part with this magnificent boat. All belongings must be taken or else they will stay here forever, or until someone else rents this yacht, and you’ll never see whatever it was that you left behind ever again. The exit is on your right, my left and we are about a mile from the dock. Please refrain from jumping off the boat ahead of time. Thank you.” Everyone went back downstairs to pack their stuff back up and by the time we were done we were close to shore.
Zacky and Jimmy started fighting over who should be the first one to get off the boat. Why? I don’t really know. Anyway, they both raced each other off and that resulted in them elbowing each other out the way which ended up in both of them falling overboard. “Men overboard!” Matt shouted into his megaphone. I couldn’t believe that that seriously just happened. Well, they both made it out of the water before any of the ‘bad fishies,’ as Jimmy put it, could eat them.
Unfortunately, those two were riding home with me, Brian, Cassie, and Janet, which was something that I was not looking forward to because they were soaking wet. And Cassie wasn’t too happy either. “I swear you guys better not ruin my leather seats!” she warned as she started up the engine and drove home.
Being back at the house felt so weird, I mean we were on a boat for around 5 days, so you can’t really blame me. I was the first one in the kitchen and saw the weirdest thing. Brandon was just kinda chilling at the kitchen table, eating a hot dog. “Whoa, you guys are finally back!” he said.
“Uh yeah but what are you doing here, no offense? Didn’t you guys realize that Pepper was with us on the boat?”
“Well, yeah but Alex never goes shopping for food anymore, and I happened to notice that you guys always have a ton of stuff in your fridge and I thought ‘what would happen if that food went bad and then it just got wasted?’ So I decided to make it my duty to guard the fridge and uh…protect it from the evil expiration dates!”
“Wow, great story Brandon.”
“I swear to God, it’s the truth.”
“Brandon, what the hell are you doing here?!” Zacky shouted once he came into the kitchen…then Brandon retold the whole story.
“Oooh who’s Kristen?” Jimmy asked looking through the list of missed calls on the caller ID. Kristen? Could that be my mom? That would be creepy if it was.
“Uh, let me listen to the message,” I said. I was right…my mom called me for the first time in a year. Oh by the way, Adam left the night that we all went to Red Lobster because he forgot to request off from Hot Topic and couldn’t find someone to be his replacement…I have to remind myself to laugh at him when he gets home. Anyway, it’s weird that my mom called now, when I had to call her.
“I’ll ask again, who’s Kristen?” Jimmy asked again.
“Uh, it’s my mom…” Brian heard that and right away he was by my side.
“Did you want to call her back now?”
I sighed, “Yeah, might as well get it over with right?” We walked hand in hand back to our room and sat down on the bed.
“Don’t forget I’m here for you,” he reminded me. He gave me just enough confidence to go through with it.
I dialed the number and waited for her to answer. I could just tell this was going to be the most awkward conversation of my life. “Hello?”
“Uh, hi, mom it’s Sam. I got your message.”
“Yes, dear, I called you and I was so upset when you didn’t pick up and now you waited almost a whole week before calling back! Where on earth were you?”
“I went on a yacht with Matt and some of his friends and-.”
“Who’s this Matt character?”
“Uh he’s the Matthew Sanders guy, you know the one that you made me and Adam go live with.”
“Oh, yes, and how is he?”
“He’s awesome! He has a really nice house and Adam and I get along great with his friends that he shares the house with.”
“What is he running, some kind of homeless shelter for 20 year olds?!”
“No, mom, they’re his bandmates. You know that one band I love – Avenged Sevenfold?”
“Oh yes, that one that you would always make me listen too even though I couldn’t stand it?”
“Um yeah that one. Well, Matt’s really M. Shadows.”
“That’s Matthew Sanders, the Matthew that’s related to us?!”
“Yep, and you remember Synyster Gates, the guitarist, well there’s something you should know about him…Um, we’re getting married next month.”
“YOU’RE WHAT?!” she yelled. I heard some typing in the background and I could tell she was googling him to see what he looked like, I guess. “No way. There is absolutely no way you’re marrying someone like that.”
“Why not?!”
“I will not have my daughter marry someone that has all those tattoos!”
“Mom, who cares about that? He’s an amazing person and I love him.”
“No.”
“Like you really have a say.”
“What is that supposed to mean?!”
“Well, mom, you’re the one who had me move in with Matt, right? Thanks to you and dad I met Avenged Sevenfold and now I’m marrying Brian. I was about to call and tell you, because I really…I really want you and dad to come to the wedding.”
“Why would I go to a wedding that I don’t support? I could disown you for this, you know.”
Why was she being such a bitch about this?! I didn’t want to, but I felt myself start to cry. Brian immediately held on to my hand, making me feel slightly better.
“Mom, I can’t believe you’re honestly saying something like that. I know you don’t like Brian’s ‘look’ but mom, I’m the same way. You’ve always given me nothing but a hard time about what I liked and it drove me crazy. The least you could do is give this a chance! He’s amazing at what he does and has tons of money. He’s the best guy that I’ve ever met, and…he’s my soul companion. I want you to come to the wedding, please.”
“I just don’t know what to say to that Samantha. Although it’s true that I was the one who sent you to Matthew, had I have known what he looked like, I wouldn’t have done it.”
“You know what? I tried to be nice about this, I tried to prove my point, but I guess it’s not working. If you don’t care about me, then that’s fine. The wedding is October 24th, if you’re interested. Bye.” I slammed my phone shut and was completely frustrated. “I can’t believe her!” I shouted. “I’m really sorry Brian…”
“No, it’s ok. It’s her loss, honestly. You and I love each other and that’s all that matters right?”
I smiled, “That’s right!” One good thing that came from this conversation with my mom was that I was reminded why I fell in love with Brian all over again, and it made me love him more. He was there for me, just like he said it would be.
Val came running into my room, “SAMMIE!”
“What?” I asked.
“C’mon we have to go,” she said tugging me away from Brian.
“Where?”
She stopped for a minute and said, “It’s a surprise.”